Laron Landry is a Certified Monster With Cartoonishly Large Arms
Laron Landry appears to have been hitting the gym during the offseason. My guess is that the gym was not able to hit back.
If there is a plane with doors large enough for Landry to fit through, FEMA should fly him to areas affected by natural disasters so he can him pick up medium-sized buildings that may have people trapped underneath.
Rumors that Landry had his heart replaced with a Hemi have not yet been confirmed true.
Should we be worried by the fact that his biceps are as big as the waist bands of most Redskin fans’ sweatpants?
Any chance he fit any cardio into his routine this winter or do we just think he crushed the bones of some Olympics sprinters into a fine powder, mixed it with some Muscle Milk and called it a day? Good lord.
[via @mrlandry30, @encoresportsceo via DC Sports Bog]
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February 23rd, 2012 at 1:00 PM
Starting defense!!! Seat at the table!!!! Wooooooo!
/Latimer’d
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:01 PM
He’d probably be a better player if he dropped 15 pounds of bulk. I think he is overrated.
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:01 PM
gross gross gross gross
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:01 PM
‘Roiding until your ridiculously jacked worked out great for David Boston.
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:02 PM
percentage of women that find this attractive? 10%? 40%?
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:02 PM
He actually looks like a Ken doll
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:02 PM
isn’t he supposed to have a neck somewhere on there? jesus christ.
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:02 PM
And nuts the size of a lima bean I’ll bet.
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:02 PM
Should we be worried by the fact that his biceps are as big as the waist bands of most Redskin fans’ sweatpants?
Awesome.
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:03 PM
His bicep is like 3/4 the size of my waist.
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:03 PM
Also, not a fan of the portrait tattoo. I applaud you trying to memorialize someone important in your life, but too much can go wrong.
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:04 PM
That body cannot be good for his mobility.
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:04 PM
I want to see him swing a golf club.
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:04 PM
how we all remember laron landry best
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:04 PM
exhibit A: http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&gs_nf=1&cp=18&gs_id=1k&xhr=t&q=funny+portraits+tattoo&gs_upl=&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.r_qf.,cf.osb&biw=1600&bih=1043&wrapid=tljp1330020243942028&um=1&ie=UTF-8&tbm=isch&source=og&sa=N&tab=wi&ei=mX9GT4y3OeTg0QGzxLy3Dg
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:04 PM
.5%?
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:04 PM
What is that container he’s holding? Creatine?
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:04 PM
You more shredded than a Julienne salad, man.
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:05 PM
It’s probably his dead mom or something, but that pic of the lady on his right breast is cracking me up
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:05 PM
That’s a lot of protein bars.
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:06 PM
He’d probably be a better player if he dropped 15 pounds of bulk. I think he is overrated.
to my knowledge, he’s currently rated “not a very good safety,” so I think he’s properly rated.
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:06 PM
Dude’s taking mirror shots is so gay.
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:06 PM
Sonofabitch. Imagine getting hit by that across the middle? These NFL guys are machines.
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:07 PM
File this post under v-shaped back.
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:07 PM
Is he trying to become a linebacker? Makes sense because he’s overrated as a safety. I remember the Saints absolutely stitching a clown suit on him three years ago:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UI4Z0o587qU
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:07 PM
The 2 best tattoos I’ve ever seen — Every summer my friends and I go to Lake James in Angola, IN for a weekend at my friends Lake House. It’s a weird mix of people with money and total white trash — but everyone hangs out at the sand bar and you just mix it up with all kinds of different people. One girl had “I Love Sex” tattooed on the inside of her bottom lip. Last year, we went 4th of July weekend and a dude was wearing a Uncle Same hat, wearing a USA thong, and had “Sorry For Partying” tattooed on his right butt cheek.
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:07 PM
He should be a linebacker or the Redskins need to switch to a 3-5-3.
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:07 PM
For people that lift:
If you had the means of an NFL player (money, discreet doctors), would you dabble in some performance-enhancing drug use? I think that I’d at least do one cycle. No HGH, though…my head is already big enough.
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:07 PM
Someone quickly needs to tell him the story of David Boston. This is ridiculous.
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:08 PM
+1 blackface
Steroids are unbelievable
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:09 PM
percentage of women that find this attractive? 10%? 40%?
.5%?
Oh okay… after the hawks/knicks game last night, I left the TV on the local foxsports affiliate after the game ended as I was doing something else. Anyways, they had this show on the Atlanta Hawks cheerleaders… she was babbling on about her interests in the most vapid way possible, as most cheerleaders seem to do. The standard “I get the fans fired up!” (no you don’t) and “I really feel like I’m making a difference in the community!” (not really). Then she got to describing what she looked for in a man… she goes “HUGE muscles, nice teeth, and very athletic/fast, etc. etc.”
Swear to god, if you didn’t know the context, you would have thought she was describing a horse.
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:10 PM
holy crap.
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:10 PM
I hate people who are that huge at the gym, and they just walk around the place with each arm being 3 feet apart from their body.
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:11 PM
If you had the means of an NFL player (money, discreet doctors), would you dabble in some performance-enhancing drug use? I think that I’d at least do one cycle. No HGH, though…my head is already big enough.
I have been curious as to how much stronger I could be with a cycle or 2. I weight 260 — I benched 280 last week without a spotter, though I’m not sure how much more I could go without supplements. I just started deadlifting and I love it — I don’t know how I didn’t catch onto deadlifting sooner.
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:11 PM
I hate people who are that huge at the gym, and they just walk around the place with each arm being 3 feet apart from their body.
…carrying their gallon of water with some creatine powder mixed in.
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:12 PM
I doubt he can move very well now.
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:12 PM
And carry around a gallon of water or a protein shake with them everywhere they go. I hate the fuckin gym.
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:13 PM
Is that even him? What happened to his right bicep tattoo in the second pic?
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:13 PM
I just started deadlifting and I love it — I don’t know how I didn’t catch onto deadlifting sooner.
that will get you big in a hurry. Started doing this about 6 months ago. I hate the actual exercise (because it’s hard) but I feel so great afterwards.
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:14 PM
The last time I was seriously lifting was three years ago and that summer I got up to a 425 max on bench without touching any supplements unless chicken teriyaki subs count. I have noooo interest in juicing, that shit seems too low reward. I’m not a professional athlete, why the fuck would I need it?
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:14 PM
Allen Belcher’s melting johnny cash tattoo agrees.
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:14 PM
this is the David Boston plan where you buff yourself out of the league. he seriously looks 250 in the pic on the right. how does this help a safety coming off of injuries?
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:14 PM
His bicep is like 3/4 the size of my waist. SC
Fatty.
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:15 PM
Me too, but I go during the winter when I’m working at the office instead of roofing. I have no metabolism.
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:15 PM
that will get you big in a hurry. Started doing this about 6 months ago. I hate the actual exercise (because it’s hard) but I feel so great afterwards.
I love it, I’m still sore from doing it on Tuesday evening. I might just ditch all other routines and do the Bench\Squat\Deadlift only program.
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:15 PM
I’m so glad I go to a women-only gym now. I really don’t miss seeing guys like this and the old gay guys stretching in short shorts with no underwear.
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:15 PM
Ha, yes.
Let’s put the women and children to bed and go lookin’ for dinner.
Roids, roids, and more roids.
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:16 PM
It just isn’t necessary for normal people. If you had that kind of scratch a really good personal trainer and a dietitian/nutritionist will take you pretty damn far. Unless you are actually going for the total meathead look. I feel pretty confident in saying that most women would rather see their man look like Will Smith circa I am Legend than the freak you see above.
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:16 PM
doesn’t need mobility when those biceps have a gravity field of their own.
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:16 PM
I would join a gym that is guys only. Would eliminate the section of guys who only go to talk to chicks and just get in the way.
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:17 PM
Astute observation. Especially since he looks even more jacked in the second picture than in the first so we know it’s not a before and after deal.
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:17 PM
My least favorite gym people are the assholes who talk on their cell phone while on the treadmill/elliptical. You’re not really bothering anyone, you just look like a huge dickhead.
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:17 PM
I’m pretty much assuming 75% of the NFL uses HGH.
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:18 PM
My philosophy on this has always been if you’re able to talk or text on your phone while doing cardio, you’re not going fast enough. Also, agree on the dickhead part.
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:19 PM
I think that might be my biggest gym pet peeve. Less than 1% of the population is important enough that they have to take a phone call while they’re working out.
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:19 PM
Oh my god in heaven. This regular old guy wears shorts that are probably 10 inches long, and hair legs that would humble SC. It’s the worst, Jerry.
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:19 PM
Nevermind. That tattoo is actually on the left arm. He’s taking a picture in the mirror so his arms are switched. It’s probably him. What a buffoon.
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:20 PM
I’ve been in the AM Round-up all morning. The 50 posts in one day was only a one day thing I take it?
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:20 PM
I thought that was Gold’s Gym. At the very least the women that do go there are of no attraction for men there.
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:20 PM
I’m not even talking about body hair issues. Balls. I saw old man balls.
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:21 PM
I rewind and watch the scene where he’s working out over and over and over
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:22 PM
Good lord man how much do you weigh? I thought I was a bad ass the first time I broke 300. The most I ever did was 325 but I was 220 back then. I’m only about 200 now and doubt I could do much more than 285.
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:22 PM
First pic is a mirror image. Right (non-tattooed) arm is on the viewers right.
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:22 PM
One is a mirror pic.
He’s not really this big. This is a classic “take a picture as soon as you’re done doing dumbbell curls to failure so your blood is flowing” picture.
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:22 PM
Those workout gloves of his have to be some fertile viral nesting grounds.
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:23 PM
Gross.
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:23 PM
people who walk around with the bluetooth piece in their ear and cell phone in hand, but never get calls, are slightly worse than these people.
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:23 PM
Who cares. He can’t crush players nearly as well as this guy.
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:28 PM
Trouble in paradise?
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:28 PM
Ugh, agree.
I don’t even bring my phone to the gym. Whatever people are calling me about, it can wait for an hour.
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:29 PM
Oh, and getting jacked will probably not help Landry’s coverage skills.
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:30 PM
He obviously took these post workout and is a bit on the swole side but to say that he is not big it just plain dumb.
This is what he used to look like
Dude has probably put on 30lbs since college and any guy that is in the 240 neighborhood with about 4% BF is a giant.
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:32 PM
The last time I was seriously lifting was three years ago and that summer I got up to a 425 max on bench without touching any supplements unless chicken teriyaki subs count. I have noooo interest in juicing, that shit seems too low reward. I’m not a professional athlete, why the fuck would I need it?
short ass arms
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:34 PM
Ok, everyone tell us how much you bench.
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:34 PM
Well this can’t be right.
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:35 PM
might be able to put the bar up.
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:35 PM
short ass arms
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:36 PM
Yuck.
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:36 PM
More than Durant
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:36 PM
What’s the bar plus ten pounds on each side? 250? 250.
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:38 PM
short ass arms
good one lil’ Penny
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:38 PM
Dumbbell bench of GTFO
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:38 PM
i’m surprised TBL hasn’t gotten all over this thread with his 36″ biceps and tea bag/spotting tendencies.
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:40 PM
for real, see too many people starting with the bar, seeing them almost roll off the side of the bench b/c one side is weaker than the other and get all scared is pretty funny.
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:41 PM
the bar plus 10s is 55
the worst gym fashion is white legs with black hair, short shorts and black socks. i think it’s sily when folks get dressed up and coordinated for the gym, but the other extreme is just as bad
also not a fan of 50 yo white men getting new tats, like they are the gold chain and camaro that used to tag newly divorced middle aged men
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:42 PM
I bench 350.
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:42 PM
I like the group of meatheads who sit around and talk with there protein shakes and do one set of 2 reps of whatever exercise they are doing and it takes them 25 minutes. Those are my favorites.
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:43 PM
Depends how much I’ve had to drink that night.
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:44 PM
the bar plus 10s is 55
65 lbs. (Bar = 45 lbs)
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:44 PM
I mostly lift at the machines. People at the free weights annoy the living hell out of me, and I’m not trying to look like The Warlord.
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:45 PM
My biggest gym pet peeve is jerks coming to them and having sex with my wife.
/banders
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:46 PM
Either working out or math is not Vez’s thing.
Also, picking up on sarcasm.
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:46 PM
LaRoid Landry. Surprised no one jumped on this.
/ Seriously, was it too obvious?
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:47 PM
One of the better investments I ever made was a gym quality bench and straight bar and some york plates. I lift in my garage.
Only go to the gym now for cardio.
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:48 PM
It was a sad day when the douchiest meathead at my gym came all decked out in green bay packers garb. Figured he was for sure a cowboys fan.
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:48 PM
the bar plus 10s is 55
65 lbs. (Bar = 45 lbs)
i messed that up because i usually throw 100s on
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:49 PM
My biggest gym pet peeve is jerks coming to them and having sex with my wife.
/banders
hee
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:50 PM
I lift in my garage.
with the neighbor kid?
/spacey’d
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:51 PM
I love working out at home. I have a treadmill, free weights, and a pull up bar. You really don’t need anything more than that to get an outstanding workout.
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:51 PM
Nah I’m six one, was a lot bigger then though.
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:51 PM
in green bay packers garb.
Zubapocalypse!
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:51 PM
Two more shitty gym people:
– the 45-70-year old guys that walk around the locker room, sauna, steam room, etc. stark naked and make no attempt to use a towel
– the tool with $600 worth of color-coordinated Under Armour workout clothes. A shitty T-shirt and basketball shorts are just fine, buddy.
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:52 PM
When I was young and weighed 145, I could bench 245. Now, being old and not giving a shit, all I do is curl 12 ounces. 20 ounces if it’s happy hour.
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:52 PM
“My job consists of basically masking my contempt for the assholes in charge, and, at least once a day, retiring to the men’s room so I can jerk off while I fantasize about a life that doesn’t so closely resemble Hell.”
/Ricky Fitts is not my weed dealer
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:55 PM
some of my favorite t-shirts are my workout ones, long sleeve too.
NFL on TNT
Pirate Radio 103.5 Less Music By Dead Guys
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:56 PM
I’m 6-6, 230 but my arms are long as shit. Like, Durant long. So basically, benching and pushups are the worst thing ever. Hated it ever since middle school. I’ll be eternally jealous of the 5-6 trolls who can bench three bills because they only have to raise the bar two inches.
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:57 PM
also i laugh at the guys who make a big show of how flexible they are and how primitive/alternative their workout is while us clueless folks lift weights and use cardio machines
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:58 PM
@Queefer: 6-3 but my wingspan is like 6-10. Used to argue with my friends that my bench reps should each count as two because I literally had to push it twice as far as most of them.
February 23rd, 2012 at 1:58 PM
I always see the guys that do push ups, sit ups, and pull ups at the gym.
Which is all well and good. But do you NEED a gym membership to do those things? Probably not.
February 23rd, 2012 at 2:00 PM
Nothing more demoralizing than doing a super-set of push ups when your arms are jelly.
February 23rd, 2012 at 2:01 PM
i may try plyometrics again because one of my knees keeps me from running or skipping rope. did them in hs before my senior year — jumpig on and off our natural gas tank in the backyard — and really boosted the speed
February 23rd, 2012 at 2:01 PM
then i would laugh at myself
February 23rd, 2012 at 2:02 PM
As a veteran of those arguments, I can tell you it’s an uphill battle. “Yeah, well, basketball is easier for you” was one I always got.
Now that I’m pushing 30 I realize how comparatively useless the bar bench is as a workout. But when you’re in college its the universal metric.
February 23rd, 2012 at 2:03 PM
No, you won’t.
February 23rd, 2012 at 2:03 PM
Worst thing that ever happened to me was blowing out both my knees. Haven’t been able to run in 10 years.
February 23rd, 2012 at 2:05 PM
it’s a weird injury nada. i can do just about anything else…incline treadmill, stair treadmill, elliptical…with no pain. but once in awhile i’ll merely move faster than a walk or be walking the dog, and the pain freezes me up. going to ortho monday to get process started
February 23rd, 2012 at 2:07 PM
Yeah, you’re right.
/dunks on point guard, dangles nuts
February 23rd, 2012 at 2:08 PM
I’ll be eternally jealous of the 5-6 trolls
No, you won’t.
This. I don’t care if they can lift a car over their head, I’ll never be envious of someone who is 9 inches shorter than I am.
February 23rd, 2012 at 2:09 PM
i have taken insanely silly pride in being 6 foot and not 5-11
February 23rd, 2012 at 2:10 PM
Ok, everyone tell us how much you bench.
If the bar = 45, then I’m at 95 pounds. When I used to work out a lot in my mid-20s, I could get maybe 140.
/wishes he could bench his own body weight
//considers it an accomplishment
///would put that on a resume
February 23rd, 2012 at 2:11 PM
I even think it is funny if a guy is shorter than me.
February 23rd, 2012 at 2:13 PM
Am I the only guy here who’s done ‘roids before?
I’m 5’11″ 155, so obviously no residual benefits aesthetically.
February 23rd, 2012 at 2:26 PM
what did you notice htown?
February 23rd, 2012 at 2:57 PM
Same here. Sometimes I’ll just be stepping off a curb, and — whammo.
The worst times are when I’m teeing up the ball and one or both knees give out. Having to ask your golf buddies to help you stand up and you’re not drunk is the most humiliating thing imaginable.
February 23rd, 2012 at 2:57 PM
Great genes on that guy.
February 23rd, 2012 at 2:59 PM
After watching my newphew get jacked up on them in his workout days and become a rage-prone asshole, I will never touch the nasty things.
/ Also anti-testimony to roids: Barry’s giant head and shriveled peen
February 23rd, 2012 at 3:56 PM
he added too much bulk. he can hit like a monster, but he’s too slow to be effective in pass coverage.
February 25th, 2012 at 3:30 PM
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April 3rd, 2012 at 3:21 PM
So just because the guy is jacked means he’s on steroids? LaRon has ALWAYS been built like an action figure. Stop hating.
“Percentage of women that find this attractive? 10% 40%”
Percentage of women who find his bank account attractive? 100%
Talking about the man’s tattoos. Christ. Jealousy is a disgusting trait.