ESPN Took a Harsh Stand With the Max Bretos One Month Suspension
O wall, O sweet, O lovely wall,
That stand’st between her father’s ground and mine!
Though wall, O wall, O sweet and lovely wall,
Show me thy chink to blink through with mine eyne!
- Shakespeare, A Midsummer Night’s Dream (Act V, Scene 1, 174-177)
In A Midsummer Night’s Dream’s final act, the common folk perform their crude farce of a play before Theseus and Hippolyta. Shakespeare uses “chink” twice in this scene. It was written approximately 300 years before the term was used pejoratively. Though, the play has been staged countless times since without causing offense or calls for those lines to be bowdlerized.
We bring up Shakespeare, the language’s master manipulator, not to be pretentious but to make a point he understood better than anyone who has yet written in English. Words are groupings of letters. Their meaning comes from their tone, their timing and their context. Words can mean different things. Words can mean multiple things at once. Words can be different when spoken or written. Once uttered, words can assume a new definition well beyond what their creator intended.
Words are seldom simple, though the Internet invariably treats them as such. While finding a racist (or a witch) fills a noose created by immediate consensus, such serious condemnation should stand the light of cold reason. Looking at Max Bretos’ comment on ESPN, we have a hard time understanding where, precisely, he erred.
“Chink” is a racial slur, which came into use in English-speaking countries during a period of Chinese immigration in the late 19th century. It is odious. It deserves to be treated with the requisite severity. Unlike other words I need not mention, however, “chink” also has multiple, etymologically unrelated uses in English. The word “chink” can be a noun, meaning a crack or opening or the beam of light passing through said opening. It can also be a high-pitched ringing sound, or a verb denoting the striking of objects together to make that sound.
The word is also used in a common idiom, “a chink in someone’s armor,” to describe a weak point or pivotal flaw. It is that last usage that has caused so much trouble. Self-contained, the phrase “a chink in someone’s armor” conveys no racial animosity. Context must make the expression offensive. One could argue the mere presence of a Chinese-American, either in person or as subject matter, loads the phrase with racial malice. Though, there should be firmer grounds for such a serious accusation, a plausible link between idiom “chink” and uppercase, objectionable “Chink.”
By this definition, ESPN’s “Chink in the Armor” headline was offensive. Wordplay is essential to headline writing. It is a forum for wit, puns and double meanings. The intentions may have been innocent, but it was reasonable for the reader to assume, in that context, the “Chink” in the idiom was a reference to Jeremy Lin.
By that same definition, we would question Max Bretos’ suspension. The ESPN anchor asked Knicks analyst Walt Frazier: “if there is a chink in the armor where can Lin improve his game?” Conversational speech deserves greater leeway than premeditated writing. Bretos uses the “chink in the armor” idiom in its correct context. He doesn’t smile, linger over “chink,” or give any indication this was an intentional play on words. Even claiming this was “a Freudian slip” is specious, since that would imply the use of the expression was not in its proper context or there was a subconscious intent for which there is no evidence.
Bretos’ comment was an idiom, neither a slip-up nor a slur. He was trying to glean insight from a basketball analyst, not implying white superiority. This may be ignorance, that Bretos was not sensitive enough to Asian-American racism to consider the hurtful nature of a word he used in a different context, but that’s again leaping without concrete evidence. The most likely explanation is Bretos did not make the connection, because it never crossed his mind to offend anyone.
The WWL earned praise, justifiably, for its professional and contrite handling of the original “Chink in the Armor” headline, but it’s hard to see the month-long suspension of Bretos, four times the length ESPN meted out to Sean Salisbury for disseminating pictures of his penis in the workplace, as anything other than offering a scapegoat to end the story. He is being penalized not for the incident itself, which went unnoticed initially, but for the unfair, viral context it assumed outside his control.
ESPN reacted harshly, emphasizing a zero-tolerance policy against racism. However, the cycle of overreactions have distanced us from what was, to any reasonable observer, an unintended slight. We need an earnest discussion about race in this country. Inflaming tenuous incidents into mortal sins through Internet-induced consensus only bring us further from that point.

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542 Responses to “ESPN Took a Harsh Stand With the Max Bretos One Month Suspension”
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February 20th, 2012 at 12:03 PM
Is this where the discussion of manscaping and work place habits continues?
February 20th, 2012 at 12:04 PM
you did not start with shakespeare
February 20th, 2012 at 12:05 PM
yeah, ms. no razor or tweezer gets near the sack
February 20th, 2012 at 12:05 PM
i came here for the odiousness
February 20th, 2012 at 12:06 PM
I’m just glad that at one point in time, Mark Knopfler was able to get away with the lyrics for Money For Nothing.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:06 PM
My balls are as smooth as eggs.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:06 PM
wow, surprised this is the first ty duffy article i actually agree with and think is well written.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:07 PM
Somewhere in Bristol an ESPN the Internet intern is furiously deleting any evidence of his “Lebron James Gets the Monkey Off His Back” headline he was preparing for this summer.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:07 PM
This is slightly off topic, but as it concerns political correctness, I think it’s still somewhat relevant: MLB has forbidden the Astros from using Colt .45s throwback uniforms that include the colt revolver on them.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:07 PM
Just don’t ask for a cigarette the next time you’re in England.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:08 PM
Also, best Shakespeare play is Hamlet. I’ve also always been a fan of Henry V. The Tempest pisses me off for some reason though.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:09 PM
tomorrow is Taint Trimming Tuesday in the office
February 20th, 2012 at 12:10 PM
those uni’s are so fucking sweet.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:11 PM
Awesome Duffy. Free Max Bretos.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:11 PM
How about if they used a picture of the malt liquor instead?
February 20th, 2012 at 12:11 PM
Love Hamlet and MacBeth, wasn’t crazy about his others.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:11 PM
those uni’s are so fucking sweet.
Yes they are so. They’re so sweet that Selig has decided to take a big dump on them. So we have to put up with a uniform that has a ‘C’ formed from a wisp of smoke that is coming from nowhere apparently.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:12 PM
It really pisses even me off when they blank that word out in the song nowadays while I’m singing along.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:13 PM
Max Bretos existence is offensive. Not his comments.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:14 PM
Bullshit.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:15 PM
Never change, Duffy. Never.Fucking.Change.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:15 PM
Was listening to that (awesome) song this weekend. Wife asked me if the lyrics caused a stir at the time. I couldn’t remember that being the case. The 80s, what a simpler time.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:16 PM
/Yeah buddy, that’s his own hair.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:16 PM
Colt 45 and 2 zig zags, baby that’s all we need.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:16 PM
because if there’s one place where having a firearm on a uniform would be appropriate, it’s Texas.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:20 PM
It’s a great piece, actually. I just love that he opens with Bill Shakespeare.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:20 PM
because if there’s one place where having a firearm on a uniform would be appropriate, it’s Texas.
“I hope you stay tuned as the Texas State marching band does its salute to gun racks and open beverage containers; which is only legal in Texas.”
February 20th, 2012 at 12:20 PM
I think ESPN should have asked Max Bretos’ wife what type of punishment he deserved.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:22 PM
Also, best Shakespeare play is Hamlet. I’ve also always been a fan of Henry V. The Tempest pisses me off for some reason though
taming of the shrew for me
February 20th, 2012 at 12:23 PM
It really pisses even me off when they blank that word out in the song nowadays while I’m singing along.
There’s another line in there that would be quite un-PC today.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:24 PM
I’m sorry, but if someone is going to use the word “Chink” in any discussion of a person of Asian background, that just proves said person is braindead.
Granted, he was using a cliche, an innocent chiche. But to not believe anyone would connect the dots given the subject matter simply shows this guy’s head was up his ass.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:24 PM
bullshit that Shakespeare in Love won best picture over Saving Private Ryan
February 20th, 2012 at 12:25 PM
bullshit that Shakespeare in Love won best picture over Saving Private Ryan
A thousand times THIS.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:25 PM
Was listening to that (awesome) song this weekend. Wife asked me if the lyrics caused a stir at the time. I couldn’t remember that being the case. The 80s, what a simpler time.
worst song on the album, andthe start of their decline. ride across the river and man’s too strong are best. every straits song after this album sounded like money for nothing because of the success. happened to zz top and tom petty and i’m missing others i’m sure
fucking success
February 20th, 2012 at 12:25 PM
Dude wrote a whole bunch of sonnets.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:25 PM
bullshit that Shakespeare in Love won best picture over Saving Private Ryan
A thousand times THIS.
paltrow >> hanks
February 20th, 2012 at 12:25 PM
I just wish Duffy wouldn’t start his sentences with “though,”.
Reads much better like this:
Great use of “bowdlerized”, though.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:25 PM
first? You must not be a daily reader. there’s a reason SI named him one of the best young sports voices on the web.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:26 PM
/bangs bongos like a chimpanzee
//Dr. Zaius
///Dr. Zaius
////Ohhhh
/////Dr. Zaius
February 20th, 2012 at 12:26 PM
That and Shawshank getting screwed by Forrest Gump are two of the biggest screw jobs of all time.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:26 PM
hanks has bigger titties.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:26 PM
Colt 45 and 2 zig zags, baby that’s all we need.
muhfucking crazy horse’ll do
February 20th, 2012 at 12:26 PM
Then why use them?
If there is any place where pistols are politically correct, it’s Texas.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:27 PM
At least he wasn’t trying to shamelessly profit off his name, like those people who registered website names
/bot not TBL
//and DEFINITELY not ESPN
February 20th, 2012 at 12:27 PM
Just say Deitsch. When you say SI it sounds like some blue ribbon panel was commissioned. Having said that, it’s only a matter of time until Duffy is off to bigger and brighter things.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:28 PM
The best movie that year wasn’t even nominated.
Team curb stomp.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:28 PM
SI
NO
February 20th, 2012 at 12:29 PM
Also, great article, Duffy. Bravo!
Bretos uses the “chink in the armor” idiom in its correct context. He doesn’t smile, linger over “chink,” or give any indication this was an intentional play on words.
Problem is that this was a knee jerk reaction by ESPN.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:29 PM
paltrow >> hanks
In terms of celebrities I’d like to have sex with, yes. In terms of acting, then no.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:29 PM
SPR got the biggest screw job in Oscar history. Social Network was No. 2. And whoever loses to The Artist this year should probably be on this list.
But good write-up Duffy. The contrast between his suspension for a completely non-racial idiom to Salsbury’s cock shots should be enough for anyone to see through this charade. Shit, if Jeremy Lin was an average player and Bretos said this, he wouldn’t have been suspended.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:29 PM
I agree.
/not a writer…math degree.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:30 PM
I’m going to have to go “no” on both fronts.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:30 PM
Because Lisk is too old?
February 20th, 2012 at 12:30 PM
I’m going to have to go “no” on both fronts.
Well if those were the only two celebrities you had a choice of, then I’d imagine you’d agree.
As for the latter: agree to disagree. Though Paltrow was good in Se7en.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:31 PM
A Shakespeare quote, racism, AND a qualifier about how it’s not intended to be pretentious… talk about a slam dunk for Duffy.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:31 PM
In terms of celebrities I’d like to have sex with, yes. In terms of acting, then no.
i’ll trust that our intimate relationship leads you to know what i meant
February 20th, 2012 at 12:32 PM
i’ll trust that our intimate relationship leads you to know what i meant
/unsure of how to respond
February 20th, 2012 at 12:32 PM
We’re parents, suck our dicks!
February 20th, 2012 at 12:32 PM
Coop?
February 20th, 2012 at 12:32 PM
1994 (Oscars were held in 1995) was a great year in film, by the way.
-Pulp Fiction
-Shawshank
-Forrest Gump
-Clear and Present Danger
-Legends of the Fall
-Maverick
-The Client
-Four Weddings and a Funeral
-Quiz Show
-Speed
-Little Women
-Ed Wood
February 20th, 2012 at 12:32 PM
You realize that an entire year’s worth of movies lost to Gladiator, right? A movie that used a Kid Rock song in the trailer?
February 20th, 2012 at 12:33 PM
/unsure of how to respond
the blush said it all
February 20th, 2012 at 12:33 PM
Yes, behind Montreal.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:34 PM
any fans of the remington steele flick ‘Matador’?
find it you will like it
February 20th, 2012 at 12:34 PM
1994 (Oscars were held in 1995) was a great year in film, by the way.
That’s a pretty awesome lineup.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:34 PM
Absolutely loved it.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:35 PM
-Pulp Fiction
-Shawshank
-Forrest Gump
-Clear and Present Danger
-Legends of the Fall
-Maverick
-The Client
-Four Weddings and a Funeral
-Quiz Show
-Speed
-Little Women
-Ed Wood
I like a good action movie as much as anyone else, but let’s not pretend that these two have any business being in the list with the rest of those. The Client is even pushing it a little, though Tommy Lee Jones is great as the U.S. Attorney.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:36 PM
A month? Really? For what? Racism? Does ESPN even monitor their own product? ‘Chink in the armor’ is a phrase and not a racist one…God, if they wanted to suspend people for being racist Jemele Hill looks like a good one to start with.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:36 PM
mole, howabout the nolte joing the good thief? another grizzled veteran
February 20th, 2012 at 12:36 PM
joint, nolte joint
February 20th, 2012 at 12:37 PM
Say what, now?
February 20th, 2012 at 12:37 PM
I saw this movie about a bus that had to SPEED around a city, keeping its SPEED over fifty, and if its SPEED dropped, it would explode! I think it was called ‘The Bus That Couldn’t Slow Down’.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:37 PM
I’d probably also take Forrest Gump out of that list. It’s a fine movie, but a little too saccharine, in my opinion, to be considered ‘great’.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:37 PM
They were great action movies, though. That’s a rarity in today’s movie world.
Re: Gladiator
Traffic got robbed in that one.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:38 PM
I like a good action movie as much as anyone else, but let’s not pretend that these two have any business being in the list with the rest of those.
“Shoot the hostage. Take her out of the equation. Go for the good wound and he can’t get to the plane with her. Clear shot.”
February 20th, 2012 at 12:38 PM
I enjoyed Maverick.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:38 PM
good for TyDuffy, guess i’m missing where that changes my opinion.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:38 PM
what about the fool who typed the headline into the prompter (or as bretos reading from a piece of paper?) again, if it was on a prompter, what was he to do at that moment? pause awkwardly after a lightning quick ethical self-check?
maybe maybe not, but someone typed it in to be read by him
February 20th, 2012 at 12:38 PM
Traffic got robbed in that one.
Saw Traffic on Showtime, I think, recently. It holds up really well.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:39 PM
The alien has appeared in the Springfield Forest for the last two Friday nights. Will it appear again this Friday? The entire Channel 6 News Team will be there, except for Bill, the boom mike operator, who’s getting fired tomorrow.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:39 PM
I went down the list of nominated movies and picked out those. That’s a solid staple of movies, especially compared to what we’ll see this year.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:39 PM
It’s an iconic movie though…probably just outside the top 5 heist movies, though.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:39 PM
Say what, now?
I enjoyed Maverick.
And I enjoyed Legends of the Fall.
/no homo
February 20th, 2012 at 12:39 PM
Traffic
..or Blow…who ya got?
February 20th, 2012 at 12:40 PM
I will win the crowd. I will give them something they’ve never seen before. You know, if they haven’t seen Braveheart.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:40 PM
12 year old me used to masturbate furiously to Sandra Bullock in Speed. Annie could get it, ill-fitting mid 90′s clothing not-withstanding.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:40 PM
yeah, gladiator was an awesome movie, very fun to watch. seeing it again for the first time in about 8 years last week was a bit jarring. wasn’t nearly as good as i remember it outside of the fighting scenes.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:40 PM
Gladiator has become a movie that’s fun to bash of late, but it was a deserving Best Picture winner. It’s a damn good movie.
I’d say the following are undeserved BP winners, where there was clearly a better nominated option passed over for whatever reason:
2005 – Crash (Brokeback)
1998 – Shakespeare in Love (SPR)
2010 – The King’s Speech (Social Network)
2002 – Chicago (Gangs of NY)
2001 – Beautiful Mind (Fellowship)
1996 – English Patient (Fargo)
1990 – Dances With Wolves (Goodfellas)
1981 – Chariots of Fire (Raiders of the Lost Ark)
Slumdog was terrible but so were most of the nominees. Apollo 13 should have beaten Braveheart, but no problem with it winning. Same with Gump. Christ 1994 was stacked.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:40 PM
Traffic. All day, every day.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:40 PM
It’s an iconic movie though…probably just outside the top 5 heist movies, though.
It’s as iconic as two people having a staged kiss during a riot in Vancouver.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:41 PM
Traffic
..or Blow…who ya got?
Traffic. Blow is entertaining, but Traffic is profound.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:42 PM
Saw the RSC do this in Stratford in the fall of 1986, with Pete Postletwaite as Puck. It may be the single funniest thing I have ever seen, on stage, in film, anywhere. The crowd was literally falling out of its chairs with laughter.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:42 PM
I think Traffic is a much better movie in almost every aspect.
I agree with all of these. If only you hadn’t of said Gladiator deserved it ahead of Traffic.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:42 PM
The Patriot was a bigger ripoff of Braveheart than Gladiator. At least Gladiator has a different lead.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:42 PM
tom hanks could do no wrong between 1993 and 1995-ish. the downside is he appears to be done with good comedic roles.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:42 PM
Good stuff Duffy, well done.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:42 PM
That’s probably the worst of them all.
I think Titanic winning over LA Confidential was fucking crazy.
Crouching Tiger, Wonderboys, Traffic, and Requiem for a Dream were all better movies than Gladiator.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:44 PM
2010 – The King’s Speech (Social Network)
I think we’re still too close to that Awards year to make that judgment. King’s Speech has some excellent acting and is a great story. As much as I like The Social Network, if you watch more than once, the ‘Aaron Sorkin formulaic approach to screenwriting’ becomes more obvious. Still great, but that aspect annoys me a little after awhile.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:44 PM
Can’t believe Minority Report wasn’t even nominated. For shame. In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:44 PM
The Patriot was a bigger ripoff of Braveheart than Gladiator. At least Gladiator has a different lead.
Had Gibson died at the end instead of using the old “bait and jab this fiery bayonnette” into your neck, it would have been a carbon copy. Minus the raping of Scottish women, of course.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:45 PM
The King’s Speech sucks all the dicks.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:45 PM
The worst Best Picture winner will always be How Green Was My Valley, simply because it beat out Citizen Kane (i.e. the best movie ever made).
Others on the worst list would include The Greatest Show on Earth (beat out Singin’ in the Rain), My Fair Lady (beat out Dr. Strangelove and A Hard Day’s Night) and Gladiator (becaue it’s simply a crappy film).
February 20th, 2012 at 12:45 PM
I think Titanic winning over LA Confidential was fucking crazy.
That would get my vote. LA Confidential still holds up. One of my favorite movies, and I generally dislike anything Russell Crowe does.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:46 PM
Oh also Best in Show should have been nominated the year Gladiator won.
If you take that crop of movies and put it ahead ten years there is zero chance that something other than O Brother wins, though.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:46 PM
I liked it, but I thought The Social Network was much better, and I went into the TSN thinking it was going to suck a bag of dicks.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:46 PM
Wonderboys,
Great, great movie. Robert Downey Jr. might have stolen it if he had more screen time.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:46 PM
yeah, gladiator was an awesome movie, very fun to watch. seeing it again for the first time in about 8 years last week was a bit jarring. wasn’t nearly as good as i remember it outside of the fighting scenes
the sister is hot, and i enjoy joaquin’s sniveling incestual performance
February 20th, 2012 at 12:47 PM
i liked it. which is strange, cause i hate mostly British casts.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:47 PM
OH I’M SORRY DID LAWRENCE OF ARABIA AND M SUDDENLY DISAPPEAR?
February 20th, 2012 at 12:48 PM
The ending of the Kings Speech was pretty fucking anti-climatic. Ohh.. look, he’s talking into a microphone in a closet! How brave!
February 20th, 2012 at 12:48 PM
The King’s Speech sucks all the dicks.
I say ‘Good Day, sir!’
/storms off
February 20th, 2012 at 12:48 PM
first? You must not be a daily reader. there’s a reason SI named him one of the best young sports voices on the web.
pabst beer also won a blue ribbon once. Once.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:48 PM
Like Gladiator, I can only take Legends if I view it as a comedy. I’d put those two near the bottom of the career lists for Ridley Scott and Edward Zwick.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:48 PM
Amadeus beating out The Killing Fields is also a head scratcher for me.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:48 PM
I think Million Dollar Baby was the worst Best Picture winner of the last 10 years, and I’m not sure it’s particularly close.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:49 PM
Crouching Tiger, Wonderboys, Traffic, and Requiem for a Dream were all better movies than Gladiator.
not usre about wonderboys (never saw it but agree with the rest. crouching tiger taught me how beautiful china is geographically.
i think i have no problem with a good old slobberknocker of a movie entertainment wise beating more artsy movies tho. none at all
February 20th, 2012 at 12:49 PM
/fist bump
February 20th, 2012 at 12:49 PM
Both are great, great movies. Neither redefined the visual language of cinema the way Kane did.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:49 PM
Amadeus beating out The Killing Fields is also a head scratcher for me.
Amadeus is kind of amusing for the fact that Pinto is in it and his wife has the most obvious California accent in the history of big budget period piece films.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:49 PM
You know, I give Ed Zwick a lot of shit, but I loved Blood Diamond, against all odds. Except for the bling bling, bang bang line. How that made it past the first draft is boggling.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:50 PM
Minus the raping of Scottish women, of course.
Rob roy was robbed roy
February 20th, 2012 at 12:50 PM
gangs of NY wasn’t that good outside of Daniel Day Lewis, highly overrated.
The Pianist should have been best picture that year.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:50 PM
Nothing beats Crash
February 20th, 2012 at 12:50 PM
most obvious California accent
Californians have accents?
/waits for Arnold joke
February 20th, 2012 at 12:50 PM
best movie laugh, ever. besides Axl Foley’s.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:50 PM
Raging Bull, which I found very “meh,” after being told how great it was for 10 years, losing out to Ordinary People is usually one people complain about. Having not seen Ordinary People I can’t say one way or the other.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:51 PM
I saw Amadeus for the first time this summer. I had thought it was RDJ in it and not the kid from Animal House for all these years.
Immortal Beloved > Amadeus.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:51 PM
the biggest travesty ever was A Beautiful Mind beating the first LOTR movie. that movie was so stupid, while the latter was so great.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:51 PM
This. I like Gangs but DDL carries it. Gangs of NY is the Dark Knight of heist films.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:51 PM
The Pianist should have been best picture that year.
Maybe if it hadn’t been made by a pederast it would have.
/still like Roman Polanski
//for his film talent, that is
February 20th, 2012 at 12:51 PM
Except for all those plays he fronted for Oxford.
/ Derek Jacobi’d
February 20th, 2012 at 12:51 PM
Get out.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:52 PM
I think Traffic is a better movie. But I don’t think it’s so much better than Gladiator that the latter counts as an undeserving winner. same with Amadeus, which is quite good.
I can’t get upset about LA Confidential, which is my all time favorite movie, not winning. Titanic wasn’t undeserving, IMO.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:52 PM
gangs of NY wasn’t that good outside of Daniel Day Lewis, highly overrated.
cameron diaz brought that movie down a few notches. she’s insufferable.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:52 PM
Both are manipulative, conscience-by-numbers tripe, from the mind of Walker, Texas Ranger’s patron saint. Gods be good.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:53 PM
Out of Africa over Color Purple. I haven’t watched the Oscars since (not even the Halle/Denzel year).
February 20th, 2012 at 12:53 PM
I also preferred Scent of a Woman over Unforgiven, even though Unforgiven was badass.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:53 PM
this.
Citizen Kane changed the way movies were filmed, technically and artistically.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:53 PM
Titanic wasn’t undeserving, IMO.
yes it was. the screenplay sucked. dialogue in that movie is beyond cheesy/horrible.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:53 PM
Neither redefined the visual language of cinema the way Kane did.
i student taught in 2004, and one of the classes i had was cinema. hs juniors/seniors. during citizen kane, i realized that the white stripes Union Forever was all about Kane, so I brought it in to play for the mopes. instant cool teacher
/teaching english sucked so i stopped
February 20th, 2012 at 12:53 PM
I saw the Always Sunny episode with the Million Dollar Baby parody before I saw Million Dollar Baby. Needless to say, when I saw it, I laughed my ass off.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:54 PM
cameron diaz brought that movie down a few notches. she’s insufferable.
I like Gangs, but this is true. After Bad Teacher came out, one review said that it was a reminder that Cameron Diaz really has no business being in serious, dramatic roles.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:54 PM
I would’ve voted for In the Bedroom, but I know better than to tangle with the holy trilogy.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:54 PM
Not only that, they finally gave the Oscar to the weakest of the three LOTR movies in a makeup move. Return of the King beat out the far more deserving Master and Commander.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:54 PM
What do you mean Jack? Jack why dont you like the dialogue?
February 20th, 2012 at 12:55 PM
American Beauty winning over The Insider still gives me the red ass. Now that’s a picture!
February 20th, 2012 at 12:55 PM
I also preferred Scent of a Woman over Unforgiven, even though Unforgiven was badass.
Scent is fine, but it’s basically Al Pacino carrying that movie in his last role that wasn’t completely over the top. Unforgiven is fantastic in every way imaginable. It was a successful western at a time when westerns were horribly out of style in Hollywood and at the box office.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:55 PM
After seeing Bad Teacher I’m not sure comedy’s her bag either
February 20th, 2012 at 12:55 PM
Rocky over Taxi Driver. horrible
February 20th, 2012 at 12:55 PM
What do you mean Jack? Jack why dont you like the dialogue?
Rose! Where are you Rose?! Are you okay Rose?! Your name is Rose, isn’t it Rose?! Rose where did you put the Roses?!
/shoots self
February 20th, 2012 at 12:56 PM
Scent of a Woman
i had the twitches for a whiskey on ice the whole time i watched it
February 20th, 2012 at 12:56 PM
I always use this argument when defending Annie Hall over Star Wars.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:56 PM
It wasnt great, but it wasn’t killer, either. Titanic is everything the academy will vote for — spectacle, popularity, scale, love story, history, and Bill Zane. It would have been a travesty if that movie hadn’t won, frankly, even though LA Confidential was a better movie.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:56 PM
“One of Honk, please.”
Ah yes the start of Crowe’s “hey I’m going to gain eighty pounds for this role no matter what” phase.
That movie was horrendous. Aside from giving us the hilarious “THAT’S MISTER WALLACE” line.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:57 PM
Unforgiven still stands the test of time as being one of the best of its genre, which is the mark of a true best picture winner.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:57 PM
for Honk*
damnit
February 20th, 2012 at 12:58 PM
I liked 3:10 to Yuma a whole lot more than Unforgiven.
/ducks
February 20th, 2012 at 12:58 PM
Rocky over Taxi Driver. horrible
i could kiss you but you don’t have to kiss me (gaze at my armpit hair!)
February 20th, 2012 at 12:58 PM
I would’ve voted for In the Bedroom, but I know better than to tangle with the holy trilogy.
I would be far less disgusted with that movie winning. That was a great movie. A Beautiful Mind was just Ron Howard’s bullshit (although I honestly loved the boxing one).
February 20th, 2012 at 12:58 PM
i am with ya.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:58 PM
I never understand this argument. I think Citizen Kane is a good movie, but you have to isolate it from it’s innovations.
The guy who was the first to use the forward pass in football is not the best QB.
/my argument might not make sense
February 20th, 2012 at 12:59 PM
One of Pacino’s worst performances.
This fell into the makeup category, as with Henry Fonda for On Golden Pond, Jimmy Stewart for The Philadelphia Story, Jack Lemmon for Save the Tiger, Paul Newman for The Color of Money … all gave far greater performances in other films but didn’t win.
February 20th, 2012 at 12:59 PM
I can’t go this far.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:00 PM
To me, the win really has to be egregious (Crash, Beautiful Mind, Shakespeare) over the nominated films to make my list. Shit, outside of SPR I dont know that there is a Best Picture winner in the last 15 years that I would have chosen had I submitted a ballot.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:00 PM
Rocky over Taxi Driver. horrible
with each successive Rocky sequel, the original Rocky just became that much worse. That’s 5 godawful, utterly unbelievable Sylvester Stallone movies with the same title that i’ve seen, and one that I haven’t.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:00 PM
I see you’ve taken Spencer’s hyperbole class.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:00 PM
There are some great acting back and forths between Bale and Crowe in that one. But how you can say The Insider is horrendous is baffling.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:00 PM
One of Pacino’s worst performances.
Disagree. It’s not his greatest either, but his worst would basically be a tie for anything he’s done in the last 12+ years.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:01 PM
scorcese is a fine director who, in the past 10 years or so, has relied so heavily on star power for his movies, they are easily overrated. especially when it comes to a crime drama.
i like the departed, but all the flaws in that movie are present in gangs of new york but are covered up and overlooked by the violence, smooth directing and acting of daniel day lewis carrying the film over the lesser talents in cameron diaz and dicaprio (he’s gotten much better since then)
February 20th, 2012 at 1:01 PM
The guy who was the first to use the forward pass in football is not the best QB.
/my argument might not make sense
the peanut butter George Washington Carver made by smashing peanuts probably tastes like ass compared to the inside of a Reese’s peanut butter cup.
/i’m recycling that from my Beatles material
February 20th, 2012 at 1:01 PM
2008 had a strong Best Picture group.
No Country for Old Men (winner)
Juno
Atonement
There Will be Blood
Michael Clayton
February 20th, 2012 at 1:01 PM
Titanic is everything the academy will vote for — spectacle, popularity, scale, love story, history, and Bill Zane.
you forgot crushing marketing budget
February 20th, 2012 at 1:02 PM
I liked 3:10 to Yuma a whole lot more than Unforgiven.
There are some great acting back and forths between Bale and Crowe in that one.
I was assuming he meant the original version
February 20th, 2012 at 1:02 PM
Hugo is supposed to be excellent. I really want to see it.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:02 PM
2008 had a strong Best Picture group.
I hated Juno. There will be Blood was the best ending, ever.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:02 PM
What stands out about Kane is not only its technical breakthroughs, but also the performances, the script, the non-linear chronology … and the fact it’s damn entertaining, and often quite funny.
It’s in the my top 5 all-time list, along with Seven Samurai, A Hard Day’s Night, Shaun of the Dead and Woody Allen’s Love and Death.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:03 PM
Just felt horribly ham fisted to me. And boring.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:03 PM
I laughed. I actually never noticed that until you mentioned it.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:04 PM
So I’m guessing you are:
white
raised upper middle class
graduated with a minor in accounting
February 20th, 2012 at 1:04 PM
Really? I loved the writing in Juno and the girl (whose name escapes me) was great in it.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:04 PM
juno?
February 20th, 2012 at 1:04 PM
Disagree. It’s not his greatest either, but his worst would basically be a tie for anything he’s done in the last 12+ years.
his standout worst is either Any Given Sunday or the one where he’s the handicapper handler with the gambling problem and the postage stamp.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:04 PM
3:10 to Yuma is a seriously underrated movie.
Agree for the most part about Scorcese. Infernal Affairs was actually better than The Departed, but Shutter Island was a pretty slick little modern B-movie. That wasn’t an easy book adaptation but he did well capturing the vibe.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:05 PM
HOLY SHIT
February 20th, 2012 at 1:05 PM
Boring, I could see. When it first came out I was 16 and working as an usher as a movie theater, smoking weed in the parking lot and sticking my head into the freezer after they’d just cleaned it to get high on the bleach fumes. Back then all I wanted was to see that brillo head stick his dick in the pie and Keanu Reeves dodge bullets. Then…I went to college and became a journalism dork and I saw it in a whole new light.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:05 PM
Leo is a patient.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:06 PM
Haven’t even brought up 1975 and Jaws. That remains far and away a better movie than anything else that came out that year, and that includes Cuckoo’s Nest and Nashville.
1999 was another bad year. American Beauty was a topical winner, and as such has dated badly. Much, much better were The Straight Story and Blair Witch.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:06 PM
I thought the dialogue was great. And coming from a hater of The Insider, I take your opinion with a grain of salt.
/high fives Bsanders
February 20th, 2012 at 1:06 PM
ellen page is better in hard candy than juno. michael cera is annoying as fuck, and we all just wanted to see the writer diablo cody naked
February 20th, 2012 at 1:06 PM
the innovations in citizen kane can’t be separated from the movie the same way 3d in avatar can.
the movie, if not shot the way it was, would have been average at best.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:07 PM
I disagree. Cuckoo’s Nest was fantastic.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:07 PM
Really? I loved the writing in Juno and the girl (whose name escapes me) was great in it.
Ellen Page. I thought you had a huge crush on her? Or was that another commenter.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:07 PM
OK, here’s some questions.
Best movie starring Keanu Reeves?
Movie you pretend you’ve seen, but haven’t?
Most pretentious movie you call your favorite (nada already called 7 Samurai)?
Movie you’ve never seen the beginning of?
Movie with naked women in it that you tried to get your wife to watch?
Movie you hate the most that other people say is great (non star wars).
Anybody can answer.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:07 PM
Not me, though I’d totally take her to pound town.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:07 PM
Atonement stunk, and Juno, while much better than anyone wants to admit, wasn’t one of the five best movies of the year. My opinion on TWBB changes every year. Sometimes I hate it, sometimes I think it’s fantastic. Since No Country was a career award.
I would have picked Michael Clayton. I’m sure I’m the minority on that.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:07 PM
Yeah I saw it in high school too. I think it was a hard movie to sell to people, which is evidenced by the fact that they had to kind of gussy up the real story to make it interesting anyway.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:07 PM
Shit, if you lived in suburban Minneapolis around the turn of the century it would have only cost you a cover fee.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:08 PM
He is no Francois Dillinger.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:08 PM
The Matrix
Raging Bull
February 20th, 2012 at 1:09 PM
Most pretentious movie you call your favorite (nada already called 7 Samurai)?
If the category is horror films, then I’ll say Nosferatu.
/punches ticket for Pretentiousville.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:09 PM
Easily the most unrealistic high school student dialog ever written in a decent movie and a prime example of how obscure references and in-jokes have pushed out actual comedy.
/looking at you Community
February 20th, 2012 at 1:10 PM
Ellen Page? Who I also thought was really good in Inception.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:10 PM
great film, i rank it up there with Open Range in terms of westerns
February 20th, 2012 at 1:10 PM
Blair Witch.
barely beats out The Descent and Paranormal Activity for best pic upon first viewing but not so great afterward. The Descent holds up better than either on multiple watchings
February 20th, 2012 at 1:10 PM
Let’s apply this elsewhere …
Dark Side of the Moon, if not recorded the way it was, would have been average at best.
Pulp Fiction, if not shot the way it was, would have been average at best.
“Guernica,” if not painted the way it was, would have been average at best.
I agree. The point being, you cannot sever a work of art from its style, because the style is part of what makes it a work of art.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:11 PM
Best movie starring Keanu Reeves? My Own Private Idaho
Movie you pretend you’ve seen, but haven’t? Manhattan
Most pretentious movie you call your favorite (nada already called 7 Samurai)? Yojimbo
Movie you’ve never seen the beginning of? Lethal Weapon 4
Movie with naked women in it that you tried to get your wife to watch? No wife, but tried to get many GF’s to watch Brotherhood of the Wolf
Movie you hate the most that other people say is great (non star wars). Million Dollar Baby
February 20th, 2012 at 1:11 PM
I view Juno like I view Dogma. One of her movies is like one of Kevin Smith’s movies in that I can’t handle many of them. The first one you see is always the one you like the most. I assume the dialogue is very similar in all of Cody’s movies just like it is in every single Smith movie. Had I seen Clerks before Dogma perhaps I’d like it more than I do Dogma. Really, outside of Mallrats and Dogma every Smith movie is white noise (though I have not seen Chasing Amy, which everyone tells me is great).
February 20th, 2012 at 1:11 PM
Who I also thought was really good in Inception.
was her character written as a mousy, out of place child whose role in the movie was utterly nebulous? If so, she really sold me.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:11 PM
Best movie starring Keanu Reeves? Point Break
Movie you pretend you’ve seen, but haven’t? people do this?
Movie you hate the most that other people say is great (non star wars). Zoolander
February 20th, 2012 at 1:11 PM
She seemed completely out of place in that film.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:11 PM
Best movie starring Keanu Reeves?
Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:11 PM
Matrix
Any of the LOTRs
Shawshank
Boogie Nights
No Country for Old Men
February 20th, 2012 at 1:11 PM
Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure.
Citizen Kane.
Waking Life
ET
February 20th, 2012 at 1:12 PM
1. The Matrix
2. Citizen Kane
3. Thin Red Line
4. Cant think of anything
5. Eyes Wide Shut
6. Lost in Translation, 2001
February 20th, 2012 at 1:12 PM
For me, Blair Witch is one of those movies that gets better every time I see it, like Lebowski.
I fell asleep watching The Descent.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:12 PM
I used to own this movie. Was always a fan of it.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:13 PM
Such a cool movie. Mother fucking bone-chain-sword.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:13 PM
I agree that if it was not shot the way it was, it would have been a different film. Argue that it made it great, but don’t say it was the best because it changed how people made movies.
Avatar is a good example. It is a movie that ushered in a new wave of cinema (mostly bad so far)…but that doesn’t make it a great movie.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:13 PM
Maybe I’m blinded by the fact that I really enjoyed the movie. Well, I pretty much enjoy everything Chris Nolan does. Can’t wait for Dark Knight Rises, by the way.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:13 PM
high five!
February 20th, 2012 at 1:14 PM
Have you ever watched it? I can’t fathom how anyone could apply the word “pretentious” to
. It is, first a foremost, a great action flick.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:14 PM
I will do it to get out of seeing a movie.
“Oh man have you seen Crash? We should watch it if you haven’t.”
“Yeah I saw it.”
Perfect example.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:15 PM
I thought Young Adult was great. Dark as shit, and much less gimmicky. Plus, Charlize.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:15 PM
bridge over the river kwai
February 20th, 2012 at 1:15 PM
Be prepared for several, “Nolan sucks and The Dark Knight was crap” comments.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:15 PM
Have you ever watched it? I can’t fathom how anyone could apply the word “pretentious” to
Seven Samurai
. It is, first a foremost, a great action flick.
It’s not a pretentious movie, it’s a pretentious move to list it among your five favorites of ever, especially first, like you did.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:16 PM
I want to see this and haven’t yet. Charlize is top-5 for me. Just stunning.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:16 PM
Speed. Everyone will say The Matrix, so I wanna do something different.
Braveheart
Sideways
No idea
Black Swan
The Godfather
February 20th, 2012 at 1:16 PM
“Classic great movies you hate that everyone else loves” would be a 1000-comment post, no question.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:16 PM
I’ll add a question: movie which was going to be made but never did for some reason or movie which you most wish could have been/should be made.
I’ll go with Stanley Kubrick’s Napolean project.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:16 PM
bridge over the river kwai
that is one great movie.
/pinkie in the air
February 20th, 2012 at 1:16 PM
High Five
/team blonde
February 20th, 2012 at 1:17 PM
The Godfather
You hated Godfather? Not enough argyle?
February 20th, 2012 at 1:17 PM
What about your top guilty pleasures? Transformers: The Movie is easily my number one. Mortal Kombat would be in the my top-5.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:17 PM
Well, you got one out of three, and even on that one you’re a bit off the mark.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:17 PM
Brotherhood of the Wolf
+1
February 20th, 2012 at 1:17 PM
Speed. Everyone will say The Matrix, so I wanna do something different.
see, I would say The River’s Edge. I’m surprised nobody trotted out Point Break.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:17 PM
bridge over the river kwai
Until a couple of years ago, that was a movie that I pretended that I had seen when in fact I had not.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:17 PM
Great choice.
The Man Who Killed Don Quixote
February 20th, 2012 at 1:18 PM
i don’t think Nolan sucks. but liked Batman Begins more. except for Katie Holmes.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:18 PM
Kate Upton: All Tits, All Ass, All the Time
February 20th, 2012 at 1:18 PM
I’m hoping this one gets there. Good, interesting stuff.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:18 PM
I won’t go so far as to say either of these, but I think it’s good, certainly not as good as it’s celebrated to be. Give me Burton’s original, any day. Though Heath Ledger was the shit.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:19 PM
What about your top guilty pleasures?
like putting frosted flakes into vanilla ice cream? Or movies?
I’ll watch the 13th Warrior every day.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:19 PM
The Dark Knight was great fun. Memento was overrated.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:19 PM
Just thought it was massively overrated by the time I saw it. Plus, it was impossible for me to understand Brando when he talks like he’s got shit in his mouth the whole movie.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:19 PM
Give me Burton’s original, any day.
That movie introduced 6 year old me to the concept of ‘campiness’.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:19 PM
Good call.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:19 PM
I thought The Graduate was boring as all get out
February 20th, 2012 at 1:19 PM
+1
February 20th, 2012 at 1:19 PM
Eyes Wide Shut
the psychology of her telling him about the naval officer was brutal and true. a guy does not want his woman to be turned to jelly by any other guy, regardless of whether she actually cheated
February 20th, 2012 at 1:19 PM
Cruel Intentions. I must’ve watched that thing 100 times when I was in high school. I could also say Red Heat. RASTA! VIKTOR RASTA!
February 20th, 2012 at 1:20 PM
King’s speech and star wars would be in there if available for answer.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:20 PM
The Big Hit
February 20th, 2012 at 1:20 PM
What about your top guilty pleasures?
It’s not my ‘top’ guilty pleasure, but for reasons I can’t explain, I like Proof of Life.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:20 PM
Man…I’ve never heard someone speak ill of The Godfather. Strange.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:20 PM
Good pick, Little Brother.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:20 PM
Until a couple of years ago, that was a movie that I pretended that I had seen when in fact I had not.
me too. But it’s good.
Now go watch the Seventh Seal. There is no more pretentious movie to list among your favorites.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:20 PM
Worth it only for Kidman and her fine, fine sit-upon.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:21 PM
justlike the90s one-hit ownder thread, this movie thread is headed for 500 comments. folks dig the pop culture
/obvious troll
February 20th, 2012 at 1:21 PM
Frank Darabont’s Indy 4 script
Unbreakable sequel
Mark Millar’s Superman trilogy idea (ends with Superman being the last person on earth as the sun dies)
February 20th, 2012 at 1:21 PM
Holy shit this.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:22 PM
Memento was overrated.
really? watch it again. That movie is the absolute tits the second time.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:22 PM
Guilty Pleasure flicks:
Commando
Tango and Cash
Bloodsport
Cliffhanger
February 20th, 2012 at 1:22 PM
I’d also add Assassins to my guilty pleasure list. I always wonder if they’re some secret secure web site where hit men gather to get their next assignment.
/To day, I become NUMBER ONE
February 20th, 2012 at 1:22 PM
For me, Blair Witch is one of those movies that gets better every time I see it, like Lebowski.
I fell asleep watching The Descent.
you are bored and wanting a fight
February 20th, 2012 at 1:22 PM
I like that.
I wish a Kingdom Come movie would get made.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:22 PM
Guilty Pleasure flicks:
Commando
Tango and Cash
Solid choices.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:22 PM
Someone listed The Shawshank Redemption as a movie they have never seen the beginning of?
So you don’t know if Andy is guilty or his lawyer fucked him?
February 20th, 2012 at 1:23 PM
That’s because we had a simpler-minded president at the time.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:23 PM
He doesn’t know how to use the three sea shells…
February 20th, 2012 at 1:23 PM
What about your top guilty pleasures?
Road House
February 20th, 2012 at 1:24 PM
Bio Dome
February 20th, 2012 at 1:24 PM
Winner.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:24 PM
Guilty pleasure flicks:
Dark City
Heist
Matrix Reloaded
Bad Lieutenant (Cage)
February 20th, 2012 at 1:24 PM
This is one I just don’t get the love for. It’s an OK movie. I’ve seen it once, and that was enough. And the scene where Andy plays opera and all the inmates are just enraptured is one of the most ridiculous I’ve ever seen.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:24 PM
Just stunning.
especially in monster
did she win BA for that?
February 20th, 2012 at 1:25 PM
He doesn’t know how to use the three sea shells…
that’s my favorite Stallone movie.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:25 PM
Bad Boys 2 was on HBO this weekend…I watched it.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:25 PM
I think you need a time out.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:26 PM
He doesn’t know how to use the three sea shells…
That might have been the last time Rob Schneider was funny.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:26 PM
Bad Boys 2 was on HBO this weekend…I watched it.
you ain’t seen bad boys 2?
February 20th, 2012 at 1:26 PM
Heist as a guilty pleasure?!
If you’re talking the David Mamet-Gene Hackman movie, therre’s no reason to feel guilty. That’s one of the greatest crime flicks ever. And if you like it, check out Mamet’s House of Games. Ricky Jay kills in both.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:27 PM
When you think about how much money they spent making that thing, wow…
February 20th, 2012 at 1:27 PM
And the scene where Andy plays opera and all the inmates are just enraptured is one of the most ridiculous I’ve ever seen.
I’ve never watched that scene and felt like it was overly contrived. Agree to disagree I suppose.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:27 PM
John Spartan, you are fined five credits for repeated violations of the verbal morality statute.
One of my favorite films. It helps that my Dad took me to see it in theaters when I was 8.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:27 PM
Memento was overrated.
and as confusing as the magna carta
February 20th, 2012 at 1:27 PM
This is one I just don’t get the love for. It’s an OK movie.
of the Stephen King movies, it’s not as good as Stand by Me. But it’s just a Stephen King movie. It’s good though.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:27 PM
Better movie than The Matrix.
Proud owner of the Bad Boys II DVD.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:28 PM
Bad Boys 2 was an unforgivable omission from my GP list.
“How old is you?
18 sir.
Nigga you at least 30.”
That scene gets me every fucking time.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:28 PM
My favorite guilty pleasure movie might be The Rock.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:28 PM
Drop Dead Gorgeous, perhaps I’m just a sucker for over-exaggerated Minnesota accents
February 20th, 2012 at 1:28 PM
Jeepers Creepers 2
Any Japanese zombie flick
House of the Dead
I think if your guilty please list includes a Uwe Boll movie, you win, hands down.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:29 PM
My favorite guilty pleasure movie might be The Rock.
yuck.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:29 PM
I just got out of jail, I AINT GOIN BACK
February 20th, 2012 at 1:29 PM
I lost my shit when I read that AV Club article the other day about how Stallone used to have replicas of his naked ass encased in ice hanging from the ceiling in Planet Hollywood.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:29 PM
Ain’t nothing to feel guilty about, brah.
/I drive a volvo
//a beige one
February 20th, 2012 at 1:29 PM
It’s not even as good as the original
.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:30 PM
COME ON.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:31 PM
Another question: What movie do you hate so much that you wish it could be wiped from existence.
For me, the discussion begins and ends with Pearl Harbor.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:31 PM
Now there’s an overrated document.
/ Displays ignorance of democratic civilization and traditions
February 20th, 2012 at 1:31 PM
No Way Out is also a guilty pleasure.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:31 PM
COME ON.
i guffawed
February 20th, 2012 at 1:31 PM
You a big Ludacris lookin motherfucka, aint ya? Move bitch, get out the way….
February 20th, 2012 at 1:31 PM
It really balanced the room out with the naked terminator kneeling on the ground beneath it.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:32 PM
The Boondock Saints.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:32 PM
cut the chitchat, AHOLE!
February 20th, 2012 at 1:32 PM
Transformers. Or the G.I. Joe movie. Joseph Gordon Levitt’s just lucky neither his real face or voice appears in that.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:32 PM
It’s a terrible movie with ridiculous over the top action.
Plus, William Forsythe.
PLUS, John C McGinley dies.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:33 PM
What movie do you hate so much that you wish it could be wiped from existence.
non star wars, right?
any given sunday
February 20th, 2012 at 1:33 PM
Transformers 2 and 3. I know the first wasn’t anything special, but that was THE toy of my childhood so I’ll take that one. The other 2 made me want to kill someone.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:33 PM
non star wars, right?
Yes. I should have specified.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:33 PM
Donnie Darko. Mostly because I’m tired of being told that this pile of pretentious, disjointed fuckery is a “totes deep, trippy experience, brah.”
And anything that contributes to Channing Tatum getting paid can go, too.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:34 PM
Just to stray off topic a moment … that pic of Rihanna atop The Roundup just goes to prove what a difference a change in hairstyle can make. Rihanna With Old Hair = Meh; Rihanna With Beyonce Hair = Totally Hot.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:34 PM
The Lion King is one. My name indicates another.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:34 PM
Indiana Jones and the fucking stupid alien shit/nuclear bomb scene shitshow is also high on this list.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:35 PM
What’s everyone’s favorite movie where Billy Blanks take PCP and shoots himself during a football game?
February 20th, 2012 at 1:35 PM
Now, see, I’m all in on C-Tates. He’s terrific in A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints. And he’s not afraid to poke fun at himself (see his upcoming stripper movie). That and 20 Jump Street is going to be terrific.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:35 PM
suck it, spencer
February 20th, 2012 at 1:35 PM
gulity pleasure? The Warriors and it is not close
/you gonna pay for that?
//FOR WHAT???!!
///i could go on
February 20th, 2012 at 1:35 PM
Plus, William Forsythe.
guilty pleasure, Stone Cold
February 20th, 2012 at 1:35 PM
What’s everyone’s favorite movie where Billy Blanks take PCP and shoots himself during a football game?
The Last Boy Scout, if I recall.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:35 PM
Same reasoning for me with Boondock Saints.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:36 PM
Dude…you needn’t feel guilty about the Sandlot. Yeah yeah…that shit is money.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:36 PM
Another Gene Hackman winner!
Plus naked Sean Young before she went apeshit.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:36 PM
What’s everyone’s favorite movie where Billy Blanks take PCP and shoots himself during a football game?
that was billy blanks? i never see the beginning on that one
February 20th, 2012 at 1:37 PM
Nice.
I think my only memory of that movie is a judge getting blown up on a fishing boat.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:37 PM
Indiana Jones and the fucking stupid alien shit/nuclear bomb scene shitshow is also high on this list.
I have a feeling that most hatred is going to be directed at movies made in the last 15 years.
I thought about Kingdom of the Crystal Skull too, but Pearl Harbor angers me so much I can’t really put it into words.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:37 PM
Charming Potato was horrific on SNL and every movie he’s ever been in. That stripper movie isn’t poking fun at himself. That’s going to be a dead-serious drama he thinks will open the world’s eyes to the plight of male strippers.
20 Jump Street a prequel or something? Because 21 Jump Street looks like someone filmed a homeless man dying of syphilis.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:38 PM
The Devil’s Rejects. Rob Zombie loves him some gore, but the man has got style as a director, plus a sense of humor.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:38 PM
gulity pleasure? The Warriors and it is not close
I can dig it.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:38 PM
Guilty pleasure: Can’t Hardly Wait
February 20th, 2012 at 1:38 PM
I think my only memory of that movie is a judge getting blown up on a fishing boat.
watch it again. it’s so awesomely awful.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:38 PM
Loose Cannons is also a great Gene Hackman flick.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:38 PM
Old School so people wouldn’t be able to bring it up in funniest movie conversations
February 20th, 2012 at 1:38 PM
What movie do you hate so much that you wish it could be wiped from existence.
Planet of the Apes (Wahlberg Edition)
February 20th, 2012 at 1:39 PM
I love this movie.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:39 PM
Old School so people wouldn’t be able to bring it up in funniest movie conversations
I’m still getting over the fact that Bravo listed Animal House as the best comedy of all time.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:39 PM
Guilty Pleasure:
Oceans’11 & 12
February 20th, 2012 at 1:40 PM
only movie i actually walked out of before it ended. wait, second. Batman and Robin was the first.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:40 PM
Planet of the Apes (Wahlberg Edition)
that one over The Time Machine remake? At least Apes was funny, even if not on purpose.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:40 PM
Guilty Pleasure:
Oceans’11 & 12
Why do you feel guilty about liking Ocean’s 11 (I assume you mean the remake by Stephen Soderbergh and not the original)?
February 20th, 2012 at 1:40 PM
I’m still getting over the fact that Bravo listed Animal House as the best comedy of all time.
I don’t know about all timme but Animal House >> Old School
February 20th, 2012 at 1:41 PM
I’m still getting over the fact that Bravo listed Animal House as the best comedy of all time
i have never liked blazing saddles
February 20th, 2012 at 1:41 PM
Cool beans.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:41 PM
I’m still getting over the fact that Bravo listed Animal House as the best comedy of all time.
it’s barely funny
February 20th, 2012 at 1:42 PM
i have never liked blazing saddles
I’m not sure we can be friends. Sorry.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:42 PM
Say what now?
February 20th, 2012 at 1:42 PM
Guilty pleasure: Heartbreakers.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:42 PM
since there’s a bit of interest on movies here….you must see Last Mistress because Asia Argento is naked a lot and has such a fine rack
February 20th, 2012 at 1:43 PM
i have never liked blazing saddles
it depends on the order in which you see Mel Brooks’ movies. If you saw some of the awful ones first (like spaceballs) then you’re doomed on going back to the best ones.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:43 PM
you’re fired
February 20th, 2012 at 1:43 PM
Why do you feel guilty about liking Ocean’s 11 (I assume you mean the remake by Stephen Soderbergh and not the original)?
Watched parts of 11 at least 50 times, wife thinks I an HtownHacker for Brad Clooney…
/NTTAWWT
February 20th, 2012 at 1:43 PM
Guilty pleasure: Heartbreakers.
I walked out of that one.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:43 PM
Agree. For me that movie is top-5 as far as comedies go.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:43 PM
it depends on the order in which you see Mel Brooks’ movies. If you saw some of the awful ones first (like spaceballs) then you’re doomed on going back to the best ones.
Agree with this. Young Frankenstein and The Producers should always be viewed first if someone has never seen anything by Mel Brooks.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:44 PM
Now you’re hating on Spaceballs? For shame!!!
February 20th, 2012 at 1:44 PM
That is one entertaining movie, albeit a remake of Bob Le Flambeur. Neil Jordan has made some really good movies.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:44 PM
Young Frankenstein is the only Mel Brooks movie I’ve enjoyed, it’s possibly my biggest break from popular opinion
February 20th, 2012 at 1:45 PM
what? ya did not like history of the world?
February 20th, 2012 at 1:45 PM
Whatever happened to Rick Moranis? Little Giants killed his career.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:45 PM
Best Soderbergh flick?
The Limey.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:45 PM
only movie i actually walked out of before it ended. wait, second. Batman and Robin was the first.
only one for me….robin hood men in tights
fell asleep during the old-fart british transformer speech in the desert in T2 but cmon, that speech was shit and i was dealing with three kids at home who were 3, 2, and 2. the more you have, the more chance you will go to bed late and wake at least once during the night
February 20th, 2012 at 1:46 PM
Agree with this. Young Frankenstein and The Producers should always be viewed first if someone has never seen anything by Mel Brooks.
I think the first one I saw was The History of the World, Part II. Then Spaceballs. I have a hard time being a fan, although The Producers is good.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:46 PM
Now you’re hating on Spaceballs? For shame!!!
Spaceballs is funny, but it’s simply not in the same league as Blazing Saddles or Young Frankenstein.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:46 PM
You got it!
Oh also Big Trouble in Little China
February 20th, 2012 at 1:46 PM
\
Traffic
February 20th, 2012 at 1:46 PM
que?
February 20th, 2012 at 1:46 PM
He retired from acting, but Aykroyd’s trying to lure him back for Ghosterbusters 3.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:47 PM
Now you’re hating on Spaceballs? For shame!!!
I dont’ tend to enjoy sendups.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:47 PM
It’s good to be the king!
February 20th, 2012 at 1:47 PM
Favorite Blazing Saddles scene.
I die laughing every single time.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:47 PM
Never seen that one
Retired from the acting game after his wife died to raise his kids…shame too, he was an under appreciated comic actor
February 20th, 2012 at 1:48 PM
Of course it isn’t, but that doesn’t mean it’s not hilarious. Though if Star Wars spoofs are your thing, I would highly recommend the Robot Chicken Star Wars specials.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:48 PM
so apparently they are tracking internet usage at my office now. awesome.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:49 PM
I think the first one I saw was The History of the World, Part II.
whatever it was called. I remember them saying that in that stupid movie.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:49 PM
History of the World, Part I is funny but it drags for long periods of time. The whole cafe/restaurant (or whatever it was) scene during the French Revolution was far too long in my opinion.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:50 PM
Of course it isn’t, but that doesn’t mean it’s not hilarious
I didn’t say it wasn’t hilarious. It’s just not as good as his earlier stuff.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:50 PM
i have never liked blazing saddles
you’re fired
this is what i’m talking about….universal love for that thing. it’s a lot of stuff i know is supposed to be funny, but i don’t actually laugh. not like i laughed at 40yo virgin, anchorman, hangover, fletch, monty python half-hour shows, bananas, sleeper….
i mean i know brooks is a ‘genius’ but all i can do is appreciate the talent, not ave a physical reaction to that talent
February 20th, 2012 at 1:50 PM
For those interested, here’s a link to the first Star Wars spoof of Robot Chicken.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:52 PM
i mean i know brooks is a ‘genius’ but all i can do is appreciate the talent, not ave a physical reaction to that talent
Hedge much? Are you saying you disliked the movie or are you attacking the widespread love of it?
February 20th, 2012 at 1:53 PM
Oh also Big Trouble in Little China
this movie has a beginning. You’ll be shocked that the beginning exists. Also, isn’t the asian sidekick in this the poker playing guy from Luck?
February 20th, 2012 at 1:53 PM
Another guilty pleasure: Evolution. Stifler just slays me in that movie.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:53 PM
Whatever happened to Rick Moranis? Little Giants killed his career.
only funny things he did were strange brew (so, mckenzie bros) and ghostbusters. but nearly stole the show in ghostbusters
/i’m gonna go have a shower (clunk)
//ok, who brought the dog?
February 20th, 2012 at 1:54 PM
Are you saying you disliked the movie or are you attacking the widespread love of it?
I can’t stand most Will Ferrell movies. And the one I like the best is the one everybody hates.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:54 PM
How about best remake? I’d vote for The Thing (1982), even though the original is in my top 10 all-time list.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:55 PM
Rick Moranis and Dave Thomas doing the McKenzie Brothers are moose in Brother Bear was pretty funny, that was actually an underrated Disney cartoon.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:55 PM
This. The only one I like is Ricky Bobby.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:56 PM
Hedge much? Are you saying you disliked the movie or are you attacking the widespread love of it?
where’s the hedge? i said it didn;t make me laugh. that’s different than saying you someone is talented. clearly if me and butters are the only ones who don’t suck blazing saddle dick, we’re the strange ones
February 20th, 2012 at 1:56 PM
Ice skating or basketball?
February 20th, 2012 at 1:58 PM
Bewitched.
February 20th, 2012 at 1:58 PM
How about best remake?
you could do worst all day. the monster in the Thing was ultra lame in the original.
I liked the Blob remake, but I was young and dumb. Maybe the Fly?
February 20th, 2012 at 2:00 PM
Thought of a better one for this.
Phil Hartman wanted to do a live action Troy McClure movie.
February 20th, 2012 at 2:01 PM
Bewitched.
that’s not the answer, but I thought that was good. Until Steve Carell did the worst Paul Lynde impersonation of all time.
February 20th, 2012 at 2:02 PM
Phil Hartman wanted to do a live action Troy McClure movie.
he would have needed a resurgence to get anything done. His last work was as a voice in a movie where war toys took over a yard or something.
February 20th, 2012 at 2:03 PM
I mean this in the nicest way possible: are you trolling or stupid?
February 20th, 2012 at 2:03 PM
Steve Carell
stil waiting for him to make a movie other than 40yo virgin that people mention when they hear his name. still, if that’s his peak, it was a good one
February 20th, 2012 at 2:04 PM
Its stranger than fiction isn’t it.
February 20th, 2012 at 2:05 PM
Its stranger than fiction isn’t it.
I thought it was great. I really did. Aren’t you happy you aren’t a golem?
February 20th, 2012 at 2:06 PM
I mean this in the nicest way possible: are you trolling or stupid?
kid gloves right there
February 20th, 2012 at 2:07 PM
the buildup and pregame show for John Carter has started here
February 20th, 2012 at 2:07 PM
Yes I am relieved I am not a golem. I was surprised how much I enjoyed that movie.
February 20th, 2012 at 2:09 PM
there needed to be an un-frozen caveman lawyer movie made.
February 20th, 2012 at 2:09 PM
Dan in Real Life was a good movie.
How many of the comments on here relate to what was written?
February 20th, 2012 at 2:10 PM
One of the worst tested movies ever, apparently.
February 20th, 2012 at 2:10 PM
Oh come on! Phil was not the voice he was the dad of the dipshit kid with the bad haircut. Tommy Lee Jones was the main voice.
February 20th, 2012 at 2:11 PM
your world scares me, ark
February 20th, 2012 at 2:13 PM
where’s the hedge? i said it didn;t make me laugh. that’s different than saying you someone is talented. clearly if me and butters are the only ones who don’t suck blazing saddle dick, we’re the strange ones
First you said you didn’t like it, then you said you thought Brooks is talented but you think people viscerally overreact to the movie. Not a hedge perhaps but it’s also different from saying you didn’t think it was good.
February 20th, 2012 at 2:13 PM
Sure was. Hawks did the Lords work yesterday.
February 20th, 2012 at 2:13 PM
One of the worst tested movies ever, apparently.
help me explain this to the 11 yo who is my reason for going…(i want to see it too)
February 20th, 2012 at 2:14 PM
“Son you have horrible taste.”
“But it’s not your fault, these things are genetic. This family is a minefield of shitty taste in lead actors. And renal failure, so look out for that too.”
February 20th, 2012 at 2:15 PM
ok, ms, i’ve never enjoyed Blazing Saddles. i see the scenes everyone loves and they don’t make me laugh. i’d rather watch brooks’s kid albert do the voice of Nemo’s dad
/you know, parties are fun
February 20th, 2012 at 2:17 PM
Former Confederate captain John Carter (Taylor Kitsch) is mysteriously transported to Mars (“Barsoom”) where he becomes part of a conflict between the various nations of the planet, whose leaders include Tars Tarkas (Willem Dafoe) and Princess Dejah Thoris (Lynn Collins). Carter takes it upon himself to save Barsoom and its people.
WOOF.
February 20th, 2012 at 2:18 PM
he’s my stepson
February 20th, 2012 at 2:18 PM
The John Carter series is basically a ripoff of the Gor series except without all the awesome sex parts and Jack Palance being in the movie versions.
February 20th, 2012 at 2:19 PM
Former Confederate captain John Carter (Taylor Kitsch) is mysteriously transported to Mars (“Barsoom”) where he becomes part of a conflict between the various nations of the planet, whose leaders include Tars Tarkas (Willem Dafoe) and Princess Dejah Thoris (Lynn Collins). Carter takes it upon himself to save Barsoom and its people.
WOOF.
i know! cannot wait!
hold on, there’s a dog in it?
February 20th, 2012 at 2:19 PM
In that case, you get to explain how genetics work and how people may think you’re blood relation because of the penchant for enjoying bad movies but in reality it’s just a coincidence. You can use this as a learning experience.
February 20th, 2012 at 2:21 PM
Former Confederate captain John Carter (Taylor Kitsch) is mysteriously transported to Mars (“Barsoom”) where he becomes part of a conflict between the various nations of the planet, whose leaders include Tars Tarkas (Willem Dafoe) and Princess Dejah Thoris (Lynn Collins). Carter takes it upon himself to save Barsoom and its people.
Seems like some studio exec had a coke and Stargate filled night before he greenlit that preposterous idea.
February 20th, 2012 at 2:22 PM
how people may think you’re blood relation because of the penchant for enjoying bad movies but in reality it’s just a coincidence.
he has orange hair. i don;t
/just trying to help you help me
February 20th, 2012 at 2:23 PM
Seems like some studio exec had a coke and Stargate filled night before he greenlit that preposterous idea.
love the “mysteriously transported to Mars” part. I’m going to assume since it’s a disney movie it will just be explained by magic and then some talking puppy will distract us before our brains can try to rationalize it.
February 20th, 2012 at 2:23 PM
The character is actually over a hundred years old, he was created before WWI.
So on the bright side, it took this long for someone dumb enough to make it into a huge movie to come along.
February 20th, 2012 at 2:23 PM
Seems like some studio exec had a coke and Stargate filled night before he greenlit that preposterous idea.
well if we are the only two people to see it, i hope our tickets aren’t 50 million doalrs each
/goes through credit cards
February 20th, 2012 at 2:25 PM
Former Confederate captain John Carter
I read that as inbred douche bag with an inferiority complex. Is he supposed to be unlikable. And didn’t some other movie with some high school whores threaten to kill him?
February 20th, 2012 at 2:25 PM
Favorite Young Frankenstein scene.
February 20th, 2012 at 2:26 PM
Favorite Young Frankenstein scene.
this clubhouse is for boys only. No dames.
February 20th, 2012 at 2:26 PM
I’m going to assume since it’s a disney movie it will just be explained by magic and then some talking puppy will distract us before our brains can try to rationalize it
dude, can you remember the last time you had fun?
February 20th, 2012 at 2:26 PM
John Carter is going to be hiroshima. I’m talking Wild Wild West levels of embarrassment and losses.
February 20th, 2012 at 2:26 PM
Jack Carter > John Carter
February 20th, 2012 at 2:26 PM
suck my dick.
February 20th, 2012 at 2:27 PM
love the “mysteriously transported to Mars” part. I’m going to assume since it’s a disney movie it will just be explained by magic and then some talking puppy will distract us before our brains can try to rationalize it.
In my head it was pitched as The Searchers except on an alien planet, no missing niece, and as few racial/ethnic overtones as possible.
February 20th, 2012 at 2:30 PM
I thought John Carter was kind of like Planet of the Apes.
February 20th, 2012 at 2:31 PM
dude, can you remember the last time you had fun?
yes. it was saturday night. it did not involve confederate captains. captain and coke, however, was involved.
February 20th, 2012 at 2:31 PM
You just won over a cage of navy seals.
February 20th, 2012 at 2:31 PM
Taylor Kitsch is going to headline two of the worst movies of the year. Hello, career. Goodbye, career.
February 20th, 2012 at 2:32 PM
Changing gears: His role The Searchers is easily my favorite John Wayne performance.
February 20th, 2012 at 2:33 PM
captain and coke, however, was involved.
hangover
/staying with the theme
February 20th, 2012 at 2:33 PM
I’m a huge Quiet Man fan.
February 20th, 2012 at 2:34 PM
The movie or the musical?
February 20th, 2012 at 2:34 PM
You are underestimating just how bad three stooges could be.
February 20th, 2012 at 2:34 PM
His role The Searchers is easily my favorite John Wayne performance.
quiet man. true grit
/you’ll darn my socks
February 20th, 2012 at 2:35 PM
hangover
Finally saw the second one a few weeks ago. Given the amount of criticism it got, I expected it to be worse. It was a a carbon copy, yes. But I’ve seen worse sequels.
February 20th, 2012 at 2:35 PM
And The Green Berets is definitely on of my guilty pleasures.
February 20th, 2012 at 2:38 PM
quiet man. true grit
/you’ll darn my socks
The remake had better individual performances; especially Matt Damon as Labeauf.
February 20th, 2012 at 2:38 PM
Marty Feldman.
February 20th, 2012 at 2:39 PM
Speaking of the Coen brothers, I really enjoyed Burn After Reading.
February 20th, 2012 at 2:40 PM
eiger sanction is good
February 20th, 2012 at 2:41 PM
Troof.
What I mean is, two of the biggest bombs of the year. JC cost about $170 million, Battleship about $250. That is some serious, serious coin.
February 20th, 2012 at 2:42 PM
The remake had better individual performances; especially Matt Damon as Labeauf.
enjoyed it
Burn After Reading
didn;t even try. gimmicky brad pitt acting scared me away. 12 monkeys was enough twitching for a lifetime
February 20th, 2012 at 2:42 PM
You are underestimating just how bad three stooges could be.
Pretty sure if it’s filmed in Atlanta it’s guaranteed to be shit.
Hall Pass, The Change Up, Life As We Know It, Killers, The Walking Dead, Sweet Home Alabama, and that new one with Paul Rudd, Jennifer Anniston, and the nudist colony which looks terrible and The Three Stooges.
Wow, that is a sentence full of shit. Steaming pile of dog diarrhea.
February 20th, 2012 at 2:42 PM
Lets run through the list of why this movie can never ever get remade.
1) One of the many movies where Clint rapes a woman then she falls in love with him
2) He makes Aunt Jemima jokes about black women
3) Then sleeps with her
4) Actually he rapes her, see number 1
5) There’s a dog named “faggot”
6) It’s a terrible movie
February 20th, 2012 at 2:43 PM
Yea buddy.
February 20th, 2012 at 2:43 PM
My sentence structure: also terrible.
February 20th, 2012 at 2:44 PM
Oh, lest we forget, every Tyler Perry show/movie is filmed here. Good God.
February 20th, 2012 at 2:45 PM
In Atlanta’s defense: Williams Street Productions.
February 20th, 2012 at 2:47 PM
Lets run through the list of why this movie can never ever get remade.
1) One of the many movies where Clint rapes a woman then she falls in love with him
2) He makes Aunt Jemima jokes about black women
3) Then sleeps with her
4) Actually he rapes her, see number 1
5) There’s a dog named “faggot”
6) It’s a terrible movie
dude, do you remember the last time you had fun?
February 20th, 2012 at 2:47 PM
Wow, Young Frankenstein opened the same weekend as Godfather II and made over $100M.
February 20th, 2012 at 2:49 PM
Last night.
Eiger Sanction is a great bad movie. Eastwood really was an asshole though, he seriously committed so many rapes in his movies during that era it’s ridiculous.
February 20th, 2012 at 2:50 PM
play misty for me is bad too
February 20th, 2012 at 2:50 PM
Early reviews have been favorable. however, it is expected to be the first box office flop of the year.
February 20th, 2012 at 2:51 PM
Lets run through the list of why this movie can never ever get remade.
1) One of the many movies where Clint rapes a woman then she falls in love with him
2) He makes Aunt Jemima jokes about black women
3) Then sleeps with her
4) Actually he rapes her, see number 1
5) There’s a dog named “faggot”
6) It’s a terrible movie
he raped a white woman, the black chick’s character name was Jemima, and #6 is so true it’s hilarious. Or did he rape the Indian lady? He definitely raped somebody, and made a lot of rape jokes.
February 20th, 2012 at 2:54 PM
and his character name was Rapey Raperton
February 20th, 2012 at 2:55 PM
I’ll have to rewatch it soon. Luckily I own it!
February 20th, 2012 at 2:56 PM
Early reviews have been favorable. however, it is expected to be the first box office flop of the year.
just adding fuel to the white-hot fire
February 20th, 2012 at 2:57 PM
didn;t even try. gimmicky brad pitt acting scared me away
Gimmicky? He’s acting very much against type in that movie and he does it well. And if you don’t like his character, he’s actually barely on the screen.
February 20th, 2012 at 2:58 PM
lon kruger’s at OU?
/infiniti teaches me
February 20th, 2012 at 2:58 PM
And if you don’t like his character, he’s actually barely on the screen.
great trailers then
February 20th, 2012 at 2:59 PM
it is awesome when it is finally revealed what Clooney’s character is making in the basement of Burn after Reading.
February 20th, 2012 at 3:00 PM
Sucks because the director, Andrew Stanton, deserves better than this pile of shit story for his feature debut. You’d have thought Finding Nemo and the brilliant Wall-E — not to mention script work on Monsters Inc, and TS 1&2 — would have earned him a better feature debut project.
February 20th, 2012 at 3:00 PM
The ending scene at the FBI of Burn After Reading made me laugh, but it was a movie I told myself I enjoyed more than I really did because I had high hopes for it.
12 Monkeys is fucking awesome
Jones is my name. I’m in insurance.
February 20th, 2012 at 3:02 PM
great trailers then
This is a whole other debate though. Movies can get ruined based on the expectations built up by the trailers. And if the trailer is not an especially well-edited one, which seems to becoming a larger problem, then that can destroy the movie.
Another thing that pissed me off about Pearl Harbor was how awesome the Martin Sheen narrated teaser was….nowhere in it did it contain the schlocky, ham-fisted love triangle bullshit that ended up being most of the story.
February 20th, 2012 at 3:03 PM
The ending scene at the FBI of Burn After Reading made me laugh
J.K. Simmons, legend.
February 20th, 2012 at 3:04 PM
I think there should be a class action suit for the money and time we all wasted watching that awful, awful movie.
February 20th, 2012 at 3:05 PM
Guilty Pleasure: Captain Ron
February 20th, 2012 at 3:05 PM
nowhere in it did it contain the schlocky, ham-fisted love triangle bullshit that ended up being most of the story.
I for one, commend a film that addressed the Eskimo brothers narrative head on.
February 20th, 2012 at 3:06 PM
Guilty Pleasure: Captain Ron
um, we’re discussing movies, mantis
February 20th, 2012 at 3:06 PM
I think there should be a class action suit for the money and time we all wasted watching that awful, awful movie.
come on guys, it was directed by michael bay… did you really think it was going to be schindler’s list?
February 20th, 2012 at 3:06 PM
Guilty Pleasure: Captain Ron
This is a movie that I used to hate but now love. It really grew on me over time.
February 20th, 2012 at 3:07 PM
Alright, that’s more like it, now you’re talking! You can do it, mates! I’ve never seen such sailors. Not in all my born days, I ain’t. Naturals! My God, everyone of you, naturals… we’re gonna fucking die!
February 20th, 2012 at 3:07 PM
come on guys, it was directed by michael bay… did you really think it was going to be schindler’s list?
Fair point, but still….
February 20th, 2012 at 3:08 PM
Nope, but at least thought it was going to be watchable.
February 20th, 2012 at 3:10 PM
i’m pulling for you guys….500 is nigh.
gotta go mr. mom it
February 20th, 2012 at 3:12 PM
i remember going to see pearl harbor in the theater… having no idea that it was a chick flick… anyways, we get there and it was sold out… we were bummed… went and saw the Mummy 2 instead.
In hindsight, we dodged one shit bullet, only to get hit by another in the crossfire.
February 20th, 2012 at 3:15 PM
You want a beer? You get your own beer.
In the Duffy family hall of fame
February 20th, 2012 at 3:16 PM
i remember going to see pearl harbor in the theater… having no idea that it was a chick flick
Nobody did. Which is one of the reasons it invites such anger. Other reasons include:
1. Horrible dialogue
2. Absurd story with multiple holes
3. It utterly raped history
4. Ridiculous special effects
February 20th, 2012 at 3:17 PM
Simon Adebisi, the legend, left Oz to do The Mummy 2. Fuck The Mummy 2.
February 20th, 2012 at 3:18 PM
Armageddon has a Criterion Collection blu-ray package. Dead serious.
February 20th, 2012 at 3:19 PM
I can’t believe I paid money to watch a Brendon Frasier film. That’s up there with banging a fatty.
February 20th, 2012 at 3:20 PM
Yes but you also saved an hour of time. Pearl Harbor was three hours long. Think about that.
February 20th, 2012 at 3:20 PM
to be fair to pearl harbor, it introduced me to kate beckinsale. great masturbatory material for a 16 year old right there.
February 20th, 2012 at 3:21 PM
Armageddon has a Criterion Collection blu-ray package. Dead serious.
Well Criterion Collections just lost their legitimacy.
February 20th, 2012 at 3:23 PM
Overall, it was an awful, awful movie.
“You can’t die! You’re going to be a father!!!”
“No…You are…/dies”
one of the few times I’ve ever yelled at a movie screen
February 20th, 2012 at 3:24 PM
RAEF (Rafe?) is a horrible nickname.
February 20th, 2012 at 3:24 PM
I could see that quote working for stuff after the year 2000 but in the 90′s it was more socially acceptable.
February 20th, 2012 at 3:26 PM
I just went through her imdb…and the only movie I have ever seen her in is The Aviator (and I don’t remember her). Is she a decent actress at all?
My mind was also blown that she is British. I guess I have never heard her talk.
February 20th, 2012 at 3:26 PM
/opens book of commenters ethnicity
//crosses black off of list for Hawkeye
February 20th, 2012 at 3:27 PM
Raef and Rafe are both just first names. I didn’t think they were short for anything.
February 20th, 2012 at 3:27 PM
Is she a decent actress at all?
She co starred in an adam sandler movie. So, probably not. She’s amazing to look at though.
February 20th, 2012 at 3:27 PM
Bravo.
February 20th, 2012 at 3:28 PM
Overall, it was an awful, awful movie.
I’ll also say this: if a movie made 31 years before (Tora Tora Tora) casts the Japanese in a better light than yours, then you might have made a poorly thought out movie.
February 20th, 2012 at 3:28 PM
Raef and Rafe are both just first names. I didn’t think they were short for anything.
Rafael?
/turtles in a half shell’d
February 20th, 2012 at 3:29 PM
She has a strong ability to fit into tight black outfits and keep me interested.
February 20th, 2012 at 3:30 PM
Is she a decent actress at all?
I don’t know if she’s ever had what we may call a “challenging” role. So it’s hard to say.
February 20th, 2012 at 3:30 PM
How Dan Aykrod landed a role in Pearl Harbor is a mystery to me.
February 20th, 2012 at 3:32 PM
Huh. I didn’t even think of that.
I know a Raef and a Rafe that just that that as their given name. I know Raef LaFrentz isn’t short for anything either though. Small sample size?
February 20th, 2012 at 3:32 PM
Ha!! Well played
February 20th, 2012 at 3:33 PM
How Dan Aykrod landed a role in Pearl Harbor is a mystery to me.
He was there for the conspiracy theory angle.
/FDR knew it was comin’ man.
February 20th, 2012 at 3:33 PM
He probably entertained at a Michael Bay birthday party by going around with a proton pack filled with vodka and spraying all the guests down.
February 20th, 2012 at 3:34 PM
Hey HawkEye…you recommended Warpia the other day. I am looking at them. Which one do you use?
I just want to stream some stuff from my laptop to my TV in the best quality possible.
February 20th, 2012 at 3:36 PM
Babar do you have a 360 or PS3? If so, look into TVersity. That’s a great streaming platform that runs through the consoles (streamed from PC to console). Whatever quality it was in on the original, it was in on the stream.
February 20th, 2012 at 3:37 PM
Babar, check out Orb. Our company uses its tech in some products we’re developing and it works very, very well.
February 20th, 2012 at 3:37 PM
Ya a PS3…I’ll check it out. Thanks.
February 20th, 2012 at 3:41 PM
Also TVersity is free and just a program. It gets around the codec issues involved with most files and using the consoles as servers.
But with the PS3 you really do not need to be buying a standalone product to stream things.
February 20th, 2012 at 3:42 PM
I’ve yet to buy one, actually. Everything I’ve read about them make them look rock solid, though.
February 20th, 2012 at 3:47 PM
Queefer, thanks for the Orb link too.
February 20th, 2012 at 3:47 PM
Queefer, thanks for the Orb link too.
The internet has done great things for the way we speak and write.
February 20th, 2012 at 3:51 PM
Not necessarily for netflix…but videos/photos from my computer, youtube videos (without having to use PS3′s clunky version), and other media that is all conveniently housed on my laptop with a full keyboard.
February 20th, 2012 at 3:51 PM
Can’t believe I missed this thread…Okay:
1. Great post by Huffy Puffy Duffy. Agreed with everything.
2. Question: What if the editor made the headline “A chink in the armor?”
3. Saving Private Ryan is usually one of the first movies I think of when the “it got hosed!” discussion starts. I would like to add Annie Hall beating Star Wars in 1977, but George Lucas has ruined the fuck out of the movie for me to enjoy it anymore.
4. Fight Club should’ve been nominated for best picture the year American Beauty won.
February 20th, 2012 at 3:55 PM
Youtube I am not sure of a better way around.
But for videos and pictures from your computer, that’s what I used TVersity for. It’s basically Windows Media Center with none of the shitty file restrictions and a super easy interface on the computer and console.
February 20th, 2012 at 3:59 PM
Thanks “Ricochet”.
Of all the word’s in your name, and TBL picked out “Ricochet”…seems like it could have been a villain’s name in a Western.
February 20th, 2012 at 4:02 PM
Or a terrible Marvel superhero (REDUNDANCY ALERT!)
February 20th, 2012 at 4:04 PM
Of all the word’s in your name, and TBL picked out “Ricochet”…seems like it could have been a villain’s name in a Western.
I like this idea. Can we add Tommy Lee Jones and some space aliens?
/the exec who greenlit John Carter
February 20th, 2012 at 4:11 PM
So, for the three of us still here: is anyone worried that Stephen Spielberg has lost his fastball and that Lincoln could end up being horrible?
February 20th, 2012 at 4:16 PM
Wow, missed a big one. I’ll just say that I’ve met Max Bretos, seemed like a nice guy. I’m friends with his brother, we played rugby together. This suspension is a ridiculous overreaction, and will stain this guy as a racist for the rest of his career.
February 20th, 2012 at 4:19 PM
Is anyone worried that Stephen Spielberg has lost his fastball and that Lincoln could end up being horrible?
he has an asian wife. he’ll be fine.
February 20th, 2012 at 4:22 PM
Yeah, kind of.
Related: finally saw the trailer for Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter last night. Could be awesome, but looks so visually dark that I have no idea what the hell is going on.
February 20th, 2012 at 4:23 PM
Related: finally saw the trailer for Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter last night. Could be awesome, but looks so visually dark that I have no idea what the hell is going on.
Visually dark? Like Barry Lyndon?
February 20th, 2012 at 4:25 PM
Imagine every Batman fight sequence where there’s just dark blurs and you can’t tell what’s really going on you just know the good guy is winning. Add a top hat and vampires. There’s that movie.
February 20th, 2012 at 4:25 PM
Though if it IS lit by candlelight, that would be impressive to say the least.
February 20th, 2012 at 4:26 PM
he has an asian wife. he’ll be fine.
Spielberg is married to Kate Capshaw. So I’m not sure what you’re talking about.
February 20th, 2012 at 4:27 PM
Spielberg is married to Kate Capshaw. So I’m not sure what you’re talking about.
blame the mobile site for my copy and paste skills being terrible. it was in reference to the comment immediately preceding mine.
February 20th, 2012 at 4:27 PM
Imagine every Batman fight sequence where there’s just dark blurs and you can’t tell what’s really going on you just know the good guy is winning. Add a top hat and vampires. There’s that movie.
I see. That sounds rather disappointing.
February 20th, 2012 at 4:30 PM
OK, I just have to answer these things because I am super-pretentious and I need to show this off to people:
Best movie starring Keanu Reeves? Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey
Movie you pretend you’ve seen, but haven’t? 2001
Movie you’ve never seen the beginning of? Zombieland
Most pretentious movie you call your favorite (nada already called 7 Samurai)? So much for me to choose from here. Seventh Seal is awesome. I’ve watched Nosferatu, Sunrise, and Faust about 10-20 times apiece. Medium Cool. Do The Right Thing. Anything by Jim Jarmusch. Everything by Luis Bunuel. Man, I am a jerk.
Movie with naked women in it that you tried to get your wife to watch? I turn on porn all the time. Sometimes it works and she watches. Sometimes it works and she leaves the room to talk to her mom. We aren’t married, though, so maybe it’s different. Co-habitating is more or less the same thing, right?
Movie you hate the most that other people say is great (non star wars). The Insider. The heroic stuggle of 60 Minutes top producer getting a segment aired on 60 Minutes just doesn’t resonate very deeply with me.
February 20th, 2012 at 4:38 PM
so, fight scenes…has anyone ever seen a realistic one in a movie? one where the fighters take 12 or 13 full-on punches w/o being knocked out. unchoreographed, messy, like um, real life?
February 20th, 2012 at 4:39 PM
where the fighters DON’t take
February 20th, 2012 at 4:40 PM
so, to sum up, duffy posts move the needle
February 20th, 2012 at 5:06 PM
Glad to see this post and thread still live (sort of). I just came out of a very intense two-hour meeting and need the laughs.
Hands down, the greatest one occurs in (ahem) … They Live.
February 20th, 2012 at 5:10 PM
Warrior. Tommy Riordan drops people with one punch.
February 20th, 2012 at 5:11 PM
I’m here to kick ass and chew bubble gum, and I’m all out of gum
February 20th, 2012 at 5:21 PM
Every time I close this window, some new comments pop up. I’m not closing this now until I leave work.
February 20th, 2012 at 6:29 PM
Fight scenes? I cant believe im saying this, but i watched Immortals the other day and Tarsem Singh puts together a visual feast at the end. Zach Snyder couldnt pull it off on his best day. Terrible movie but incredible imagery. Also, The Raid is supposed to have some incredible action set pieces.
Speaking of awesome foegein films, Elite Squad 2 is on Instant. Check that shit out asap. You wont regret it. Its City of God mixed with The Wire.
February 20th, 2012 at 6:38 PM
Lets run through the list of why this movie can never ever get remade.
1) One of the many movies where Clint rapes a woman then she falls in love with him
2) He makes Aunt Jemima jokes about black women
3) Then sleeps with her
4) Actually he rapes her, see number 1
5) There’s a dog named “faggot”
6) It’s a terrible movie
So I’m guessing you are:
white
raised upper middle class
graduated with a minor in accounting
February 21st, 2012 at 9:08 AM
This PC bullcrap has ruined the country. This isn’t a racist statement IN THIS CONTEXT. I think it says more about us that we see the word and assume a racial epithet right away.