Five months in, Liverpool’s $31 million signing of Stewart Downing has been an epic fail. The man hired to pump balls into the box for Andy Carroll has more arrests, one, than assists since joining the club. He has looked a lot like, well, Stewart Downing when he’s asked to do anything besides run in a straight line.

The move was questioned at the time, because why the bleep would you pay £20m sterling for Stewart Downing? Reportedly, Fenway Sports Group’s John Henry and Tom Werner reportedly became infatuated with Downing after seeing an AVFC YouTube video of him kicking soccer balls into garbage cans from 30 yards away. After the signing The dynamic duo realized the video was doctored, presumably before they tried to buy David Beckham for $100m. Oops.

“There was some footage of Stewart where he was, from 30 yards away, kicking a football into five different trash cans and it was brilliant,” said chairman Werner.

“John and I said: ‘Oh my God, this player is brilliant, we’ve got to figure out a way to make a deal with him’.”

Red Sox fans should be scouring the Internet for viral videos of John Lackey pwning hitters.

[Update: Here's the whole interview from LiverpoolFC in August, which includes the rest of the quote the Birmingham Mail and other outlets did not: "We later found out of course that the footage was somewhat doctored but we were so excited about Downing joining Liverpool." Not sure what would be worse, believing the video was legit or still believing Stewart Downing was worth the money.]

[Photo via Getty]