Terrell Owens Signs With the … Allen Wranglers?
Terrell Owens announced earlier this afternoon that he has made the pivotal move of signing with the Allen Wranglers of the Indoor Football League. He also reportedly has a stake in ownership. The simple and glaringly obvious question is, really? For a guy who caught 153 touchdowns over 15 seasons in the NFL, must it end with a laugh track? I’m convinced Drew Rosenhaus is on vacation in a land far, far away, desperately seeking a cell phone signal.
Team owner Jon Frankel was quoted as saying the goal is to make the Allen Wranglers the “No. 1 attraction in Collin County,” which might be one of the saddest things I’ve ever read, and that includes Dave Coulier’s IMDB page.
The Wranglers’ season starts on February 25 against some team representing the city of Wichita. For now, I’ll choose to remember T.O. as the second to last 49er to weep on the sideline following an improbable game-winning touchdown catch.
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January 19th, 2012 at 2:39 PM
Apparently he loved him some him way too much. Should have loved him some savings accounts.
January 19th, 2012 at 2:39 PM
For now, I’ll choose to remember T.O. as the second to last 49er to weep on the sideline following an amazing game-winning touchdown catch.
and i will remember his as a self absorbed bitch who never won anything and wont go away.
January 19th, 2012 at 2:40 PM
so dude is obviously broke, right?
January 19th, 2012 at 2:40 PM
I was always partial to TO standing on the 50 yards line star then George Teague blasting him. Great moment. In other news, JMac is a suggested connection on linkedin — dare I connect?
January 19th, 2012 at 2:41 PM
He can’t help it that his QB pukes on the field during the final drive of the Super Bowl.
January 19th, 2012 at 2:41 PM
Neat. He could play my Reading Express team.
January 19th, 2012 at 2:42 PM
Ya think? My read was that he is desperately trying to show people he can still move/play.
I think they should have gotten creative with the nickname. Maybe the Wrenches?
January 19th, 2012 at 2:42 PM
most definitely.
January 19th, 2012 at 2:44 PM
Dude can’t make his child support payments. He’s broke as shit and needs cash.
January 19th, 2012 at 2:45 PM
which might be one of the saddest things I’ve ever read, and that includes Dave Coulier’s IMDB page.
I cannot imagine how much he makes from Full House in syndication. It’s run 2x a day for 20 years.
January 19th, 2012 at 2:45 PM
He’d be better off joining the WWE.
January 19th, 2012 at 2:45 PM
that’s cold, lawya.
January 19th, 2012 at 2:47 PM
it’s going to be tough to over-take the “Worlds Largest Spitoon*” over in McKinney.
*no clue if this exists
January 19th, 2012 at 2:47 PM
so dude is obviously broke, right?
wow, a few years ago he had 8 million reasons to live. assdick.
January 19th, 2012 at 2:47 PM
Just googled that. 4 payments to 4 different Baby Mamas totaling about 45K per month, or about half a mill a year. These athletes ain’t too bright.
January 19th, 2012 at 2:48 PM
/schedules vacation
you asshole.
January 19th, 2012 at 2:48 PM
I think he signed and fulfilled something like $60 million worth of NFL deals, yet he has no money. Couldn’t have happened to a bigger douche.
January 19th, 2012 at 2:49 PM
the goal is to make the Allen Wranglers the “No. 1 attraction in Collin County,”
that would be cheese, according to channel 8.
January 19th, 2012 at 2:49 PM
that’s not true at all…bono, newt, romney, madonna, the beckhams all come to mind for people id like to see be broke and destitute over TO. they’re all way, WAY worse.
January 19th, 2012 at 2:49 PM
Dude would’ve been playing on a pro field this past year if he didn’t cultivate a reputation of being an insufferable asshole. I got no sympathy for the guy. You can “love me some me” all you want, but if you can’t get along with teammates and coaches and show that you’re a legit team player, then piss off, I’m not interested in you.
January 19th, 2012 at 2:50 PM
I’ll say this for Bono, Spencer…he’s at least going around doing some nice things. That’s about the only thing keeping him off my liquidation list.
January 19th, 2012 at 2:52 PM
bono, newt, romney, madonna, the beckhams all come to mind for people id like to see be broke and destitute over TO. they’re all way, WAY worse.
at least madonna was hot as hell for about 15 years.
January 19th, 2012 at 2:52 PM
bono, newt, romney, madonna, the beckhams all come to mind for people id like to see be broke and destitute over TO. they’re all way, WAY worse.
at least madonna was hot as hell for about 15 years.
January 19th, 2012 at 2:52 PM
so dude is obviously broke, right?
most definitely.
Earning $300 a week isn’t going to help. He’d be better off renting a table next to Charley Hustle in Vegas.
January 19th, 2012 at 2:53 PM
I’ll say this for Bono, Spencer…he’s at least going around doing some nice things.
Raising money for African warlords is not a nice thing, Held.
January 19th, 2012 at 2:54 PM
Bono at least made Joshua Tree, Madonna was badass in the 80′s/early 90′s. Newt and Romney? Good case to be made. I’ll give you those.
January 19th, 2012 at 2:54 PM
There was nothing better than when he did crunches in his driveway…
Well that and crying about Romo…that was pretty funny too.
I always thought TO was on the down low?
January 19th, 2012 at 2:55 PM
Raising money for African warlords is not a nice thing, Held.
Is THAT what he’s been doing? Please explain or at least…LINK?
January 19th, 2012 at 2:55 PM
that’s not true at all…bono, newt, romney, madonna, the beckhams all come to mind for people id like to see be broke and destitute over TO. they’re all way, WAY worse.
This, but all trumped by that great American family, the Kardashians. I -cue up Bart Scott voice – CAN’T WAIT for them to be a footnote of pop culture.
January 19th, 2012 at 2:55 PM
“reduce your carbon footprint so i can make mine bigger.”
-bono
“recognize this shirt? you probably made it.”
-bono
“charity provides such a good opportunity for me to mention U2′s new album coming out.”
-bono
January 19th, 2012 at 2:56 PM
Then he couldn’t film this and turn it into a show and VH1.
January 19th, 2012 at 2:56 PM
Wouldnt one who is ‘co-owner’ of something make more than that?
January 19th, 2012 at 2:56 PM
take them back, plz.
January 19th, 2012 at 2:57 PM
at least bono helped contribute to a funny south park.
/8 courics
January 19th, 2012 at 2:57 PM
For some reason it’s enjoyable that Madonna bothers you.
January 19th, 2012 at 2:58 PM
They’re all yours. I think I might have to watch the debate tonight now that Newt has some serious momentum and Romney gets flustered when pressed. Should make for some good TV.
January 19th, 2012 at 2:58 PM
she’s been on my kill list longer than dark side of the moon was on the billboard list.
January 19th, 2012 at 2:58 PM
Especially as an owner in the IFL.
/$
January 19th, 2012 at 2:58 PM
while this is being said, Justin Beiber is stroking whatshername and lighting $100 bills on fire just for the fuck of it.
January 19th, 2012 at 2:58 PM
at least bono helped contribute to a funny south park.
“you’re number 2″
January 19th, 2012 at 2:59 PM
oh, im totally gonna watch…it’s the best shit on TV these days.
romney is such a cunt. newt’s pure evil, sure…but i want to see him romperstomp that piece of shit.
January 19th, 2012 at 3:00 PM
Can’t I wish for a meteor to hit that debate?
January 19th, 2012 at 3:00 PM
Probably less…those franchises are money pits.
January 19th, 2012 at 3:00 PM
Earning $300 a week isn’t going to help
Wouldnt one who is ‘co-owner’ of something make more than that?
He gets to keep the tips from candy stand each home game.
January 19th, 2012 at 3:00 PM
Romney cracks me up. An AJC cartoonist had a funny cartoon about how he’s really a robot and his advisors have to turn his opinions on and off.
January 19th, 2012 at 3:00 PM
Don’t feel bad for him. He had Alanis Morrisette go “down on him in a theartah…”
January 19th, 2012 at 3:01 PM
And those $100 bills are coming from teenage girls and their idiot moms and dads. No one hustles like the Biebs.
January 19th, 2012 at 3:01 PM
haven’t you heard about newt’s plan for a lunar meteor deterrant? it’ll create jobs broseph.
January 19th, 2012 at 3:01 PM
he’s at least going around doing some nice things. That’s about the only thing keeping him off my liquidation list.
uh oh
January 19th, 2012 at 3:01 PM
I’m so torn, presidential debate vs. American Idol in Pittsburgh. I hope some people really embarrass the city.
January 19th, 2012 at 3:02 PM
Maybe at the end, but I’d like to see the meeting of the minds that takes place. Paul is going to have to go all out crazy while Santorum will demand respect (which he won’t get) for winning Iowa. If only this was a debate hosted by Maddow (the lesbian, not the former Ohio State quarterback).
January 19th, 2012 at 3:02 PM
*signs with team*
*looks at roster….qb – Ricky Hinds*
That’s my quarterback??
*cries*
January 19th, 2012 at 3:02 PM
+10000 spoons when you all you need is a knife
January 19th, 2012 at 3:02 PM
i loved jon stewart’s crack at him last night…romney’s so boring his reflection falls asleep.
January 19th, 2012 at 3:02 PM
The Allen Wranglers mascot is Hoss.
http://www.allenwranglers.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=80&Itemid=146
January 19th, 2012 at 3:02 PM
Naw, he should go for the standard 20.
/party down’d
January 19th, 2012 at 3:03 PM
you son of a…
/twas funny
January 19th, 2012 at 3:04 PM
They’re all yours. I think I might have to watch the debate tonight now that Newt has some serious momentum and Romney gets flustered when pressed. Should make for some good TV.
Like Ty Duffy on the radio “good tv”? count me in.
January 19th, 2012 at 3:05 PM
That was awesome. I loved it when Mitt talked about hunting. It seemed so forced. He’s so much like John Kerry it’s mind boggling.
January 19th, 2012 at 3:05 PM
alanis goes in the top 10 of homely hots
January 19th, 2012 at 3:06 PM
In Duffy’s defense, that was probably his 1st or 2nd radio bit.
January 19th, 2012 at 3:06 PM
Might I suggest watching Paul Rudd on Parks & Rec?
January 19th, 2012 at 3:06 PM
Holy shit, COulier was the voice of Venkman on the “Real” Ghostbusters cartoon.
/rememebers Egon was a blonde for some reason
//pours one out for Ecto Cooler
January 19th, 2012 at 3:08 PM
/high fucking five
January 19th, 2012 at 3:08 PM
it’s scary isn’t it? perry is like a evolutionary mutant GWB and romney is kerry, except even worse.
January 19th, 2012 at 3:09 PM
Why is Phineas’s head a fucking triangle?
January 19th, 2012 at 3:09 PM
It seemed so forced.
Sudekis on SNL captures his persona very well. Seems robotic, cannot identify with anyone but wants to in the worst way.
January 19th, 2012 at 3:09 PM
hey Cleet, how do you feel about your results on the Jeopardy test? I am not feeling too confident in mine, I maybe got 15 questions right. I froze up on 3 or 4 that I knew for sure, which sucks.
January 19th, 2012 at 3:10 PM
So true.
January 19th, 2012 at 3:11 PM
Right down to being incredibly wealthy and having a lower tax rate than me
January 19th, 2012 at 3:11 PM
This is the best part. He so badly wants to little guy to like him, but he has never had to interact with them in reality, that when he’s forced to for political reasons, it’s a train wreck.
January 19th, 2012 at 3:11 PM
If anyone is interested the NFL Network is replaying the Broncos-Pats game at midnight. My DVR is already set.
January 19th, 2012 at 3:12 PM
to be fair, kerry only paid 13% to romney’s 15%.
January 19th, 2012 at 3:13 PM
/in 2003
//addendum to 73
January 19th, 2012 at 3:15 PM
lol newty hypocrisy.
January 19th, 2012 at 3:15 PM
None of what you said after ‘to be fair’ is fair in any way
January 19th, 2012 at 3:16 PM
Careful there spence, you might be accused of being one of those scumbag occupiers with that talk.
/mikenyc
January 19th, 2012 at 3:18 PM
depends on your definition of fair. they’re both white, no?
/reach
January 19th, 2012 at 3:19 PM
wouldn’t the occupiers support romney’s plan of eliminating taxes on interest and dividends and long term capital gains for people making under $100k?
January 19th, 2012 at 3:20 PM
wow, that sounds racist in hindsight…i meant fair as in fair skinned.
January 19th, 2012 at 3:22 PM
Is the site being slow and just continually refreshing for anyone else?
January 19th, 2012 at 3:22 PM
Looking at this election from a purely strategical point of view, it will be tough for Romney to shed the “Wall Street guy” label that he will be adorned with. It will be very tough for him to say that he’s out for the middle class (income) worker. I’d love to be a fly on the wall in his campaign’s HQ and listen to those strategy debates. I think they were so shocked that they got into this debate before winning the nomination and it took them back a bit. The Romney camp (assuming he wins, as expected) will want to make this all about Obama. His policies, ideals and everything, while Obama’s camp will want to make this all about an obstructionist Congress and Romney’s Wall Street background.
January 19th, 2012 at 3:24 PM
he’s an idiot for not embracing it. he should attack this from an angle that he’s intimately involved in wall street, knows the ills and knows how to fix it. the economy is such a huge issue, he’s doing himself a disservice by distancing himself from it.
January 19th, 2012 at 3:26 PM
it’s being slow, but not the 2nd part.
January 19th, 2012 at 3:27 PM
This election isn’t one where that will be a good thing. You can’t claim to be a Wall Street insider without opening yourself up to the massive populist rage (in both parties) towards Wall Street and the investment banks.
January 19th, 2012 at 3:29 PM
i disagree…americans love a good mea culpa.
January 19th, 2012 at 3:32 PM
What would be his mea culpa, though? What would he apologize for? Wall Street as a whole?
January 19th, 2012 at 3:34 PM
yea…he’d be better off positioning himself as a bridge between the financial elite and the rest of the people. he could directly address systemic problems and say how he’d fix them. he could apologize for his shady ethics and vow to make sure that practices like his are no longer tolerated.
i mean, shit, obama’s going to absolutely wreck him in a debate, right? so why not embrace the one arena where he has a leg up?
January 19th, 2012 at 3:39 PM
I don’t think Obama is as good of a debater as every keeps saying, but the fact that Romney is essentially tied (+/- 1 point) with Obama when the conversation has been all about the Republicans and Romney specifically isn’t a great sign for the Reps. I think Romney is a decent debater, but he hates being confronted straight up. That’s why I am looking forward to this debate tonight. Newt has to go for the kill in this debate, and both sides know it.
January 19th, 2012 at 3:40 PM
im praying to gob that newt comes out with a spear.
January 19th, 2012 at 3:42 PM
Newt has to win SC and FLA to have a shot, but even if he does, this could still be a brokered convention. In the end I think Romney will take Florida and the nomination, though.