Roundup: Washington Wizards Finally Win, Brandon Paul Beats Ohio State & Two Dog Videos (One Sad)
Elle McPherson … “Thieves Swipe Hundreds of Pounds of Frozen Meatballs” … if you text and walk, read this … incredible story of survival here, although the woman lost her toes … is Lindsay Lohan going to play Elizabeth Taylor in a movie? … double-murder rocks gated community in Tampa … “Why do smart kids grow up to be heavier drinkers?” … why were they having sex in a dead woman’s car? … after the Cowboys missed the playoffs, Tony Romo went to Vegas … verified twitter accounts don’t come cheap … before you skydive, do some research … “Marijuana doesn’t harm lung function, study found” … Mitt Romney won New Hampshire; Ron Paul finished 2nd … Demi Lovato is back on the market …
Flip Saunders and the Wizards got their first win of the season, 93-78 over Toronto. It’s too important to save for Ballin’! [Wash Post]
Brandon Paul erupted for 43 points and Illinois stunned No. 5 Ohio State, 79-74. [Sun-Times]
This is the Friars’ best win over a ranked team, and might have Cardinal fans panicking: Providence 90, Louisville 59. [Courier-Journal]
Marcus Coker, the 2nd leading rusher in the Big Ten, is transferring from Iowa. [Gazette]
How can you not like the phrase, “SEC Fatigue?” [SI]
Brutal: Deep pockets Kent St. alum pulls $1 million donation because of something the school newspaper did. [Jim Romenesko]
Here’s the preliminary roster for the USA 2012 Olympic basketball team. [Sheridan Hoops]
Does anyone have better road wins than Baylor? The unbeaten Bears won at Kansas State last night, 75-73. [AP]
Tim Tebow did a really nice thing for a 16-year-old girl who had endured 73 surgeries in 10 years. [Denver Post]
The Redskins took down a Kyle Shanahan pep-talk video. [Bog]
ESPN’s got a blog being written by an anonymous high school basketball recruit. [Rush the Court]
Surprised the Boston papers are even writing like Tebow and the Broncos have a chance. Please. [Herald]
Kyle Prater, former stud recruit who went to USC, is transferring closer to home, and he’ll pick either Wisconsin or Northwestern. [Tribune]
Haley Barbour pardoned eight killers on his way the door as Governor of Mississippi. [LA Times]
Dog swims up to a fisherman. What’s a dog doing in the water? Oh, this is why. That’s a very sad ending. [via Adam]
Stacey King, who we’ve mentioned once this season, is clearly angling for an ESPN gig with this over-the-top foolishness.
Dog playing in the leaves needs no introduction. [via Adam]
- Oxbow Upsets Orb To Win Preakness, No Triple Crown For 2013
- Charmin “Stop Skidmarks” Billboard Won At Charlotte Motor Speedway
- Mets Resort To Groupon To Sell Tickets, Including Yankees Games
- Oklahoma State Blocks Wes Lunt Transfer Options, Lest Mike Gundy Look Bad Indirectly
- Tony Allen: Here’s Video of Him Dancing in Front of a Green Screen Taping an ESPN NBA Promo
- A.P. on Oklahoma State Blocks Wes Lunt Transfer Options, Lest Mike Gundy Look Bad Indirectly
- A.P. on Jaguars Cheerleader Swimsuit Video is Something to Root For [Video]
- beardown on Oxbow Upsets Orb To Win Preakness, No Triple Crown For 2013
- Caribou on Jaguars Cheerleader Swimsuit Video is Something to Root For [Video]
- Black on Baby Goat Playing and Jumping on a Sleepy Pig Should Highlight Your Weekend [Video]
248 Responses to “Roundup: Washington Wizards Finally Win, Brandon Paul Beats Ohio State & Two Dog Videos (One Sad)”
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January 11th, 2012 at 8:40 AM
why were they having sex in a dead woman’s car?
Better question — why not?
January 11th, 2012 at 8:46 AM
I think they learned their lesson from the past two years when they professed that the Jets had no chance.
January 11th, 2012 at 8:46 AM
LEGALIZE IT
January 11th, 2012 at 8:47 AM
“anonymous” high school recruit blog? On ESPN?
I don’t trust this journalism any further than I can throw it. It’s probably ghost written by Coach K.
January 11th, 2012 at 8:48 AM
Redskins fans are still looking for a video of an effective Kyle Shanahan pep talk.
January 11th, 2012 at 8:48 AM
before you skydive, do some research
US Army Airborne school pushes through 500 a week. Go to the pros.
January 11th, 2012 at 8:48 AM
I “know people” who smoke almost every day and run well over 15 miles a week.
January 11th, 2012 at 8:50 AM
Deep pockets Kent St. alum pulls $1 million donation because of something the school newspaper did
The school paper reported he was up for some vary serious securities investigations. I think he’s pulling the $$$ b/c he doesnt have it or his actual wealth is fraudulent.
January 11th, 2012 at 8:50 AM
“Why do smart kids grow up to be heavier drinkers?”
Late 20th century poet Fred Durst famously said “Heavy is the head that wears the crown” in the opus “Re-Arranged”
January 11th, 2012 at 8:50 AM
Tin solider and Nixon’s coming
we’re finally on our own
January 11th, 2012 at 8:51 AM
i was under the impression that “can’t read, can’t write, kent state…” figured their newspaper was a denny’s children’s menu with mazes and shit.
January 11th, 2012 at 8:53 AM
7 deaths?!?!?! Yet they are still in bidness?
January 11th, 2012 at 8:54 AM
“Thieves Swipe Hundreds of Pounds of Frozen Meatballs” …
Guilty confession: I’d rather have frozen meatballs than what you’d get from an Italian ristorante. That said, I’d never get meatballs at an Italian place anyway.
At college guys broke into a Wendy’s cooler and got like a half ton of meat.
/did police blotter for paper while in college.
January 11th, 2012 at 8:54 AM
because they see how fucked up the world is earlier in life and it snowballs.
January 11th, 2012 at 8:56 AM
Not sure what “best win” means. I was there when we beat #1 Michigan in 76-77 I think. We also knocked off top-ranked Pitt a coupla’ years ago.
January 11th, 2012 at 8:56 AM
smart kids become heavier drinkers because they realize they can be funcitonally retarded (i.e. a drunk) and still excel in this spoon-fed retard world we live in.
January 11th, 2012 at 8:57 AM
isn’t that kinda the point? what rush would you get from skydiving if nothing could happen?
January 11th, 2012 at 8:57 AM
Tim Tebow did a really nice thing for a 16-year-old girl who had endured 73 surgeries in 10 years.
Hard not to like the guy just stop with all the coverage.
January 11th, 2012 at 8:57 AM
LEGALIZE IT
If I ever became POTUS that would be the 2nd thing I would do, right after finding out if aliens exist.
January 11th, 2012 at 8:58 AM
What, no Jimmer? Pffft.
January 11th, 2012 at 8:59 AM
why were they having sex in a dead woman’s car?
where’s the emphasis on this statement? sex? dead?
January 11th, 2012 at 8:59 AM
smart kids become heavier drinkers because they realize they can be funcitonally retarded (i.e. a drunk) and still excel in this spoon-fed retard world we live in.
Just leveling the playing field.
January 11th, 2012 at 8:59 AM
you doubt aliens exist?
January 11th, 2012 at 9:01 AM
This. I can’t imagine how much better I would have done in high school and college had I not drank. And I did well.
/burns Egg McMuffin
January 11th, 2012 at 9:02 AM
Jay Paterno and Brian Schottenheimer being fired on the same day has some nice parallels.
/legalize it
January 11th, 2012 at 9:02 AM
you doubt aliens exist?
Ancient Astronauts is one of my favorite wiki pages
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ancient_astronauts
January 11th, 2012 at 9:02 AM
Or they overcompensate socially so they’re not considered “nerds”.
January 11th, 2012 at 9:03 AM
Spencer is a Scientologist!
January 11th, 2012 at 9:04 AM
deja vu time…i was reading that page last friday. can’t remember how i ended up there.
/legalize it
January 11th, 2012 at 9:05 AM
spencer, you ever buy from lost golf balls? They have a really good sale on their AAAA stuff right now. ProV’s for $10/dz, ZStars for $9/dz, and One Tours for $7/dz.
January 11th, 2012 at 9:05 AM
I cannot stand Tebow’s overt religious messaging, the overpraising of his talent by the sports media, or his robotic responses to basic questions, but dammit if he isn’t a hell of a nice human being.
January 11th, 2012 at 9:05 AM
I want all doubt removed!
January 11th, 2012 at 9:05 AM
During out trip to the PSU/Bama game, I never heard the 5’6″ Spencer wheeze once. Roeth can confirm.
January 11th, 2012 at 9:07 AM
Research is for the weak.
January 11th, 2012 at 9:07 AM
never from there, but ive bought from knetgolf.com.
those are some damn good deals tho…might have to start stocking up tho i haven’t decided on what type of ball im gonna play in 2012. not sure if i wanna stick with the penta.
January 11th, 2012 at 9:07 AM
I would have gone with a threesome in the oval office, but whatever floats your boat.
they are trying to get medical marijuana legalization on the ballot in Arkansas in November. here’s hoping they roll in from the hills to vote for that one.
January 11th, 2012 at 9:08 AM
you ever buy from lost golf balls?
A few years ago Golf Digest took hundreds of golf balls, immersed them in water and then put them in regridgerators at 40 degrees and left them for a year. Distance loss is 2-3%.
January 11th, 2012 at 9:09 AM
Icing your Skull and Bones bros is a gateway.
January 11th, 2012 at 9:09 AM
Just remember that he and Sexton insist on leaking every charitable act. Boom, instant dislikability.
January 11th, 2012 at 9:09 AM
yeah, he’s a nice guy.
and no one would be talking about Tim Tebow’s success if Vonn Miller wasn’t on that team.
January 11th, 2012 at 9:09 AM
The dog vid is kinda sad but my son would kill for the setup that guy has. He would fish all day and come home burnt to a crisp. I’d be shitting my pants all day worrying if he had drown.
January 11th, 2012 at 9:10 AM
have you bought from there before? I am always a little skeptical of places like that unless someone else tests the waters first.
January 11th, 2012 at 9:10 AM
FUCK THIS GUY LOOK HOW MUCH ATTENTION HE’S TRYING TO GRAB
January 11th, 2012 at 9:11 AM
I can live with it.
January 11th, 2012 at 9:11 AM
When is the Jets post? Way too much going on for there not to be one. Unnamed sources saying Sanchez “showed us what he’s capable of” and “he thinks he’s improving but he isn’t”, plus all the rumors surrounding Sparano and Haley.
January 11th, 2012 at 9:11 AM
interesting…i figured it’d be a lot more than that.
January 11th, 2012 at 9:12 AM
It was a glorious morning to wake up and see that the JayPa reign of terror is over.
January 11th, 2012 at 9:13 AM
Bought from them many times. AAAA is the way to go. The balls are never pristine (buy AAAAA for that) but if you golf a lot and lose pills, it’s hard to beat.
Last year I got 200 ProV1 AAAAs for $100 shipped. Sure, every 3rd ball has a scuff or player’s mark, but they play just fine. I don’t notice much performance difference from a new one I find in the weeds.
January 11th, 2012 at 9:13 AM
He decided to play tight end?
January 11th, 2012 at 9:13 AM
yeah I can too. If you’re driving it 275 then that’s less than 10 yards. I shined my golf shoes and cleaned out my bag this weekend. Took all my best ones out of the bag so I don’t get suckered into using them on a sloppy day in the spring.
January 11th, 2012 at 9:13 AM
Dog playing in the leaves needs no introduction.
Dang, that looks like fun. Aaah, the days of innocence.
January 11th, 2012 at 9:14 AM
Please!!
I can’t watch the first dog video. Second is way cute!
January 11th, 2012 at 9:15 AM
The only other place I’d buy used is Dr Mulligan’s. He’s a little pricey but the balls look brand new (no occasional scuffs, even).
If you’re not sure about the Penta, try the ZStar or regular old ProV1. I’ve really liked the 20XI balls that I’ve found, too.
January 11th, 2012 at 9:15 AM
Does anyone have better road wins than Baylor? The unbeaten Bears won at Kansas State last night, 75-73. [AP]
we will see what happens when we play kansas next monday at Fogg Allen.
January 11th, 2012 at 9:15 AM
I cant wait until Sanchez is even worse next year and Jets fans are all out of goats to scape.
January 11th, 2012 at 9:15 AM
FYI Elle Macpherson is 47 years old.
January 11th, 2012 at 9:16 AM
I’m a cranky atheist who likes QBs that throw forward passes, but I’m coming around. Still, though, Wilhelm’s kinda right. No defensive improvement=no Tebow Time.
January 11th, 2012 at 9:16 AM
you can always use the busted ones for practice balls or “carefree’s.”
January 11th, 2012 at 9:16 AM
well put. it was hilarious seeing an unemployed never been to a BCS bowl houston nutt on a BCS discussion show the other day. sexton does it again.
January 11th, 2012 at 9:16 AM
Boy, McPherson still looks great.
January 11th, 2012 at 9:17 AM
Read this as “goats to scrape.”
January 11th, 2012 at 9:18 AM
Mint- where did you go to get those PROV’s? That sounds like a great deal.
January 11th, 2012 at 9:18 AM
is Lindsay Lohan going to live long enough play Elizabeth Taylor in a movie?
/fixed
January 11th, 2012 at 9:20 AM
Did she request him to hit an open receiver in stride for the first time in his life as her hospital bed request?
January 11th, 2012 at 9:20 AM
noted, I’m going to check it out. thanks for the heads up, even though I don’t think it was directed towards me.
January 11th, 2012 at 9:20 AM
I “know people” who smoke almost every day and run well over 15 miles a week.
Those are the most active pot heads ever
January 11th, 2012 at 9:20 AM
i LOVE the penta, just want to try new stuff. not a big srixon fan and if i switched, id probably go to the prov1x.
20xi’s feel any different? i hate nike balls, but don’t these have a different cover (i know it’s got a new core)?
January 11th, 2012 at 9:21 AM
It was a big sale + stacked coupon deal at lostgolfballs
Find that link above and they have some really good deals on their AAAA balls. For $10/dz the ProV’s are a great deal IMO.
January 11th, 2012 at 9:21 AM
it goes hand in hand on a team sport like this, but I seriously doubt we’re talking about a dramatic win over the Jets if Vonn Miller didn’t commit crimes against humanity with that Jets offensive line.
January 11th, 2012 at 9:22 AM
Absolutely. College buddy raced road bikes professionally, 70 mile training rides and such. Blazed constantly.
January 11th, 2012 at 9:22 AM
Elle is still really hot, IMO.
January 11th, 2012 at 9:22 AM
i love being actively stoned. the endorphin rush is enhanced
January 11th, 2012 at 9:22 AM
Why does everyone love Sparano? He was never even an offensive coordinator.
January 11th, 2012 at 9:22 AM
While I’m glad PSU will (hopefully) have a better offensive mind in charge of developing QBs, it should be said that Jay Paterno handled himself quite well during this scandal and there aren’t too many better examples of what it means to be a member of the PSU family. No one would have blamed JayPa for lashing out at the media after that irresponsible jihad against his family, but he was always the consummate professional. I hope he does well somewhere else.
January 11th, 2012 at 9:22 AM
/tears
January 11th, 2012 at 9:22 AM
I thought it felt different than the One Tour. I thought the One Tour was a pretty good ball, but the 20XI is more ProV than the One Tour ever was. When they finally go on sale in the lost-n-found market I’m going to try a couple dozen.
January 11th, 2012 at 9:23 AM
I wonder if Bill O’Brien actually interviewed Jay Paterno simply so he could point at him and laugh.
January 11th, 2012 at 9:23 AM
It was a glorious morning to wake up and see that the JayPa reign of terror is over.
Someone on here had a good comment last night saying that JayPa’s best pupil is currently a RB and special teams player in the NFL.
January 11th, 2012 at 9:23 AM
Think he was co-OC/Asst. Head Coach in Dallas.
January 11th, 2012 at 9:24 AM
Oh, and I meant to mention the B330S earlier as a ball that is tits.
January 11th, 2012 at 9:24 AM
Plenty of goats to scape, Rex and his GQ boy will be removed and Tim Tebow or Colt McCoy will be in place running an offense set up by Wade Phillips.
January 11th, 2012 at 9:24 AM
much appreciated.
just as i was getting on the “fuck nike golf” bandwagon, they go and release their current lineup. solid all around. heavily considering their wedges in 2012.
January 11th, 2012 at 9:25 AM
No need for Jay to lash out. That’s what Scott Paterno was for.
The emphasis, for me, is on “somewhere else”.
January 11th, 2012 at 9:25 AM
Hence why I didn’t watch it. I am having a bad day already.
January 11th, 2012 at 9:26 AM
absolutely…just can’t get good deals on em. i was doing buy 2 doz get 1 doz free of pentas all year. callaway i(s) aint bad either, but it’s def got a “synthetic” feel to it, for lack of a better word. i like the performance of em, but hate the feel.
January 11th, 2012 at 9:26 AM
Mizuno, Scratch or go home
January 11th, 2012 at 9:27 AM
Find that link above and they have some really good deals on their AAAA balls. For $10/dz the ProV’s are a great deal IMO.
and they are in decent shape? looks like they have penta’s at a good price. like those alot.
January 11th, 2012 at 9:28 AM
All-time favorite Michael Robinson moment.
January 11th, 2012 at 9:28 AM
Absolutely, I’ve met JayPa a few times and he’s really nice. He’s well read, mostly intelligent, and has the proper priorities/perspective in life. He was just terrible at his job.
January 11th, 2012 at 9:28 AM
Well, he gets rescued and taken to the vet in the end.
January 11th, 2012 at 9:28 AM
Oh, and I meant to mention the B330S earlier as a ball that is tits
concur. those some off my g15s nicely.
January 11th, 2012 at 9:29 AM
Anyone have a good site for used frolf discs? It should provide just as riveting discussion.
January 11th, 2012 at 9:30 AM
i need to try out the mp-t11′s…DG spinner shaft is making me leery.
January 11th, 2012 at 9:31 AM
discnation.com
January 11th, 2012 at 9:31 AM
Anyone have a good site for used frolf discs? It should provide just as riveting discussion.
ha — I had friends in college that were nerdy good at frolf and it weirded me out really badly.
January 11th, 2012 at 9:31 AM
BTW, if you’re ordering from LGB, use these codes for 10% and free ship (over $75)
REFER
SHIP4
January 11th, 2012 at 9:32 AM
awesome mint, thanks. good time of year to stock up.
January 11th, 2012 at 9:33 AM
AWESOME.
January 11th, 2012 at 9:33 AM
Their AAAA balls are very playable. Some have a little scuff here or there (not fish gill scuffs, just a spot where it’s worn) and they’ll have player markings or logos, but other than that they’re fine.
January 11th, 2012 at 9:34 AM
want this shirt.
January 11th, 2012 at 9:34 AM
I only liked tagging along with them because we always stopped at Baja Fresh afterwards.
Chipolte > Baja Fresh > Qdoba
January 11th, 2012 at 9:35 AM
FYI, if you are going to order from that lost golf balls website you can type in “refer” in the coupon code and get an additional 10% off.
January 11th, 2012 at 9:35 AM
Where can I find the 1-18 version?
January 11th, 2012 at 9:35 AM
Every Knick fan remembers "The Dunk" John Starks threw down over Horace Grant and Michael Jordan in game 2 of the 1993 Eastern Conference finals. Free Gold Watch pays tribute to probably one of the best moments in Knicks history with this tee, which features the memorable graphic on the front, and the number 23 fading into just "3" - zing!Hahahahahahahaha!
January 11th, 2012 at 9:36 AM
ha, should refresh
January 11th, 2012 at 9:37 AM
Is there a 2 part shirt series when Patrick Ewing gets dunked on by Scottie Pipper then completely embarrassed by MJ on that ridiculous spin move on the baseline? Is that a great Knick moment?
January 11th, 2012 at 9:37 AM
You fucking pricks.
January 11th, 2012 at 9:37 AM
January 11th, 2012 at 9:38 AM
What’s your problem?
January 11th, 2012 at 9:38 AM
this is why women aren’t allowed at country clubs.
January 11th, 2012 at 9:39 AM
Yay.
Fuck.
And so defines the career of one Johnathan Levell Starks.
January 11th, 2012 at 9:39 AM
Drinking is the only way to deal with morons: Smart people “booze so we can tolerate everyone else,”
This is completely true.
January 11th, 2012 at 9:40 AM
I should modify
Any Order By Number Real Mexican Food Place > Franchise burrito joints
January 11th, 2012 at 9:40 AM
HAHA!
fuck John Starks.
January 11th, 2012 at 9:42 AM
i think it’s bullshit that people can’t have big cats as pets. BULLSHIT.
January 11th, 2012 at 9:43 AM
The best basketball/Knicks shirt ever is the simple Jackson, Starks, Mason, Ewing, & Oakley shirt with the names down the front. I cannot for the life of me find a picture but it is perfect.
January 11th, 2012 at 9:43 AM
Not nearly as great as a moment as Derrick Rose dunking on a backup point guard.
January 11th, 2012 at 9:44 AM
SG…take this cute/funny pic as a token of apology for talking about golf for the fiftieth consecutive day.
/i have a problem
January 11th, 2012 at 9:44 AM
I’m still mad that I misplaced my Nowitzness shirt.
January 11th, 2012 at 9:45 AM
Did this dude just said this?
January 11th, 2012 at 9:46 AM
Prease takea pawl off my head.
January 11th, 2012 at 9:46 AM
+1
January 11th, 2012 at 9:46 AM
?
Obviously the Starks dunk was far better, but as far as “one of the greatest moments in Knicks history”, that’s just silly.
Don’t get all butthurt because my gravatar is that Rose dunk.
January 11th, 2012 at 9:46 AM
You can get Maine Coons. Those things are huuuuuuuuuuge.
January 11th, 2012 at 9:47 AM
yea, my aunt and uncle have two of them (carlos and rico)…they’re fucking gigantic. their paws are enormous.
but im talking like jaguar huge. all i want in life is a friendly jaguar pet that i can smoke with and scare pizza delivery people.
January 11th, 2012 at 9:48 AM
Funny stuff, Butters.
January 11th, 2012 at 9:48 AM
For you sir.
January 11th, 2012 at 9:49 AM
Stacey King isn’t angling for anything. Kendall Gill on the other hand? Very much so.
Hawkeyes need to fire Coach Erb. 5 RBs lost and our special teams suck.
January 11th, 2012 at 9:50 AM
The MVP has to have better dunks than over Dragic.
January 11th, 2012 at 9:50 AM
Nothing wrong with calling that one of the best moments in Knicks history. As far as “moments” go, it was pretty fucking awesome. Not everything has or can lead to a championship.
January 11th, 2012 at 9:51 AM
Well, we all want to be Bond villains. Speaking of Bond, I watched the first Hank Scorpio episode of the Simpsons yesterday and completely forgot about the Denver Broncos gag at the end. Funny as hell but a blown opportunity, they should’ve used the Jets.
January 11th, 2012 at 9:52 AM
There are a couple. But he is a 6’3″ PG, and that happens to be one of my favorites.
January 11th, 2012 at 9:52 AM
@Chicago I was just proud of myself being able to tell what play that was. Sometimes gravatars like that take for ever to finally realize what it is.
January 11th, 2012 at 9:53 AM
I have to shit so bad and our office bathroom is closed because there are some retards that have taken two days to fix a busted sink working in there. This situation is going to break bad.
January 11th, 2012 at 9:53 AM
You can get Maine Coons. Those things are huuuuuuuuuuge
what the hell is that?
January 11th, 2012 at 9:54 AM
I was actually pretty impressed.
January 11th, 2012 at 9:55 AM
Just a big gay housecast. Which is redundant.
January 11th, 2012 at 9:55 AM
Wait, how the hell have you been going the last two days?
January 11th, 2012 at 9:55 AM
This isn’t Ohio trolling or hate this is a genuine question:
Are the Columbus Blue Jackets currently the worst and/or most poorly run franchise in North American sports?
January 11th, 2012 at 9:55 AM
Why do you think he has to shit so badly?
January 11th, 2012 at 9:56 AM
Thanks SG!
My cat is 17 pounds. That is big enough for me
January 11th, 2012 at 9:57 AM
They started yesterday afternoon and left after a few hours. The sink is clogged and they literally could not fix it. Goddamn unions.
January 11th, 2012 at 9:57 AM
In the other sink.
January 11th, 2012 at 9:58 AM
instantly heard the breaking bad theme in my head.
/be the one who knocks.
January 11th, 2012 at 9:58 AM
Worst? Easily. Most poorly run? I think most NBA teams are probably worse run, then there’s the Redskins and Mets.
January 11th, 2012 at 9:58 AM
Let me guess, one guy worked while 2 guys stood around and watched him?
January 11th, 2012 at 9:59 AM
I saw the Pens are on a five game skid, mole. Those injuries obviously play a role but I wonder if people are starting to panic yet? Even the Devils have past them in the division standings.
January 11th, 2012 at 10:00 AM
/pours one out for LeBrons playoff buzzer beater 3 against the Magic
January 11th, 2012 at 10:00 AM
Yep. Literally.
January 11th, 2012 at 10:00 AM
Charlotte Bobcats have to be up there for horribly run.
January 11th, 2012 at 10:01 AM
Maybe top 5. Aren’t the Islanders worse? Pirates, Mets, Browns, Bills, and Skins are all worse off the top of my head.
January 11th, 2012 at 10:02 AM
Denver airport zings Steeler fans
January 11th, 2012 at 10:02 AM
They aren’t making the playoffs.
For as good as Shero is at his job, the organization has failed in that they only have one legitimate top six winger in the entire organization. The only forwards with trade values are Staal and Neal, and neither should be moved. They could trade parts of the defense, but Z and Martin’s contracts aren’t friendly to move.
You don’t win with a collection of third/fourth line wingers passed off as supposedly talented offensive players. They’re a mess. The team also looks to have completely given up and only Malkin is trying anymore. A RUSSIAN IS THE ONLY ONE TRYING.
January 11th, 2012 at 10:02 AM
browns and bills don’t belong on there because the hornets and raiders should be.
January 11th, 2012 at 10:03 AM
Pirates have decent young players and fan support exists but it is just jaded. Columbus has no talent and no fans. Probably a worse franchise decision than giving Florida or Phoenix teams.
January 11th, 2012 at 10:04 AM
Islanders have won 4 in a row over the Wings. somehow.
January 11th, 2012 at 10:04 AM
F U
And most likely yes. Sounds like Craig Patrick is there to review and eventually take over. I’m sure his notebook is long and detailed right now.
/What a fucking disgrace
//Looks out window and gazes at Nationwide Arena
January 11th, 2012 at 10:06 AM
The extra wattage hours used to light up that extra line of the LED has caused United to file for bankruptcy.
January 11th, 2012 at 10:07 AM
False about the CBJ. They sold the place out for about 6 years before everyone just got tired of them being terrible year in and year out.
MacLean sold the original owner a bag of goods and doomed the franchise early. Since then, they have hired incompetents and idiots to ruin what was a great fan base.
Now? It will take some heavy duty efforts to get people back. Winning will do it, but it will take sustained (2+ years) success to win people back.
January 11th, 2012 at 10:07 AM
yvegeni like america and club and BMW 5-series…no want return to caucasus to cut tree with cousin yuri and his hairy wife.
January 11th, 2012 at 10:07 AM
The Islanders are poorly run, for sure. Charles Wang has crippled a once proud franchise to the state of a paraplegic. Still think the Jackets are a quadriplegic. Once the Isles get a new arena and he sells, they’ll be fine. With the Jackets, I’m not sure even firing Scott Howson will fix them. They literally have only one valuable part (Rick Nash) and he’s completely given up on them. I can’t say I blame him though.
He’ll care again in about 4 weeks when he’s a Maple Leaf.
January 11th, 2012 at 10:07 AM
The Blue Jackets are terribly run — they get killed by Nationwide Insurance on the lease and lost millions of dollars each year. The team sucks and no one in the city cares about them.
January 11th, 2012 at 10:09 AM
God, we can hope. United is the worst. THE WORST.
January 11th, 2012 at 10:09 AM
Are the Columbus Blue Jackets currently the worst and/or most poorly run franchise in North American sports?
Points at Gravatar.
January 11th, 2012 at 10:10 AM
ha, like Steelers fans can read…
January 11th, 2012 at 10:10 AM
they get killed by Nationwide Insurance on the lease and lost millions of dollars each year.
They renegotiated that lease last summer for very very favorable terms.
January 11th, 2012 at 10:10 AM
Carryover from the Chill and new arena impact (Nationwide is great though, and SO fucking cheap to attend). Still never should have gotten a franchise.
January 11th, 2012 at 10:11 AM
They renegotiated that lease last summer for very very favorable terms.
I stand corrected — when I lived in Columbus (2004-2008) the lease was of much discussion.
January 11th, 2012 at 10:12 AM
He’ll care again in about 4 weeks when he’s a Maple Leaf.
What, pray tell, could the Leafs possibly offer?
/Nash never should have signed that extension
January 11th, 2012 at 10:13 AM
The Rockies would be in the discussion if they hadn’t lucked into that WS appearance. Still should be.
January 11th, 2012 at 10:13 AM
That is easily a top-5 all-time Simpsons episode. Homer, if you could kill someone on your way out, it would help me out a lot.
The funny thing about the Broncos gag is that in aired halfway through the ’96 season when the Broncos went 13-3 and should have won the Super Bowl (fuck the Jaguars) and then went on to win in ’97 and ’98.
January 11th, 2012 at 10:13 AM
The Oilers are not more poorly run than the Jackets. They have stockpiled young talent now and the only reason they got set back a few years ago was because they made a Cup run with a marginal team.
Rexall needs to be replaced but otherwise I think Tyler Dellow’s propaganda is getting to you, Geez.
January 11th, 2012 at 10:14 AM
Burke will personally kill Craig James.
January 11th, 2012 at 10:16 AM
Want some cream?
Uh …. no.
January 11th, 2012 at 10:16 AM
That is easily a top-5 all-time Simpsons episode.
Hank Scorpio, Frank Grimes, Hungry Hungry Homer, When the kids get snow bound in Springfield Elementary, Armen Tanzarian, 33 short stories about Springfield, Maude Flanders Death, Chili episode.
January 11th, 2012 at 10:17 AM
This place is a gold mine for a franchise, if well run. Especially in comparison to Carolina, Tampa, Miami, Phoenix.
There are hockey heads everywhere in this town (many are transplants from elsewhere). There is now hockey everywhere for tikes through high school, and it is still booming.
But, the city is used to successful teams (see OSU – jokes aside), so the expectations are there. The ability of the front office is not and never has been.
And Chill carryover? Meh. That was minor league and only brought about 4000 a night. The folks here will follow a better team – hell just a team that is decent for that matter. The product is just embarrassing.
I can barely watch now because I get too pissed at watching 3rd period blown leads and low minor league goaltending and good players who have quit.
January 11th, 2012 at 10:17 AM
Discussion topics today are hockey and used golf balls. Almost makes me pine for a Tebow/Sandusky/Sanchez tri-post.
January 11th, 2012 at 10:18 AM
They have stockpiled young talent now
So have the Islanders.
League Standings since the lockout:
EDM: 14, 24, 19, 21, 30, 30 (current 27)
CBJ: 25, 25, 25, 16, 27, 24(current 30)
January 11th, 2012 at 10:18 AM
It’s 22 Short Films About Springfield, you stupid fuck.
January 11th, 2012 at 10:19 AM
i was always fond of the water balloon (?) war in Springfield
January 11th, 2012 at 10:19 AM
golf talk is better than hoc-key talk by at least an order of magnitude.
January 11th, 2012 at 10:19 AM
It’s 22 Short Films About Springfield, you stupid fuck.
Yikes
January 11th, 2012 at 10:20 AM
ot/
nice, apple offers the “ballad of Heisenberg” as a ringtone on their itunes store.
/ot
January 11th, 2012 at 10:20 AM
The Oilers are very much on their way back to the top. The Jackets I don’t think have even hit rock bottom yet.
January 11th, 2012 at 10:21 AM
Not a list, just freeform off the top of my head:
Homer at the Bat, Milhouse Gets a Girlfriend (featuring Homer’s vocab tapes), Homer Babysitter Sex Offender, Monorail
January 11th, 2012 at 10:22 AM
And to think I stuck up for you yesterday when someone was bitching about the Tennessee coaching talk.
/puts Carl Edwards signed Aflac duck back into desk drawer
//throws out shipping label
January 11th, 2012 at 10:22 AM
Real titles, off the top of my head: You Only Move Twice, Homer’s Enemy, Hungry Hungry Homer, Skinner’s Sense of Snow, The Principal and the Pauper, 22 Short Films About Springfield, Alone Again Natura-Didully, El Viaje Misterioso de Nuestro Jomer.
I know WAY too much about The Simpsons to get the amount of ass I get.
January 11th, 2012 at 10:22 AM
The Oilers are very much on their way back to the top.
Oilers have been rebuilding since February 27, 2007. And the same clowns running the show then, run the show now.
January 11th, 2012 at 10:23 AM
I’m sorry KingGrizz, you know I love you baby.
/pushes Grizz down flight of stairs again
January 11th, 2012 at 10:23 AM
Might be my favorite. I do enjoy the Hank Scorpio one as well. The one where they go into Lisa’s future is also a good one. Oh, and Lisa’s Birthday.
January 11th, 2012 at 10:24 AM
Homer at the Bat, Milhouse Gets a Girlfriend (featuring Homer’s vocab tapes), Homer Babysitter Sex Offender, Monorail
These are all great. The clock editing in the Homer Babysitter sex offender when he is doin gthe interview always makes me laugh.
know WAY too much about The Simpsons to get the amount of ass I get.
That is very impressive and that is very impressive.
January 11th, 2012 at 10:24 AM
Yup. Dellow has gotten to you.
January 11th, 2012 at 10:24 AM
Others:
Marge takes bowling lessons, Homer vs all you can eat seafood, Bart writes love letters to Mrs. Kraboppel
January 11th, 2012 at 10:24 AM
Tom Chambers dunk >>>>>>>>> John Starks dunk
January 11th, 2012 at 10:25 AM
Terrible organization? The Red Wings, who loses to the Islanders 5 out of the last 6 games? Datsyuk should be MVP cause that team sucks ass without him out there.
January 11th, 2012 at 10:26 AM
you did? I take back everything I sad this morning then. good lookin’ out, brahsome.
January 11th, 2012 at 10:27 AM
Best Little Whorehouse in Springfield, Lisa baby story, Bart’s crush on the babysitter
January 11th, 2012 at 10:28 AM
Yup. Dellow has gotten to you.
The results speak for themselves. Two back to back last place finishes (pretty sure the Nordiques are the only other team to have done that) and on the way to another top 3 pick.
January 11th, 2012 at 10:28 AM
Homer vs. The Eighteenth Amendment, Homer Goes to College, You Only Move Twice, Bart the Fink, Sideshow Bob Roberts, Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk are my favorites.
January 11th, 2012 at 10:28 AM
Injuries
January 11th, 2012 at 10:29 AM
But the second best home sweater in hockey. Can’t take that away from them.
January 11th, 2012 at 10:30 AM
Hank Scorpio, Frank Grimes, Hungry Hungry Homer, When the kids get snow bound in Springfield Elementary, Armen Tanzarian, 33 short stories about Springfield, Maude Flanders Death, Chili episode.
Any Simpsons episode list MUST include “Bart Sells His Soul” and “Lisa’s Rival”
Alec Guinness…Genuine Class
Jeremy Irons…Jeremys Iron
January 11th, 2012 at 10:31 AM
Tell the boss I’m going to the back seat of my car with the woman I love and I won’t be back for 10 minutes!
January 11th, 2012 at 10:31 AM
Injuries
Who do you think is to blame for the lack of depth?
January 11th, 2012 at 10:32 AM
i went skydiving once
January 11th, 2012 at 10:32 AM
This one and the Tamacco one. And the one where Homer and Burns get snowed in during the work outing.
January 11th, 2012 at 10:32 AM
I motivate with donuts, AND the possibily of more donuts.
January 11th, 2012 at 10:34 AM
Holy Moses! This does taste like Grandma!
January 11th, 2012 at 10:34 AM
I like the Oilers road sweater better. Having since gotten my Gretzky home one, I wish I would have gotten the white road instead.
January 11th, 2012 at 10:34 AM
Oh also Brother from the Same Planet with the big brother program (Bart’s big brother was supposed to be played by Tom Cruise) simply for the fight between Tom and Homer.
His father … the drunken gambler??
That’s right!
Also for “I’m On My Way” which is one of the best redirect jokes they have ever done.
January 11th, 2012 at 10:34 AM
I smoke medicinal marijuana for my ashtma.
January 11th, 2012 at 10:35 AM
And the one where Homer and Burns get snowed in during the work outing.
Stand back! I have powers! Uh, POLITICAL POWERS!
January 11th, 2012 at 10:36 AM
Probably someone from Calgary.
January 11th, 2012 at 10:36 AM
Favorite peripheral Simpsons characters:
Lenny & Carl, Superintendent Chalmers, Mr. Burns, Skinner
January 11th, 2012 at 10:37 AM
Needs a LOT more Comic Book Guy.
January 11th, 2012 at 10:38 AM
“Hey dad, remember when you screamed, ‘I’m a hemophiliac!’, and then when he let you go, you kicked him in the back? Can you teach me that?”
“Well, the first thing you do, is scream like a girl. Then you kick him as hard you can, and run like hell.”
January 11th, 2012 at 10:39 AM
There is no wrong answer, I could do 50 — CBG is awesome as well.
January 11th, 2012 at 10:39 AM
Scorpio is definitely top 5. When Homer works at Bowling Alley too.
January 11th, 2012 at 10:39 AM
Maybe on the edge of ‘peripheral,’ but for me, that list begins and ends with Gil.
January 11th, 2012 at 10:40 AM
The foreign student exchange episode.
“Papa Homer, how did you get so learned?”
“Hehe, it’s pronounced learnd.”
January 11th, 2012 at 10:41 AM
Spencer, have you ever heard of the Savannah cat? They’re mixed with the serval and they are as close to a wild cat as you can legally get. They act very dog-like.
January 11th, 2012 at 10:41 AM
All of this. He always makes me laugh.
January 11th, 2012 at 10:42 AM
that list begins and ends with Gil.
Yes! I forgot about him. Gil is fantastic — “Oh boy Gil is going to get a sale!” Canyonero episode is a winner as well.
January 11th, 2012 at 10:42 AM
Snake!
January 11th, 2012 at 10:43 AM
no Duff Man? for shame.
January 11th, 2012 at 10:44 AM
One last question: have you ever seen the sun set…at three p.m.?
Aye, once. When I was sailing ’round the arctic
January 11th, 2012 at 10:44 AM
That list begins with Sideshow Raheem and ends with Handsome Pete.
January 11th, 2012 at 10:46 AM
i hadn’t actually…very interesting. pretty cool looking.
January 11th, 2012 at 10:47 AM
AWESOME!!!
January 11th, 2012 at 10:49 AM
siberian leopard cat…want.
January 11th, 2012 at 10:51 AM
Krusty, Gil, Ralph , Crazy woman with cats
January 11th, 2012 at 10:51 AM
These Calicos will rust right up on you. No! Gil, make the sale first!
Also, the phone call where he finds his wife cheating on him and then talks to the guy is great. No! No, don’t put him on the ph… Hey! How are ya?
January 11th, 2012 at 10:57 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vskv1Rpujwg
January 11th, 2012 at 10:59 AM
lol…”i brought this wall from home.”
January 11th, 2012 at 11:03 AM
Spencer – I saw an episode of Cats 101 that featured the Savannah and they showed a family who built a sun room for their Savannah so it had it’s own area for jumping and climbing. They had to fence in the whole room because it could jump so high. The cat got out once and people in the neighborhood started calling Animal Control saying a cougar was in their yard. A neighbor saw the cat and it meowed at him and did the normal cat rub-against-your-leg thing and the guy knew it was actually someone’s cat and not a wild cougar.
January 11th, 2012 at 11:03 AM
Fun facts.
The hammock district bit was an ad-lib by Albert Brooks (the outtakes for which were not included on the DVD extras, because the producers are now fucking incompetent).
The villain in the movie was originally going to be Hank Scorpio but Albert Brooks refused to do the character again, which was a good call on his part really.
January 11th, 2012 at 11:04 AM
disco stu
/back away, not today, disco lay-day!
January 11th, 2012 at 11:04 AM
that’s fucking great.
January 11th, 2012 at 11:06 AM
If there were an Endust or Pledge product designed for wombs it would sponsor that show.
January 11th, 2012 at 11:07 AM
i enjoyed the movie, i would have enjoyed it even more if Scorpio was brought back. totally different plot, it might play out more like a spoof of james bond movies, but based on what they did with 30 minutes of that character I could go for a full 90 minutes.
January 11th, 2012 at 11:10 AM
Eh. He was the best part of the movie for sure, but I don’t think they would have let Scorpio be the main focus. That movie was first and foremost a way to cram as many celebrity appearances in as possible and the one actual funny guy they used would have been the afterthought.
January 11th, 2012 at 11:13 AM
My favorite moment of his was during the Odyssey parody:
“Discus Stu has oozo for two-zo.”
January 11th, 2012 at 11:15 AM
This comment makes no sense. I understand where you were trying to go with that but it’s still senseless.
Both cats and dogs 101 are interesting shows.
January 11th, 2012 at 11:16 AM
Dusty wombs?
January 11th, 2012 at 11:27 AM
disco stu is strong.
“Did you know that disco record sales were up 400% for the year ending 1976? If these trends continues… AAY!”
January 11th, 2012 at 12:20 PM
mole that is wicked
January 11th, 2012 at 12:20 PM
Breaking Bad needs to work in a storyline in which Samuel L. Jackson pops up as Gus’s very pissed off brother.
January 11th, 2012 at 12:23 PM
Most annoying character in Simpsons history, followed by Moe.
I trace the precipitous decline of the show to when it started emphasizing lesser characters like Moe over stalwarts like Barney and Apu.