Bassmaster Champ Alton Jones Had a Great Day Fishing and Found a Human Corpse
Pretty much everything you need to know about the mindset of professional bass fishermen is encapsulated in this Facebook update by Alton Jones, one of the best pros in the world and the 2008 Bassmaster Classic champion:
“The fishing on Falcon was great,” Jones wrote. “But unfortunately, our fun was overshadowed when we found a dead body on the Mexican side of the lake.”
This is what is known gently as burying the lede. One, it’s never news that the fishing on Falcon Lake is great. That freak factory on the Mexican border is notorious for coughing up humongous fish by the boatload. I covered a tournament there in 2008 in which the top six finishers all beat the previous B.A.S.S. record for weight, this in a 40-year-old tournament organization. The winner, Paul Elias, boated more than 132 pounds in four days, which meant his average largemouth went close to 7 pounds. Alton Jones confirming that he was able to catch fish on Falcon is like Anthony Bourdain confirming that he was able to find a Coke in Times Square, or Michael Irvin reporting back that he noticed women in Las Vegas who will have sex with you in exchange for money.
Now we’re burying the best stuff, too. In his blog on bassmaster.com, Jones goes into more detail about finding the body that may turn out to be the remains of David Hartley, a Colorado man who was shot in the head by Mexican pirates back in September, 2010, according to his widow, who was jet-skiing with him at the time. Here’s what Jones and his two fishing buddies saw after one of them remarked that a pile of trash on the bank might be a skull and ribcage:
We got closer and saw a pelvis, two leg bones, arm bones, and within 15 seconds it was obvious what we were looking at. It was sort of surreal for a moment. It was 3 feet from the water, so I trolled over, staying in the boat, and looked closer. Then it hit home that yes, it was the remains of a human. Its feet were tied together, and it had rags of mud-caked clothes draped about it. There was no flesh, so it had been there for a while.
I’ve made this point previously, but it goes to show that if you want worthwhile life stories — real, unpredictable, crazy shit — you have to get outside. Hunters and anglers especially, but even hikers and climbers, wind up with better anecdotes in a given week than most people gather all year. Just remember to eat what you kill, pack heat in case you stumble onto a deep-woods meth operations (it happens) and for god’s sakes, watch your ass if you’re tooling around Falcon. Mexican pirates don’t play.

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25 Responses to “Bassmaster Champ Alton Jones Had a Great Day Fishing and Found a Human Corpse”
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January 2nd, 2012 at 4:05 PM
…the body that may turn out to be the remains of David Hartley, a Colorado man who was shot in the head by Mexican pirates back in September, 2010…
I remember reading about that, and how some in the media doubted the wife’s account because she wasn’t constantly hysterical about it.
January 2nd, 2012 at 4:08 PM
We got closer and saw a pelvis, two leg bones, arm bones, and within 15 seconds it was obvious what we were looking at.
Arods bed on any given Saturday morning?
January 2nd, 2012 at 4:11 PM
I found a human knee joint sawed off just above and below the joint in a grad student housing garbage area while in grad school. Cartilage still intact.
Turned it in to authorities and never found out what happened.
January 2nd, 2012 at 4:12 PM
Anthony Bourdain confirming that he was able to find a Coke
You could have just gone with coke.
the body that may turn out to be the remains of David Hartley, a Colorado man who was shot in the head by Mexican pirates back in September, 2010…
The mexican side of the lake is probably littered with bodies.
January 2nd, 2012 at 4:13 PM
Dead bodies in the water are gross. I thought it would be cool to see a dead body, but it’s not cool at all.
January 2nd, 2012 at 4:17 PM
e found a dead body on the Mexican side of the lake.”
While on the American side puppies and kittens continue to frolic on the shore!
January 2nd, 2012 at 4:17 PM
I thought it would be cool to see a dead body, but it’s not cool at all.
I’ll take your word for it on dead bodies in the water but I can confirm that seeing dead people lying around isn’t great. Even when they had it coming to ‘em. Some guy went on a shooting rampage in Hollywood a few weeks ago (I didn’t notice it being a huge story nationwide but it was a big story in L.A.) and I just happened to be over there about an hour later. I saw that guy lying in the street covered by a coroner’s sheet and it didn’t make me feel particularly good. I saw the video of him shooting later on and I was pretty thankful to have been late to the party.
January 2nd, 2012 at 4:18 PM
I thought it would be cool to see a dead body, but it’s not cool at all.
Story time with Clay? We need details.
The only dead bodies I’ve ever seen were cadavers I cut on and at funerals. My brother went to Iraq and Sri Lanka (after the tsunami.) His work wanted to send him to New Orleans after Katrina. He declined by telling them, “I’ve seen enough dead bodies for one lifetime.”
January 2nd, 2012 at 4:22 PM
I’m guessing your wife showed it to you? I’ve seen my fair share of cadavers, and a few more recent ones for autopsies, but I don’t think medical setting counts, since it’s a bit more controlled/expected. Doesn’t matter how many cadavers I see, I’m still losing my shit finding a rotted corpse in a lake.
January 2nd, 2012 at 4:24 PM
I used to work in downtown Cleveland and one winter a homeless guy died on a bench just outside my office window. Saw him sitting there in the morning and a few hours later the Cuyahoga County coroner was covering up the body
January 2nd, 2012 at 4:24 PM
I was driving down I-65 in KY once, and came upon a motorcycle accident maybe a minute after it happened, and a guy had lost control of his bike merging on the highway, and ended up with his head under the tire of a semi, so you can imagine how that looked. I stopped and there was already a few people there, nothing you could do, but prob took another 5 minutes to calm down enough to continue driving. Scary shit.
January 2nd, 2012 at 4:24 PM
how are those Oregon helmets not a distraction? Fucking glare everywhere. Should be illegal.
January 2nd, 2012 at 4:26 PM
Sounds like a knee replacement?
January 2nd, 2012 at 4:30 PM
i caught a 7.5 pound bass once
also, when i was a boy, visiting my dad in el salvador around the time of death squads–mid to late 70s–i saw bodies on the street but not up close. i may be confusing that with their newspaper fornt pages, which were daily closeup shots of assassinated folks
January 2nd, 2012 at 4:30 PM
Story time with Clay? We need details.
I told you guys this story last year when it happened, about the dead body in the river by my house.
January 2nd, 2012 at 4:30 PM
Turned it in to authorities and never found out what happened.
Sounds like a knee replacement?
Sounds like you have a bone to pick with the authorities.
January 2nd, 2012 at 4:31 PM
and ended up with his head under the tire of a semi, so you can imagine how that looked.
we probably can, but please, this is where you can make a name for yourself with juicy, ogrish details
/pours out one for ogrish.com
January 2nd, 2012 at 4:32 PM
I told you guys this story last year when it happened, about the dead body in the river by my house.
well, fuck sorry to bother you. you must be too busy not sleeping and yelling at something to re-tell
January 2nd, 2012 at 4:34 PM
told you guys this story last year when it happened, about the dead body in the river by my house.
Was a van involved?
January 2nd, 2012 at 4:36 PM
Was a van involved?
nah, just a guy on a bike who went missing, and turns out, fell over a bridge to his death.
January 2nd, 2012 at 4:36 PM
+1 chris farley cap’n
January 2nd, 2012 at 4:36 PM
Sounds like you have a bone to pick with the authorities.
I was half in the bag when the campus police came and even farther along when the sheriff took my statement. I figured if I asked about it I might look suspicious. More than 10 years now.
January 2nd, 2012 at 4:47 PM
Arrrrrrrrrrrrr!
January 2nd, 2012 at 4:49 PM
Mexican pirates
Arrrrrrrrrrrrr!
I hoped you rolled those ‘r’s
January 2nd, 2012 at 5:59 PM
This thread was all over the place. I liked it. Dead people. Fishing. Pirates & International Politics.