The Miami Heat 2011-2012 Intro Video Is Douchetastic

This is the intro video for the Miami Heat home games this season. It is incredible and absolutely dripping with douche. It has all the ingredients for a douchetastic video. Let’s consult the checklist:

LeBron James? Check.
Chris Bosh looking over his sunglasses like he’s in a rap video from the early 90′s? Check.
Shane Battier in a double-popped collar? Check.
James Jones in a t-shirt and scarf? Check.
Mike Miller in multiple denims? Check.
Juwan Howard pretending to enjoy music made after 1973? Check.
Dwyane Wade in a boat captain’s outfit? Check.

While the Heat may not be relishing the villain identity this year, they’re certainly not giving the haters any less material to work with. The Heat kick off their home schedule tonight on TNT against the Boston Celtics.

Previously: Mike Bibby’s Stylin’ Miami Heckler
Previously: The Miami Douche Is Just Messing With Us Now
Previously: Miami Douche Attended The Heat’s Series-Clincher

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17 Responses to “The Miami Heat 2011-2012 Intro Video Is Douchetastic”

Broccoli Beef Says:
December 27th, 2011 at 6:54 PM

The amount of movement shown by Eddy Curry in the video is about as much movement as he shows on court, that was nice continuity there.

Babar 2.0 Says:
December 27th, 2011 at 6:55 PM

Needs more uggs.

Billy Buckner Says:
December 27th, 2011 at 6:57 PM

Where’s everybody’s douche hero?

VladimirCrouton Says:
December 27th, 2011 at 6:59 PM

What? ESPN told me all during X-Mas that, “LeBron’s a good guy, he’s changed, have sympathy for him and he’s a victim.” That ain’t true? He’s really just a self absorbed douche bag that doesn’t get it?

Anti-KC Res Says:
December 27th, 2011 at 7:10 PM

Juwan Howard is sitll playing? Holy crap.

/doesn’t follow the NBA.

The Wayne Fontes Safari Says:
December 27th, 2011 at 7:10 PM

It was nice of them to let Erik Spoelstra clean the stage before the video shoot.

The Fan's Attic Says:
December 27th, 2011 at 7:23 PM

Who are the marketing folks who thought this up? They should be fired.

vezina Says:
December 27th, 2011 at 7:27 PM

your momma thought it up

captain_spalding Says:
December 27th, 2011 at 7:34 PM

cant understand why they are so hated.

Billy Buckner Says:
December 27th, 2011 at 7:41 PM

cant understand why they are so hated.

Then you’re an idiot.

scripty Says:
December 27th, 2011 at 7:48 PM

Lebron was barely in the last 25 percent of that video.

scripty Says:
December 27th, 2011 at 7:49 PM

At first I was thinking this was going to be ironical, then watching it I was stunned. Just do the Carlton and complete the look.

The Wayne Fontes Safari Says:
December 27th, 2011 at 7:54 PM

cant understand why they are so hated.
Then you’re an idiot.

vezina Says:
December 27th, 2011 at 7:55 PM

Then you’re an idiot.

i’m throwing a flag. unnecessary name-calling, number billy buck

go run 5 miles in your slippers

Professor Says:
December 27th, 2011 at 8:00 PM

This video guarantees they will never win a championship. There was bad karma already, and D-Wade’s attempt to dress like Thurston Howell III from “Gilligan’s Island” sent things over the edge.