Geez. Only thing worse than being named Urban is being named after someone named Urban. Poor kid. Shitball name, coupled with shitball parents. He doesn’t stand a chance…

Could be worse. He could have moronic parents who would have named him Adolph Hitler Wiley or Goebbels Wiley, like those moronic parents from New Jersey.

Interesting story though.

I can’t help it, I’m long winded.

/especially when I fart

I’ll make it as succinct as possible.

Nice try.

Interesting story though.

Thank God! And take that dumb bitch AD with you too.

Said to be locked in, no longer locked in and ASU is said to have broken off of talks.

Thank Jeebus some boosters called Lisa Love and told her to get back in the kitchen.

/not currently following story, but love a good clusterfuck

I’ll make it as succinct as possible. June met with ASU officials at DFW airport Saturday. They loved him and offered him the job. June made it known that he met with ASU and was interested in their job. SMU’s AD then made it clear to June that we’ll do what it takes to make him happy here, including staff raises, an Indoor Practice Facility and more academic support staff. Admissions for athletes likely being the only sticking point. June said that was fine with him but then said he didn’t like the site of the proposed IPF and then called his coaching staff back from the road yesterday afternoon to have an emergency meeting. He told the team in the morning he was staying here, then he told his coaches last night he was prepared to go to ASU. ASU offered him a deal with June only having to finalize the buyout from SMU. ASU donors and boosters meanwhile exploded, vehemently saying that they didn’t want June because they were concerned at the peremptory way he left his previous coaching positions. Meanwhile June told two recruits from California to change their commitments from SMU to ASU, which they promptly did. SMU players are posting shit about June on their Twitter and Facebook pages now with one o-lineman saying that June “fucked them over”. Now ASU is saying that June is no longer a candidate for their job.

That is a clusterfuck if there ever was one.

Please explain.

/not currently following story, but love a good clusterfuck

Said to be locked in, no longer locked in and ASU is said to have broken off of talks.

Not sure that any of you are following the Junes Jones to Arizona State story, but it has officially become a clusterfuck.

Please explain.

/not currently following story, but love a good clusterfuck

ORLANDO —
The Orange County Sheriff’s office says a baseball coach was busted in a sex sting Tuesday.

Sheriff’s deputies say Robert Francis, 31, planned to have sex with a 14-year-old girl he met online.

The girl was actually a sheriff’s deputy, who told him to show up at a Kirkman Road home.

According to the arrest report, Francis arrived with condoms, wine, a camera, and a bag of Peanut M&M’s

I love my state!!!!

ELLLIZZZAAABEEETHHHH…..WILLLLLLLL YOOOUUUUUUU MAARRRYYY MEEEEEE???

And it’s not his fault that his mother wants to now change his stupid middle name because Urban Meyer has accepted the head coaching position at Ohio State.

So Spurrier gets a pass coaching in the same conference? But two-time national champion Urban gets his name off the long-form? I don’t get it.

That’s what I was thinking. Now Florida just needs to hire Sweatervest and the circle will be complete.

Did Lex Luger die?

Nope, he’s still alive, but he does have a ton of health issues.

Lex Luger is amazing — couple highlights:
1. He used to drive around the US in a bus named “The Lex Express” and body slam people
2. He has great youtube videos, notably when he says “THESE SHIRTS ARE TOO TIGHT TOO BILLY!” and when he can’t say “WCW”
3. He was married to Miss Elizabeth

4. He killed Miss Elizabeth

Well, not an amazing highlight, but he may have.