Brandon Marshall Was Briefly Detained For Not Paying His Cab Fare
With so many tragic stories of athletes driving while intoxicated in recent years, a tale of one who took a cab after being out all night should be applauded. Of course, Brandon Marshall was involved, so it did not end without incident.
Two weeks ago, after attending a party for Karlos Dansby, Marshall climbed in a taxi in the early morning hours and thought he was heading home. He fell asleep in the cab. When he awoke, he was at the Fort Lauderdale Airport, and asked to pay $142.
At that point, he did what any reasonable person would have done who, without any one to split the fare with, was presented with an exorbitant tab by a driver who probably drove around the block a few extra times–he told him he had to use the restroom before they headed to his house. Of course, Marshall then proceeded to loop around and exit to another cab.
The full incident report is here. The second driver turned Marshall into authorities, and he ultimately settled the tab for both drivers without incident. At least Marshall is showing signs of maturity. Using the “gotta go” trick is a step up the evolutionary ladder.
[photo via Getty]

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99 Responses to “Brandon Marshall Was Briefly Detained For Not Paying His Cab Fare”
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December 1st, 2011 at 12:10 PM
ha! dude probably was so drunk he said to go to the airport anyway…
December 1st, 2011 at 12:13 PM
I’ve done this before and I have also tried to give a cabby directions and got them completely wrong.
December 1st, 2011 at 12:13 PM
Patrick Kane approves
December 1st, 2011 at 12:15 PM
Brandon Marshall would never do this. His other personality, Marshall Brandon, on the other hand…
December 1st, 2011 at 12:16 PM
David Boston thinks he should have kicked the cab driver’s ass.
December 1st, 2011 at 12:17 PM
Seems like a good dude.
December 1st, 2011 at 12:17 PM
I’ve done this before
It was a 10 minute cab fare and I wake up $45 dollars later north of my apartment. Fuck you dude here’s twenty, he goes berserk calls the police. I am briefly detained and sober up and explain where I was coming from and where I was going. The police drove me home.
December 1st, 2011 at 12:21 PM
“Not really.”
- Bobby Petrino
December 1st, 2011 at 12:21 PM
Ha. I just told him to pull over and wait and looked at two street signs for about 5 minutes until I figured out what the fuck was going on and where I was. Then I threw up before I got back in the cab and told him to drive to a jack in the box.
December 1st, 2011 at 12:21 PM
Who hasn’t gotten out of a cab, sober or not, because the driver tried to screw them by driving out of the way? I have.
December 1st, 2011 at 12:21 PM
I know marshall is a little nuts but I also know cabbies are sleazier than Marshall is nuts
December 1st, 2011 at 12:24 PM
Life was so much easier back in the day when we could just drive drunk.
December 1st, 2011 at 12:25 PM
Why were you still around when the cops showed up?
December 1st, 2011 at 12:25 PM
Cab drivers are the worst… especially when they think you’re drunk. I can’t count on one hand the number of times I’ve had to tell them to fuck off when they start going way out of the way/drive in circles to drive me the 12 blocks back to my place because they think I’m not paying attention.
December 1st, 2011 at 12:25 PM
Look. At. Sign.
Driver only speaks three words of English.
December 1st, 2011 at 12:25 PM
If he was only a little buzzed he should have just drove home.
/cursed
December 1st, 2011 at 12:27 PM
Is the blonde in that picture a pornstar? Not that I recognize her.
December 1st, 2011 at 12:28 PM
I’ve been on a Critic kick again the last couple days, I wish more people got the reference when I say “What a Duketastrophe”
December 1st, 2011 at 12:28 PM
Is the blonde in that picture a pornstar? Not that I recognize her.
I recognize her as well and I couldn’t name more than two pornstars. I think she’s just one of those socialites.
December 1st, 2011 at 12:28 PM
that white girl is scary looking.
December 1st, 2011 at 12:28 PM
coulda been a great segment of COPS if you had a mad drunken dash from the cabbie and cops.
December 1st, 2011 at 12:28 PM
I can’t stand taxis.
/suburbs 4 evah
December 1st, 2011 at 12:28 PM
I have no one to envy. I envy you having me to envy.
December 1st, 2011 at 12:29 PM
Is the blonde in that picture a pornstar? Not that I recognize her.
Not sure, but I bet she could suck a golf ball through a garden hose.
December 1st, 2011 at 12:29 PM
Aspiring pornstar
December 1st, 2011 at 12:29 PM
I don’t get it.
December 1st, 2011 at 12:29 PM
/suburbs 4 evah
dealing with cab drivers>>>>>>>>>>>>>>living in suburbs
December 1st, 2011 at 12:30 PM
dealing with cab drivers>>>>>>>>>>>>>>living in suburbs
Agreed.
December 1st, 2011 at 12:30 PM
Why were you still around when the cops showed up?
No idea but the leading theory would be I was arguing with the cab driver
December 1st, 2011 at 12:31 PM
Starlet of the redtube.
December 1st, 2011 at 12:32 PM
Nope.
December 1st, 2011 at 12:32 PM
Nope.
Only exception is if you have kids. Otherwise, agree to disagree.
December 1st, 2011 at 12:33 PM
she has the expressive face of a RealDoll.
December 1st, 2011 at 12:34 PM
I must give props to a Chicago cab driver that drove me home after a bachleor party a few years back. I was wasted and somehow managed to get kicked out of the bar we were at. Apparently I was placed in a cab and sent back to my buddy’s place. I have to recollection of getting in or out of the cab. In the morning I still had some cash on me, so he didn’t completely take me for everything that I had. I also puked on building that I got out at. The puke splatter looked fantastic the next morning.
December 1st, 2011 at 12:35 PM
Horse Faced Girls>>>>dealing cab drivers>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>living in the suburbs
December 1st, 2011 at 12:35 PM
suburbs>>>>>>>>>dealing with street rats (homeless)
December 1st, 2011 at 12:35 PM
cabbie drive code.
December 1st, 2011 at 12:36 PM
This must be an east coast thing because other then about a 2 mile section in west coast cities, its all suburbs.
December 1st, 2011 at 12:36 PM
suburbs>>>>>>>>>dealing with street rats (homeless)
street rats>>>>>>>>>>>>Range Rover driving soccer moms in the burbs
I just ignore/step over the homeless
December 1st, 2011 at 12:37 PM
This must be an east coast thing because other then about a 2 mile section in west coast cities, its all suburbs
nobody lives in downtown phonenix… at all? seattle’s got a nice livable downtown, no?
December 1st, 2011 at 12:37 PM
so a friend of mine went to the OSU/UM game last weekend and Justin Boren was sitting a few seats down from him with his dad. some douche michigan fan walks past him (i don’t think the kid knew who Justin was) and immediately flicked him and his dad off yelling “FUCK OSU” “FUCK YOU” etc. Justin immediately got up out of his seat and grabbed the kid by the throat and refused to let go. it took Justin’s dad and Boom Herron’s dad to get Justin to let go of the kids throat. good times.
December 1st, 2011 at 12:38 PM
i don’t get the suburb hate.
then again, i could see how people who grew up watching “the ‘burbs” would be disillusioned when they get out there.
December 1st, 2011 at 12:39 PM
she has the expressive face of a RealDoll.
I’m happy to say that I don’t know what this is.
/farts
//enjoys the smell
December 1st, 2011 at 12:39 PM
then again, i could see how people who grew up watching “the ‘burbs” would be disillusioned when they get out there.
I grew up in the burbs. And Atlanta is one big suburb clusterfuck outside the perimeter. Do. not. like.
December 1st, 2011 at 12:39 PM
my classic cab move is to get in and tell them I know where I am going, and that I will know where I am at when I see it. that has backfired on me more than once.
December 1st, 2011 at 12:40 PM
Give them a dime or don’t make eye contact whats the big deal?
/does not give a dime
December 1st, 2011 at 12:40 PM
Benedict Boren is all class.
December 1st, 2011 at 12:40 PM
/does not give a dime
/tips cap
December 1st, 2011 at 12:41 PM
i don’t get the suburb hate.
Really? You don’t get the hate? You don’t get the completely soulless existence of living in suburbia?
December 1st, 2011 at 12:41 PM
Well of course people live there but thats certainly a minority of the people in those two places. I lived in downtown Seattle and it was fan fuckingtastic but you could also live in a ‘suburb’ 5 minutes away from downtown.
December 1st, 2011 at 12:42 PM
Is the blonde in that picture a pornstar? Not that I recognize her.
She’s a mannequin at Macys
December 1st, 2011 at 12:43 PM
I’m told by a friend that downtown Phoenix is pretty quiet after working hours.
December 1st, 2011 at 12:44 PM
I lived in downtown Seattle and it was fan fuckingtastic
Thinking about moving there on a whim… not sure if I could handle all the cloudy days though… is it really as bad as people make it seem? Or is it like everyone talking about Atlanta traffic like it’s Mumbai at rush hour and you’ll spend 6 hours a day in your car, when in reality, it’s not THAT bad. Your thoughts?
December 1st, 2011 at 12:45 PM
i don’t get the suburb hate.
Really? You don’t get the hate? You don’t get the completely soulless existence of living in suburbia?
/moderated
December 1st, 2011 at 12:45 PM
It is. It has been getting a better night life lately but overall still pretty tame. Which is why I live in old town Scottsdale.
December 1st, 2011 at 12:46 PM
Cab drivers in Boston are the worst on the planet. They never know where anything is. A lot of that is because there is no grid pattern and there are two Tremont Streets, two Cambridge Streets, and five (5!) Washington Streets in this stupid city. But it’s still annoying when you have to give them directions every time.
December 1st, 2011 at 12:46 PM
Craig James makes cab drivers pay him
December 1st, 2011 at 12:47 PM
some fascinating documentaries on people who have these and treat them like real people. creepy, insightful, and makes you feel normal no matter how much time you spend on TBL.
December 1st, 2011 at 12:47 PM
And my links didn’t get reposted.
But this is suburbia to me: http://www.2getthere.eu/wp-content/uploads/suburbs3.jpg
Fuck. That. Noise.
December 1st, 2011 at 12:47 PM
Boston is by far the worst major city in the country to navigate in if you’re from out of town. Just a result of the city being old as shit and them never re-doing their street grid.
December 1st, 2011 at 12:48 PM
I almost inserted my cab driver goes to wrong place story in the post.
We were at a wedding in New Orleans, out all night the night before of course, and got separated from one of our friends. Because he was a problem gambler, he wound up at the Harrah’s near the Quarter when we got hold of him at like 7 am on his cell. The dealer kept telling him he couldn’t talk on the phone at the table and he was loud/drunk. I told him the name of the hotel.
Apparently, he caught a cab, went to the wrong hotel, AND they gave him a room. He passed out. We couldn’t find him. He didn’t call us that evening until the reception was under way.
December 1st, 2011 at 12:48 PM
ms… you live in downtown dallas?
December 1st, 2011 at 12:49 PM
no, but i can afford to own a place and have a nice quiet street with a reasonable amount of land in central NJ.
it also doesn’t smell.
December 1st, 2011 at 12:50 PM
ms… you live in downtown dallas?
No, not in downtown. But I’m about a 5 minute freeway drive from downtown. I live at Greenville and Lovers.
/those are big streets in Dallas
December 1st, 2011 at 12:50 PM
Its not as bad as people make it out to be. but for 7 months a year you will see more clouds than sunlight but in the summertime it is awesome. Ideally I would like to one day have a summer home there and a winter home in Phoenix.
/buys lottery ticket
December 1st, 2011 at 12:51 PM
Michigan has returned to glory
December 1st, 2011 at 12:51 PM
/buys lottery ticket
thanks for the insight. much appreciated.
December 1st, 2011 at 12:52 PM
it also doesn’t smell.
When did I say it smelled? I just hate how all the houses look the same, all the landscaping (or lack thereof) looks the same. On House Hunters, people go to these Mcmansions in the suburbs and then are blown away when two otherwise identical houses having different types of crown molding. That’s not an existence to me. That’s as soul killing as fluorescent lights in an office building.
December 1st, 2011 at 12:53 PM
Michigan has returned to glory
3 straight years of below average (at best) football will do that to you.
December 1st, 2011 at 12:53 PM
/those are big streets in Dallas
yeah, i’ve been through town a few times.
/thinks it’s funny that lovers ln is a major thoroughfare in a major city
December 1st, 2011 at 12:54 PM
I’ll second that. Been there twice. Been lost twice. Phoenix has to be the easiest city to navigate. Just one big grid.
December 1st, 2011 at 12:54 PM
/broadbrush’d
December 1st, 2011 at 12:54 PM
On House Hunters
ghey
December 1st, 2011 at 12:57 PM
/broadbrush’d
Probably. And I certainly may change my mind when we have kids, but right now, neither or nor the missus has any desire to live in the burbs.
December 1st, 2011 at 12:57 PM
I’ll second that. Been there twice. Been lost twice. Phoenix has to be the easiest city to navigate. Just one big grid.
Milwaukee’s a grid. Madison sucks due to the major thoroughfare’s that are one way. Atlanta sucks because there are about 6 streets with Peachtree in the name in some way: Peachtree Way, Peachtree Road, W Peachtree Ave, E Peachtree Ave… Neither are close to being as bad as Boston
/have yet to see an actual peachtree living down here
GA got the moniker “the peachtree state” because people didn’t understand that natives were saying “pitch” tree (tall pines that produce sap)
///ms621′d
December 1st, 2011 at 12:58 PM
Was at a osu game a few yrs back and the Friday night before we were out in the arena district and taking a cab back to my buddies place. Cab driver (nice guy) is going some way we weren’t familiar with and this cunt I was with decides to start screaming at the guy and punches him in the back of the head. The driver freaks the fuck out, takes the next exit drives or like 10 minutes and makes us get out. No clue where we were it took our friends 2 hours to find us after we were randomly stumbling around looking for any major street.
Those two hours were filled with me and my friend calling this psycho bitch any name we could think of
December 1st, 2011 at 12:58 PM
ghey
Spit the cum out of your mouth before you talk. It’ll help you speak clearer.
December 1st, 2011 at 12:59 PM
yeah, i’ve been through town a few times.
/thinks it’s funny that lovers ln is a major thoroughfare in a major city
I grew up in Houston where it takes at least 15 minutes to get anywhere. Living in Dallas, I’m a short drive from almost everything and I love it. I can’t imagine giving up my 10 minute morning commute, though I know I probably will be in the next year or so.
December 1st, 2011 at 12:59 PM
Who in the fuck wants to drive to a bar. Also I need to be within walking distance of multiple bars in case I have to avoid one for a while or one has started serving me water.
December 1st, 2011 at 1:01 PM
GA got the moniker “the peachtree state” because people didn’t understand that natives were saying “pitch” tree (tall pines that produce sap)
///ms621′d
Ha. I actually did not know that.
December 1st, 2011 at 1:02 PM
I could eat a peach for hours.
/also ms621′d
December 1st, 2011 at 1:03 PM
I could eat a peach for hours.
/also ms621′d
True story.
December 1st, 2011 at 1:05 PM
Ha. I actually did not know that.
It’s funny.. because the tall, skinny pines ARE everywhere… and I couldn’t tell you what a peachtree even looked like.
December 1st, 2011 at 1:06 PM
when I used to drive from Austin to Fayetteville, no matter the day of the week or time, getting through Dallas was minimum an hour and there was always a traffic jam. I couldn’t imagine living there.
December 1st, 2011 at 1:08 PM
no matter the day of the week or time, getting through Dallas was minimum an hour and there was always a traffic jam. I couldn’t imagine living there.
that’s the thing though… if you live in the city, you rarely have to get on to the clusterfuck that are the freeways in major cities that are all clogged by suburbanites making their two hour commute back to their mcmansions. surface streets, FTW!
December 1st, 2011 at 1:10 PM
when I used to drive from Austin to Fayetteville, no matter the day of the week or time, getting through Dallas was minimum an hour and there was always a traffic jam. I couldn’t imagine living there.
I rarely have to use a freeway here. The only time I use the freeway is if I’m going downtown, if I’m going to uptown, or if I’m leaving town to go to a Rangers or Cowboys game. Other than that, I get to miss the traffic and stay on the streets. Which is what’s so nice about living in the city itself.
December 1st, 2011 at 1:10 PM
Plus, your cost of living is so high, you can’t afford a car anyway!
December 1st, 2011 at 1:11 PM
Plus, your cost of living is so high, you can’t afford a car anyway!
I bet my mortgage payment, with taxes, is smaller than yours, without taxes.
December 1st, 2011 at 1:13 PM
I always feel like a smug dick when I’m sitting in a bar at 5:15 and seeing the horrific traffic reports emerge. Toronto has among the worst commutes in North America.
December 1st, 2011 at 1:13 PM
Plus, your cost of living is so high, you can’t afford a car anyway!
not really. I filled up my gas tank once every 6 weeks when i lived in downtown milwaukee… I suppose city dwellers do have to sacrifice that living AND dining room that are used twice a year though.
/wanking motion
December 1st, 2011 at 1:14 PM
Ditto on gas here. I fill up once a month right now.
December 1st, 2011 at 1:14 PM
probably a good thing too. I have seen some of the dumbest shit on the freeway in Dallas. people flying down the shoulder in their 300 series BMW while everyone else is at a stand-still is a classic Dallas move.
December 1st, 2011 at 1:14 PM
Who the fuck wants to have to drive and who the fuck would want me driving?
December 1st, 2011 at 1:15 PM
probably a good thing too. I have seen some of the dumbest shit on the freeway in Dallas. people flying down the shoulder in their 300 series BMW while everyone else is at a stand-still is a classic Dallas move.
San Antonio: Worst freeway drivers in the state.
December 1st, 2011 at 1:15 PM
people flying down the shoulder in their 300 series BMW while everyone else is at a stand-still is a classic Dallas move.
this X1000 if you’re talking about Miami… the only place I’ve ever actually feared for my life driving on the freeways. Miami has the worst drivers I’ve ever seen.
December 1st, 2011 at 1:17 PM
I gar-ron-tee it. But I bet it’s higher than if you lived just outside of the city.
December 1st, 2011 at 1:21 PM
Washington DC is the worst city to navigate.
December 1st, 2011 at 1:28 PM
I bet my mortgage payment, with taxes, is smaller than yours, without taxes.
I gar-ron-tee it. But I bet it’s higher than if you lived just outside of the city.
It’s probably pretty close. With added savings from the fact that i only spend $40/month on gas.
December 1st, 2011 at 1:29 PM
DC and Boston is a tie.