Welcome to the Movie Hall of Fame where we honor movies that we have seen for some reason or another. See, I tack “Hall of Fame” onto things so people are more likely to read them. Obviously, you don’t care about Jack and Jill.

Me? I have a morbid curiosity when it comes to television and movies. I think that’s why I decided to go to a screening of Jack and Jill Thursday night. Still, five minutes before the movie began, I thought to myself, “Why am I doing this?” Five and a half minutes later, Jack and Jill executed its first fart joke. I thought to myself, “Why did I do this?”

If you think Jack and Jill looks unfunny and ham-fisted, that’s because it is. To be fair, the trailer of the film does a great job selling that. What you might not know  is that Al Pacino is PROMINENTLY involved in this film. I had no idea. I guess he’s in the trailer at some point, but I’ve never paid attention long enough to notice. At first, I thought it was a cameo. Then it became a small part. Then he became a potential love interest for Adam Sandler in drag.

Sandler in drag did cause me to laugh one time. It was one of about three times. The rest of the audience though? They were laughing so hard while I sat there without  a smile on my face that I began to feel like an asshole. FilmDrunk has often joked that Sandler is on a never ending quest to find the lowest common denominator. If this screening was any indication, he has found it.

Since Jack and Jill is so stupid, here are two G-Chat conversations I had with 1 Happy St about the movie.

About Pacino
me: you will not believe who is in Jack and Jill
they are unbilled, but should probably be listed…God… second or third
Happy: ha
I’ll believe anything
about that pos
Al Pacino
one of the Jersey Shore
a Kardashian

me: it’s Pacino
did you look that up?

Happy: ha, no I didn’t

me: yup

Happy: wow
why did I even guess that?

me: and Bruce Jenner is in it!
no one from Jersey Shore though

Happy: my first reaction was to pick one of the greatest actors of his generation

About the review
Happy: here’s what I’d do. I’d write a review for Shawshank, but I’ll change the character names of Red and Andy to Jack and Jill. At the end of my review, I’ll have a throw-in comment….

/Jack and Jill sucked. Go see Shawshank

me: Jack and Jill was a lot like Shawshank, but different. Jack and Jill didn’t pack nearly as many laughs as Shawshank. Still, Jack and Jill wasn’t THAT bad.

Happy: Jack and Jill had a rocky relationship to start
hahaha, ok even better

me: I’ve fine tuned my craft for ultimate parody when I get my shot on Grantland
“The Boston Celtics are a lot like the New England Patriots, but different. Go Bears!”

Happy: /looks forward to the post titled “movies that are like Shawshank Hall of Fame”
When they first met, Jack had already been in prison for 30 years or so. Institutionalized, if you will. But despite their age difference, it didn’t take long for Jack and Jill to become fast friends.

me: “Being twins didn’t hurt!”

Happy: haha
oh man, you can have so much fun with this. Please don’t play it straight
i beg
This movie does not deserve a real review
add things that didn’t happen

me: lol

Happy: closing line: by the way, the things I mentioned above may or may not have actually happened in this movie. I’m sorry, I wasn’t paying attention. I know that jetski thing did, but I saw that in the previews. Go read a book

In summation, yes, the jetski thing did happen. If you have some dumb kids who you want to subject to lots of obvious poop jokes (Spoiler Alert: Jill has never had Mexican food before!) then take them to see Jack and Jill. They will love it. Otherwise, go read a book.