I worked at one of the local haunted houses for a week back in high school. I was one of the guys jumping out a closet and went Boo! every 30 seconds. I did feel a little bad when I made a 7 year old cry one time.

I did this except I was in the small children part of course where there was no scaring, and I was dressed up as Piglet, my friend was Tigger. I think I still made a child cry.

Proud of you.

It’s because they’re just so damn expensive

/obligatory

Better question: Do you still go to haunted houses?

Not in my adult life, no

Proud of you.

Not since I could shave and realized girls didn’t like being scared.

“move back motherf*cka, the Onyx is here.”

I hope that was followed by some sort of bird call/flapping of arms as wings.

you can still sometimes see Fredro getting acting work…whenever Law and Order SVU needs a gang related murder suspect who turns out guilty.

have completely ruined every haunted house experience i have had since i was like 12 or 13…Once I realized that we were paying to get scared by a guy with a chainless chainsaw I’d calmly walk through like it was no big deal. My family would get all upset because I wasnt shitting my pants with them..I just couldnt get into it…..coincidentally I havent been to a haunted house in like 16 years. Look at them tatties tho

I’m generally the same way. We went to one of the more elaborate haunted houses a few years ago, and they had the people who follow you and try to creep you out. One of those guys comes up next to my wife and I, and she doesn’t notice, so I drop back. She starts talking to him, thinking it’s me, and turns around and almost shits her pants. Good times.

Better question: Do you still go to haunted houses?

Not in my adult life, no

True story: A dude was about to get into a fight with another dude at a party and said “move back motherf*cka, the Onyx is here.”

Did the second dude just laugh his ass off? I would’ve.

Do you guys think that people who walk through staged haunted houses actually think there are real ghosts there or something? Its entertainment. You get scared because they jump out at you.

Better question: Do you still go to haunted houses?

House of Pain or Onyx?

Onyx. Not even close.

True story: A dude was about to get into a fight with another dude at a party and said “move back motherf*cka, the Onyx is here.”

House of Pain or Onyx?

Onyx. Not even close.

To your point:

Years ago, I was asked to do a report for a bank on a place that was about to be sold. I got there and it was a former funeral home that had been gutted. So I walk around, take photos, write notes, head down to the pitch-black basement and take a few more photos, write notes. Left with no drama.

Not long after I drive past it and see it’s been turned into a haunted house. So I always get a good laugh now when people pay good money to go in it.

House of Pain or Onyx?

I didn’t know cheerleaders had to wear their unis all the time.