NFL Week 5: The Five Most Important Stats
129: Yards receiving by New Orleans tight end Jimmy Graham. Last week: 132 yards. The week prior: 100 yards. Graham is rapidly emerging as one of the best tight ends in the league. Statistically, he’s easily the best TE through five games in 2011, and among all pass-catchers, Graham is tied for second in the NFL in receptions (32) and is 4th in yards (496).
119: If I had asked you at noon Sunday who Jackie Battle was, you might have said a) the real name of an actor on Breaking Bad, b) a relief pitcher in the NCLS, c) the name of a budding WWE star. Battle is a running back on the Chiefs who carried 19 times for 119 yards in KC’s come-from-behind win over the Colts. Undrafted out of Houston, Battle had a total of 155 rushing yards in five seasons.
0: The number of penalties called on San Diego in a win over Denver.
106: That’s how many yards the Falcons had after taking a 14-0 lead on Green Bay. Atlanta went up 14-0 with 12:26 left in the 2nd quarter. They had eight possessions the rest of the game (one was the final play of the first half), and mustered a meek 106 yards. But they couldn’t run the ball and Matty Ice was … well, Matty Ice.
4: Mike Vick’s interception total against the Bills. Yes, we’re talking about the same Bills’ defense that intercepted Tom Brady four times two weeks ago. To be fair, not all of them were Vick’s fault (one really bad pick, he was hit hard while throwing, one was a tipped pass, bizarre game-ending pick).

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132 Responses to “NFL Week 5: The Five Most Important Stats”
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October 10th, 2011 at 3:02 PM
b) a relief pitcher in the NCLS
I keep this.
October 10th, 2011 at 3:04 PM
The most important stat of Week 5 was that the Saints tight end had over 100 yards receiving?
I think this “feature” needs a new title.
October 10th, 2011 at 3:04 PM
should have been 1. PI on the “hail mary”
October 10th, 2011 at 3:05 PM
4x the number of inches in Jay Cutler’s semi-flaccid penis: How many drinks I’ll be consuming while watching the Lions go 5-0.
October 10th, 2011 at 3:08 PM
Lions fans (I know, I didn’t know they existed either) are quickly becoming insufferable in a Patriots-Tommy-From-Quinzee sort of way.
October 10th, 2011 at 3:08 PM
all aboard the capn checkdown sloop’n'poop.
October 10th, 2011 at 3:10 PM
Thank you Jimmy Graham. I watched one of the Saint’s pre-season games and saw him.
October 10th, 2011 at 3:10 PM
No love for Jonathon Dwyers 107 yard performance?
/nods at Lefty
October 10th, 2011 at 3:10 PM
So you are staying sober?
October 10th, 2011 at 3:11 PM
how many carries did he have aside from that one giant run?
October 10th, 2011 at 3:12 PM
Yup. Though that’d never get called. Didn’t realize SD didn’t have any other penalties though.
October 10th, 2011 at 3:12 PM
I thought we renamed this?
/doesn’t remember
October 10th, 2011 at 3:13 PM
You hate all things detroit. Of course you hate Lions fans.
October 10th, 2011 at 3:13 PM
11 total. Redman got banged up late and Mendy was emergency back with his hamstring issue. I think if the game was close, Redman would have been back in, but they let Dwyer have most of the 2nd half carries in the blow out to keep the other two rested.
October 10th, 2011 at 3:14 PM
oh shut up. don’t be an asshole.
October 10th, 2011 at 3:14 PM
SOME GUY NAMED!
October 10th, 2011 at 3:15 PM
On a pace to get 1600 receiving yards. And it’s not week 2 projections. He’s one-third of the way through the season. His numbers will drop slightly as Marques Colston gets back in the offense, but 1200 yards is not out of the question.
October 10th, 2011 at 3:17 PM
oh shut up. don’t be an asshole.
you may be a tad late on this one…
October 10th, 2011 at 3:17 PM
well, at least the Vikings aren’t going 0-16, which is cool, I guess.
October 10th, 2011 at 3:18 PM
I am with Mike here, these are not really that important as much as they are interesting to the writer (TBL).
October 10th, 2011 at 3:19 PM
The most important stat of Week 5 was that the Saints tight end had over 100 yards receiving?
I think this “feature” needs a new title.
Ah, I see. Graham doesn’t play for the Jets or Giants, so he’s irrelevant?
The reason Graham’s relevant is that he has quickly become Brees’ favorite target, and that makes him an important part of the second- or third-best offense in the NFL (after Green Bay and maybe New England).
October 10th, 2011 at 3:19 PM
I hope the Lions stomp the shit out of Chicago tonight, and look forward to your trolling comments tomorrow about how the Lions are still somehow just an average team. Douche.
October 10th, 2011 at 3:20 PM
The Saints are 4-0 without Marques Colston.
He is the reason.
October 10th, 2011 at 3:20 PM
well, at least the Vikings aren’t going 0-16, which is cool, I guess
So much for that whole “Suck for Luck” campaign I was with. This team can’t even lose when they need to.
October 10th, 2011 at 3:21 PM
Matty Ice (who sucks): 1302 yards, 61.2% completion, 6.6 Y/A, 7 TDs, 6 picks
Mark Sanchez: 1171 yards, 56.1% completion, 6.8 Y/A, 8 TDs, 5 picks
Nothing really stands out, except to say both of those guys blow guys.
October 10th, 2011 at 3:21 PM
Lions fans (I know, I didn’t know they existed either) are quickly becoming insufferable in a Patriots-Tommy-From-Quinzee sort of way.
How the hell can you be annoyed by Lions fans? Let them talk and celebrate all they want. This team hasn’t been decent since Barry Sanders was on the team. I actually feel sorry for them as a fan base.
October 10th, 2011 at 3:21 PM
50.25: Avergage length of Janikowski FG attempts this week. He was 4/4 (3/3 50+ yards). Pretty remarkable for any kicker.
October 10th, 2011 at 3:24 PM
50.25: Avergage length of Janikowski FG attempts this week. He was 4/4 (3/3 50+ yards). Pretty remarkable for any kicker.
A very important stat for fantasy purposes.
/nods at KC
October 10th, 2011 at 3:24 PM
And on kickers:
9: Number of FGs Nick Novak has made the last two weeks
October 10th, 2011 at 3:24 PM
“should have been 1. PI on the “hail mary””
“Yup. Though that’d never get called. Didn’t realize SD didn’t have any other penalties though.”
Looking at the replay of that play, at least two Chargers’ defenders fanned on that pass. Tebow and company came achingly close to pulling that game out.
Can you imagine the hysteria if that play resulted in a touchdown? People would have “saved the date” like it was the Drive or the Immaculate Reception.
/go Chargers
October 10th, 2011 at 3:24 PM
That
October 10th, 2011 at 3:25 PM
Yep, that’s exactly what I wrote. Nicely done.
October 10th, 2011 at 3:25 PM
kick his ass, sea bass.
October 10th, 2011 at 3:26 PM
On a pace to get 1600 receiving yards. And it’s not week 2 projections. He’s one-third of the way through the season. His numbers will drop slightly as Marques Colston gets back in the offense, but 1200 yards is not out of the question.
had a nice juggle/tip catch too yesterday. caught it on his back
/ghey
October 10th, 2011 at 3:26 PM
5-10: Combined records of Eagles, Jets and Falcons
October 10th, 2011 at 3:26 PM
Jackie Battle treats objects like women, man.
October 10th, 2011 at 3:26 PM
mark sanchez doesn’t suck b/c he’s actually improved as a player this year, and his follies can be blamed on the OC, offensive line, WR and poor running game.
October 10th, 2011 at 3:28 PM
Getting away with raw athleticism right now. Will never be a great tight end.
October 10th, 2011 at 3:28 PM
He also deflected a pass that was 5 feet over his head and headed out of bounds straight into the hands of a Carolina DB for an INT. Carolina then drove for the TD that made it 27-23.
/take the good with the bad
October 10th, 2011 at 3:28 PM
5-10: Combined records of Eagles, Jets and Falcons
1: dream team contribution to that stat
October 10th, 2011 at 3:28 PM
seriously…you put mark sanchez behind matt ryan’s team and you’d get…well pretty much the same thing.
October 10th, 2011 at 3:30 PM
2: number of games stafford has played vs. the bears
0: number he’s finished
October 10th, 2011 at 3:30 PM
oh fuck the bears and the lions.
go pack go.
October 10th, 2011 at 3:30 PM
This post needs more Ginger Dalton and AJ Green.
October 10th, 2011 at 3:30 PM
Ha.
October 10th, 2011 at 3:31 PM
I laughed because its true.
October 10th, 2011 at 3:31 PM
go pack go.
damn rodgers throws laser-guided missles
October 10th, 2011 at 3:31 PM
Are you turning into the NFL version of SC?
October 10th, 2011 at 3:32 PM
Well…Jeremy Shockey was his mentor.
Did you hear Shockey’s antics yesterday. On DeAngelo’s long TD run, the radio crew said he was running down the sidelines giving obscene gestures to the entire team. Then when the game was over and they lost, he sprinted to the locker room and refused to shake hands.
Total pussy.
October 10th, 2011 at 3:32 PM
Fuck yea.
/belt
October 10th, 2011 at 3:33 PM
AJ Green.
picked him up two weeks ago. happy i did
October 10th, 2011 at 3:33 PM
26:05: Time of possession team Gound n Pound achieve against one of the worst defenses in the league.
October 10th, 2011 at 3:33 PM
no…but of all the afc north teams, the pack are the only ones i enjoy watching.
October 10th, 2011 at 3:34 PM
Sent from my ESPN Mobile Phone
October 10th, 2011 at 3:35 PM
afc north teams, the pack
pass the dutchy already
October 10th, 2011 at 3:35 PM
THE U!
October 10th, 2011 at 3:36 PM
nice reference. did one of your fellow walmart wolverines give you that gem between stops on michigan and the lions’ bandwagons?
October 10th, 2011 at 3:37 PM
Speaking of them – they celebrated the 25th anniversary of the PSU ’86 national title team this weekend at the game. Vinny T. was nice enough to show up in camo and throw some passes to Shane Conlin and Pete Giftopolous
October 10th, 2011 at 3:37 PM
nfc north…whatever. and should you really be pointing out other people’s typing mistakes?
October 10th, 2011 at 3:38 PM
4x the number of inches in Jay Cutler’s semi-flaccid penis: How many drinks I’ll be consuming while watching the Lions go 5-0.
So, 4 drinks? Pussy.
October 10th, 2011 at 3:38 PM
Ok. Don’t go out and buy a Rodgers jersey.
October 10th, 2011 at 3:38 PM
106: That’s how many yards the Falcons had after taking a 14-0 lead on Green Bay.
106? Wow that is a lot of yards.
/Donovan Mcnabb
October 10th, 2011 at 3:39 PM
that offense is sultry and smooth.
October 10th, 2011 at 3:40 PM
Don’t be silly. Everyone here knows to shop at Meijer for their cheap athletic themed items.
October 10th, 2011 at 3:41 PM
A very important stat for fantasy purposes.
/nods at KC MS
Fuck!
October 10th, 2011 at 3:41 PM
of course not…jerseys are retarded.
October 10th, 2011 at 3:41 PM
nfc north…whatever. and should you really be pointing out other people’s typing mistakes?
wouldn;t you want a baker to critique your bread?
October 10th, 2011 at 3:41 PM
it’s like the batmobile of offenses.
October 10th, 2011 at 3:41 PM
Is there going to be a Lions post for tonight’s game? Because this picture definitely needs to be included.
Also, someone needs to find that youtube video of the two female lions fans fighting in the stands from that 0-16 season.
October 10th, 2011 at 3:42 PM
that’s an excellent point.
October 10th, 2011 at 3:43 PM
plus, it wasn;t a typing mistake. it clearly is the evidence we need once and for all that you don;t know football
October 10th, 2011 at 3:43 PM
I have found in my travels that it is rarely the jersey that is retarded, but rather the person wearing said jersey.
October 10th, 2011 at 3:44 PM
wouldn;t you want a baker to critique your bread?
that’s an excellent point.
;!!!
October 10th, 2011 at 3:44 PM
the jersey that is retarded
where’s he been anyway?
October 10th, 2011 at 3:45 PM
This is much more apropos.
October 10th, 2011 at 3:45 PM
ty, enough with the homoeroticism
/anyone for beach volleyball?
October 10th, 2011 at 3:45 PM
plus, it wasn;t a typing mistake. it clearly is the evidence we need once and for all that you don;t know football
;
October 10th, 2011 at 3:46 PM
i bought some MSU pj bottoms last Thanksgiving when I was back visiting. I shocked to see that Tel-Twelve was no more.
/not really
//was the mall white people used to go to
///raycess
October 10th, 2011 at 3:48 PM
this is a chicken/egg scenario we got going here. the jersey itself may not be retarded, fine…but if only retards don a jersey, then they’re tied at the hip. much like hearing aids…you ever seen someone with perfect hearing wear those? fuck no.
/glares at people who wear RX-less glasses
October 10th, 2011 at 3:48 PM
i need a backrub ms
October 10th, 2011 at 3:49 PM
The jersey wearer is only a step above the fanny-pack wearer.
October 10th, 2011 at 3:49 PM
/anyone for beach volleyball?
That’s right
IcemanVezina, I AM dangerous….October 10th, 2011 at 3:49 PM
lol.
October 10th, 2011 at 3:52 PM
was there already a Boardwalk Empire discussion? if so, i’m late to it
nucky was a badass in the restaurant. jimmy’s gonna crack
October 10th, 2011 at 3:53 PM
Of course there are always exceptions to the rule.
October 10th, 2011 at 3:54 PM
i have two jerseys, ucla fb and lsu baseball gameworn from a nc team
October 10th, 2011 at 3:55 PM
Nuck was a badass in that scene but for the most part that episode was boring.
October 10th, 2011 at 3:56 PM
to be fair, i thought nucky was a goner 95% of the previous episode.
can’t wait for next week.
October 10th, 2011 at 3:56 PM
you know what I’m never going to fucking purchase?
Vicks Nyquil.
October 10th, 2011 at 3:57 PM
you know what I’m never going to fucking purchase?
shaker weights?
October 10th, 2011 at 3:58 PM
term life insurance from colonial penn?
October 10th, 2011 at 3:59 PM
those paz haters almost got their wish last night. ol agent self-flog had himself a woody watching her dance
October 10th, 2011 at 4:00 PM
Nuck was a badass in that scene but for the most part that episode was boring.
I disagree. I think things are building up nicely. I had trouble understanding why the maid, at the end, said that Margaret was Peggy Rowan. Did I miss a part of Margaret’s back story?
I think I was proven right that Owen Sleator is becoming the new Jimmy.
October 10th, 2011 at 4:01 PM
paz haters just made the mistake of looking at her face and listening to her speak, that’s all. from the neck down, she’s a HOFer.
October 10th, 2011 at 4:02 PM
Also, Damien Fleming seems like kind of a moron. I’m not sure that Nucky is terribly assured that he’s the only ward boss on his side.
October 10th, 2011 at 4:02 PM
jimmy’s mom is the best looking woman on that show. creepy, sure, but best looking
October 10th, 2011 at 4:03 PM
but jimmy’s still the old jimmy…he just knows who his daddy is now.
and no idea on peggy rowan, but i was disappointed with her bitchiness to katie at the end.
October 10th, 2011 at 4:04 PM
oh gretchen mol…you had me after rounders.
October 10th, 2011 at 4:04 PM
paz haters just made the mistake of looking at her face and listening to her speak, that’s all. from the neck down, she’s a HOFer.
agree. i think it’s the voice and the bad accent combined. i don;t even mind her face. and apparently eddie cantor was a fruit
October 10th, 2011 at 4:06 PM
and no idea on peggy rowan, but i was disappointed with her bitchiness to katie at the end.
Well she had Katie make a phone call for her to New York in which she asked about a Peggy Rowan, only to be told that Peggy Rowan had been dead for 12 years. And this caused Margaret to cry by herself and then to join the maids for a drink. Maybe Katie just got a little too comfortable after seeing all of that? But I don’t understand why she said “You’re Peggy Rowan. I won’t tell anyone”.
October 10th, 2011 at 4:07 PM
and apparently eddie cantor was a fruit
Color me shocked.
October 10th, 2011 at 4:08 PM
oh gretchen mol…you had me after rounders.
bettie page
October 10th, 2011 at 4:10 PM
but jimmy’s still the old jimmy…he just knows who his daddy is now.
I think Jimmy is realizing that he only likes killing and making money. He doesn’t really care about being in charge.
I also liked the appearance of William McCoy. “Don’t forget, when you enjoy that bottle of scotch on a cold winter night, who put it there”.
October 10th, 2011 at 4:11 PM
me neither because of everything you just said. but margaret TOLD katie that she could be less formal…and then totally flips the script when she feels that nucky isn’t going to get fucked over. either she’s super cunning or a total bitch.
October 10th, 2011 at 4:12 PM
Well I do know that Peggy is a nickname for Margaret.
October 10th, 2011 at 4:13 PM
and then totally flips the script when she feels that nucky isn’t going to get fucked over
I think she was thrown off by suddenly how familiar she was and that Katie grabbed her wrist. That was a bit much.
October 10th, 2011 at 4:14 PM
i didn’t think so. margaret was pretty explicit in telling the help to be less formal. and, i’ll need to rewatch, but im pretty sure she mentioned something about nucky getting slammed and her status going away when they were all drinking around the table.
October 10th, 2011 at 4:15 PM
I hate that.
October 10th, 2011 at 4:15 PM
Gotta keep the help in their place. Clean my shit and occasionally blow nuck so Peggy ain’t got to.
October 10th, 2011 at 4:15 PM
amen.
October 10th, 2011 at 4:16 PM
i didn’t think so. margaret was pretty explicit in telling the help to be less formal. and, i’ll need to rewatch, but im pretty sure she mentioned something about nucky getting slammed and her status going away when they were all drinking around the table.
I must have missed that part. Because when she was at the table I thought she was talking about what a shit hole Ireland had been.
October 10th, 2011 at 4:17 PM
i remember that much…ill have to rewatch regardless just to make sure im not hallucinating. i was PRETT-AY baked last evening.
October 10th, 2011 at 4:19 PM
Margaret had Katie call her family in NY with the number she got from the detective agency earlier in the episode. The viewer was led to beleive she was calling her sister, “Peggy” who ahd been dead for 12 years. However, at the end, we find out that Margaret is actually Peggy and her family in NY considers her dead. Possibly b/c of some friction w/ how she left the homeland (hinted at earlier).
Also, the Harrow-Slaeter showdown=badass
October 10th, 2011 at 4:21 PM
Who is the actress that played Katie?
October 10th, 2011 at 4:21 PM
whoa.
/does bong rip
October 10th, 2011 at 4:22 PM
Margaret had Katie call her family in NY with the number she got from the detective agency earlier in the episode. The viewer was led to beleive she was calling her sister, “Peggy” who ahd been dead for 12 years. However, at the end, we find out that Margaret is actually Peggy and her family in NY considers her dead. Possibly b/c of some friction w/ how she left the homeland (hinted at earlier).
Oooooooooooooooooooooh, I see now. Thanks Justice Scalia.
October 10th, 2011 at 4:23 PM
Also, the Harrow-Slaeter showdown=badass
why did capone look so freaked? that wwas capone at the end, when new guy said ‘we ain’t taking sales, right?
October 10th, 2011 at 4:23 PM
Margaret was depressed and went downstairs with the help because she wanted friends. She flipped a switch when Nucky went badass at the restaurant and she realized she can’t seem weak to the help.
October 10th, 2011 at 4:24 PM
I think those two little girls in the pictures from the detective agency are actually her children she left in Ireland.
October 10th, 2011 at 4:24 PM
I’m not certain, but I don’t beleive it was. I tihnk it was just an unnamed assistant to Harrow
October 10th, 2011 at 4:26 PM
yea, that’s what i was thinking at first. and the dude was her husband.
October 10th, 2011 at 4:28 PM
this post has been the newest for a long time
October 10th, 2011 at 4:28 PM
So is there a 48 hour ban on discussing Breaking Bad?
October 10th, 2011 at 4:28 PM
That also explains Nucky saying something about how he sees the resemblance when looking at the photo of the girl
October 10th, 2011 at 4:28 PM
That also explains Nucky saying something about how he sees the resemblance when looking at the photo of the girl
October 10th, 2011 at 4:29 PM
ahh fuck
October 10th, 2011 at 4:29 PM
It wasn’t Capone. Capone was only there for his dad’s funeral. He doesn’t have any business in AC now that he’s getting hooch from Cincy and Canada.
October 10th, 2011 at 4:29 PM
I have high hopes for Slaeter after that episode. I see him and Jimmy coming into conflict with each other soon.
October 10th, 2011 at 4:31 PM
I don’t know what to make of Slaeter. I think he feels loyalty to Jimmy and has a connection to Nucky after the time he spent with Margaret and her children. He’s not going to want to be involved in anything that would involve hurting either group.
October 10th, 2011 at 4:31 PM
I finished watching the ‘Prohibition’ doc on PBS before watching Boardwalk last night. Pretty informative about Capone and his dealings although the documentary said his cut was 25%
October 10th, 2011 at 4:34 PM
That also explains Nucky saying something about how he sees the resemblance when looking at the photo of the girl
or that they are her siblings
October 10th, 2011 at 4:35 PM
He’s not going to want to be involved in anything that would involve hurting either group.
he’s got his own ‘burning’ issues