Actual Headline: “Dwarfs better off tossed than jobless, Florida republican says”

All, Only in Florida, Politics Stephen Douglas October 6th. 2011, 5:20pm

This story has it all. Dwarfs. Florida. Dwarfs. Representative Ritch Workman (which is obviously a fake name… wait, what? He’s real!? Awesome.) has introduced a bill to lift the Florida state ban on dwarf-tossing. This man is an American hero. From Bloomberg:

Dwarf-tossing, an event in which bar patrons throw little people in protective gear across bars onto mattresses, was banned in Florida in 1989 after opponents complained that it was dangerous and dehumanizing.

Why does he want to lift this ban? Job creation.

While Workman agrees that the practice is “repulsive” and “stupid,” he also thinks the ban inhibits job creation.

“All that it does is prevent some dwarfs from getting jobs they would be happy to get,” Workman told the Palm Beach Post. “In this economy, or any economy, why would we want to prevent people from getting gainful employment?”

This is the second time in a month we’re talking about dwarf-tossing. Thankfully, this time it’s back in its rightful home of Florida. It looks like America is finally ready to host a visit from the English rugby team.

[Belated h/t: Rusty!]

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38 Responses to “Actual Headline: “Dwarfs better off tossed than jobless, Florida republican says””

1
Senator Jersey Says:
October 6th, 2011 at 5:32 PM
Just make it it’s own country already.
2
cassino Says:
October 6th, 2011 at 5:32 PM
Dwarf is not the preferred nomenclature. Little people, please.
3
ATL_Badger Says:
October 6th, 2011 at 5:33 PM
TJ
Robin Ventura named White Sox Manager
/TJ
//I probably will get duckworth’d, apologize in advance
4
Gerard Portmanteau Says:
October 6th, 2011 at 5:39 PM
That guy looks like Rulon Gardner and Glenn Beck’s prison baby.
5
traderjack21 Says:
October 6th, 2011 at 5:39 PM
DUCK FUCKIN WORTH
6
Some Random Old Dude Says:
October 6th, 2011 at 5:39 PM
Is “little people tossing” any different than stunt work in the moviemaking industry, or perhaps football (gasp)? If there are safety procedures and gear available AND the adult little person acquiesces to the act, is it really dehumanizing?
7
traderjack21 Says:
October 6th, 2011 at 5:42 PM
/duckworth towards ATL
8
captain_spalding Says:
October 6th, 2011 at 5:43 PM
“Dwarfs better off tossed than jobless, Florida republican says”
Is this why the Marlins hired Ozzie?
9
ATL_Badger Says:
October 6th, 2011 at 5:43 PM
How many dwarfs are out there that would even consider accepting “being tossed across a bar like a rag-doll” as a job? I can’t remember the last time I even saw a little person. It’s probably been over 4 or 5 years, and it’s not like I live out in the sticks. Way to go on creating those 3 jobs guy, I’m sure the negative publicity will be worth it.
10
Breesus Says:
October 6th, 2011 at 5:48 PM
I think a stripper tossed off a dwarf at one of the bachelor parties I went to in Florida. Is that what he’s talking about?
11
Breesus Says:
October 6th, 2011 at 5:50 PM
Okay. There’s an American flag in the background. He’s wearing an American flag pin. His tie is red, white, and blue.
/Gee, I wonder if he’s a Republican
//He’s obviously not one of those Godless Traitor Democrats
12
arkbadger Says:
October 6th, 2011 at 5:53 PM
I think a stripper tossed off a dwarf at one of the bachelor parties I went to in Florida. Is that what he’s talking about?
midget porn re-enacted at a bachelor party? sign me up!
13
jekyll Says:
October 6th, 2011 at 5:53 PM
Way to go on creating those 3 jobs guy, I’m sure the negative publicity will be worth it.
Much better to have the government telling adults not to do something in order to protect them from themselves, right? You know, since it works so well with laws against drugs, prostitution, gambling, miscegenation, etc.
14
YYSA Says:
October 6th, 2011 at 5:53 PM
Meh…Let me know when we can legally karate chop them.
15
Ty_Webb 1.0 Says:
October 6th, 2011 at 5:56 PM
2-to-1 this guy has white hood and sheets hanging in his closet, any takers?
16
ATL_Badger Says:
October 6th, 2011 at 5:56 PM
Much better to have the government telling adults not to do something in order to protect them from themselves, right? You know, since it works so well with laws against drugs, prostitution, gambling, miscegenation, etc.
Yes, that’s exactly what I was getting at there. You right wing political nut jobs are funny.
17
ATL_Badger Says:
October 6th, 2011 at 5:58 PM
2-to-1 this guy has white hood and sheets hanging in his closet, any takers?
I’ll up the ante and say he’s probably gay too.
18
YYSA Says:
October 6th, 2011 at 5:59 PM
2-to-1 this guy has white hood and sheets hanging in his closet, any takers?
I fail to see how wanting to drunkenly toss a midget in the air makes one a racist. Now if he gets caught tossing a white midget onto a mattress and then follows it up by tossing a black midget out of a bar, then we can talk.
19
Mike NYC Says:
October 6th, 2011 at 6:00 PM
I fail to see how wanting to drunkenly toss a midget in the air makes one a racist.
You’re talking about a Ty Webb post — when has logic or rationale ever have been in play?
20
Ty_Webb 1.0 Says:
October 6th, 2011 at 6:00 PM
Much better to have the government telling adults not to do something in order to protect them from themselves, right? You know, since it works so well with laws against drugs, prostitution, gambling, miscegenation, etc.
you forgot fornacation
21
jekyll Says:
October 6th, 2011 at 6:00 PM
You right wing political nut jobs are funny.
Not right wing by any stretch, I’m actually pretty liberal. But if it’s cool to ban dwarf tossing to protect the poor helpless dwarfs, then it’s cool to ban strip clubs to protect poor helpless strippers. And that’s one slippery slope I won’t test.
22
Ty_Webb 1.0 Says:
October 6th, 2011 at 6:04 PM
You’re talking about a Ty Webb post — when has logic or rationale ever have been in play?
Tim Cook isn’t a bad guy, it’ll be ok….
I fail to see how wanting to drunkenly toss a midget in the air makes one a racist. Now if he gets caught tossing a white midget onto a mattress and then follows it up by tossing a black midget out of a bar, then we can talk.
How does one question any kind of comment that is made on a post discussing the legality of midget tossing?
23
sousedbergin Says:
October 6th, 2011 at 6:06 PM
And that’s one slippery slope I won’t test.
Ya like how we have all those child labour laws that put all those kids out of work.
/thought this was ‘Merica
24
jekyll Says:
October 6th, 2011 at 6:07 PM
Ya like how we have all those child labour laws that put all those kids out of work.
Fun fact: Although they are short, dwarfs are not children but are in fact adults capable of making informed decisions for themselves.
25
YYSA Says:
October 6th, 2011 at 6:08 PM
How does one question any kind of comment that is made on a post discussing the legality of midget tossing?
by keeping your answer short.
/veal
26
Ty_Webb 1.0 Says:
October 6th, 2011 at 6:11 PM
Yea, this guy should be right up Mike NYC’s tree:
Illegal Immigration (my letter to FL Today’s editor, 6/6/2010)
The time for comprehensive immigration reform is now! Washington has sent a clear message the federal government has no intention of addressing this problem. If the Obama administration wants to continue the decades-long policy of inaction, the task of securing our country’s borders must be taken up by the states. Understanding that “security” is the paramount duty of government, Arizona is leading the way in immigration reform.
27
Gaseous Clay Says:
October 6th, 2011 at 6:12 PM
while both are acceptable, I find the pluralization dwarfs distasteful. I prefer dwarves.
28
Ty_Webb 1.0 Says:
October 6th, 2011 at 6:12 PM
by keeping your answer short.
/veal
I can see the lack of Trade Machine use is really starting to get to you…
29
sousedbergin Says:
October 6th, 2011 at 6:15 PM
fun fact dwarfs aren’t born adults also….
What a second this is just trolling isn’t?
Well played sir you’ve earned your black market libation of dubious ingredients.
30
Ty_Webb 1.0 Says:
October 6th, 2011 at 6:17 PM
Fun fact: Although they are short, dwarfs are not children but are in fact adults capable of making informed decisions for themselves.
Dwarves can be tossed in other states, correct?
31
jekyll Says:
October 6th, 2011 at 6:18 PM
fun fact dwarfs aren’t born adults also….
Child labor laws should apply to dwarfs when they’re children, but once they are adults they should be able to get tossed if they choose to. Unless… are you trolling me?
32
YYSA Says:
October 6th, 2011 at 6:20 PM
Dwarves can be tossed in other states, correct?
Is the dwarf a mexican?
33
sousedbergin Says:
October 6th, 2011 at 6:23 PM
Is the dwarf a mexican?
Not sure but we should detain and question him without a warrant.
34
YYSA Says:
October 6th, 2011 at 6:26 PM
Not sure but we should detain and question him without a warrant.
First we need to take him to a hospital and give him free medical treatment, then we will stop by the social security office and get him food stamps.
35
The Wayne Fontes Safari Says:
October 6th, 2011 at 6:30 PM
I like my dwarfs tossed. Dustin Pedroia mixed with balsamic vinegar is delicious.
36
Ty_Webb 1.0 Says:
October 6th, 2011 at 6:30 PM
Dwarves can be tossed in other states, correct?
Is the dwarf a mexican?
I fail to see how this matters in the least, unless you are from Arizona
37
Nada Says:
October 6th, 2011 at 6:49 PM
Would this apply to mental midgets as well? Because that would greatly benefit many Floridians.
38
The Fan's Attic Says:
October 6th, 2011 at 6:52 PM
I’m sure you could toss a dwarf into another state. Just stand next to the state line and heave. They are little people after all.