Yardwork: A Red Sox Collapse is Upon Us
You know it’s time to panic in Boston when the official Red Sox panic meter is in the 8-9 range. And it should be because nothing beats panic in Boston and it’s been far too long since the Red Sox have done something pathetic, which was oh so common pre-2004. On Sept. 1, the Sox were in first place and led Tampa by a full 9 games. That lead has been cut to 2 games with 10 to go. If they choke away the wildcard spot it will certainly feel like sports karma has its rooting interests back in order. It’s gotten so bad that Carl Crawford has chosen to use this downtrodden time to apologize to the fans of Boston. Great. The good news? The Orioles are in town for four games and Eric Bedard will return to rescue the starting rotation tomorrow while the Rays head to New York for a huge four-game series against the hated Yankees, and they also have three more against the Bombers in Tampa before it’s all said and done. Boston clearly appears to have the easier road, but as Chris Berman will often tell you, that’s why they play the gaaaaaaaames. You wanted excitement to finish the season, you got it. Why do I get the sense that no one stood up and shouted “yeah!” after reading that? Oh, right, the NFL exists. Noted.
Tigers 3, A’s 0 — I don’t care if it was the lowly A’s he defeated, by a show of hands, who wants to face Justin Verlander in the playoffs? Or could this be one of those scenarios where a pitcher experiences a phenomenal regular season and then gets lit up in the postseason? He’s 24-5 and yesterday was his 12th straight win. If a “zone” actually exists, Verlander has it in headlock and is repeatedly whaling on it like Nolan Ryan on Robin Ventura. With each start, he’s gaining a vote or two for MVP, which is great because people will get annoyed by a pitcher receiving MVP votes.
Cards 5, Phils 0 — The Cards are still in the wildcard picture (3.5 games back) but time is running out. They have won 9 of 11, clearly inspired by the fact this could very well be Fat Albert’s final weeks in a Cardinals uniform.
Giants 12, Rockies 5 — The San Francisco bats have come alive about three weeks too late. With the pressure of a division title no longer there, a relaxed Carlos Beltran went 2-for-5 with a double and an RBI.
Mets 7, Braves 5 — The Mets took two of three in Atlanta to justify what a confusing team they can be. They went from an embarrassing sweep at home to the Nationals, showing all signs of being completely pathetic, to playing legitimately respectable, a word seldomly used when discussing this team. The Braves finish with the Marlins, Nats and Phillies.
Blue Jays 3, Yanks 0 — Brandon Morrow went eight innings and allowed four hits while striking out eight. Notorious opener, Frank Frank, amazingly closed the deal allowing just one hit.
Brewers 8, Reds 1 — Zack Greinke pitched seven innings of two-hit ball and struck out 10. This is a wonderful time for him to be pitching so well. Perhaps the Brewers can upset the Phillies in the NLCS?
Angels 11, O’s 2 — After winning four straight the Orioles got back to their lovable losing ways, which means a triumphant return to The Wire. Snoop and friends will never be forgiven for this one:
[Photo via Getty]

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107 Responses to “Yardwork: A Red Sox Collapse is Upon Us”
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September 19th, 2011 at 11:34 AM
Boston will still get in. They get to play the Orioles 7 times.
September 19th, 2011 at 11:35 AM
Bodie going down was really effing sad. I wish I hadn’t watched that again.
September 19th, 2011 at 11:35 AM
Crossing my fingers that the Brewers have plugged the leaks and have regained control of the ship. 2.5 games ahead of the D’Backs. Really hope Atlanta holds on to the WC.. they’re a dumpster fire right now and would much rather play them instead of watching Tony LaDrunka over manage his crappy baseball team.
September 19th, 2011 at 11:36 AM
WWoS – I photoshopped this special for you. You may now proceed to gravatar.com and upload it.
September 19th, 2011 at 11:37 AM
Are the Yanks going to tank against the Rays? That’s the only way Boston does not get in.
September 19th, 2011 at 11:37 AM
Thank God I was at their only actual win in the series. That was fun. If they can be competent against the Orioles, and let the Yankees and Rays beat up each other, there’s no reason they wont make the playoffs. Doesnt mean they’re not getting swept in round 1 though. That’s not panicky, that’s reality.
September 19th, 2011 at 11:38 AM
it was a horseshit throw, larry.
September 19th, 2011 at 11:38 AM
Preach on, brutha.
September 19th, 2011 at 11:38 AM
You know, the Red Sox still have an offense better than 27 other teams in baseball. Pedroia isn’t going to hit .217 over the next 4 weeks.
September 19th, 2011 at 11:38 AM
they’re a dumpster fire right now and would much rather play them instead of watching Tony LaDrunka over manage his crappy baseball team.
Err.. wait.. if St. Louis wins the Wildcard they couldn’t play the Brewers in the first round. NM. Dumb rule.
September 19th, 2011 at 11:39 AM
If playing spoiler can’t get the Orioles to play good baseball, they should really just go bowling.
September 19th, 2011 at 11:39 AM
tony LaDrunka? cmon…we can do better than that.
September 19th, 2011 at 11:39 AM
Doesnt matter how good your offense is, youre not consistently going to win 9-7 games in the playoffs.
September 19th, 2011 at 11:39 AM
Truth. I would rank Boston as the weakest of the possible playoff teams in the AL right now. I never thought I’d say that this season.
and our starters for the doubleheader with Baltimore today are Weiland and Lackey.
/drinks
September 19th, 2011 at 11:40 AM
tony LaDrunka? cmon…we can do better than that.
Tony “Shingle Scarred” LaRussa?
September 19th, 2011 at 11:40 AM
tony LaDrunka? cmon…we can do better than that.
I’m all ears. I didn’t think it was that bad, really. Much easier to type out than Tony “I’ll do one” LaRussa.
September 19th, 2011 at 11:41 AM
yea…i got nothin.
September 19th, 2011 at 11:41 AM
/Metstastic
That scene from The Wire is incredible. Bodie doesn’t back down.
September 19th, 2011 at 11:42 AM
my team played Connor Jackson, Darnell McDonald, and Mike Aviles in the field yesterday. Red Sox don’t deserve to win with that mediocre show. I’m convinced that the Sox gotta dump Jed Lowrie after the season. Good utility player but he can’t stay healthy and will never be an everyday player in the league. Thank goodness for Marco Scutaro who, along with Ellsbury, has been the only bright spot lately
September 19th, 2011 at 11:43 AM
Neither the Yankees or Red Sox will make the World Series anyways. It’s going to be the Tigers or Rangers and I’m leaning heavily on the Rangers again.
September 19th, 2011 at 11:44 AM
We were giving LaRussa all kinds of shit on Saturday. There were a few DUI cheers for him. I hate his bullpen shit by the way.
/Phillies would pulverise the Cards in the NLDS if they faced one another
September 19th, 2011 at 11:44 AM
I’m glad you said this.
September 19th, 2011 at 11:45 AM
The Yankees are winning the World Series.
September 19th, 2011 at 11:45 AM
We were giving LaRussa all kinds of shit on Saturday. There were a few DUI cheers for him.
Come on man, he was just resting his eyes.
/applauds Phillymantis for his jabs at LaRussa
September 19th, 2011 at 11:45 AM
i enjoy the fact that hernia had to switch the wire clips to accomodate the orioles suckiness.
we used to get them when the o’s won, but there were too many good clips being wasted waiting for that steaming pile of angelos to win a fucking game.
September 19th, 2011 at 11:45 AM
tony multiple sc-larussa?
September 19th, 2011 at 11:45 AM
saving for ammunition later? or glad I’m not a homer? I don’t have any confidence in the pitching staffs in NY and Boston against the hot lineups of the other teams.
September 19th, 2011 at 11:46 AM
The Yankees are winning the World Series.
I’ve got Phillies/Tigers. That would be a pretty sweet series. Would be awesome to see Verlander take on Lee/Doc a few times.
September 19th, 2011 at 11:46 AM
hard to win it when they won’t make it there.
September 19th, 2011 at 11:46 AM
Shingles McShingleson
September 19th, 2011 at 11:47 AM
I think the Phillies will make it to the World Series but would take great pleasure in seeing their offense crap the bed again like last year vs the Giants
September 19th, 2011 at 11:47 AM
FISTER!
September 19th, 2011 at 11:47 AM
I was ranting hard against Tony LaImakebaseballexcrutiating on twitter Saturday night.
September 19th, 2011 at 11:47 AM
Well, may not matter if he only has 1 and a half weeks left.
September 19th, 2011 at 11:47 AM
Good one… I had to crop it, and I figured GWB was the best choice to remain.
All this month, I kept thinking even if the Sox missed, it was because they had 4 of their top 5 starters out with injury. What really gets me, and makes the difference, is that they had a healthy Jon Lester pitch twice with a chance to nearly clinch the spot, and he couldn’t get the job done either time. I love the kid, and he’s had some good wins for the Sox over the years, but with all those injuries, it was on him the last two spots, and he blew it.
September 19th, 2011 at 11:49 AM
Lester is trying to be too fancy with his off speed stuff instead of pounding it high and inside. He has a great fastball if he would just throw the fucking pitch more often. Rays have salivated at the site of a weak bitch-ass breaking ball just hanging there.
September 19th, 2011 at 11:49 AM
Annamaria Pujols
September 19th, 2011 at 11:49 AM
If playing spoiler can’t get the Orioles to play good baseball, they should really just go bowling.
The Os have actually been playing OK (for them) in this role against the Rays and Angels the last week or so.
September 19th, 2011 at 11:51 AM
/giggles
September 19th, 2011 at 11:51 AM
Well I know the Red Sox will be fine because Kevin Gregg loves giving up leads to Boston.
September 19th, 2011 at 11:52 AM
Can almost say the same thing about Reddick/Kalish. Reddick gets so hot sometimes, but I’m not convinced he can break .250 over a full season next year. Marco Scutaro earned himself an arbitration/club option offer for next year for sure. Iglesias will hit, but I’d like to see him get one more year in Pawtucket, just in case he stops being pissed about not being in the majors, and uses that time to learn the strike zone, and the difference between a fastball and a curveball.
September 19th, 2011 at 11:52 AM
Watson, i chuckled typing it that way.
and if Chief is around, hey do some voodoo magic to get the Twins to beat the Yankees today. Oh wait, AJ Burnett is pitching. No voodoo needed
September 19th, 2011 at 11:53 AM
Well I know the Red Sox will be fine because Kevin Gregg loves giving up leads to Boston.
A Syracuse and Red Sox fan? May God have mercy on your soul (or actually whatever has taken its place).
September 19th, 2011 at 11:53 AM
it’s so hard to believe he is almost 36. He’s still playing fairly well. I’m also concerned about Youkilis from here on out. I will not be surprised if he isn’t on the team within a couple years due to not staying healthy
September 19th, 2011 at 11:53 AM
@traderjack: Yeah, I don’t have much confidence in the Yankees pitching either. A Yanks-Sox ALCS would be a nightmare for both bullpens.
September 19th, 2011 at 11:54 AM
Kevin Gregg loves giving up leads to Boston.
ahem… boston is not unique in this reagrd.
September 19th, 2011 at 11:55 AM
Don’t worry. The Tigers will be beating one of those teams in the first round.
September 19th, 2011 at 11:55 AM
5 hour, 15-14 games. ugh. Unless Mariano and Papelbon can pitch multiple innings every day, there’s little hope for the bullpens. I would love Robertson on my team though. He’s much more consistent than Daniel Bard
September 19th, 2011 at 11:55 AM
The Phillies are definitely the best team in the NL. It does concern me when they take their foot off the gas this week. Teams that do that have a history of having trouble flipping that switch back on come playoff time.
MLB playoffs will be good as a whole this year. I have faith.
September 19th, 2011 at 11:55 AM
This is what I loved about Beckett in 2007. And why I’m shocked that Lester (especially since Beckett has that cutter now too) hasn’t picked up. If you have a plus fastball that is a swing and miss pitch, (and both do or have had), then you shouldn’t need to throw much else the first time through the lineup. When Beckett was dealing, he would go mostly FBs first time through the lineup, but with great location making it a swing/miss pitch. Second and third times through he’d add that plus 12-6 curve, and a pretty good changeup. If you can give three diff looks for your first 27 batters, you have a pretty good shot at success. Of course, Lester has struggled early in starts, not later, so who the hell knows.
September 19th, 2011 at 11:56 AM
Hey, I’m hearing that Netflix won’t allow multiple streaming anymore. How can they do that?
September 19th, 2011 at 11:56 AM
This Phillies team is better than the 08 version. I just dont see how they dont win. Ive got Phils over Tigers.
September 19th, 2011 at 11:56 AM
Except Papelbon has been one of the top 5 closers in the league this year. It’s the middle relief that blows.
September 19th, 2011 at 11:56 AM
Even if the Tigers suck once they get there, I still love playoff baseball. I’ll be at a bar almost every night watching.
September 19th, 2011 at 11:56 AM
It all depends on Verlander. If the Sox play the Tigers, they will smack him around.
September 19th, 2011 at 11:57 AM
I had confidence in the Yankee pen until about 3 weeks ago when Boone Logan forgot how to get left handed hitters out. Not sure what happened there. Robertson had a small rough stretch but he appears to have righted it.
Don’t get me started on Soriano. That makes two professional baseball players with that surname that I have a hard time watching.
September 19th, 2011 at 11:57 AM
Ryan Howard chokes in big moments again. That’s how
September 19th, 2011 at 11:57 AM
At least with all the injuries and bad luck for the Sox, and Adrian Gonzalez being given a free pass for not showing up for September… if they miss the playoffs, it will ultimately be because two home-grown guys (Bard/Lester) couldn’t come through down the stretch in big spots.
September 19th, 2011 at 11:58 AM
The big problem with the Red Sox is that while they can beat up on a team’s ace, they struggle with the 2-5 guys in the rotation.
September 19th, 2011 at 11:58 AM
It really depends, I think they’ll still play regulars to hope they start hitting more (Rollins and Polly especially), but they might give Raul, Howard and Utley some time off.
September 19th, 2011 at 11:58 AM
It really does depend on Verlander. If he shits the bed, the Tigers might get swept. But if he shows up, they could win a 5-game series with him throwing twice. However, they probably need him to pitch 3 times if in the ALCS if they want to win that. Anyone else remember when Porcello was supposed to become a top of the rotation arm? Sigh.
September 19th, 2011 at 11:59 AM
Except Papelbon has been one of the top 5 closers in the league this year. It’s the middle relief that blows.
i was referring to gregg giving up leads, not papelfag.
September 19th, 2011 at 11:59 AM
I love that Doug Fister was able to escape the offense purgatory that is Seattle. He finally gets some damn run support. Good pitcher
September 19th, 2011 at 12:00 PM
Just you wait…AJ has the chance to do wonders against the likes of Parmalee, ‘Mullet’, Butera, Dinkelman, etc.
September 19th, 2011 at 12:00 PM
What do you mean by multiple streaming? No idea what youre talking about, but I did get an email from teh founder of Netflix this morning apologizing for being a doofus.
September 19th, 2011 at 12:01 PM
has the fanbase and team really turned against Joe Mauer as some people have said?
September 19th, 2011 at 12:01 PM
Ryan Howard chokes in big moments again. That’s how
howard could have an a-rod type of playoffs and the phils will still win the ws.
i loath them, but they are winning it all this year.
September 19th, 2011 at 12:01 PM
It depends when the smoke/mirrors act for Valverde ends. I’m 90% sure he will blow 10 saves in the next calendar year, especially with that awful WHIP. It’s just a matter of can he keep it going through the playoffs (a la 2008 Lidge) or reality hits him sooner (a la 2005 Lidge)
September 19th, 2011 at 12:01 PM
I read he’s struck out the last 7 batters he’s faced.
September 19th, 2011 at 12:01 PM
Oh fuck off.
/$125 million to go
//drinks heavily
September 19th, 2011 at 12:01 PM
You’re right. Thank you for reminding me. I can’t decide if his death or Omar’s made me the saddest.
September 19th, 2011 at 12:02 PM
/starts making a list of current Red Sox players he does not want to see on the roster next year
//list grows to 10
September 19th, 2011 at 12:02 PM
Yeah, Valverde is ready for a collapse. I hate that guy.
September 19th, 2011 at 12:03 PM
You wanna know how ridiculously bad it’s gotten? I got linked to this yesterday. Read about 1/3 of the way through.
September 19th, 2011 at 12:03 PM
All you need to know about the wire:
The good guys lose. The bad guys win. Everybody else dies.
September 19th, 2011 at 12:04 PM
holy shit i just spit out my water. oh man…
September 19th, 2011 at 12:04 PM
Wow. Just wow.
September 19th, 2011 at 12:05 PM
Hey mom… if I die in my sleep way too young, I want people to remember me as an angry sports fan, mkay?
September 19th, 2011 at 12:05 PM
Speechless.
September 19th, 2011 at 12:06 PM
I didn’t even make it to this gem, following.
September 19th, 2011 at 12:07 PM
if that were mine, it would say “he was a red sox fan, though angry with half the 2011 Red Sox Roster, the Syracuse basketball point guard situation, Danny Ainge’s 2010-2011 Celtics free agent and trade deadline moves, and the new NFL kickoff rule”
September 19th, 2011 at 12:07 PM
I got linked to this yesterday. Read about 1/3 of the way through.
Oh my.
September 19th, 2011 at 12:08 PM
Chief gets my vote for comment of the day. Obit of the year
September 19th, 2011 at 12:08 PM
I got linked to this yesterday. Read about 1/3 of the way through.
Speechless.
That’s the strangest obit I’ve ever read.
September 19th, 2011 at 12:08 PM
holy shit, I had to read that about 3 times. unreal.
September 19th, 2011 at 12:08 PM
Is it impolite to laugh? I’m so conflicted.
September 19th, 2011 at 12:09 PM
Change Law & Order to Swamp People and you’ve got a recipe for fun right there
September 19th, 2011 at 12:09 PM
Is it impolite to laugh? I’m so conflicted.
I just feel bad that the kid seems to have a family that lacks any sort of perspective. What’s his tombstone going to say?
September 19th, 2011 at 12:11 PM
At some point I will figure out how I feel about the Pitt/Cuse to ACC move. Part of me says “I told you so” (four 16-team directional conferences), but I really did think Pitt would end up Big 10.
I will say this… Pitt has traditionally recruited in Florida very well for football, and NYC very well for basketball. The ACC move protects the presence in those markets a little better. If they were competing with traditional B1G teams for football talent, it would end badly.
/looks at Ricky Stanzi gravatar
//ended badly anyway
September 19th, 2011 at 12:11 PM
Or maybe they wanted a tribue to their son’s sense of humor? Laughter heals all wounds?
September 19th, 2011 at 12:12 PM
and watch Cedar Rapids for at least one great funny moment referencing the wire.
September 19th, 2011 at 12:12 PM
I feel dumb not knowing. Is that a physical token, or just asking for money?
September 19th, 2011 at 12:12 PM
I just feel bad that the kid seems to have a family that lacks any sort of perspective. What’s his tombstone going to say?
Josiah Abeler. He loved free food and died too young. Probably because he liked free food.
September 19th, 2011 at 12:13 PM
They’re asking you to donate a charity in memory of him.
/non-profit employee
//has to read WAY too many obits every damn day for this type of information
///3 hours of my day are very morbid
September 19th, 2011 at 12:13 PM
@si_vault just posted this awesome picture summing up the Orioles season
September 19th, 2011 at 12:14 PM
it’s funny, but sad that his life and his family’s life had such a narrow perspective that was included in his obit.
still sad he was only 22.
September 19th, 2011 at 12:15 PM
Watching Bears football?
September 19th, 2011 at 12:15 PM
Here lies Joseph. He was such a broseph.
September 19th, 2011 at 12:15 PM
2011 Orioles Baseball: A Homoerotic Collision Disaster
September 19th, 2011 at 12:16 PM
Same as mine: “Fuck Joe Mauer”
September 19th, 2011 at 12:16 PM
Touche.
September 19th, 2011 at 12:16 PM
Haha. That’s awesome.
September 19th, 2011 at 12:17 PM
2011 Orioles Baseball: Shhhhhhh… We’re Sleeping
September 19th, 2011 at 12:17 PM
damn. his name was Josiah, not Joseph. I’m a little rusty today.
September 19th, 2011 at 12:22 PM
Geez, I don’t know. I wouldn’t presume to know how to act if I had to bury my son. They probably wrote that stuff in an effort to show how passionate he was about sports. I’d cut the family a break.
September 19th, 2011 at 1:20 PM
Hey, Bosox fans — Bucky Fuckin’ Dent.
Just wanted to say that. Felt so good, what the hell …
Bucky Fuckin’ Dent.
Never gets old.
September 19th, 2011 at 6:03 PM
The Orioles beat them today! The only thing sweeter than Boston folding like a cheap suit if the sound of a car running over one of those wannabe gay guy cycling in their cutesy little outfits while they ignore the traffic laws.