Maryland’s Uniforms Failed the Eye Test

All, College Football, Jerseys Tim Ryan September 6th. 2011, 7:45am

Last night Maryland debuted one of its 32 ways to test the limits of your eyeballs and appreciation for caution tape. During the broadcast, ESPN’s Sean McDonough offered Matt Millen an early opportunity to take a swing at the fashionably wounded uniforms, but he predictably bunted out to the catcher by calling them “colorful.” Perhaps he was being kind considering the first 20 minutes of the game on Twitter were spent bashing the jerseys rather than his analysis, and rightfully so, because the players looked like factory-rejected Transformers hastily pulled from the assembly line.

For once I think we can all agree and comfortably say this unfortunate union of Project Runway fail is the worst attempt at outfitting a team in the history of sports, movies included. Simply put, a uniform divided against itself cannot stand.

[via @ClayTravisBGID]

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24 Responses to “Maryland’s Uniforms Failed the Eye Test”

1
Breesus Says:
September 6th, 2011 at 7:58 AM
And understandably so, because the players looked like factory-rejected Transformers hastily pulled from the assembly line.
I’m tired of everything being catered toward “the kids” because they’re Madison Avenue’s target demographic. Kids don’t know shit. They’re too young to have perspective and taste. They like Lady Gaga, Vampires, and ugly-ass uniforms. These are not the people who should be dictating our culture to the adults.
/end rant
//now get out of my yard
2
Caribou Says:
September 6th, 2011 at 8:01 AM
And understandably so, because the players looked like factory-rejected Transformers hastily pulled from the assembly line.
If Under Armour is trying make some headway into the Collegiate landscape, this sure as hell is no way to do it. Those uni’s looked like some Medieval Knights on the battlefields of Yorkshire
3
mizerle06 asks for the autoplay to be turned off Says:
September 6th, 2011 at 8:02 AM
Breesus – Craig Ferguson had a good rant one time on marketing and advertising catering to youth. I’d link it but I can’t find it. it’s similar to yours, but he’s famous, so his is better.
4
Some Random Old Dude Says:
September 6th, 2011 at 8:07 AM
Breesus, you said it. I watched only two plays last night, primarily ’cause those uniforms are crap.
5
Mantis Toboggan Says:
September 6th, 2011 at 8:13 AM
Kids don’t know shit. They’re too young to have perspective and taste.
Accurate statement. When I was 12 I thought Limp Bizkit and Kidrock were cool.
6
Mr. C Says:
September 6th, 2011 at 8:17 AM
I said last night I liked them and I still do. Each profile view is interesting. Head on or from the back is another matter entirely …
Are we really going to make football uniforms a larger statement on culture? Breesus makes an interesting parallel, but I’d argue those are pop culture references. Don’t we have to measure over generations for an accurate culture “score”? And wouldn’t we (the US) be allowed a couple of bumps in the road, anyway? We are pretty young after all.
7
Property of Sallie Mae Says:
September 6th, 2011 at 8:19 AM
Accurate statement. When I was 12 I thought Limp Bizkit and Kidrock were cool.
You had great taste.
/Three Dollar Bill, Yall$
//Bawitdaba-da bang-da-bang-diggy-diggy-diggy
8
FredSanford Says:
September 6th, 2011 at 8:24 AM
First day of school and the busses are just not showing up. Not sure where the kids will be at the end of the day. New efficient bussing schedule my ass.
9
mmonast Says:
September 6th, 2011 at 8:24 AM
Someone on twitter last night compared them to the uniforms teams wore in Any Given Sunday
10
FredSanford Says:
September 6th, 2011 at 8:25 AM
And get off my lawn as well.
11
JimBobv2 Says:
September 6th, 2011 at 8:26 AM
A variation of the cliche “If it’s too loud, you’re too old” applies to these uniforms, IMO.
Under Armour and Maryland have obviously looked at what Oregon and Nike have done and they are trying to mimic that approach to appealing to 16 to 24yo males to try and elevate a football program that doesn’t have the tradition of the Alabamas of the world.
Boise State has their blue turf.
Oregon and now Maryland have crazy uniforms.
Miami has the “The U” mystique.
Whatever works.
The key for me was that Maryland won the game.
12
Breesus Says:
September 6th, 2011 at 8:26 AM
Nike has admitted that they let Oregon players give input in uniform design. Seriously? These guys barely get into college and then drive 117 MPH on weed. And THEY decide how their university looks on the field? Come on.
13
DetectiveBunkMoreland Says:
September 6th, 2011 at 8:26 AM
They’re not catering to the kids because of Madison Ave, they’re catering to the kids because they want HS studs to consider Maryland.
http://www.grantland.com/story/_/id/6909937/how-does-oregon-football-keep-winning
14
mmonast Says:
September 6th, 2011 at 8:30 AM
Nike has admitted that they let Oregon players give input in uniform design
Did I hear correctly during last nights broadcast that the team captains will select the jersey combos moving forward this season?
15
Mr. C Says:
September 6th, 2011 at 8:31 AM
Nike has admitted that they let Oregon players give input in uniform design
Did I hear correctly during last nights broadcast that the team captains will select the jersey combos moving forward this season?
I heard this as well.
16
Nada Says:
September 6th, 2011 at 8:35 AM
Breesus makes an interesting parallel, but I’d argue those are pop culture references.
In a world where Ocho Stinko and T.O./Me-Oh get their own TV shows, there is no line between sports and pop culture. (See also: Simmons, Bill, Wire references, ad nauseum.)
17
cleet Says:
September 6th, 2011 at 8:35 AM
I’m embarrassed my team lost to those uniforms.
18
TheRealAC Says:
September 6th, 2011 at 8:36 AM
i just threw up. not sure if this is old or not.
http://youtu.be/dyMBZXoRlWY
19
Mr. C Says:
September 6th, 2011 at 8:38 AM
Breesus makes an interesting parallel, but I’d argue those are pop culture references.
In a world where Ocho Stinko and T.O./Me-Oh get their own TV shows, there is no line between sports and pop culture. (See also: Simmons, Bill, Wire references, ad nauseum.)
This is my point. They’re all pop culture references, which by their very nature, are fleeting. It takes time for something to remain in and influence the social commentary.
20
guinnessgirl13 Says:
September 6th, 2011 at 8:38 AM
I liked the tweet that the 70′s Houston Astros wouldn’t be caught dead in those.
21
mmonast Says:
September 6th, 2011 at 8:52 AM
(See also: Simmons, Bill, Wire references, ad nauseum.)
Shots fired! Get Bunk and McNulty on the scene. Marlo and Snoop just put those jerseys in the vacants
22
s1rweeze Says:
September 6th, 2011 at 9:27 AM
I’m tired of everything being catered toward “the kids” because they’re Madison Avenue’s target demographic. Kids don’t know shit.
Irrelevant. They know how to spend their parents’ money, that’s all Under Armor cares about.
23
roger from oz Says:
September 6th, 2011 at 11:38 AM
Only thing dumber than the Terps new UA uniforms is Matt Millen. What idiot designed those uniforms. Here’s a novel idea. Get a winning program and people will buy your jerseys and the alumni will watch the games. Get out of the fashion business. This is football, not Project Runway.
24
ugarte Says:
September 6th, 2011 at 12:07 PM
I’d be able to make a more coherent Sonny and Cher joke if I remembered the scoring system for Puttin’ on the Hits. You’ll have to settle for a lazy reference to the designer skiing into a tree.

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Maryland’s Uniforms Failed the Eye Test

24 Responses to “Maryland’s Uniforms Failed the Eye Test”

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