Kris Humphries Met Kim Kardashian’s Ex-Boyfriend Ray J On An Airplane
If you are as big of a fan of sham weddings as I am, then you are absolutely going to love this story. Kris Humphries, who just married Kim Kardashian a little over a week ago, ended up sitting across the aisle on a recent flight from the man his new wife made a sex tape with a few years ago. You remember? The sex tape that made her famous and started the chain of events that caused her to marry Kris Humphries? If Kris Humphries were Marty McFly, Ray J banging Kim Kardashian on a flip cam was his version of the Enchantment Under The Sea dance.
Make it sound sexy, Page 6:
After minutes of “awkward silence,” Ray J walked up to Humphries’ seat to congratulate him, but Kris acted like he didn’t recognize him. According to a source, “Ray J said, ‘Come on, you know who I am. I just want to say congratulations.’ Then Kris, realizing he was cornered, said, ‘Oh yeah, yeah, I’m sorry I know who you are.’
That kind of sounds like the kind of thing a celebrity would say to someone when they have no idea who they are, but that person thinks they should. And in all fairness to Humphries, if I hadn’t watched For The Love Of Ray J religiously (What up, Fiesty?), I probably wouldn’t recognize the dude either. All Humphries has to do is prove that he has no interest in reality television or the people on it and I’ll believe he didn’t recognize the guy who made a sex tape with his wife who is a reality television star and oops forget I said anything.
This one’s for you, Kris. Don’t worry, your kids will love it.
PREVIOUSLY: Kim Kardashian’s wedding a brilliant ploy to sell more sex tapes
FUTURE POST: Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries on the rocks?
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September 1st, 2011 at 3:43 PM
This is the pristine content that we’ve come to expect from TBL. Bravo.
September 1st, 2011 at 3:44 PM
“Hey Chuck, it’s Marvin, your cousin Marvin Berry….”
Why would he say his last name to his cousin if it was the same as Chuck’s?
September 1st, 2011 at 3:45 PM
Oh this is rich. It would’ve been better if there were some how does my dick taste references. Either way, this is awkward and awesome all in one.
September 1st, 2011 at 3:45 PM
Should I know Ray from anything else? I wouldn’t recognize him if I saw him …
September 1st, 2011 at 3:46 PM
“Ray J said, ‘Come on, you know who I am…”
…and what I’ve done to the woman you just married with my 3rd forearm.
September 1st, 2011 at 3:46 PM
But, does Ray J watch Science Fiction Theatre?
September 1st, 2011 at 3:46 PM
Wait, they’re still married? Hasn’t it been like a week?
September 1st, 2011 at 3:47 PM
Wouldnt you watch your wife in the sex tape that the rest of the country has all seen?
September 1st, 2011 at 3:47 PM
None of these people should be famous for anything either. Kardashian and those of her ilk can all DIAF.
September 1st, 2011 at 3:47 PM
1.21 GIGAWATTS!!!!!!!!! GREAT SCOTT!!!!!!
September 1st, 2011 at 3:48 PM
Wouldnt you watch your wife in the sex tape that the rest of the country has all seen?
Not after I met her/started dating her. But I’m sure he saw it before he met her.
September 1st, 2011 at 3:48 PM
Her sex tape and Hilton’s sex tape were complete weaksauce.
September 1st, 2011 at 3:48 PM
A dark sense of curiosity says I think I would …
September 1st, 2011 at 3:49 PM
Everybody’s got a type right? Humpheries has to be black form the waste down, because this marriage makes zero sense.
September 1st, 2011 at 3:49 PM
Her sex tape and Hilton’s sex tape were complete weaksauce.
Still haven’t seen the KK tape. All I remember from Paris Hilton’s is the green nightvision. Was she even having sex? Or was it just her lying in bed sans clothing?
September 1st, 2011 at 3:49 PM
I’m George Mcfly, your density.
September 1st, 2011 at 3:49 PM
Really? I would think youd want to watch it just to see if she’s into any weird shit.
September 1st, 2011 at 3:49 PM
Especially compared to Keeley Hazell’s…
/opens Incognito window
September 1st, 2011 at 3:49 PM
TJ
Brett Lawrie is a fucking man
/end TJ
September 1st, 2011 at 3:49 PM
i hate that this assbitch is famous only b/c she made a POOR sex tape and has famous parents, ala jizz dumpster bird face paris hilton.
but good lord, KK is hot.
September 1st, 2011 at 3:50 PM
Ray J is the Wally Pipp in this scenario — forgotten by history.
September 1st, 2011 at 3:50 PM
Who do you think? The Libyans.
September 1st, 2011 at 3:50 PM
Thats what they mean by half-black, right?
September 1st, 2011 at 3:50 PM
Chances are, if she’s got a sex tape on the internet that she’s probably going to let you put it anywhere you want.
September 1st, 2011 at 3:50 PM
You can’t be serious. If I hadn’t seen it prior to marrying her, why the hell would I want to watch it after I married her?? You really don’t get guys one bit.
September 1st, 2011 at 3:50 PM
It’s not like she’s still banging said dude. Granted, it’s permanently memorialized, but it’s time to move on.
September 1st, 2011 at 3:51 PM
Really? I would think youd want to watch it just to see if she’s into any weird shit.
No… I wouldn’t really want to know whom my girlfriends have slept with in the past, let alone watch it. Just kind of a mindfuck. If she’s into some freaky shit, I’m sure I’ll find out sooner or later.
September 1st, 2011 at 3:51 PM
Don’t bother.
September 1st, 2011 at 3:52 PM
Or you could, you know, just ask her if she’s into anything kinky.
September 1st, 2011 at 3:52 PM
Agreed on both accounts.
/would still give it to KK
September 1st, 2011 at 3:52 PM
What? Not after, before you marry her. Definitely before.
September 1st, 2011 at 3:52 PM
Marty, don’t be such a square. Everybody who’s anybody drinks.
September 1st, 2011 at 3:52 PM
Thats what they mean by half-black, right?
It means he has a deep, V shaped, back.
September 1st, 2011 at 3:52 PM
You really don’t get guys one bit.
Yeah… guys don’t want to see or hear or know about some other dude’s dong penetrating their current flavor of the month. We’re very territorial that way.
September 1st, 2011 at 3:53 PM
Worst Dr. Suess story ever…
September 1st, 2011 at 3:53 PM
agreed. definitely not good enough to make anyone famous.
September 1st, 2011 at 3:54 PM
I just dont think there’s anyway you guys would be able to NOT see this sex tape. Curiosity, your friends, whatever. Its the most famous sex tape of all the sex tapes. Sorry, youre watching it.
September 1st, 2011 at 3:54 PM
Wouldnt you watch your wife in the sex tape that the rest of the country has all seen?
You’re asking CRM so I’m assuming this means there’s a sex tape of a Jimmer real doll floating around somewhere
September 1st, 2011 at 3:54 PM
This. If I ever enter another relationship, I’m not asking the “how many people have you slept with” question. I don’t want to know. Only bad can come of it.
September 1st, 2011 at 3:54 PM
What? Not after, before you marry her. Definitely before.
before he met her/starting dating her? sure. but not after he started sleeping with her.
September 1st, 2011 at 3:54 PM
Still haven’t seen the KK tape.
Don’t bother.
yeah she shows nothing. but, if you are into a girl mouth working a freshwater eel with her clothes on, you will love it.
September 1st, 2011 at 3:55 PM
I can see not actively seeking it out if you didn’t know about it beforehand (impossible in the above scenario), but this really bothers you guys? If were allegedly in a committed relationship and you’re making a sex tap on the side, that’s another story.
September 1st, 2011 at 3:55 PM
I just dont think there’s anyway you guys would be able to NOT see this sex tape.
I think this is the right answer. I would try to convince myself that I would not want to watch it, but if it was easily accessible to me it would be very difficult to not give in to that curiousity.
September 1st, 2011 at 3:55 PM
Her sex tape and Hilton’s sex tape were complete weaksauce.
She has a surprisingly good blowjob technique and she minds the balls. So she’s got those things going for her.
September 1st, 2011 at 3:56 PM
Hey, you, get your damn hands off her!
September 1st, 2011 at 3:56 PM
Thats what they mean by half-black, right?
I always thought this was meant to describe Derek Jeter, not huge dongs. Then again, Jeter probably is a huge dick.
September 1st, 2011 at 3:56 PM
yeah she shows nothing. but, if you are into a girl mouth working a freshwater eel with her clothes on, you will love it.
I laughed.
September 1st, 2011 at 3:56 PM
because there just isn’t a sexy way to say jam a corn cob in my ass?
September 1st, 2011 at 3:56 PM
This isnt your run of the mill relationship. Its not just a sex tape. Obviously you dont want to know that much about your girl’s past. BUT EVERYONE ELSE HAS SEEN THIS. How can you resist seeing something your girl has done that everyone else around you has seen?
September 1st, 2011 at 3:57 PM
I would watch it as soon as I knew about it. If I saw it before I started sexing the lady then it wouldn’t matter. If I saw it at any time after the relationship turned sexual I would have a tough time ever blocking it out and would probably break up with her unless I was getting $18M or whatever to marry her
September 1st, 2011 at 3:57 PM
No. I would generally discuss what shit she is into once I feel comfortable enough ni the relationship rather than finding it out from an internet video of a dude fwapping his balls against her.
September 1st, 2011 at 3:57 PM
I have your car towed all the way to your house and all you’ve got for me is lite beer?
September 1st, 2011 at 3:57 PM
I met a guy who looked exactly like George McFly the other day. Mostly because of the way he was dressed and his hair. That guy was a complete psychopath.
September 1st, 2011 at 3:57 PM
/would still give it to KK
Yep. I’d give her the ‘lazy dog’.
September 1st, 2011 at 3:57 PM
I think you’re confusing hearing about the tape with actually watching it. Unless someone is going Clockwork Orange on him, I highly doubt he’s throwing popcorn in the microwave and sitting down to watch his wife get railed by a E-list celebrity.
September 1st, 2011 at 3:57 PM
All I’m trying to say .
September 1st, 2011 at 3:58 PM
I still think Marty McFly going back in time and doing what he did would still have caused him to not exist after changing the dynamic of his parent’s marriage
September 1st, 2011 at 3:58 PM
I’ll admit to having stumbling upon the Chyna sex tape once upon time. You want to talk about bad sex tapes? Yikes. I saw about a minute and a half before I lost curiosity. She has to be a man.
September 1st, 2011 at 3:58 PM
it was awful. Like watching an Alabama black snake searching for prarie dogs for a half hour. Frightening.
September 1st, 2011 at 3:58 PM
How can you resist seeing something your girl has done that everyone else around you has seen?
If it’s something you don’t want to see, it’s pretty easy to resist it. I wouldn’t know how to find the KK tape without infecting my computer with 10 viruses. Personally, I wouldn’t want to watch my fiance banging some other dude, so it would be pretty easy to avoid. That’s just me though.
September 1st, 2011 at 3:58 PM
Because I don’t want to think about or see her getting bottomed out with a giant cock.
September 1st, 2011 at 3:59 PM
her getting bottomed out with a giant cock
That too. Especially if the tape showed her getting plowed with a 3rd leg.
September 1st, 2011 at 3:59 PM
I’ll admit to having stumbling upon the Chyna sex tape once upon time
How big is Chyna’s dick?
September 1st, 2011 at 3:59 PM
I don’t think there is any chances he hasn’t seen the sex tape especially how considering locker rooms, professional or amateur are. Someone is going to have brought that up at least once in there and they were probably discussing it before he even started dating her just cause she’s a rich socialite who has a well documented history of dating professional athletes.
/hasn’t seen the sex tape cause way too many people told me not to even waste time.
September 1st, 2011 at 3:59 PM
I think CJ worded it in a confusing way, so here’s my opinion on the matter…
Once I enter into a relationship with a girl, I don’t want to hear, see or think about anyone or anything she did prior to our relationship when it comes to other guys. If I am in said relationship and I hear that she’s got some kind of sex tape out, I sure as hell am not going to seek it out and grab some popcorn UNLESS it’s her and another female (yes, I have major double standards).
September 1st, 2011 at 4:00 PM
im more surprised that someone recognized kris humphries.
September 1st, 2011 at 4:01 PM
Whattda you lookin’ at, butthead?
September 1st, 2011 at 4:01 PM
Very fucking easily
September 1st, 2011 at 4:01 PM
What would be the top 5 celebrity sex tapes of all time??
I think the only two I’ve seen are the Paris Hilton and Colin Farrell tapes. I would like to see the KK one but haven’t searched for it.
September 1st, 2011 at 4:02 PM
I’ll admit to having stumbling upon the Chyna sex tape once upon time. You want to talk about bad sex tapes? Yikes. I saw about a minute and a half before I lost curiosity. She has to be a man.
She apparently does hardcore porn now. So you can see things a lot less fuzzy and with a lot more lighting if you were so inclined to Google.
September 1st, 2011 at 4:02 PM
If my calculations are correct, when this baby hits eighty-eight miles per hour… you’re gonna see some serious shit
September 1st, 2011 at 4:02 PM
The more I read these comments, the more I believe I would feel compelled to look if I knew it was out there. But I don’t care about discussing, knowing, or seeing a girl’s past, and that puts me in a minority here.
September 1st, 2011 at 4:02 PM
How many times you think he’s dropping the “Do you know who I am?” line now that he’s married to catwoman?
September 1st, 2011 at 4:02 PM
This. Leave it to the professionals.
September 1st, 2011 at 4:03 PM
Once I enter into a relationship with a girl, I don’t want to hear, see or think about anyone or anything she did prior to our relationship when it comes to other guys
Me too. obviously i’m aware of the fact that she has a past and am perfectly fine with it, i just don’t want to hear about it. I don’t want to hang out or meet the guy(s) either. If you’re introduced to an ex of a girl you’re dating, its very hard to keep your mind from wandering. Awkward. At least that’s been my experience. I’m weird like that though.
September 1st, 2011 at 4:03 PM
Especially if the tape showed her getting plowed with a 3rd leg.
i thought it resembled more of a long skinny object than a leg. like a probe of some sort.
September 1st, 2011 at 4:03 PM
/Threadjack
Blake Griffin’s Dunking Ability (14%, 180 Votes)
The silent mass of non-commenting votes continues to shock me
/End Threadjack
September 1st, 2011 at 4:04 PM
SLACKER
September 1st, 2011 at 4:04 PM
Mine too, just no interest at all.
September 1st, 2011 at 4:04 PM
I would be heart broken after watching it. A feeling that she has been laughing or faking through every sexual encounter we have ever had with each other. I would be wrecked forever.
September 1st, 2011 at 4:05 PM
Why don’t you make like a tree… and get the heck out of here!
September 1st, 2011 at 4:05 PM
I rather enjoyed watching Allison Hannigan’s face get plastered.
September 1st, 2011 at 4:05 PM
What would be the top 5 celebrity sex tapes of all time??
Well, in terms of what it did for the people involved:
1. Kim K
2. Paris Hilton
3. Pam Anderson
812348124. Screech
In terms of quality, I cannot answer.
September 1st, 2011 at 4:06 PM
This reminds me of the cockpump scene from Van Wilder.
September 1st, 2011 at 4:06 PM
You’re like a screendoor on a battleship.
September 1st, 2011 at 4:06 PM
How could I forget Pam Anderson???? I did see that one also.
September 1st, 2011 at 4:07 PM
I rather enjoyed watching Allison Hannigan’s face get plastered.
Wait what? Is she the girl from HIMYM?
September 1st, 2011 at 4:07 PM
What?
September 1st, 2011 at 4:07 PM
It’s LEAVE! Make like a tree, and leave! You sound like an idiot when you say it.
/sequel’d
September 1st, 2011 at 4:08 PM
/high fives YYSA
September 1st, 2011 at 4:08 PM
I’m telling you fellas… Keeley Hazell. Quality sex tape. That girl can suck the rust off the bumper off a 1986 Chevy Suburban. Looks to have fine form riding the pommel horse, too.
September 1st, 2011 at 4:08 PM
i think it was submarine, but i could be wrong
September 1st, 2011 at 4:08 PM
WHOA! she has a sexy time video?
September 1st, 2011 at 4:09 PM
/washes hand
September 1st, 2011 at 4:09 PM
Would you not be able to ask her this? Or you’d never be able to convince yourself she was answering truthfully?
September 1st, 2011 at 4:09 PM
ALLEDGEDLY!
September 1st, 2011 at 4:09 PM
When did this happen? The band geek from American Pie, right?
September 1st, 2011 at 4:09 PM
Flutes in the video or GTFO.
September 1st, 2011 at 4:10 PM
You watched a similar looking redhead get spooged on. That was a fake.
/I watched it too
//Christina Aguilera’s is fake too
///so is Britney Spears
September 1st, 2011 at 4:10 PM
I rather enjoyed watching Allison Hannigan’s face get plastered.
ALLEDGEDLY!
y’all had better be providing some linkage to this.
September 1st, 2011 at 4:10 PM
If it’s not her, then it’s someone who looks just like her. Which to me makes no difference.
September 1st, 2011 at 4:11 PM
/ears perk up
What’s this? Did I miss something?
September 1st, 2011 at 4:11 PM
Where we’re going, we don’t need roads.
September 1st, 2011 at 4:11 PM
The band geek from American Pie, right?
She looks so much better now than she did in the American Pie movies. Amazing what better lighting, wardrobe and good makeup will do to a girl.
September 1st, 2011 at 4:11 PM
Oh and SC, Keeley Hazell is a great call. Has the best rack I’ve ever seen.
September 1st, 2011 at 4:11 PM
Bingo
September 1st, 2011 at 4:11 PM
Pam Anderson’s frightened me. No one else really calls the person their fucking “lover” right? I mean, that was kinda weird.
His giant peen made me uncomfortable too. Especially for a white dude.
September 1st, 2011 at 4:12 PM
I’m telling you fellas… Keeley Hazell. Quality sex tape. That girl can suck the rust off the bumper off a 1986 Chevy Suburban. Looks to have fine form riding the pommel horse, too.
link?
September 1st, 2011 at 4:12 PM
Porn discussions are always enjoyable here.
September 1st, 2011 at 4:12 PM
How I Maimed Your Mother.
September 1st, 2011 at 4:12 PM
His giant peen made me uncomfortable too. Especially for a white dude.
Tommy Lee has a giant dong too?
September 1st, 2011 at 4:13 PM
Buncha ginger lovers up in this bitch.
September 1st, 2011 at 4:13 PM
I also didn’t know this existed.
September 1st, 2011 at 4:13 PM
I didn’t just look it up on youporn and thus am not able to confirm that that doesn’t even look close to Alyson Hannigan
September 1st, 2011 at 4:15 PM
Oh God, I’m convinced it’s a fake.
September 1st, 2011 at 4:15 PM
I rather enjoyed watching Allison Hannigan’s face get plastered.
That one was proven to be fake. As was the Meg White sex tape (which was hideous, no matter who it was).
September 1st, 2011 at 4:16 PM
The proper saying is submarine, but similar to his make like a tree and get the hell out of here, Biff botches the simile.
September 1st, 2011 at 4:16 PM
Tommy Lee has a giant dong too?
Tommy Lee’s cock is so big, it has an elbow.
/Jeffrey Ross
//Charlie Sheen Roast is coming up in a few weeks.
September 1st, 2011 at 4:16 PM
I am a star, I’m a star, I’m a star, I’m a star. I am a big, bright, shining star. That’s right.
September 1st, 2011 at 4:17 PM
Tommy Lee’s cock is so big, it has an elbow.
So apparently one has to be insanely hung to star in a sex tape? Is that the pattern we’ve established here?
September 1st, 2011 at 4:17 PM
You need to find it. That 19 year old rack is OUTSTANDING.
September 1st, 2011 at 4:17 PM
oh that’s right. i had them confused. my bad.
September 1st, 2011 at 4:18 PM
You need to find it. That 19 year old rack is OUTSTANDING.
I’m pretty sure that even though she is no longer 19, her rack is still outstanding.
September 1st, 2011 at 4:21 PM
So apparently one has to be insanely hung to star in a sex tape? Is that the pattern we’ve established here?
I’ll let Ron White respond to this.
September 1st, 2011 at 4:21 PM
Not ashamed to admit it. I love a good looking ginger.
September 1st, 2011 at 4:23 PM
Laura Prepon back on the That 70′s show days was smoking.
September 1st, 2011 at 4:24 PM
I may or may not have a restraining order from Deborah Ann Woll.
/she signed it
/takes it out and smells it
September 1st, 2011 at 4:24 PM
Just in Will Ferrell SNL skits.
September 1st, 2011 at 4:24 PM
Laura Prepon back on the That 70′s show days was smoking
Really? I don’t see it. I’ve never heard that from anyone either, so it’s not just my impeccably high standards.
September 1st, 2011 at 4:25 PM
Julianne Moore.
September 1st, 2011 at 4:25 PM
Such bullshit. She’s fucking Stackhouse in the back of the truck WITHOUT A TOP ON (!) and she can’t let those warlocks loose? BOO!
September 1st, 2011 at 4:25 PM
Let the primal screams of our love making reverberate off the roof of the Welshley Arms Hotel.
September 1st, 2011 at 4:25 PM
That also might have been 18 year old me, not soon to be 29 year old.
September 1st, 2011 at 4:26 PM
Angie Everheart
September 1st, 2011 at 4:26 PM
That also might have been 18 year old me, not soon to be 29 year old.
I mean, she’s definitely not ugly. But smoking hot? Ehh…
September 1st, 2011 at 4:27 PM
Ray J-”Hey Chris, nice to meet you. Quick question does Kim still fart on your cock when you blast her in the ass?”
September 1st, 2011 at 4:27 PM
Ugh I know. Anna paquin is played out man. Freshen up the nudity.
September 1st, 2011 at 4:29 PM
We need to see Pam’s too.
September 1st, 2011 at 4:30 PM
Laura Prepon is a smoke show.
September 1st, 2011 at 4:31 PM
Isla Fisher.
September 1st, 2011 at 4:31 PM
I’ve never seen purple underwear before…”
September 1st, 2011 at 4:31 PM
I chuckled and farted after reading this.
September 1st, 2011 at 4:31 PM
Joanna Garcia.
September 1st, 2011 at 4:32 PM
I’m going through a bit of a redhead stage right now… Trying to find one as I’ve never been to that part of the holy land.
September 1st, 2011 at 4:34 PM
If she can like a horn dog like in Wedding Crashers, then she wins forever.
September 1st, 2011 at 4:34 PM
Laura Prepon’s finest moment
September 1st, 2011 at 4:39 PM
SC-
Check out WGN Morning news Traffic gal Erin McElroy.
Classy looking broad.
Likey me the fire crotch
September 1st, 2011 at 6:35 PM
No. It’s not.
September 1st, 2011 at 6:36 PM
Kardashian’s sex tape is the PlayStation to Pam & Tommy Lee’s Nintendo. RESPECT the original gangsters.
September 2nd, 2011 at 2:54 PM
Yeah, I just got to wonder if Kris measures up, so to speak.