Actual ESPN the Magazine Headline: What if Michael Vick Were White? The Photo Illustration is Even Worse [UPDATE]
If you want people talking, you pull stunts like this. Congrats, Chad Millman, that’s a job well done.
It’s tough to sell an essay on Mike Vick and race, but with that headline and photo illustration, ESPN the Magazine will have people talking. For all the wrong reasons, though. This was the sub-headline:
Since the day he was arrested, people have been asking that question.
Really? Have people said that? Has anyone said, “if a white QB killed dogs, he wouldn’t have gone to jail!” or anything remotely close to that? Must have missed that discussion. [ESPN the Magazine]
[UPDATE: About 20 minutes after this post went up, ESPN took down the photo illustration and replaced it with an actual photo of Mike Vick. Then, over an hour later, they put back in the illustration. I asked ESPN why they did this, and they sent back a statement from Chad Millman: "We initially removed the Vick photo-illustration due to a licensing issue which has since been resolved. We firmly stand by our representation of the story and the photo-illustration, which has since been re-posted and appreciate and encourage the discussion it has prompted."]
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133 Responses to “Actual ESPN the Magazine Headline: What if Michael Vick Were White? The Photo Illustration is Even Worse [UPDATE]”
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August 25th, 2011 at 1:01 PM
what in the blue hell is this shit?
August 25th, 2011 at 1:01 PM
That picture will haunt my dreams.
August 25th, 2011 at 1:02 PM
the fuck?
August 25th, 2011 at 1:03 PM
I think the only thing that would be different is that there wouldn’t be the number of black people in Atlanta wearing his jersey and supporting him. The end.
August 25th, 2011 at 1:03 PM
Sammy Sosa’s dream right there
August 25th, 2011 at 1:03 PM
The interview he did a couple weeks ago confirms the fact that I still hate this dude
August 25th, 2011 at 1:03 PM
Congratulations. I am officially at a loss for words.
August 25th, 2011 at 1:04 PM
Really should be sporting jorts and negburns.
Very unrealistic ESPN, very unrealistic.
August 25th, 2011 at 1:04 PM
*nods*
I ask myself that question every single day. there are no answers though, only more questions. this really is an awful existence I have.
August 25th, 2011 at 1:04 PM
Just awful. Millman may be in over his head.
August 25th, 2011 at 1:04 PM
He wouldn’t be as fast?
August 25th, 2011 at 1:04 PM
What the…?
August 25th, 2011 at 1:05 PM
He would be white trash?
August 25th, 2011 at 1:05 PM
He looks like Everlast.
August 25th, 2011 at 1:05 PM
Kill…it…with…fire…now.
August 25th, 2011 at 1:05 PM
If Vick were white he would still have herpes and be a dog murderer. The End.
August 25th, 2011 at 1:05 PM
he’d have a lot of heart, a motor that never stops, and be well-spoken?
August 25th, 2011 at 1:05 PM
what in the blue hell is this shit?
I’m partial to “What in the Sam Hill is this shit” myself.
August 25th, 2011 at 1:06 PM
if vick was white, he’d be brett favre.
August 25th, 2011 at 1:06 PM
What if Michael Vick Were White?
he’d have a lot of heart, a motor that never stops, and be well-spoken?
you forgot tenacious and scrappy.
August 25th, 2011 at 1:06 PM
Certainly Race is an important issue in sports. But, ESPN has a way of making it a big deal in all the wrong ways and all the wrong places. Race certainly had something to do with how some people reacted to Michael Vick. That’s the case for any person of any race with some of the opposite! It was a Jew/Gentile thing as well! But, at the same time, the vast majority, and the most visceral critics of Vick, the NFL and the courts focus it on animals. Most could care less whether a white guy or black guy tortures dogs! They won’t like the person!
This issue is the very reason ESPN is vacuous and empty and full of its own cultural myopia. They are the professors in the lofty towers who have little clue and who oft do more damage than good.
August 25th, 2011 at 1:06 PM
The only salve I’ve found for my hangover is staring at hot girls on the internet. So I googled ‘smoking hot girls + tumbrl’ and it was ugly girls smoking cigarettes and cannily I did not vomit on my keyword. I did eventually find this and it decreased my hangover 13%.
http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lqacq9RRPr1qe83zao1_500.jpg NSFW
August 25th, 2011 at 1:06 PM
more people would call him “Mikey”?
August 25th, 2011 at 1:07 PM
What if Michael Vick Were White?
He’d have a smaller penis?
/SG’d
August 25th, 2011 at 1:07 PM
Does anyone ask themselves:
What if Ben Roethlisberger was black?
August 25th, 2011 at 1:07 PM
“Sweet cream on an ice cream sandwich, what in the blue hell is wrong with you?”
/the rock
August 25th, 2011 at 1:08 PM
He’d be really scrappy
August 25th, 2011 at 1:08 PM
If Vince Young was white he’d be Rex Grossman
August 25th, 2011 at 1:08 PM
He would have gone to UVA?
August 25th, 2011 at 1:08 PM
Actual ESPN Internal Memo: What if our Magazine Editors Were Bright?
August 25th, 2011 at 1:08 PM
the chick in georgia wouldn’t have said no.
August 25th, 2011 at 1:08 PM
He’d be Kirby Puckett
August 25th, 2011 at 1:08 PM
…gamer. That was always my favorite. Still don’t know wtf it means
August 25th, 2011 at 1:09 PM
damn, that Roethlisberger-Puckett line was hilarious. nice job
August 25th, 2011 at 1:09 PM
In the race draft Ben Roethlisberger would be a free agent.
August 25th, 2011 at 1:10 PM
He’d eat Fig Newtons.
He’d own a couple of Vineyard Vines shirts.
His Honda Accord would have factory wheels.
August 25th, 2011 at 1:10 PM
I doubt Michael Vick would be this pale if he were white.
August 25th, 2011 at 1:10 PM
I don’t think anyone ever said all Rex Grossman does is win.
August 25th, 2011 at 1:11 PM
I doubt Michael Vick would be this pale if he were white.
He needs to get into the tanning booth, right?
August 25th, 2011 at 1:11 PM
Aren’t dogfights usually conducted at night? Don’t see why he’d be getting all that much sun
August 25th, 2011 at 1:12 PM
Nightmare Fuel.
August 25th, 2011 at 1:12 PM
That or spray tan.
August 25th, 2011 at 1:12 PM
That picture makes me think of Chappelle’s show when he dressed up as the white newscaster.
August 25th, 2011 at 1:12 PM
If Vince Young was white he’d be Rex Grossman
I don’t think anyone ever said all Rex Grossman does is win.
He did once have his shirt off in Beansnappers after making a stop on his way back home after a loss in Grenn Bay though.
August 25th, 2011 at 1:12 PM
Zombie Vick makes rage-filled 28 Days Later zombies look slow.
August 25th, 2011 at 1:12 PM
Nightmare Fuel.
/moderated
August 25th, 2011 at 1:12 PM
He’d sip single malt scotch.
He’d have owned roller blades in the 90′s.
August 25th, 2011 at 1:12 PM
As many people that have been championing the tattoo-less Kevin Durant as our new superstar since coming out of Texas have been calling for a White Vick to step forward.
August 25th, 2011 at 1:12 PM
that picture is starting to freak me the fuck out.
August 25th, 2011 at 1:13 PM
doesn’t he go down to miami a lot? He’d have a tan from the summer, dude.
August 25th, 2011 at 1:13 PM
He would not have a v-shaped back. That’s for sure.
August 25th, 2011 at 1:13 PM
What if Jay Cutler was Asian?
August 25th, 2011 at 1:14 PM
He’d watch Conan every night.
He’d go camping.
He wouldn’t be the first to die in an 80′s movie.
August 25th, 2011 at 1:14 PM
Dave Chappelle white news reporter.
August 25th, 2011 at 1:14 PM
What if Jay Cutler was Asian?
/He would have gone to Georgia Tech
//He’d be a terrible driver
///He’d still have a small penis
August 25th, 2011 at 1:14 PM
The carbs in rice would cause him to lose a limb
August 25th, 2011 at 1:14 PM
+1
August 25th, 2011 at 1:15 PM
He’d have a hunting license and kill animals legally?
August 25th, 2011 at 1:16 PM
If Vick was white he would be a pocket QB with no speed and drafted in the 4th round.
August 25th, 2011 at 1:16 PM
We need Hernia to caption that photo ASAP.
August 25th, 2011 at 1:17 PM
My final answer: Kevin Durant
August 25th, 2011 at 1:17 PM
What if Steve Nash was black?
/for YYSA
August 25th, 2011 at 1:17 PM
Hey chuck. Ya ole pasty bastard. look at you Chuck. You look sick man. You look like you just walked up from ground zero
/big al
August 25th, 2011 at 1:17 PM
I dunno, Steve Young was ultra white what with being Mormon and all and he could move around pretty well
August 25th, 2011 at 1:18 PM
meh…he’d probably still fight dogs. that’s a white thing too.
August 25th, 2011 at 1:18 PM
this is how i talk…straight up gangsta.
August 25th, 2011 at 1:19 PM
I’m a little disappointed you didn’t use Favre as the example. Ole Britt Farr could extend the play back in his day.
August 25th, 2011 at 1:19 PM
If Vick was white, CJ wouldnt irrationally bag on him as hard as she does.
August 25th, 2011 at 1:19 PM
He would still be second to KJ.
August 25th, 2011 at 1:19 PM
ESPN changed the picture on the article
August 25th, 2011 at 1:19 PM
What if Michael Vick Were White?
He be championed for cutting penis skin in a third world country.
August 25th, 2011 at 1:19 PM
The reparations episode was on last night.
KFC & FUBU have just merged to become the worlds largest company!
Sprint stock is soaring due to 3 million overdue bills being paid!
How about a lapdance for the worlds richest man?
August 25th, 2011 at 1:20 PM
Then the ultra white bit wouldn’t have worked, I also could have cited Aaron Rodgers who’s about as good out of the pocket as any QB in the league (I’m sure the Falcons would agree)
August 25th, 2011 at 1:20 PM
Kiss the rings bitch!
August 25th, 2011 at 1:20 PM
/points to comment 19
//calls you a faggot
August 25th, 2011 at 1:21 PM
What if Brett Favre were Black?
August 25th, 2011 at 1:21 PM
What if Tawmmy Brady was black?
His Uggs would be considered stylish.
August 25th, 2011 at 1:21 PM
What if Irene obliterated Bristol Connecticut?
I would rejoice. Fuck ESPN.
August 25th, 2011 at 1:22 PM
quincy carter.
August 25th, 2011 at 1:22 PM
Do not want to live in a world where ‘Tron isn’t the richest man alive.
August 25th, 2011 at 1:23 PM
pats fans would criticize him for not doing shit in the playoffs since 2007.
August 25th, 2011 at 1:23 PM
Patriot fans would credit Mike Vrabel for their Super Bowl wins
August 25th, 2011 at 1:23 PM
What if Tim Tebow was a Jew?
August 25th, 2011 at 1:23 PM
hot hands in the dice game. I’m talkin bout clickity clack clickity clack.
August 25th, 2011 at 1:24 PM
Peace in the Middle East.
August 25th, 2011 at 1:24 PM
That answer was valid until Durant got his business tattoos.
August 25th, 2011 at 1:24 PM
he’d be suspended for major violations…took cream cheese gifts for his free bagel.
August 25th, 2011 at 1:24 PM
I’m enjoying that they literally made him white. Powder is pissed.
August 25th, 2011 at 1:24 PM
Tiger Woods
August 25th, 2011 at 1:24 PM
What if dog was spelled C-A-T?
August 25th, 2011 at 1:25 PM
Thats pretty accurate.
August 25th, 2011 at 1:25 PM
Why are there no banks in the ghetto?
Because banks hate black people.
August 25th, 2011 at 1:26 PM
What if Tim Tebow was a Jew?
Tim Tebow has touched more penises than vaginas
/There I said it
//I suspect tebow would have been subject to an abortion as his mother would have sensibly saved her life instead of the evangelic risk she took
August 25th, 2011 at 1:27 PM
If Vick was white wouldn’t technically he be Tim Tebow-a 3rd string QB who can’t pass but can be as fast as a white QB can be?
August 25th, 2011 at 1:28 PM
Aaaaaaaaaand the image is gone:
http://espn.go.com/espn/commentary/story/_/id/6894586/imagining-michael-vick-white-quarterback-nfl-espn-magazine
August 25th, 2011 at 1:29 PM
Tawmmy from Quincee would be screaming about that dahkie not winning in 7 years and wondering why he’s married to a white woman
August 25th, 2011 at 1:30 PM
What if my Aunt had Balls?
She’d be my Uncle.
August 25th, 2011 at 1:30 PM
Holy shit, the comments on the ESPN article are amazing.
August 25th, 2011 at 1:30 PM
What if Tim Tebow was a Jew?
Heyyyy so was JC.
/Kev’d
August 25th, 2011 at 1:30 PM
Terry Bradshaw still couldn’t spell it.
August 25th, 2011 at 1:31 PM
The image will live on!
/heads to gravatar.com
August 25th, 2011 at 1:32 PM
I wonder how many are caught in the filter for racial epithets.
August 25th, 2011 at 1:32 PM
I think only CJ should be allowed to do that since this form of Mike Vick is the only one she would find likable.
August 25th, 2011 at 1:33 PM
Truck driver….I ain’t no truck driver. I just bought this truck straight cash. Now me and my family have enough cigarettes for the rest of our lives!
August 25th, 2011 at 1:35 PM
Love how they changed the subhead and caption too:
http://twitpic.com/6b2lbj/full
August 25th, 2011 at 1:37 PM
That Michael Vick picture above looks like its the head of CT from Real World
August 25th, 2011 at 1:37 PM
Hey Mike Vick… if you were a hot dog, wouldja eat yourself? I know I would!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mi-5vKqWc_I
August 25th, 2011 at 1:38 PM
I’ve been transfixed by White Vick’s blue eyes for the past 30 minutes or so but I snapped out of it long enough to realize this is the correct answer: He would have gone to UVA
August 25th, 2011 at 1:39 PM
What if Tony Romo were white?
August 25th, 2011 at 1:40 PM
it’s almost in the Beiber-Palin or Ake and Janne category of sheer visual discomfort.
August 25th, 2011 at 1:40 PM
What if Derek Jeter were white?
August 25th, 2011 at 1:41 PM
Nice job, D’Arcy Hyde. You’re a shoo-in to win the Most Racist Picture of the Year award.
August 25th, 2011 at 1:42 PM
Time to have a new racial draft.
August 25th, 2011 at 1:42 PM
Better question . . . what if Derek Jeter were black?
August 25th, 2011 at 1:42 PM
What if Kate Upton were black?
August 25th, 2011 at 1:42 PM
what if pancakes were called waffles?
August 25th, 2011 at 1:42 PM
Black men would lose their interest.
August 25th, 2011 at 1:42 PM
what if Derek Jeter didn’t have Herpes?
August 25th, 2011 at 1:43 PM
ALL THE SYRUP IS TRAPPED!
August 25th, 2011 at 1:43 PM
Hernia could quit buying concealer
August 25th, 2011 at 1:46 PM
i draft for russia. we make selection after i talk to prohkorov. “da? da. nyet. da. da. da. nyet. nyet. da.”
with first selection of draft, soviet union select alexander ovechkin. what you mean i no understand how draft work? i get. see? if i no understand, why would i take great russian to lead team over capitalist monster?
August 25th, 2011 at 1:53 PM
Since when did Paul Wall start playing for the Eagles?
August 25th, 2011 at 2:00 PM
Michael Vick looks terrible white.
August 25th, 2011 at 2:02 PM
This picture is really freaking me the fuck out. But I cant. look. away.
August 25th, 2011 at 2:06 PM
Looks like Mark Schlereth of THE. NATIONAL. FOOTBALL. LEAGUE.
August 25th, 2011 at 2:21 PM
Yeah, but they wouldn’t be blaming his lack of Super Bowls on his lack of wide receivers, or his 381 offensive coordinators.
And they wouldn’t say that he can’t stay healthy an entire season because he’s a WARRIOR.
August 25th, 2011 at 2:38 PM
What if Michael Vick Were White?
TBL wouldn’t have said Vick was better than Drew Brees a couple years ago.
August 25th, 2011 at 2:40 PM
So Alex Smith & Brett Favre aren’t white anymore? Shocking.
August 25th, 2011 at 2:52 PM
He’d be Cesar Millan
August 25th, 2011 at 3:09 PM
So, based on that picture, white Mike Vick = Kevin Federline?
August 25th, 2011 at 5:56 PM
What if Obama was White? There would be no Tea Party.
August 25th, 2011 at 11:21 PM
“What if Peyton was fightin’ dogs instead of Mike Vick”, JadaKiss
August 26th, 2011 at 5:02 AM
If Mike Vick were white he’d be Rick Astley.