Maryland Trying to Become Under Armour’s Oregon
College football is predicated on aesthetics. You root for laundry. A large part of the appeal is that laundry being simple and timeless. Nike flacks arrive in Happy Valley with a new plan to jazz up Penn State’s uniforms or prepare them for combat. Joe Paterno responds with a polite “no thank you.” The most indelible brands are those that, as much as possible, withstand the apparel deluge. Some programs don’t grasp this and the results are ghastly.
Maryland has the perfect storm. The Terps have a new football coach, an athletic director of recent vintage, a need to revitalize the program and delusions of expansion. They also have a prominent alumnus, desperate to flex his beneficence by turning Maryland into Under Armour’s Oregon. They will be protecting the house next season and will have a potential 32 ways to look completely bizarre while doing so. Even the photo gallery has about 20 different viewing options.
Three prominently featured colors in addition to white. Multiple helmets, including a tortoise shell and a matte black one, with a warped caution flag running down the middle. Multi-colored numbers. Subtle and not so subtle accents. Gawdy, awkward and wacky. Maryland could not have better encapsulated Randy Edsall football.
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120 Responses to “Maryland Trying to Become Under Armour’s Oregon”
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August 23rd, 2011 at 11:42 AM
Good idea. They had shit uniforms anyway.
August 23rd, 2011 at 11:42 AM
Those unis get progressivley worse
August 23rd, 2011 at 11:44 AM
I like the black helmet. Just wish it wasn’t attached to a Big Bird costume. The bottom left full combo looks the best. From a distance, you won’t even be able to see the turtle shell imprints enough to like/hate them.
August 23rd, 2011 at 11:44 AM
the title is backwards. UA wants this more than MD, not to say MD doesn’t want it.
August 23rd, 2011 at 11:44 AM
They will be protecting the house next season
Not against Va Tech though. The Hokies will eat the stuff on their fridge, drink all their beer, grope their girl and burn their house down.
August 23rd, 2011 at 11:45 AM
They also have a prominent alumnus,
Norman Chad?
August 23rd, 2011 at 11:47 AM
Will the school make money from these via sales?
Because schools lose money on football and other sports (or make too much, depending on the narrative).
August 23rd, 2011 at 11:47 AM
The real question is — can you access these on NCAA 2012? Also, with CFB unis — the simpler the better. All of the classic unis are the best: PSU, OSU, LSU, USC, Texas. The new waves ones are sometimes cool — sometimes they are ridiculous.
August 23rd, 2011 at 11:49 AM
ugh yellow.
August 23rd, 2011 at 11:50 AM
Yes this. I was extremely upset when ASU changed theirs, even though a couple of the new ones are cool I still prefer the classics.
August 23rd, 2011 at 11:51 AM
i laughed. hard.
August 23rd, 2011 at 11:51 AM
You know a few days back when I was saying UMD should rock some all mustard yellow away unis, I wasn’t expecting them to do it. I like the helmets though. The yellow stripe makes me think of X-wing pilot helmets for some reason.
August 23rd, 2011 at 11:51 AM
Sometimes yellow is good…
August 23rd, 2011 at 11:51 AM
Lets see if he starts running coaches and athletic directors out of town, cutting off funds to the athletic programs where he doesn’t like how they’re being run (even if they’re successful) and trying to call the shots on the field.
August 23rd, 2011 at 11:52 AM
They also have a prominent alumnus,
didn’t the dude who started UA go to maryland?
August 23rd, 2011 at 11:53 AM
didn’t the dude who started UA go to maryland?
Nobody clicks the links.
August 23rd, 2011 at 11:54 AM
I think that’s an homage to Maryland’s stupid flag.
August 23rd, 2011 at 11:54 AM
I remember this.
The uniform is part of the deal at Penn State. We’ll put your swoosh on the jersey, Phil Knight, but keep your hippy freak designers away from the rest of it.
August 23rd, 2011 at 11:55 AM
didn’t the dude who started UA go to maryland?
didn’t any of you click the link?
and yes.
August 23rd, 2011 at 11:55 AM
“You dipshits are doing it wrong”
/ Fritz Crisler
August 23rd, 2011 at 11:56 AM
I think that’s an homage to Maryland’s stupid flag.
it’s better than mexico’s.
August 23rd, 2011 at 11:57 AM
Black and gold are always good. It’s about the only way yellow looks good.
/Steelers fan’d
August 23rd, 2011 at 11:58 AM
I think that’s an homage to Maryland’s stupid flag.
On a state flag – cool.
On a football uniform, not so much.
August 23rd, 2011 at 11:58 AM
PSU and Texas unis are very overrated. The white on white look is an abomination.
August 23rd, 2011 at 11:59 AM
/Iowa fan’d?
Didn’t Hayden Fry lift that color scheme from the Stillers?
August 23rd, 2011 at 11:59 AM
Those are fucking hideous. Never change the Penn States and Alabamas of the world. They look identical to those abortions ASU flushed out.
August 23rd, 2011 at 11:59 AM
Powder Blue is always an awesome color on a uniform.
August 23rd, 2011 at 12:01 PM
gtfo, Both are in the top 5 for sure. The Texas burnt orange is the areolas.
August 23rd, 2011 at 12:01 PM
Webber beats Shaq by 18 votes!
51-49!
http://thebiglead.com/index.php/2011/08/22/culture-tournament-2011-will-shaq-do-a-better-job-on-tnt-than-chris-webber/
August 23rd, 2011 at 12:01 PM
Iowa stole the whole uni look from the Steelers.
August 23rd, 2011 at 12:02 PM
This is for NDub.
August 23rd, 2011 at 12:03 PM
XFL fan.
August 23rd, 2011 at 12:03 PM
Seriously? UConn played pretty basic, normal football. One hell of a stretch with that comment. But hey it wraps up the post ok sooo might as well put it in there right?
August 23rd, 2011 at 12:03 PM
PSU and Texas unis are very overrated.
I do agree that the white on white is bad — though the Blue/Orange on white make up for it. As an OSU alum this is blasphemy, but Michigan’s unis are fantastic as well.
August 23rd, 2011 at 12:04 PM
I swear to God, dudes care more about uniforms than chick sports fans do. Its just a stupid outfit.
August 23rd, 2011 at 12:04 PM
quote fail
August 23rd, 2011 at 12:04 PM
So they chose
Randy Edsall + new uniforms
over
Mike Leach + “Air Terp”
Morons.
August 23rd, 2011 at 12:04 PM
I swear to God, dudes care more about uniforms than chick sports fans do. Its just a stupid outfit.
You look good you feel good — you feel good you play good.
August 23rd, 2011 at 12:06 PM
Just because they didn’t steal them from Princeton doesnt mean they’re not great.
August 23rd, 2011 at 12:07 PM
Colors have always been black and gold. Current Hawkeye uniforms are a modified Steeler uniform. The one in the picture is our throwback from the 40s. It’s a helmet like Bama’s with the numbers on them and then the yellow pants with the black jersey.
Hayden Fry’s name will never be besmirched lest you want a pipebomb in your mailbox*. The man is a legend. His mustache and aviators, also, legend.
* – made with environmentally clean ethanol produced from Iowa Corn.
August 23rd, 2011 at 12:07 PM
These are the best uniforms of the last 30 years.
August 23rd, 2011 at 12:08 PM
The Red Sox Sunday reds are terrible. And the Patriots need to get rid of the retarded swoosh and go back to Pat. Thankfully, y’all haven’t messed with the Bruins or the Celtics.
August 23rd, 2011 at 12:09 PM
I hate to stick up for Tiger fans since I hope they all go DIAF. But only like 40% of em love Inge the rest hate him with a passion.
August 23rd, 2011 at 12:09 PM
Hopefully they’ll have at least one helmet that resembles a soup bowl.
August 23rd, 2011 at 12:09 PM
And that shirt that Gossling wore trying to break up that fight was the gayest thing I’ve seen in weeks. Almost gayer than me saying I would prefer to see him with it off.
/something that was in the round up or something
August 23rd, 2011 at 12:09 PM
Not the Braves’ reds. They are awesome.
August 23rd, 2011 at 12:10 PM
I was pissed last week when I tried to order a personalized Nike PSU jersey from Eastbay. I wanted #98 (the year I graduated), but the assholes would not let me order the jersey without putting a name on the back of the jersey.
I even asked for all “spaces”, but that wouldn’t fly. As best I can tell, there is absolutely no way (online) that I can order the jersey I want without having to put something on the back of it.
August 23rd, 2011 at 12:10 PM
sorry to disappoint, but there will not be a post on ND naming Dayne Crist the starting QB.
August 23rd, 2011 at 12:10 PM
In actually interesting news, the oven crisp chicken sandwich from Subway is delish.
August 23rd, 2011 at 12:10 PM
Completely fine with Plank turning UMD into Under Armour’s Oregon. Under Armour is starting to help Maryland big time in recruiting both football and basketball players.
August 23rd, 2011 at 12:11 PM
Roethlishotdog, that seems stupid as hell. Can you call them?
August 23rd, 2011 at 12:11 PM
I like the Uniforms..The gold is a little much but the all black and the red are solid.
Change it all..Bring in the new..out with old..
August 23rd, 2011 at 12:12 PM
I really don’t see a problem with the unis. I wouldn’t have picked them, but if the players like it I’m fine with it.
August 23rd, 2011 at 12:13 PM
i had Wendy’s sunday and got a tummy ache. Done with Wendy’s for the rest of the year
August 23rd, 2011 at 12:13 PM
i really hope they find a way to wear all combos throughout the season.
in game costume changes would be fantastic, but only if optimized for 3D, like Oregon.
August 23rd, 2011 at 12:13 PM
In actually interesting news, the oven crisp chicken sandwich from Subway is delish.
Grilled chicken breast marinated in balsamic vinaigrette and habanero sauce for me.
August 23rd, 2011 at 12:13 PM
I swear to God, dudes care more about uniforms than chick sports fans do. Its just a stupid outfit.
If you’re color blind, then yes it is. Otherwise, it matters a good deal. Otherwise why have team colors and uniforms and mascots.
August 23rd, 2011 at 12:13 PM
Nope. Same with the Rangers. Stick to white. Especially since your logo is red. They all look like Fire-Flower Mario walking around.
August 23rd, 2011 at 12:14 PM
Oh this is absolutely true. Not a good look guys, unless you play for the other team.
August 23rd, 2011 at 12:14 PM
I thought you had to lay off the spicy food?
August 23rd, 2011 at 12:15 PM
had 5 guys sunday, too much hype for such a mediocre burger.
no ache in my tummy tum, though.
August 23rd, 2011 at 12:15 PM
I have yet to have Wendy’s since coming home. Not sure how this is possible but apparently it is.
August 23rd, 2011 at 12:15 PM
I thought you had to lay off the spicy food?
Salty. Both of these were low sodium.
August 23rd, 2011 at 12:16 PM
PSU’s are way too generic looking for me. They look like practice unis. There’s is a middle ground between PSU and Oregon where most of CFB lives.
I also dont like the all-white look, but i love Texas’ burnt orange home unis.
Some schools are hamstrung by having just awful school colors (VaTech and Clemson come to mind). Unlike pro teams you cant really change the colors.
August 23rd, 2011 at 12:16 PM
The Phillies day alternate uniforms are beyond awesome. Oh and I love the simplicity of Penn State and Alabama. Also think the USC Cardinal Red unis are badass.
August 23rd, 2011 at 12:16 PM
You’re getting old. Can’t eat the fast food anymore. I can’t eat fast food or drink more than a six pack anymore with out my body revolting anymore.
August 23rd, 2011 at 12:17 PM
Whatever you say, Mr. Project Runway.
August 23rd, 2011 at 12:17 PM
Wendy’s new fries are turrible.
August 23rd, 2011 at 12:18 PM
If I DIAF, then your blog contingent of Lions and Pistons fans vastly shrinks.
Who’s your CFB team?
August 23rd, 2011 at 12:18 PM
Wendy’s is the only fast food burger place close to my apartment. Oddly enough, I haven’t had anything but a frosty from there is like 18 months.
I used to rock the spicy chicken sammich a lot. Or their nuggets. Call me crazy, but I like the unhealthy nuggets from McDonalds better now.
August 23rd, 2011 at 12:19 PM
it hurts me for days to do either one.
had a bunch of fast food in january for a road trip with the guys, felt horrible for a week afterward. that’s what i get for mcdonalds, kfc and burger king of the course of 2 days.
August 23rd, 2011 at 12:19 PM
Maroon and orange is a horrible color combination.
August 23rd, 2011 at 12:20 PM
I substitute the fries for the baked potato.
You’re apeshit crazy.
August 23rd, 2011 at 12:20 PM
PSU is classic and it is nice IMO. MD had ugly ass unis to start with, but this is bad. Get rid of the “Terps” on the helmet and go from there.
August 23rd, 2011 at 12:20 PM
Will Duffy face a suspension for encroaching on Janoff’s “sports-business” beat?
You know, because the other writers all write about sports which aren’t businesses.
August 23rd, 2011 at 12:21 PM
Is this the new bros icing bros?
August 23rd, 2011 at 12:21 PM
The only thing i can thank Wendy’s for is by teaching me how to speed shit when I worked at a busy drive thru by myself in college on a busy Friday night. Wendy’s will teach you how to shit with speed.
August 23rd, 2011 at 12:21 PM
Check out the ‘personalization’ that they let you do if you want a Florida jersey:
“due to university regulations, Florida jerseys are only available in numbers 1, 06 and 96″
August 23rd, 2011 at 12:21 PM
I did, and the guy on the phone even understood – saying “Why would you want a name – PSU never uses them”. But, he couldn’t override the ordering system they use. So, no jersey for me.
August 23rd, 2011 at 12:21 PM
I could have told you that…..
August 23rd, 2011 at 12:21 PM
Wendy’s fries are great but I no longer eat french fries. It’s a horrible way to live, FYI.
Junior bacon cheeseburger FTW though. Always.
August 23rd, 2011 at 12:21 PM
SC – The maker of those videos can jump off a bridge.
August 23rd, 2011 at 12:22 PM
Chick-fil-A nuggest > every other nugget
And we can all agree that Burger King’s nuggest are awful.
August 23rd, 2011 at 12:23 PM
SC, and thank you for introducing me to TheChive. As If I had a reason to get less shit done during some days.
August 23rd, 2011 at 12:23 PM
Meh. Seems like a lot of work just to jump in a fucking pool. People are stupid.
August 23rd, 2011 at 12:23 PM
“Oops the picture didn’t take. Everyone try it again only with soaking clothes and hair”
August 23rd, 2011 at 12:24 PM
Had the Turkey Bacon Guacamole from Quiznos last night. MMMMMmmmm Tasty.
August 23rd, 2011 at 12:24 PM
Oh come on, man. Some of those are hilarious. The website is notsopuremichigan.com. It’s great. Especially the Monsoon one.
August 23rd, 2011 at 12:24 PM
Bob Stoops does not approve.
August 23rd, 2011 at 12:24 PM
Will Duffy face a suspension for encroaching on Janoff’s “sports-business” beat?
No, Duffy wrote way too many of his own words to encroach on Barry’s territory. And since when has one post on a subject been enough? Janoff will be up next with something about New Coke being re-released in time for football season and Maryland players are drinking it up! Then in a few weeks, Eifling will come out with a post quoting this entire post. It’s the circle of life
August 23rd, 2011 at 12:24 PM
Ha!
August 23rd, 2011 at 12:26 PM
You’re welcome, PLSK. It’s properly advertised. The Greatest Site in the World. I’m so pissed that I missed theCHIVE meet up in Chicago. The naked guitar chick from Jersey was there. She’s on the Twitters though.
August 23rd, 2011 at 12:27 PM
I’m shocked they named him the starter!
/not really
August 23rd, 2011 at 12:27 PM
Best School Home Unis:
1. Florida ST (Sucker for the Garnet and Gold)
2. Texas
3. Ohio St
4. LSU (Purple)
5. PSU
August 23rd, 2011 at 12:29 PM
I made a burger on the grill last night with bacon and guacamole.
Bacon and guacamole are a tough combo to beat.
August 23rd, 2011 at 12:29 PM
1. Florida ST (Sucker for the Garnet and Gold)
Only with the gold pants. The Garnet & Garnet look is terrible. Doesn’t LSU wear white at home usually?
August 23rd, 2011 at 12:32 PM
Almost always. They almost never wear the purple, which is why it looks very cool. Not a big fan of their helmets, though…
August 23rd, 2011 at 12:33 PM
we are all doomed.
August 23rd, 2011 at 12:33 PM
The correct answer was Michigan.
August 23rd, 2011 at 12:33 PM
Agree, but try this. Turkeys, bacon, swiss chesse, with honesy mustard on a pretzel roll. I hate swiss cheese but when it’s melted with the deliciousness of the other 3 items, it is quite the combination. You will not be disappointed.
August 23rd, 2011 at 12:33 PM
The Garnet & Garnet look is terrible. Doesn’t LSU wear white at home usually?
Agreed.
That’s why I put the (Purple) in there
August 23rd, 2011 at 12:33 PM
Arkansas could have such sweet uni’s and yet choose to bullshit them up year after year.
August 23rd, 2011 at 12:34 PM
The correct answer was Michigan.
Not since they went Adidas. They just look different now and they got rid of the stickers!
August 23rd, 2011 at 12:34 PM
I’ve never wanted to have the uncanny ability to be able to drain a pool at any given second.
August 23rd, 2011 at 12:35 PM
When the University of Miami had a football program, I enjoyed the old orange jerseys with white pants from the 80s and 90s
August 23rd, 2011 at 12:36 PM
Since there’s food in here, I figured I’d drop that little guy in there. Take off the feta cheese and I’m all over that.
August 23rd, 2011 at 12:37 PM
Wisconsin uniforms are sharp… never been a fan of the oversized motion W on the helmet though.
August 23rd, 2011 at 12:37 PM
Seconded.
August 23rd, 2011 at 12:39 PM
agreed. although I like the running W over the block W.
August 23rd, 2011 at 12:44 PM
In my top 5.
PSU, Alabama, USC, Michigan, Ohio State
August 23rd, 2011 at 12:46 PM
My list exactly, but sub Texas for USC.
August 23rd, 2011 at 12:46 PM
agreed. although I like the running W over the block W.
Was flipping through the channels and BTN had an old Wisconsin game on. Wow did they have bad uniforms
August 23rd, 2011 at 12:46 PM
Notre Dame’s are like poetry.
August 23rd, 2011 at 12:46 PM
More rich white guys corporatizing the game of college football, while the athletes doning the uni’s get nothing. Get mad at the kids for taking gifts of $1,000 or a dinner or ride on a yacht, but stay blind to the fact that this is big business and the rich get richer.
August 23rd, 2011 at 12:47 PM
Notre Dame’s are like poetry
I hate it when ND and Navy play. You have to really pay attention to figure out who is who.
August 23rd, 2011 at 12:48 PM
Both are going to make us all want to puke on 9/10.
August 23rd, 2011 at 12:49 PM
Truth. Fuck ‘em both.
August 23rd, 2011 at 12:52 PM
I hate it when ND and Navy play. You have to really pay attention to figure out who is who.
The good players are Navy
August 23rd, 2011 at 1:26 PM
Arkansas and Michigan State share the award for “most pointless uniform changes year after year.”
August 23rd, 2011 at 5:52 PM
“Arkansas and Michigan State share the award for “most pointless uniform changes year after year.”
Check out Mountain West unis each year. Unis change, but Colorado State still plays like Colorado State. Same goes for New Mexico and Wyoming.