August 1st was the 30th birthday of MTV. That’s pretty freaking momentous. I mean, I’m not even 30 and I’m wicked old. People love MTV and they love round numbers. If you do some quick math, you realize that since 1981, MTV has been bringing music fans the best in music videos non-stop until about 15-20 years ago when they pretty much dropped the whole “music” thing. Just think about that for a second.

Luckily, they also launched VH1 which played music videos for adults until they stopped playing music videos about 5 years ago. Of course, you can still see music videos twenty-four hours a day on MTV2 until… well, about 5  years ago when they stopped showing videos. Hey, if you have a decent cable package and the patience to check somewhere between the Playboy OnDemand and Showtime channels, you can watch music videos on VH1 Classic.

I’m getting lost here… The point is… MTV has stuck around despite losing track of what the M stands for? All I know is that I’ve watched a lot of MTV over the years. It’s sad, but true. So here are 30 (get it? That’s how old the channel is!) things from MTV’s first 30 years that stand out to me.

The Grind
Ladies and gentlemen, The Grind was MTV in the 90′s. Notice how they were already moving to clips of music videos.

Rock N Jock
Why is there not a channel that plays nothing but old Rock N Jock games 24/7? You can’t watch a blowout someone referencing lowering the 50-point basket. It was just good solid entertainment.

TRL
This is the only thing on the entire list that has absolutely anything to do with actual showing of music videos. There was a time when Total Request Live was kind of a big deal. It was a destination for the biggest artists and celebrities and it was the final attempt for MTV to actually show music videos. Eminem, Backstreet Boys and Blink 182 owned TRL and it made Carson Daly a star. Really, it was a weird time and place. Of course, TRL never played all the videos in the countdown in their entirety. If I remember correctly, teenagers were voting on which videos they wanted to see 30-45 second clips of while teenagers in Times Sqaure screamed over the top of the actual audio. It was a really weird time and place.

Jesse Camp
Remember this jagoff? The YouTube description calls him a “human toilet.” That’s how you know he touched lives.

Video Music Awards
The fact that they stick with the VMAs despite no longer showing videos always makes me chuckle.  The VMAs were supposed to be some sort of edgy music awards show, but today this should really be the YouTube Awards because that is the only place people watch music videos these days.

Is She Really Going Out With Him?
While MTV does a lot to promote douchebags, sometimes you wonder if they’re doing it more as a public service announcement than out of genuine appreciation. This was never more apparent than in Is She Really Going Out With Him?, the one show that didn’t even pretend to take these dickheads seriously.

Get More: MTV Shows

Jersey Shore
Yes, the product has become just a little saturated, but damnit if these people haven’t changed the world. I’m not saying they changed it for the better, but when I’m in an SUV with 7 friends driving to dinner, Enrique Iglesias comes on and we all instinctively fist pump for 4 straight minutes… It’s completely stupid, but this is what we’ve shared as a culture for the last two years. Sad, but true.

Daria
I loved this show. It’s one of the few shows I watched on MTV that I loved because it was genuinely good. I was never watching ironically or because it was so bad it was enjoyable to make fun of. It was just solid.

True Life: I Have A Summer Share
True Life has been a decent documentary series that has given people a peek inside numerous worlds that you would otherwise have no idea existed. I Have A Summer Share was a game-changer. This was our first look at the Oceanside nightlife of New Jersey. It’s strange, but Jersey Shore doesn’t happen without Tommy Cheeseballs, one of the greatest caricatures in the history of reality television.

Laguna Beach: The Real Orange County
Another group of celebrities that MTV created by making them look famous. Are any of the thousand spinoffs still around? No clue, but somehow a LC or Kristin debate is still relevant.

Tom Green
He invented planking and we didn’t even know it. It’s amazing how MTV will make you like someone and then immediately over saturate them in record time. The man married Drew Barrymore on Saturday Night Live. He had a hit music video.

Next
As far as throw-away dating shows go, Next was kind of amusing because there was the possibility for so much rejection. Also, the strange dynamic of the people sitting on the Next bus ranged from awkward to weird to stupid. There was plenty to hate.

Real World
The show that started reality television as we know it. The Real World already sucked by the time I was old enough to watch it. The one season I actually enjoyed was San Diego. Since then I watch the first few episodes, talk about how much I hate every single person and eventually wander away from the television only to come back a month later and find out that certain people are still alive. It’s a vicious and depressing cycle.

MTV Unplugged
The best of Unplugged would be worthy of its own post. RIP half the people who appeared on the series.

The Ashlee Simpson Show
I hated Ashlee Simpson before it was cool.

RW/RR Challenge
If you love drunks taking things way too seriously when they’re hungover in the afternoon, then the Challenge is great. The fact that these people make a living off their personalities and pre [Update: At this point in the creative process my brain must have shut down. Probably a defense mechanism.]

Adventures In Hollyhood
MTV had so many shows that you completely forgot about. Watching Juicy J, DJ Paul, Computer and Big Triece was unlike anything I have ever seen. No more than 10% of any episode was in English.

Bromance
When I first heard about this show, I hated it. When I watched it, I genuinely enjoyed it. Brody Jenner and the show didn’t take themselves seriously like that idiot Paris Hilton did on her friend-finding show. The eventually winner was the rare Masshole with a heart of gold.

Loveline
Our introduction to Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

Date My Mom
Really, the ultimate litmus test of a young woman’s future self is her mother. Sure how good someone will look when they’re 40 doesn’t really matter that much if you date someone for a couple months in your 20′s, but at the point where marriage becomes a possibility, a girl with a hot mom will probably get a little more consideration. My only complaint about this show is that MTV never took the logical next step – Date My Dad – where a hot young coed has to go on three trips to a bowling alley with three awkward dads.

Singled Out
Was Singled Out the greatest dating show of all-time? How did MTV walk away from this show? Why is Chris Hardwick no the biggest star in the world right now? By the way, this post would have been up hours ago, but I got lost watching old Singled Out episodes on YouTube.

Yo Momma!
Let’s talk about Yo Momma! for what it was – the greatest show in television history. For many of us, it was the first time we saw Wilmer Valderrama speak without the Fez accent. For others, it was just a peek inside some sort of weird, made-up culture where strangers say unfunny things while other unfunny people stand around and yell and laugh like something funny is happening. Like any important television show, it introduced new slang into my life like, “Let’s bully!” and “Cash-money.” Wow this show was dumb.

Teen Cribs
Cribs was interesting for a few episodes. Teen Cribs was insufferable. Seeing 12-year-olds with nicer cars than me is very frustrating.

Teen Mom
Maybe I shouldn’t be watching MTV anymore. It’s certainly no aimed at me. Teenagers are stupid.

MTV Movie Awards
The Movie Awards are like the Kid’s Choice Awards except at least you know what you’re getting on Nickelodeon. On the movie awards they call movies like Twilight the best of the year and still give Jim Carry awards like he’s done anything funny since they stopped showing music videos.

Human Giant
What’s the hardest part about rollerblading? The first two seasons of Human Giant were pretty epic. Remember when they did the 24 hours of Human Giant? I think that was the last time they did anything remotely different.

Jackass
It’s kind of impressive how this show about jackasses hurting themselves and grossing each other out turned into such an influential franchise. There were multiple spinoffs and an incredible amount of box office success with the movies.

The State
This show was actually really funny and important.

Beavis and Butthead
I never watched Beavis and Butthead when I was a kid, but I’m well aware of their societal impact.  If I didn’t mention this, you’d kill me.

Whatever is on MTV right now
It doesn’t matter. I’ll watch it because it’s on TV. That’s basically MTV’s credo.