Zoomer Wins World Snail Racing Championships
The World Snail Racing Championship took place in England on Sunday and it seems that the event got lost in all the news coverage of the World Cup and British Open. Better late than never. The winning snail was Zoomer, a small snail of indeterminate sex, age and religious beliefs. Zoomer was the first ever Snail Racing Championship entry by, 6 year old trainer, Anton Lucas. Via the Telegraph:
The rules are simple. Each competitor brings their own snails. Each is marked with a number – for, as the organisers admit, “One garden snail looks very much like another.”
If you were wondering how big the track is…
The racing track is marked with two concentric circles. Snails are placed along the inner circle, and the winner is the first to reach the outer circle. The distance is 13 inches if a snail travels in a straight line. Some do, some don’t. The course record is two minutes, set a decade ago by a snail called Archie.
And really, is this any more dumb than horse racing?
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July 20th, 2011 at 2:13 PM
Great post. This should go with Ol-chimp-ics in the Pantheon of Hall of Fame of posts.
July 20th, 2011 at 2:13 PM
Now I know why you’re asking for someone to get arrested, CRM.
July 20th, 2011 at 2:14 PM
This?
http://cousinsofronmexico.blogspot.com/2008/08/2008-bejing-ol-chimp-ics.html
July 20th, 2011 at 2:14 PM
Speaking of animals.. has this picture been discussed yet?! Don’t mess with leopards.
!!!
July 20th, 2011 at 2:16 PM
These slow days of summer get the best of all of us, CRM.
July 20th, 2011 at 2:16 PM
more leopard pics.
July 20th, 2011 at 2:18 PM
I watched the show growing up leopard on the Animal Planet a couple weeks back…..what a bunch of little shitheads, but the cutest little shitheads around. Growing up black bear was incredible, how anyone would want one of those as a pet is beyond me.
July 20th, 2011 at 2:18 PM
That is one sexy ass snail.
July 20th, 2011 at 2:19 PM
That is one sexy ass snail.
She does have a great ass.
July 20th, 2011 at 2:20 PM
World Snail Racing Championships! Sponsored by Morton Salt!
July 20th, 2011 at 2:22 PM
this is why.
July 20th, 2011 at 2:22 PM
Her antennae sure are perky.
July 20th, 2011 at 2:23 PM
Spencer: I just purchased these.. They’re previously owned and you really couldn’t even tell when i demo’d them. I couldn’t turn down the deal i got for them. Steel shaft, not graphite as well.
July 20th, 2011 at 2:23 PM
Wow, the doldrums of summer have gotten to CRM.
July 20th, 2011 at 2:24 PM
Spencer, your golf balls just shipped. Should be there by Monday.
July 20th, 2011 at 2:24 PM
stabbin…cool. a buddy has the x-20′s and loves em…gotta figure the x22′s would be an improvement. get em out on the course yet?
July 20th, 2011 at 2:25 PM
/dougies
July 20th, 2011 at 2:26 PM
I have the x-20′s, love them, so much.
July 20th, 2011 at 2:26 PM
FAKE!
July 20th, 2011 at 2:27 PM
yea man. 18 on Friday, 27 on Monday, and will obviously be using them in league play tonight. Just bought em an hour ago. They’re pretty tits.
July 20th, 2011 at 2:27 PM
But how does she compare to the Ambulance?
July 20th, 2011 at 2:28 PM
Send me something to write about please. I have 2 more animal posts in the drafts right now.
July 20th, 2011 at 2:28 PM
That leopard shit is crazy.
July 20th, 2011 at 2:29 PM
But how does she compare to the Ambulance?
She’s got a nicer body than Hope and Alex, that’s for sure.
July 20th, 2011 at 2:29 PM
aw yea…im jealous dude. i want a whole new bag.
July 20th, 2011 at 2:29 PM
I think I found a new desktop background, that is tremendous.
July 20th, 2011 at 2:30 PM
It’s too bad the leopard died.
July 20th, 2011 at 2:30 PM
I think I found a new desktop background, that is tremendous.
If I were the dude in that picture, I think I’d simultaneously piss and shit my pants, whilst vomiting and then passing out.
July 20th, 2011 at 2:31 PM
CRM is killing it with the obscure sports posts as of late
July 20th, 2011 at 2:32 PM
CRM: This could bring along some interesting commentary.
July 20th, 2011 at 2:33 PM
Bud Light gives you the absolute worst beer farts the day after.
/wafts in the direction of other commenters
July 20th, 2011 at 2:33 PM
Look at the cankles on that one. Minka’s finally off the hook.
July 20th, 2011 at 2:34 PM
fuck those mother fuckers in india that batoned and stabbed the shit out of that poor leopard. it’s a wild animal, do you expect it to not fuck up your shit if you invade its territory?
July 20th, 2011 at 2:35 PM
This is why that Rise of the Planet of the Apes movie will suck. Apes no matter how smart and intelligent they are…are not bulletproof.
July 20th, 2011 at 2:35 PM
I only saw the photos, but it sure doesn’t look like they know what they are doing.
July 20th, 2011 at 2:36 PM
Whoever dressed the snail should be taken out into the street and shot.
July 20th, 2011 at 2:36 PM
OH MY GOD END THE FUCKING LOCKOUT TOMORROW PLEASE. TOMMY WANT WINGY.
July 20th, 2011 at 2:37 PM
This is why that Rise of the Planet of the Apes movie will suck. Apes no matter how smart and intelligent they are…are not bulletproof
Yep. It might almost be worth paying the $10 to see what level of ridiculous heights the movie goes to trying to explain how apes can defeat the entire United States military. Probably not though.
July 20th, 2011 at 2:37 PM
Tiger and Steve broke up, that could be a post.
July 20th, 2011 at 2:38 PM
Tiger and Steve broke up
Dibs!
/coop’d
July 20th, 2011 at 2:39 PM
not entirely shocked…figured they would once stevie started working with adam scott.
July 20th, 2011 at 2:40 PM
How about a post about others who post that there is nothing to post about right now?
I wouldn’t read it…as is tradition.
July 20th, 2011 at 2:41 PM
That’s me and Corona, we don’t have a good relationship at all.
July 20th, 2011 at 2:41 PM
Who is going to put up with all of Tiger’s shit? And when does Steve’s tell-all book come out?
July 20th, 2011 at 2:42 PM
Steve’s tell-all book come out?
No way Steve burns that bridge. Tiger made him a millionaire.
July 20th, 2011 at 2:43 PM
“It’s Not Gay If It Was a Three-Way”
July 20th, 2011 at 2:43 PM
This would be extremely stupid and selfish.
July 20th, 2011 at 2:43 PM
anyone who enjoys making money hand over fist during tiger’s revenge tour, im guessing.
July 20th, 2011 at 2:46 PM
Yup. Which is why I would do it.
July 20th, 2011 at 2:46 PM
Should we expect a Steve cameo in Party Down?
July 20th, 2011 at 2:46 PM
I’m not doing anything…
July 20th, 2011 at 2:46 PM
CRM: This could bring along some interesting commentary.
Holy Fuck, that looks like Rio Ferdinand’s doppelganger!!
July 20th, 2011 at 2:47 PM
That money Tiger made him isn’t going anywhere.
July 20th, 2011 at 2:49 PM
Again, I’m not doing anything. I’ll put up with anything Tiger says/does.
July 20th, 2011 at 2:49 PM
That’s exactly what I was thinking when I saw it.
July 20th, 2011 at 2:50 PM
You understand caddying is a revolving door and guys are looking for jobs all the fucking time. Don’t fuck with the guy who writes your checks.
July 20th, 2011 at 2:50 PM
You both deserve it for drinking that shit.
/beer snobbed
//truth’d
July 20th, 2011 at 2:51 PM
damn SC, i forgot all about e mailing you about those. you still got some left?
July 20th, 2011 at 2:51 PM
Imagine how the percentage sky rockets when you bring home Major money. Tiger took care of Stevie really nice like.
July 20th, 2011 at 2:52 PM
fuck those mother fuckers in india that batoned and stabbed the shit out of that poor leopard. it’s a wild animal, do you expect it to not fuck up your shit if you invade its territory?
From the photo caption:
“The leopard strayed into the village area and mauled several villagers, including three guards, before being caught by forest officials. The leopard, which suffered injuries caused by knives and batons, died later in the evening at a veterinary center.”
I don’t think they went into the forest and stabbed and hit the leopard.
July 20th, 2011 at 2:53 PM
I haven’t had that since high school. Nowadays it’s Sierra Nevada, Blue Moon or Samuel Adams.
July 20th, 2011 at 2:53 PM
Just DT SoLos.
July 20th, 2011 at 2:53 PM
All Wrigley serves. Harry Caray demands it.
July 20th, 2011 at 2:54 PM
seriously…you get a rep and your career caddying could be over.
July 20th, 2011 at 2:56 PM
If Stevie writes a book and it’s got the juice, I doubt he’ll ever need to caddy again.
July 20th, 2011 at 2:57 PM
Well if you have no other options it can be excused. But I hope you understand you people deserve the misery for these stupid decisions.
July 20th, 2011 at 2:57 PM
What more needs to be said, exactly?
July 20th, 2011 at 2:58 PM
Agree on the Sam Adams, but Blue Moon gives me gas that could’ve subsituted for Agent Orange.
/big fan of Flying Fish, Magic Hat, Yuengling, Victory and Sarnac
//will drink Miller Lite in this kind of heat
July 20th, 2011 at 2:59 PM
fair enough.
July 20th, 2011 at 2:59 PM
Let me put it this way. The British Open was this weekend and the golf headline I read on Sunday was “Tiger Woods attends MC Hammer Bobblehead Day in Oakland.” People will always read about Tiger Woods. We might not, but gossip sells.
July 20th, 2011 at 3:00 PM
shit man I ain’t picky.
July 20th, 2011 at 3:00 PM
No kidding. Are there 4 other porn stars Tiger porked that we really need to know about? Are there more juicy text messages that can topic the epic ones that are already made public. Let it go, no one really gives a shit, it’s all out there. I just want to see him get healthy and win majors.
July 20th, 2011 at 3:02 PM
So do I.
July 20th, 2011 at 3:03 PM
Already 4-0 for the Phils today SC – Dempster looking like Halladay out there on Monday.
July 20th, 2011 at 3:05 PM
Utley has a career .636 average against Demp. Victorino is hitting .457 off him. I knew it was going to be ugly. I’m listening to Gary Thorne call the O’s game right now.
July 20th, 2011 at 3:06 PM
Wrigley doesn’t serve Old Style anymore? what a shame.
July 20th, 2011 at 3:06 PM
Ndomakung Suh is a damn good interview.
July 20th, 2011 at 3:09 PM
I already have gas. I didn’t want to wake up with John Philip Sousa in my head. They had Heineken too. I had one of those and man was it bad. I haven’t had that stuff since HS.
It was REALLY weird watching a baseball game at the park in the comfort of air conditioning. Especially at Wrigley. Their boxes are nothing special, but yesterday it was necessary to be in one at that game with the heat.
July 20th, 2011 at 3:13 PM
Heard him on the Dan Patrick Show this morning with whoever was filling in for Dan. Gotta say I was impressed with him.