The Roundup: Mets Trade K-Rod, Must-See Photo of 17-foot Crocodile & USA vs. France in the Women’s World Cup Semifinal at Noon
Keri Hilson … prostitution is booming in San Jose … Gold set another record yesterday … Hilary Duff looks terrific in a bikini … Howard Stern’s 2011 vacation schedule is crazy … you can’t bust a sag in this Illinois town … headlines you’ll click: “Got PMS? Have a Glass of Milk, You Crazy Bitch” … restaurant bans children under six in Monroeville, Pennsylvania … oh, dear: Train + Marijuana = Severed Leg … soon, if you cut class in San Fran, it may cost you money … DMX’s stay in the clink will be extended … another Baltimore Raven got married recently … it’ll take some time, but you should read about ‘CIA John’ … he took a car on a 3-day test drive and got arrested …
This Pat Forde column on paying college football players is excellent. [ESPN]
Mila Kunis in GQ? Mila Kunis in GQ. [GQ]
The Mets traded K-Rod to the Brewers for players to be named later. [JS Online]
Kurt Rambis has been dismissed as coach of the Timberwolves. General manager David Kahn? Still unsure what’s going on. [Star Tribune]
Remember Willie Williams, the one-time hot prospect who had an NFL future? Arrested. Again. [Cincinnati.com]
Paul Brown Stadium, the Bengals, and taxpayers. Interesting read. [WSJ]
A Miami website, pissed off that Jose Canseco gave out his ex-girlfriend’s phone number, published Canseco’s. [Miami New Times]
Video of this shark encounter is awesome, but unfortunately, I can’t find it online. [Dammit]
Ray Rice took a jab at Hines Ward for his DUI on twitter. [Ravens Insider]
Here’s a photo of a 17-foot crocodile leaping out of the water. I’m going to use the ‘Alligator’ tag. Why? Because I can’t tell the difference between gators and crocs and neither can you. [Telegraph]
“Arizona Senator Allegedly Points Gun at Reporter.” Arizona is lobbying hard to get in the Ohio/Florida discussion. If you don’t know about the Ohio/Florida discussion, you better ask somebody. [Slate]
Here’s Gus Johnson synced to the ending of USA-Brazil in the women’s World Cup quarterfinals. The USA-France game today is at noon on ESPN.
- Bob Stoops: Home Was Burglarized, Had Car Stolen
- Muhammed “King Mo” Lawal’s KO of the Year Candidate Against Seth Petruzelli at Bellator 96
- Break-Up Song About Players Leaving Via Free Agency Should Make Fans Cry
- Fight Master: Bellator MMA: Freshening Up a Tired Format
- John Wall Tattoos Are of the Raleigh Skyline and ‘The Great Wall’
- PL StabbinKabin on Muhammed "King Mo" Lawal's KO of the Year Candidate Against Seth Petruzelli at Bellator 96
- PL StabbinKabin on Neymar's Silky Dribbling Schools the Mexican Defense, Sets Up Another Brazilian Goal [Video]
- VladimirCrouton on Bob Stoops: Home Was Burglarized, Had Car Stolen
- KC Resident on Break-Up Song About Players Leaving Via Free Agency Should Make Fans Cry
- A.P. on Break-Up Song About Players Leaving Via Free Agency Should Make Fans Cry
235 Responses to “The Roundup: Mets Trade K-Rod, Must-See Photo of 17-foot Crocodile & USA vs. France in the Women’s World Cup Semifinal at Noon”
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July 13th, 2011 at 8:34 AM
hilarious. fuck that dude.
July 13th, 2011 at 8:37 AM
crocs are egyptian or something
July 13th, 2011 at 8:38 AM
something about that story doesn’t seem right.
July 13th, 2011 at 8:40 AM
She looks like a tranny in that picture
July 13th, 2011 at 8:41 AM
Hilary Duff, FTW.
July 13th, 2011 at 8:42 AM
Why is Robert DeNiro roided out, flexing, and staring at me?
July 13th, 2011 at 8:43 AM
From Willie Williams burglary article:
Ha!
July 13th, 2011 at 8:45 AM
“Arizona Senator Allegedly Points Gun at Reporter.”
better outcome than “Pennsylvania official points gun in mouth, fires”
right?
July 13th, 2011 at 8:45 AM
What is that as the roundup picture? Never heard of her and I won’t be upset if I never see her again.
Mila Kunis – yes please. She is working her way into the top 5.
July 13th, 2011 at 8:46 AM
the author and the subject are both gayer than a bag of dicks.
July 13th, 2011 at 8:48 AM
texas and missouri’s in the ohio/florida/arizona discussion too.
July 13th, 2011 at 8:48 AM
Bold move using a picture of a gelfling in the Roundup today TBL.
July 13th, 2011 at 8:49 AM
Star Trek Deep Space Nine is 4th on her list of favorite star trek series? Mila Kunis is dead to me now.
July 13th, 2011 at 8:49 AM
It’d be rather unfortunate if Tyler Thornburg was on that list. Dude has a chance to be really really good.
July 13th, 2011 at 8:49 AM
another day another roundup pic fail. wtf is with her face?
July 13th, 2011 at 8:49 AM
Sigh, one of the first dominoes to signal the end of the Larry Coker era. This kid has had way too many chances in life, he should be in prison.
July 13th, 2011 at 8:50 AM
whomever that huge pitcher with the beard was who plays for the angels that was hitting 100 and threw that whippy curve is my new fav pitcher*.
*non justin masterson division
July 13th, 2011 at 8:51 AM
Dude has a chance to be really really good.
seems like a trait unique to most prospects
July 13th, 2011 at 8:51 AM
So, he’s on a channel that not everyone has AND he barely works anymore.
I feel lucky to have been able to listen to him back in his free radio days, when he mattered.
July 13th, 2011 at 8:51 AM
vez, thanks for the link to the Matt Erickson article yesterday, enjoyed it.
July 13th, 2011 at 8:53 AM
That Keri Hilson pic ranks as one of the five worst ever in the Roundup.
July 13th, 2011 at 8:53 AM
I would be shocked if he was. From all indications, this looks like a good deal for the Brewers. Apparently the clause for K-Rod is games finished and the Crew has Axford closing. Also, if K-Rod is offered arb in the offseason and rejects it, the Brewers get two 1st rounders, right? Which would replace the two minor leaguers TBNL.
July 13th, 2011 at 8:54 AM
You’re right. The Forde article does make a lot of sense.
Those schools should be best-equipped to handle a sudden spike in payroll expenses. But for hundreds of schools already struggling to balance budgets, paying athletes would seemingly lead to financial ruin. And that’s before adding in the specter of worker’s compensation to cover injuries and other potential new realities associated with turning students into employees.
It’s easy to envision schools dropping even more sports or handing out even more partial scholarships in non-revenue programs. The fewer the athletes you have to pay, the better your chances to stay out of the red.
July 13th, 2011 at 8:55 AM
I can’t even remember the last time anyone mentioned anything about Stern. He’s totally irrelevant anymore.
Brewers did well in that trade, good for them.
July 13th, 2011 at 8:56 AM
i love how espn prints this article about how nobody likes the 2011 open venue royal st. george’s and didn’t interview a single player who’s going to be teeing it up this weekend. because the guys that have played it this week seem to like it.
July 13th, 2011 at 8:56 AM
who’s the round up dude?
July 13th, 2011 at 8:56 AM
gators are something pimps, like myself, wear. Crocs are something fat people wear. Boom educated.
July 13th, 2011 at 8:56 AM
speak for yourself, dummy.
July 13th, 2011 at 8:56 AM
No more four day show weeks for the rest of the year. Boo.
July 13th, 2011 at 8:58 AM
Great analogy by Mila….it just increases her awesome factor.
July 13th, 2011 at 8:59 AM
just curious why the british press is so quick to announce europe’s golf superiority yet a brit hasn’t won the open since faldo in 1992.
/fuck the euros
July 13th, 2011 at 8:59 AM
restaurant bans children under six in Monroeville, Pennsylvania
this is already in place in plenty of high quality restaraunts. however, this case involves some shitty mom-n-pop meth hole next to a driving range.
July 13th, 2011 at 8:59 AM
They did. I was a tad jealous, to be honest.
Does Brad Lidge think he’s still coming back this year?
July 13th, 2011 at 9:00 AM
Not that hard.
July 13th, 2011 at 9:01 AM
Please, NFL.
Come back soon!
July 13th, 2011 at 9:01 AM
I’m gonna tell myself that she’s paraphrasing the Simpsons, which leads me to believe that she reads/comments on this website, which leads me to believe that I have a shot with her.
/hi Mila!
July 13th, 2011 at 9:02 AM
american or chinese aligators?
July 13th, 2011 at 9:02 AM
Apparently he’s ramping up his rehab in Reading right now. Madson should be back by the end of next week and Lidge by the end of the month.
July 13th, 2011 at 9:02 AM
Florida’s sports info dept. certainly can’t.
July 13th, 2011 at 9:02 AM
Anything that gets Milwaukee to the post season is a good thing. K-rod’s not going to be happy though when his 17.5 million dollar option won’t get realized. No wonder he switched agents to Scott Boras.
July 13th, 2011 at 9:06 AM
Great analogy by Mila….it just increases her awesome factor.
she is fine and smart, but not because of this analogy. we’ve all had freinds with benefits that have turned out fine. or, a relationship where it’s made clear ahead of time that this is about sex, no strings
how do you want it to end?
July 13th, 2011 at 9:06 AM
i love how espn prints this article about how nobody likes the 2011 open venue royal st. george’s and didn’t interview a single player who’s going to be teeing it up this weekend. because the guys that have played it this week seem to like it.
that’s dumb. it would be like saying the tour players don’t like Pebble Beach.
July 13th, 2011 at 9:07 AM
Bah! Alligstors are bigger and have a rounded snout. Crocs are smaller and have a longer, pointy snout.
/wife watches a lot of Animal Planet
That shit better be right. I didn’t look it up.
July 13th, 2011 at 9:08 AM
“My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is *not* a porn star!”
July 13th, 2011 at 9:10 AM
Seems odd that you would acquire a guy that you might use selectively. no?
July 13th, 2011 at 9:10 AM
crocs will drag you into the water and drown you before eating you. alligators will pull you into the water and drown you before eating you.
run in a zigzag pattern when they chase you if on land, and if they have a good grip on you in the water, reach down their throat and fuck with the valve that keeps water out. they’ll let go
then, don’t be an ass and let them grab you again
July 13th, 2011 at 9:10 AM
Alligators are bigger and have a rounded snout. Crocs are smaller and have a longer, pointy snout.
That shit better be right. I didn’t look it up.
it’s not right, since crocs are both smaller and bigger, depending on species. Saltwater crocodiles, like that legless one depicted, are the biggest of either in the world, or can be (obviously not right when they’re born).
July 13th, 2011 at 9:12 AM
Buncha homos in here. Keri Hilson is fine. You all know JMac picks the worst photos of women as AM Roundup pics.
July 13th, 2011 at 9:12 AM
/stands
//applauds
///high fives SC
July 13th, 2011 at 9:12 AM
I’m going to use the ‘Alligator’ tag. Why? Because I can’t tell the difference between gators and crocs and neither can you.
Are you fucking serious? You amaze me sometimes. Crocs have skinny snouts. Gators have fat ones. You east coast city kids needs some edumacation on nature.
July 13th, 2011 at 9:12 AM
Without that clause (and the desire of the Mets to make sure it doesn’t vest on their watch), they would never have been able to acquire him.
July 13th, 2011 at 9:12 AM
More restaurants need to do this.
July 13th, 2011 at 9:13 AM
crocs will drag you into the water and drown you before eating you. alligators will pull you into the water and drown you before eating you.
run in a zigzag pattern when they chase you if on land, and if they have a good grip on you in the water, reach down their throat and fuck with the valve that keeps water out. they’ll let go
then, don’t be an ass and let them grab you again
/poor man’s jmorris’d
July 13th, 2011 at 9:14 AM
Agree with other users, more places need to do this. Take the kids to Chilis or Fridays, leave the nicer places so my wife and I can have a nice dinner.
/let’s go…
July 13th, 2011 at 9:14 AM
i feel like one day i will need this information…and when i live with a few scars and maybe a lost appendage, but alive, i’ll paypal you a dollar.
July 13th, 2011 at 9:15 AM
Not at all. They already have a closer. Having him not finish 21 games will require hardly any selectivity whatsoever.
July 13th, 2011 at 9:16 AM
I hate kids.
July 13th, 2011 at 9:16 AM
that thing in the roundup pic had a penis tip for a head.
July 13th, 2011 at 9:16 AM
http://www.boredkillers.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/crocodile_alligator.jpg
Here you go TBL. You might want to quit presuming what your readers know. You sort of come off as Duffy when you do that and that isn’t a good thing.
July 13th, 2011 at 9:16 AM
You’re fighting with yourself on this one. Anyone who brings a young kid into a nice restaurant is a fucking moron. Even bringing a young kid into a Chilis after 8pm is a dumb idea. Our MO is get in early, and GTFO ASAP.
July 13th, 2011 at 9:16 AM
More restaurants need to do this.
romantic joints, steakhouses and ultra fine dining establishments, country clubs, sure. I’m all for it. But don’t expect it to happen at the lousy hamburger stand where you generally eat your dinner.
If you go some place where the cheapest entree is 25 bucks, and there’s no kid’s menu, you won’t encounter any 3 year olds.
But if you go to Olive Garden or Burger King, there’s going to be kids there. Because they cater to that business.
July 13th, 2011 at 9:17 AM
How can one reach down an alligator/crocodile’s throat and fuck with a valve when said throat is part of the jaws that are squeezing on my body?
July 13th, 2011 at 9:18 AM
When they write contracts like that, does it include playoff appearances as well?
July 13th, 2011 at 9:19 AM
How can one reach down an alligator/crocodile’s throat and fuck with a valve when said throat is part of the jaws that are squeezing on my body?
forget that. as with any animal, just jam your thumb up their butthole.
/southpark’d
July 13th, 2011 at 9:19 AM
Our MO is get in early, and GTFO ASAP.
If we eat out with the boy, 5:30 is the latest we get started eating. However, I don’t frequent fancy places so it isn’t much of an issue.
July 13th, 2011 at 9:19 AM
This restaurant is about 15 miles from my house – wouldn’t have ever considered eating there before (now I can’t anyway with a newborn).
It doesn’t bother me if places want to ban kids.
July 13th, 2011 at 9:20 AM
Go go Gadget Arms!
July 13th, 2011 at 9:20 AM
I don’t agree with this. I don’t have kids, and I don’t have a ton of money. But if I had both, why would I want to take my family to eat at some shitty chain?
If I want to eat at a nice restaurant and want my kids to come, the rest of you can piss off.
July 13th, 2011 at 9:20 AM
I was actually at OG yesterday for lunch. Don’t judge me. The wife wanted soup, salad, and breadsticks. I reluctantly agreed. Sure enough, a whiny little kid 3 tables over. Went on in spurts for the whole hour. I knew I should have went with Red Robin instead.
July 13th, 2011 at 9:21 AM
I’m not saying everyplace needs to do it but some definitely do, and a lot more need to have time limits as to when people bring kids in.
You don’t see me going to Chuck E. Cheese, despite my affinity for singing robots and shitty pizza.
July 13th, 2011 at 9:21 AM
we’ve all had freinds with benefits that have turned out fine.
We have?
July 13th, 2011 at 9:22 AM
rusty, once you get kids, you’ll realize that you don’t want to take your kids to a ‘nice’ restaurant. You want to go someplace where they give you crayons, and where the waitresses flirt with the kids and not you.
But the last thing you want is a place where the kid isn’t allowed to lay on the ground for a minute or two.
July 13th, 2011 at 9:22 AM
well yea, of course.
July 13th, 2011 at 9:23 AM
I understand this, but I want to enjoy my dinner as well. Now, we have to time everything such that we feed the baby, get him in the car (where he passes out everytime), and then we have roughly 90 minutes to order/eat/get out there before he could wake up and start screaming to eat again.
One of my most miserable dining experiences was about a month ago where we went to a Chinese buffet for dinner and my wife and I literally had to take turns eating a plate of food while the other was outside the restaurant dealing with a screaming baby.
July 13th, 2011 at 9:23 AM
our MO is to not take them out, anywhere but a mcdonald’s playland
and ndub, i need you to sign a waiver before going into alligator-infested waters
July 13th, 2011 at 9:23 AM
Did you have forcefully ridiculous and annoying conversations and laughter about how you and your work “just love coming here”?
July 13th, 2011 at 9:24 AM
Not at all. They already have a closer. Having him not finish 21 games will require hardly any selectivity whatsoever.
I’m kind of indifferent on the KRod trade. They already have a fairly established closer. The rest of their bullpen is sub par. While he might not make it any better, he certainly won’t make it worse. It’s just another arm. Mets are picking up a hefty portion of his salary too. I’m glad to see they’re doing everything they can this year though. No way they can afford Prince after this year.
July 13th, 2011 at 9:24 AM
If the Brewers have to deal with this problem, the trade was a success.
July 13th, 2011 at 9:24 AM
Prob varies from contract to contract, but I’d think the default answer is no.
July 13th, 2011 at 9:24 AM
I’m not saying everyplace needs to do it but some definitely do, and a lot more need to have time limits as to when people bring kids in.
I’m saying you can frequent finer establishments where children have been priced out, or that make no effort to cater to children and there will be no children there.
But if you want to start with curfews, what time do Mexicans have to be out of there? (look, I made a strawman!).
July 13th, 2011 at 9:24 AM
Yea…I’m going to be frank here. I’m not taking a kid to a nice restaurant in Philly or New York and don’t think they’re going to eat authentic Spanish, Israeli, sushi, locally sourced or prix-fixe meals.
July 13th, 2011 at 9:24 AM
Exactly.
If you have your young kids out at a restaurant (any restaurant) after 8pm, you aren’t doing it right.
July 13th, 2011 at 9:25 AM
I was actually at OG yesterday for lunch. Don’t judge me.
As long as you aren’t a basketball player and it wasn’t in NYC you should be fine.
July 13th, 2011 at 9:26 AM
I’ve no problem with the soup, salad & breadsticks lunch. It’s tasty, not too expensive. Rest of their menu….
July 13th, 2011 at 9:26 AM
So you leave him in the car while you eat? That’s my kind of parent!!
/not what you meant
July 13th, 2011 at 9:26 AM
When I have my kid with me, those types of places aren’t even on my radar because a 5 year old has zero interest in raw fish outside of making jokes about how gross it is.
July 13th, 2011 at 9:26 AM
We’ve taken kids to Applebee’s but that’s about as far as I’m willing to take it. The time between ordering and when the food finally arrives is brutal. Not sure why anyone would put themselves thru that.
July 13th, 2011 at 9:27 AM
my dog’s first porn.
July 13th, 2011 at 9:27 AM
Depends. Are they working?
July 13th, 2011 at 9:27 AM
I’ve no problem with the soup, salad & breadsticks lunch.
Those are the only good items on OG’s menu, IMO. I’ve yet to have an entre there that was better than so-so.
July 13th, 2011 at 9:27 AM
work=wife*
damnit, my burn doesn’t sound so good now.
July 13th, 2011 at 9:27 AM
We’ve done this before, but the most embarassing was in Wilkes-Barre, PA when the boy was ~5 months old. Never been there before and went into a Thai place because it was the only restaurant we could find. Got our menus, fed him a bottle to keep him quiet, and then he throws up all over the table and floor. I clean up, throw a $10 on the table, and we leave before the waitress comes back.
July 13th, 2011 at 9:28 AM
Rest of their menu….
so, so salty. We went last weekend, because we had a kid, and ol’ preggo was starving. She didn’t want to look around, just eat food fast. It was 6:30 on a Friday in some extreme outer suburb of NYC, and there were probably 70 kids under 6 in there.
July 13th, 2011 at 9:28 AM
my parents took my sister and i to a bunch of nice restaurants when we were growing up…def broadened my culinary horizons. thanks ‘rents.
July 13th, 2011 at 9:29 AM
We’ve taken kids to Applebee’s but that’s about as far as I’m willing to take it. The time between ordering and when the food finally arrives is brutal. Not sure why anyone would put themselves thru that.
Keep going guys…. every kid horror story is just another day added before I’d want to consider having kids. Right now there’s no way I’d want to have one before 35. If at all.
July 13th, 2011 at 9:31 AM
I can see taking my son out at nicer places when he’s a little older and his palate is such that he would actually eat different types of foods, but not as a pre-schooler.
Unless a place has chicken fingers or pizza, my 5 YO is not interested.
July 13th, 2011 at 9:31 AM
As a father with three kids let me say this: I hate kids at restaurants.
July 13th, 2011 at 9:33 AM
fucking hilarious. how long until that bed is completely destroyed?
July 13th, 2011 at 9:34 AM
I think they are trying to battle with Olive Garden for Sodium King title.
July 13th, 2011 at 9:35 AM
first kid at 39, atl. you’re doing it right
July 13th, 2011 at 9:35 AM
Does it not bother anyone else that Mila Kunis has no ass? She’s beautiful but she’ll never be in my top 5.
She has what we call around here a “long back” because her ass never starts, her back just runs on
http://celebpicture.blogspot.com/2007/06/mila-kunis-was-born-with-no-ass.html
/team ass
July 13th, 2011 at 9:35 AM
lol….I used to wait tables at the OG when I was 19. The food is meh at best. Good experience though. Everyone should be in the service industry for a little while.
July 13th, 2011 at 9:35 AM
My new favorite goalie mask.
July 13th, 2011 at 9:35 AM
I think they are trying to battle with Olive Garden for Sodium King title
Yep… the sad part is a lot of people go there thinking that the stuff there is “good” for you, because they’re actually sitting down at a table and not going through the McDonald’s drive-thru.
July 13th, 2011 at 9:36 AM
Same with mine. I always remember my dad looking at me like I was a dead kid walking if I acted up.
July 13th, 2011 at 9:37 AM
fucking hilarious. how long until that bed is completely destroyed?
if he’s not fucking it, he’s violently tossing it around (or both). it’s a Cabela’s, so it should be fairly durable.
July 13th, 2011 at 9:38 AM
Keep going guys…. every kid horror story is just another day added before I’d want to consider having kids.
It isn’t that bad. I think a few father’s are just venting right now. Think of kids under five as one of your drunken buddies. You generally know how they are going to act when they are drunk as hell and go along with it accordingly. However, every now and then they do something to completely surprise and piss you off.
July 13th, 2011 at 9:38 AM
Does it not bother anyone else that Mila Kunis has no ass? She’s beautiful but she’ll never be in my top 5.
I saw her in O’Hare about 4 years ago. In between that 70′s show and when she started doing movies…. there’s not much to her. She’s really tiny. She’s pretty, but nothing you couldn’t see out in a bar on a Friday night.
July 13th, 2011 at 9:38 AM
Did I really just put an apostrophe there. Fuck it.
July 13th, 2011 at 9:38 AM
my parents took my sister and i to a bunch of nice restaurants when we were growing up…def broadened my culinary horizons. thanks ‘rents.
my parents did the same thing, and i love many types of food now because of it. they always said, if you act up, you cant come back. and my brother and i loved the food so much, we were on best behavior.
July 13th, 2011 at 9:38 AM
One of my fears as a parent is that my children will be picky eaters. Fuck that noise.
July 13th, 2011 at 9:39 AM
is that Tina Turner?
July 13th, 2011 at 9:39 AM
nods at ark
July 13th, 2011 at 9:40 AM
My new favorite goalie mask.
mawney… i love Evil Dead. that mask is awesome.
July 13th, 2011 at 9:40 AM
Pretty much. It isn’t venting as much as sharing war stories. Just because everyone gives their one or two worst times, doesn’t mean every night is like that.
July 13th, 2011 at 9:40 AM
Yep… the sad part is a lot of people go there thinking that the stuff there is “good” for you, because they’re actually sitting down at a table and not going through the McDonald’s drive-thru.
i was watching that bizarre foods last night, and he was in montreal (which looks like a fucking awesome city). he was amazed at the amount of fat those people consumed and stayed relatively thin. their response- we eat good food with good unprocessed fat. not drive through food.
July 13th, 2011 at 9:40 AM
July 13th, 2011 at 9:41 AM
i was watching that bizarre foods last night, and he was in montreal (which looks like a fucking awesome city)
I’ve heard some pretty good things.
July 13th, 2011 at 9:42 AM
Same with me, however they didn’t start taking me to nicer places until I was 6 or 7. I was also a pretty quiet kid and didn’t act up.
July 13th, 2011 at 9:43 AM
As a father with three kids let me say this: I hate kids at restaurants.
your people complain about everything…
/good to see ya, hef
July 13th, 2011 at 9:43 AM
I’ve hears a story about a couple of different shaker bars there
July 13th, 2011 at 9:43 AM
The amount of fat that Americans eat has gone down over the past 20-30 years. It’s the sugar and empty calories, along with an increasingly sedentary lifestyle, that’s making us fat.
July 13th, 2011 at 9:44 AM
hate kids at restaurants.
Amen. I’m also not a fan of folks taking their young children to or dropping their kids off at movies after 9 p.m.
Re: Alligators v. Crocs
You never saw “Live and Let Die”, did you, TBL?
July 13th, 2011 at 9:45 AM
montreal (which looks like a fucking awesome city)
It is. Highly recommended.
July 13th, 2011 at 9:47 AM
i saw this woman who works for the management company who owns our office building as a receptionist at mcdonalds getting coffee. she must weigh close to 250 lbs no doubt helped by her coffee with FIVE CREAMS AND TEN SUGARS. and that little cream/sugar dispensing machine mcd has dispenses a lot per push.
July 13th, 2011 at 9:47 AM
I was picky as hell when I was a kid. now, I’ll eat about anything as long as it isn’t stinky nasty (like liver & onions for example) or doesn’t end with -loaf.
July 13th, 2011 at 9:47 AM
After watching Donald dink it around last week at the Castle, it’s hard not to like him again this week.
I think Watson has the creativity to get around RSG this weekend, but all he does is pee himself in Europe.
July 13th, 2011 at 9:47 AM
The amount of fat that Americans eat has gone down over the past 20-30 years. It’s the sugar and empty calories, along with an increasingly sedentary lifestyle, that’s making us fat.
This.
July 13th, 2011 at 9:48 AM
she must weigh close to 250 lbs
An Ohio 8.
July 13th, 2011 at 9:49 AM
Just because everyone gives their one or two worst times, doesn’t mean every night is like that.
My war story… The boy was two and just got over a hell of a flu. My mother was in town at the time because I was back in Greensburg helping clean up after the tornado and she was helping the wife with the sick boy. I get home and the next day we decide to goto RC’s in Martin City for some decent fried chicken. The boy is acting just fine. Sometime during lunch I noticed a bad smell. It apparently had been smelly for awhile, but the delicious fried chicken, biscuits, mashed potatoes and gravy had masked it. My kid had pissed out of his asshole and out of his diaper all over the place. Of course, he is acting just fine. Just shit everywhere. All over his clothes, chair, carpet. People staring and what not. It wasn’t his fault, but it was shitty situation.
July 13th, 2011 at 9:49 AM
Portion sizes in restaurants haven’t helped out, either.
July 13th, 2011 at 9:49 AM
100% true. The only things I have to do to lose a little bit of weight, is cut out my afternoon PB M&M’s and go to the gym twice a week. And yet…
July 13th, 2011 at 9:49 AM
but you should read about ‘CIA John’
though Mr. Young later noted, “If I had the name, I’d put it up. I’m an absolutist.”
Good read but I want to drop this motherfucking piece of shit Young into the ocean with Osama. What a fucking arrogant asshole.
July 13th, 2011 at 9:50 AM
Does that make her a Wisconsin 9?
July 13th, 2011 at 9:50 AM
+1.
add a hoodie and she’s an Ohio (ofer)9.
July 13th, 2011 at 9:50 AM
After watching Donald dink it around last week at the Castle, it’s hard not to like him again this week.
I think Watson has the creativity to get around RSG this weekend, but all he does is pee himself in Europe.
ha! methinks Westwood gets his first major this week.
July 13th, 2011 at 9:50 AM
bubba’s been complaining about not being able to adjust to the different style of short game needed here, but i can’t argue with donald at all.
im still trying to figure out my pick for this week…ive used a lot of golfers already in my league that i’d like now. might be stuck with adam scott, jason day or mcdowell (not a bad thing at all).
July 13th, 2011 at 9:51 AM
/rimshot
July 13th, 2011 at 9:52 AM
bubba’s been complaining about not being able to adjust to the different style of short game needed here
I read something the other day that kind of made Bubba sound like a dick. What say you Spence? I really want to like the guy.
July 13th, 2011 at 9:52 AM
I like Day, but I don’t know if he has a links game. He’s done well on tight layouts, so that could play to his advantage.
July 13th, 2011 at 9:52 AM
my parents took my sister and i to a bunch of nice restaurants when we were growing up…def broadened my culinary horizons. thanks ‘rents.
Same with mine. I always remember my dad looking at me like I was a dead kid walking if I acted up.
My kid is 6 and he is very familar with this look, so he is pretty well behaved when we take him out to a restaraunt.
July 13th, 2011 at 9:52 AM
I bet she also thinks that going shopping at the mall is exercise.
/look at how much I walked!
July 13th, 2011 at 9:53 AM
and she puts the TEN in tennessee.
are you fucking serious with this shit, miz? YOU’RE FROM FUCKING TENNESSEE. talk about stones and glass houses and all that…
July 13th, 2011 at 9:53 AM
Watson is a king-sized cocksucker. He and Mickelson are #1 and #1A in my book. FIGJAM #2.
July 13th, 2011 at 9:53 AM
OMG can movie theaters come up with this ban on kids under the age of 10 at Rated R movies? I’m going to be arrested for assault if I go to another Rated R movie with a crying baby or a screaming toddler running up and down the aisles.
July 13th, 2011 at 9:54 AM
are you fucking serious with this shit, miz? YOU’RE FROM FUCKING TENNESSEE. talk about stones and glass houses and all that…
good form. ATL_Badger approves.
July 13th, 2011 at 9:54 AM
Anybody that fastens all the buttons on their polo shirt is a cocksucker.
July 13th, 2011 at 9:55 AM
he was a pretty big dick during his trip to france…can’t defend him. and his bible quote bullshit afterwards really pissed me off.
bubba likes to be painted as happy go lucky, but he’s a moody dude. he can be angry and salty with the best of em…that side just rarely finds its way onto tv.
yea…which is kinda why i like adam scott this week. should be playing like an aussie course.
July 13th, 2011 at 9:55 AM
Watson is a king-sized cocksucker. He and Mickelson are #1 and #1A in my book. FIGJAM #2.
Looks that way, based on what I’ve heard recently. Disappointing.
Anybody that fastens all the buttons on their polo shirt is a cocksucker.
No argument here.
July 13th, 2011 at 9:55 AM
It’s the sugar
personally, i prefer sugar over the collection of chemicals used as an alternative. just moderate your sugar intake. at least it’s a natural product with a proven track record, unlike splenda.
July 13th, 2011 at 9:55 AM
montreal (which looks like a fucking awesome city).
book a flight there. That place is beautiful, and (for north america) really really old.
July 13th, 2011 at 9:56 AM
Or if they are on a plane, or in a restaurant, or really any place you might be, right?
July 13th, 2011 at 9:58 AM
That’s pretty funny.
July 13th, 2011 at 9:58 AM
Sometime during lunch I noticed a bad smell. It apparently had been smelly for awhile,
constant vigilance. That’ll be my first lesson at my upcoming “how to be a dad” class that I’m teaching. Be constantly vigilant for poop…otherwise, you’ll have a shit-tastrophe like the one you described.
July 13th, 2011 at 9:58 AM
Love Keri Hilson, could’ve done with a better pic.
/y’all haters are some fags though
July 13th, 2011 at 9:59 AM
I’ll be assaulting the parents, dummy. If you take your baby to a non-kids movie, you should get punched in the balls a few times yourself.
July 13th, 2011 at 9:59 AM
please. we may have some land whales, but we’ve got the smokeshows to make you forget the land whales even exist.
side note: there’s a lady here at my office (in FL) that was a big ol’ lady when I first started here 2 years ago…prolly about 300 lbs or more. she’s lost a LOT of weight since then by dieting and walking regularly around downtown during lunch (dropped at least 125 lbs). unfortunately, all of the weight melted off of her torso and her legs, but stayed on her ass. that thing’s gotta weigh 75 lbs by itself.
July 13th, 2011 at 9:59 AM
To be fair, if the chick is a deuce…deuce and a half, it is exercise.
July 13th, 2011 at 9:59 AM
book a flight there. That place is beautiful, and (for north america) really really old.
i think it will have to happen. wife did some work there, and said it looked like europe, and the people were awesome.
July 13th, 2011 at 9:59 AM
at least it’s a natural product with a proven track record,
legalize it?
July 13th, 2011 at 9:59 AM
I don’t go to the movies often, but I’ve only had an issue with kids a couple times. it’s the bitches that sit there on fucking facebook on their phones during the movie that bother the shit out of me.
July 13th, 2011 at 10:00 AM
who does everyone like at the open?
July 13th, 2011 at 10:00 AM
OMG can movie theaters come up with this ban on kids under the age of 10 at Rated R movies? I’m going to be arrested for assault if I go to another Rated R movie with a crying baby or a screaming toddler running up and down the aisles.
I completely agree with this. I have 2 kids under the age of 10, and there’s no way in hell I’m taking them to an R rated movie at any time. Be a responsible parent. Get a baby sitter if you really want to go for a night out. It’s not the end of the world if you can’t see a movie.
July 13th, 2011 at 10:01 AM
i think it will have to happen. wife did some work there, and said it looked like europe, and the people were awesome.
yeah, um, don’t take the wife. That may be tricky, but you’ll have more fun without her. Convince her she wants to go solo go colonial Williamsburg or something.
July 13th, 2011 at 10:01 AM
when and where does the class meet and how much is tuition? none of these are dealbreakers…I just need to know for scheduling and budgetary reasons. I’ve already signed up.
July 13th, 2011 at 10:02 AM
I’ve been watching my diet pretty close for probably the last 7 or 8 months, sugar is my one weakness.
July 13th, 2011 at 10:02 AM
yeah, um, don’t take the wife. That may be tricky, but you’ll have more fun without her.
why not?
July 13th, 2011 at 10:02 AM
the great smoky mountains do not count as smokeshows. just deal with the fact that your state is kentucky without the bluegrassy charisma and that the only reason it’s part of the united states is because it’s landlocked and we can’t give it to puerto rico.
because when the only things your state is known for is commercialized country music, creationism in public schools, al gore and the world’s largest carl’s jr., secession would actually be welcomed from the other 49.
July 13th, 2011 at 10:03 AM
That sounds awesome.
July 13th, 2011 at 10:03 AM
it’s the bitches that sit there on fucking facebook on their phones during the movie that bother the shit out of me.
That really wouldn’t bother me unless they’re making noise. Noise is the only thing that will distract me in a theater.
July 13th, 2011 at 10:03 AM
when and where does the class meet and how much is tuition? none of these are dealbreakers…
You’ll get to know your kid’s “poo face” very early on. Makes it easier to head off some of the really brutal ones.
July 13th, 2011 at 10:03 AM
I’m going to Transformers tongiht and may be forced to bitch about it on Twitter for TWO HOURS AND THIRTY FOUR FUCKING MINUTES.
I hate my wife sometimes.
July 13th, 2011 at 10:04 AM
Boom, roasted. Although I think most people would welcome Texas or Florida seceding first.
July 13th, 2011 at 10:04 AM
My mom was telling me a story about how her dad was in terms of discipline. He was a military man, and when they would act out, he would grab their arm and say, “we don’t do that” and just stare at them with this intense look. I hope to master that look by the time my kids are 4-5.
July 13th, 2011 at 10:04 AM
Oh these people too. I’ve yelled at my fair share of assholes texting during movies. Well, not really yelled, more like loudly said, “turn off your phone.”
July 13th, 2011 at 10:04 AM
I hate my wife sometimes.
She wants herself a piece of Labeouf, eh? At least you can stare at Rosie.
July 13th, 2011 at 10:05 AM
says the Ohesian.
/GEOGRAPHY BATTLE!!
I’ll take exception to Al Gore because we don’t like him either, but at least you didn’t try to pin Reba on us again.
July 13th, 2011 at 10:06 AM
because when the only things your state is known for is commercialized country music, creationism in public schools, al gore and the world’s largest carl’s jr., secession would actually be welcomed from the other 49
I’d love to see your take-down of jawwjuh. We’ve given you plenty of material.
July 13th, 2011 at 10:06 AM
why not?
red light district and/or casino are not places to hang out with the wife. If you take her, you’ll be pounding out cobblestone all day long, buying souvenirs and looking at old ass buildings.
It’s beautiful though.
July 13th, 2011 at 10:07 AM
I think she’s more of an Optimus girl.
At least I’m gonna go on a Wednesday night and sit away from people so I don’t bother them with my complaining on my phone. I hope to entertain you all on Twitter between 8:00 and 11:00 central tonight.
July 13th, 2011 at 10:07 AM
why the hell do you care if someone is texting in a movie theater?
July 13th, 2011 at 10:07 AM
Oh these people too. I’ve yelled at my fair share of assholes texting during movies. Well, not really yelled, more like loudly said, “turn off your phone.”
Bunch of movie theater Nazi’s up in here. As long as they’re not making noise, who cares? If the movie’s any good, you’re not going to notice if someone has there phone on.
July 13th, 2011 at 10:08 AM
there phone on
their. damn.
July 13th, 2011 at 10:10 AM
Boom, roasted. Although I think most people would welcome Texas or Florida seceding first
most people wouldnt have too much of a problem seeing the assbags from pennsylvania go away, either.
July 13th, 2011 at 10:10 AM
why the hell do you care if someone is texting in a movie theater?
Sounds of keystrokes and audible beeps or buzzes when receiving texts?
July 13th, 2011 at 10:10 AM
I’ve never understood why women will drag their significant others to a movie they’ll hate. I don’t want to deal with the constant bitching and complaining leading up to the movie, then the weeks of whining about the movie afterward. Not to mention the movie will be brought up in every conversation with friends. “She made me go see this movie, now I’m going to mock her!”
July 13th, 2011 at 10:10 AM
Because you’re paying to watch the movie, not spend the damn time on your phone on facebook or texting.
July 13th, 2011 at 10:10 AM
I’m going to be arrested for assault if I go to another Rated R movie with a crying baby or a screaming toddler running up and down the aisles
STORY TIME!
So I go to see a screening of Road to Perdition with my buddy back in 2002. We got there late, so we had to sit in the second to last row up in the corner. Behind us were four kids (maybe 14 to 16 yrs old, guessing): three girls and one boy. You could tell that the boy was there trying mack on one girl and her two friends were just along for the ride. They’re goofing around before the lights go down and I tell my buddy, “This doesn’t look good.” He says, “Chill out, I’m sure they’ll stop talking when the trailers start.”
Trailers start and they’re still talking, snickering, etc. I think the teen boy is trying to constantly cop a feel or make out and the girl’s friends are all like, “No! Tee-hee-hee!” and shit like that. My buddy again says, “Hey, let’s see if they say shit during the movie.” Meanwhile, my blood pressure starts rising. I’m 21 at the time and felt like a ballistic missile.
TO BE CONTINUED…
July 13th, 2011 at 10:11 AM
I get the beeps being annoying…that’s actual noise.
July 13th, 2011 at 10:11 AM
I can’t help but notice the light which is distracting and those people generally then go the “What’s going on” route once they re-join the film…unless you’re a heart surgeon you’re probably not important enough to require leaving your phone on during a movie
July 13th, 2011 at 10:13 AM
Oh fuck off…
July 13th, 2011 at 10:13 AM
are they making you read their texts too and participate in the textual conversations?
July 13th, 2011 at 10:13 AM
A movie theater is dark. phones are bright. It’s distracting and rude. You’re at a movie theater, not in your living room. If you want to check to see what time it is, cool. But you sure as shit don’t need to be updating your facebook!
July 13th, 2011 at 10:13 AM
Because you’re paying to watch the movie, not spend the damn time on your phone on facebook or texting.
Why the fuck do you care that someone’s not taking advantage of what they paid for? Do you not allow people to leave a restaurant because they didn’t finish their food?
July 13th, 2011 at 10:13 AM
You’ll get to know your kid’s “poo face” very early on. Makes it easier to head off some of the really brutal ones. Dirt
Oh, I thought I knew my kid’s “poo face” but the runny shit just flowed. Reminded me of some post-Natural Light marathon evening shits the next morning in college.
July 13th, 2011 at 10:13 AM
As soon as I got my iPhone, the 1st thing I did was to turn off the clicks on the keyboard. There’s no reason to have that on.
July 13th, 2011 at 10:15 AM
A movie theater is dark. phones are bright. It’s distracting and rude.
I’ve never once been distracted by the screen of a phone in a theater. The movie screen is 10000000X brighter, right? It’s one thing if their phone makes noises when they’re texting, but if it’s an iphone on silent, the movie must be pretty terrible for you to notice some girl has her phone out a row ahead of you or 4 seats over.
July 13th, 2011 at 10:15 AM
I don’t get this attitude. why wouldn’t you want to do something with your wife/significant other that she enjoys? buncha selfish mofos in here.
July 13th, 2011 at 10:15 AM
mine was a singular experience, but there was a group of thirty-something women, probably about 6-8 of them sitting in front of me at the theater, all with their phones on checking facebook the entire movie. that’s 8 glowing screens 1 row in front of me. annoying as shit.
July 13th, 2011 at 10:15 AM
/nods
July 13th, 2011 at 10:15 AM
TO BE CONTINUED… heldover
This better end with you killing a raccoon in a clumsy and hilarious manner.
July 13th, 2011 at 10:16 AM
sounds like you need to take your ADD medicine before you go see a movie.
July 13th, 2011 at 10:16 AM
Reminded me of some post-Natural Light marathon evening shits the next morning in college.
Ha! I’ve dealt with a few of those, shoots right up the back of their diaper.
July 13th, 2011 at 10:17 AM
That’s some slow typing… take a typing class. Very valuable skill to have these days.
July 13th, 2011 at 10:18 AM
I have plenty of horror stories of people starting a five minute conversation in the middle of a movie or hearing text beeps or white screens showing. When I’m in the movie, I like to focus and I can notice distractions very easily. It’s common decency(sp?) to at least focus on the damn movie. You have to be connected every minute of your life?
July 13th, 2011 at 10:18 AM
I don’t know, but the big fucking screen that emits a shit ton of light keeps my attention over a little lcd screen in someones lap.
July 13th, 2011 at 10:18 AM
Jesus, that’s a sad addiction right there…I’m all for theaters kicking those people out since they do say before the movie to turn your phones off, you’ve been warned
July 13th, 2011 at 10:18 AM
This. Ever.
July 13th, 2011 at 10:18 AM
/makes mental note to tie Glad Force Flex bag around bottom half of kid at all times in public
July 13th, 2011 at 10:19 AM
CONTINUED from 189…
So the movie starts and the teeny boppers are actually quiet…until about 20 minutes into the movie. Again with the giggling and the “no” and the dude saying shit like he’s a bad ass. “That dude ain’t tough” or some such shit. I’m digging the movie, so I don’t want to get up. But my buddy has to go to the bathroom. I ask him to tell a manager when he goes down. He comes back, says he told a worker about the problem, and low and behold, here comes a theater worker up the stairs. They get up there and…do nothing. They stand and wait. Now the teeny ass bags aren’t saying anything. Dude stays up there for a few minutes then leaves.
Five minutes pass by and the kids are back it.
Finally, the teen by gets up and the girls are being chatty as ever. I finally turn around and say to the head girl (the one who was apparently being felt up behind me) “Hey, shut the fuck up.”
She fires back, “You don’t tell me that! I’m a girl! You show me some respect!”
“No, you show everybody in here respect and shut the fuck up.”
Now I’ve done it. Ten minutes later, the boyfriend or whatever comes back to his seat with popcorn (probably for his “girlfriend’s” chubby friends). I can hear her whispering to him, telling him what happened. He’s silent for about five minutes and then…
TO BE CONTINUED
July 13th, 2011 at 10:19 AM
That’s some slow typing… take a typing class. Very valuable skill to have these days.
I think he was waiting to be asked. I was waiting to see if you guys got the hint.
I’m curious, although if I had been 21, I would have turned around and given a running commentary to the other two girls, about the sex moves, until all 4 of them moved.
But seriously, take a typing class. Especially if you love to play computer.
July 13th, 2011 at 10:20 AM
This is a retarded analogy.
July 13th, 2011 at 10:20 AM
I have plenty of horror stories of people starting a five minute conversation in the middle of a movie or hearing text beeps or white screens showing
I agree.. that’s rude and unacceptable. But silently tapping on your silent phone? I don’t see anything wrong with it. I’m not one of those people that texts in movies either, and I only go to maybe 3 a year. If that.
July 13th, 2011 at 10:21 AM
he better have been cutting a hole in the bottom of that popcorn bucket.
July 13th, 2011 at 10:21 AM
Mize – I think you are in the minority on this texting at movies thing. I don’t give a shit because I don’t goto movies very often and those usually involve the latest Pixar joint.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1L3eeC2lJZs
July 13th, 2011 at 10:22 AM
word.
July 13th, 2011 at 10:23 AM
We’ve been married ever since.
July 13th, 2011 at 10:23 AM
TO BE CONTINUED
Go on…
July 13th, 2011 at 10:24 AM
Mize – I think you are in the minority on this texting at movies thing.
i was once sitting next to some horrible woman at a super busy movie (LOTR-TROTK) who had her phone on, got a call, let the call go to voicemail (4 rings), listened to the voicemail, and then called the other person back to tell her something.
It was awful, but she was a black lady, and her date was a huge black guy, so I just sat there and stewed, because black people will punch you during a movie if you piss them off. Luckily, it was the 4th time I was seeing that movie.
July 13th, 2011 at 10:25 AM
This is gold.
July 13th, 2011 at 10:26 AM
Opposite George
July 13th, 2011 at 10:26 AM
KC, that was excellent.
July 13th, 2011 at 10:28 AM
LOL
July 13th, 2011 at 10:28 AM
He starts doing that “mocking your voice” thing, where they repeat something you’ve previously said, but either raise or lower their voice and slow it down so they make it sound like you’re retarded or something.
“You show us respect, DURP!” he keeps saying. And saying. And saying. Little shit head might have even kicked my seat , but at that point Tom Hanks is laying waste to fools and I’m not getting up. I just lean forward so my back isn’t even touching the seat. At this point I decided if he threw anything then it’s simply “go time.” Movie finally ends and my buddy and I lineup to exit our row. I don’t even turn to acknowledge the shit heads behind us, but that asshole boy just sits there slouching in his seat and says something like, “show us respect. what are you gonna do?” I whip my glasses off like Alec Baldwin in that SNL skit, practically lean over our row of seats so I can eye him down properly, and say something to the effect of, “Give me a reason, right now, to end you. I got no problem going to jail for killing a little shitstain like you.”
Kid looked like he just saw somebody other than his father banging his mom. And the girls all sitting with him were mortified. They didn’t say anything. They didn’t get up from their seats. They stayed in place until after my buddy and I got out the row.
Outside the theater, my buddy tells me, “I really thought I was gonna have to explain to your parents why you went to jail.” He told me I had a crazed look in my eyes. Which goes to show that you don’t always need to be a big dude to intimidate somebody. Obviously, it helps if they’re a teenager and you have a serial killer’s state, but I digress…
Oh yeah, and then I went and killed a family of raccoons in a very hilarious manner. (for KC Res)
Fin.
July 13th, 2011 at 10:30 AM
Sorry that took so long, folks. I’m dealing with two dogs jumping all over the damn place this morning.
July 13th, 2011 at 10:30 AM
Do you wear blinders during movies? If someone two rows in front of me turns on their phone, I can see it regardless of how good the movie is. And it’s usually a fucking guy turning on his phone, by the way.
July 13th, 2011 at 10:30 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1L3eeC2lJZsvery funnah.
July 13th, 2011 at 10:32 AM
Which goes to show that you don’t always need to be a big dude to intimidate somebody.
And that’s why you should never sit infront of the wheel chair accesible row at the movies.
July 13th, 2011 at 10:33 AM
Do you wear blinders during movies?
No. I look at the screen the whole time though, and not what’s around me. Honestly, someone could have committed a murder 3 seats over during Inception and I wouldn’t have noticed. I guess I’m in the minority.
July 13th, 2011 at 10:35 AM
He came to that movie to get some peace from the old lady but does she show him that respect? No. She keeps texting him of shit he has to do once the movies over.
July 13th, 2011 at 10:35 AM
awesome.
July 13th, 2011 at 10:36 AM
You’re probably just one of the assholes who gets on his phone during the movie.
July 13th, 2011 at 10:37 AM
You’re probably just one of the assholes who gets on his phone during the movie
No. Not at all.
July 13th, 2011 at 10:40 AM
For the record, that does not work with nachos
July 13th, 2011 at 11:18 AM
There are sooooooooooooooo many better pictures of Keri Hilson TBL. For shame.
/ she looks better in videos than pictures