Pictured above is the name of a horse who participated in some sort of galloping race at Penn National this past weekend. Said horsie was apparently supposed to be listed as “Stolen Pennies,” but instead somehow ended up in the racing results as “Stolen Penis.” It goes without saying, but forgetting that extra ‘n’ and neglecting to provide the necessary ‘e’ will always come back to bite you. Stolen piece of currency or stolen wang not withstanding, the horse proved to be a top finisher according to the photo we’ve been provided with.

If you didn’t read the first three sentences of this post in Beavis and Butt-Head voice, we can comfortably say you’ve kicked your morning off from a cold, improper perspective.