Weekly Top Five: LeBron, DeShawn, Kate Upton and Hockey!
Each week Stephen and I will recap some of the bigger stories from the lively week in athletics. We’ve become emotionally attached to putting lots of thought into this avalanche of a feature, and every time this post appears the incredible theme to Game of Thrones heroically plays. As always, please remember to be as irrational as possible when interacting with your fellow TBL commenters.
1. The NBA Finals – LeBron Lost!
TSH — This is the first time in years I was glued to each and every game of the NBA Finals. Whether you care to admit it or not, we can all thank LeBron for the magnetism. Since winning the title, Mavs owner Mark Cuban has peed with the trophy, slept with the trophy, made out with the trophy, and even showered with the trophy. It’s been a great week.
CRM — It already seems so long ago. I made the mistake of aligning myself with LeBron and he crushed me. The Heat will be back! They just need to trade for Jimmer and they’ll be set!
2. Bruins Win Hockey Tournament (The Couv Burns!)
TSH — Riots, riots, making out on the street, and more riots. That’s all anyone will remember about the 2011 Stanley Cup Finals.
CRM — Too bad that Luongo didn’t show up for most of the series. As much as I hate on Boston, at least they would have been too indifferent to riot if the Canucks had won. And they still probably would have rioted out of happiness in Vancouver because they’re obviously animals.
3. DeShawn Stevenson
TSH — Between his tasteful tshirt and his drunk solo mission, it’s been an enjoyable helping of DeShawn Stevenson.
CRM — Seriously. DeShawn Stevenson. Scott Raab. A raft. The Pacific. Just let them smugly smile at each other as they drift away. Would anyone complain?
4. Kate Upton Because it’s Kate Upton
TSH — Kate had a nice time at the Yankee game with her sister and, because of that, I’m now aware she has a sister. No, she does not look like Tara Reid.
CRM — I get in less trouble when I talk about Kate Middleton so I’ll stay out of this.
5. Dirk
TSH — There’s been so much coverage on LeBron and the Heat this week that it only feels right to give Dirk his own slot here. Incredible performance by a guy whose only flaw very well might be his taste in chicks.
CRM — I am happy for Dirk. He was a lot of fun to watch this year. When that jumper is falling (and falling and falling and falling) it’s a LeBron damn beautiful thing to watch.
Honorable Mention
A lot of TBL commenters are horrifying tippers … a fucking hat!
***
Query of the Week
Donkey Kong or Donkey Kong Jr?
***
This Week in Retarded Pictures of Snooki
TSH — Not sure what the photographers are doing in Italy, but a picture of Snooki’s new line of flip flops is all we have this week. Surprisingly, they feature pickles instead of dicks.
CRM – Even for flip flops, these are disgusting.
***
“Hell: The Sequel” is Incredible

- The ACC is Perceived As Weak, Because It Has Been Profoundly Weak
- Josh Collmenter and Miguel Montero of the Diamondbacks Collaborate on Baseball’s Bobbling Catch of the Year [Video]
- Australian Hockey Linesman Elbowed in the Head Suffers Concussion, is Replaced by Working Television Commentator [Video]
- Robinson Cano Surprised a Sick Fan at the MLB Fancave and They Played Wiffle Ball & Ate Ice Cream [Video]
- Bob Uecker Took a Picture with WWE’s Bella Twins at a Cardinals Game

- kazzythekid on The ACC is Perceived As Weak, Because It Has Been Profoundly Weak
- A.P. on The ACC is Perceived As Weak, Because It Has Been Profoundly Weak
- Nada on The ACC is Perceived As Weak, Because It Has Been Profoundly Weak
- A.P. on Australian Hockey Linesman Elbowed in the Head Suffers Concussion, is Replaced by Working Television Commentator [Video]
- A.P. on Australian Hockey Linesman Elbowed in the Head Suffers Concussion, is Replaced by Working Television Commentator [Video]
98 Responses to “Weekly Top Five: LeBron, DeShawn, Kate Upton and Hockey!”
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June 17th, 2011 at 2:51 PM
Christie Upton > Kate Upton
Yeah, I fucking said it.
Blue eyes. Winner.
June 17th, 2011 at 2:52 PM
excellent
June 17th, 2011 at 2:52 PM
Donkey Kong Country 1 and 2. And it’s not even close. GTFO.
June 17th, 2011 at 2:52 PM
That’s all anyone will remember about the 2011 Stanley Cup Finals.
Why don’t you speak for yourself, John
June 17th, 2011 at 2:52 PM
She got them crazy eyes.
June 17th, 2011 at 2:53 PM
they caught my eye as well. sadly, after further investigation, I think they are contacts.
June 17th, 2011 at 2:54 PM
the incredible theme to Game of Thrones
what a dumb name for a show.
June 17th, 2011 at 2:55 PM
GODDAMN WOMEN AND THEIR FAKE SHIT!
/schedules spray on tan appointment
June 17th, 2011 at 2:55 PM
You guys need the audio of Dirk singing Queen.
June 17th, 2011 at 2:56 PM
Glad I’m not the only one who thinks this. I always fast forward through the openings of shows until this one. It makes me want to swing a broadsword and that little fuck Joffrey
June 17th, 2011 at 2:57 PM
You guys need the audio of Dirk singing Queen.
yeah, that was rough. He was also very, very drunk.
June 17th, 2011 at 2:58 PM
No lie, I have my alarm clock set on ESPN radio, and when it off this morning, Mike and Mike were smack dab in the middle of playing this. I jolted awake.
June 17th, 2011 at 2:58 PM
heard it on the radio this morning. ouch.
June 17th, 2011 at 2:59 PM
I always fast forward through the openings of shows until this one.
I skipped it the first week, and had absolutely no clue what was going on. I had to quit halfway through and start over. I normally am not forced to pay that much attention to TV, but what a great show.
June 17th, 2011 at 2:59 PM
Same here. It gets me pumped.
June 17th, 2011 at 3:00 PM
For nerds who play Magic.
/can’t remember who said this
June 17th, 2011 at 3:00 PM
No, they don’t
June 17th, 2011 at 3:00 PM
the incredible theme to Game of Thrones
I’d rather the metal version.
what a dumb name for a show.
How so?
June 17th, 2011 at 3:01 PM
holy shit I’ve had this muscle twitch on the back of my shoulder all day and I am about to go fucking crazy.
June 17th, 2011 at 3:02 PM
what a dumb name for a show.
For nerds who play Magic.
/can’t remember who said this
Don’t know if you noticed, but that’s about 85-90% of the Internet.
June 17th, 2011 at 3:03 PM
Someone said it in the comments after TBL said that it was a dumb name for a show. Whatever, that show’s awesome.
June 17th, 2011 at 3:04 PM
COuld be worse, you could have a stoma back there.
June 17th, 2011 at 3:05 PM
Best opening to a current show is Breakout Kings.
It’ll remind you of 80′s cheese.
June 17th, 2011 at 3:06 PM
I’ve never heard of this show.
June 17th, 2011 at 3:06 PM
This is fantastic. How can I win a trip to Oktoberfest with Dirk?
June 17th, 2011 at 3:06 PM
COuld be worse, you could have a stoma back there.
With people fucking it, right? That was the implication? That there would be a stoma on someone’s back and it would be getting fucked?
June 17th, 2011 at 3:06 PM
That’s fucking awesome. I need this on my iPod right now.
And about 85-90% of the internet are fucking dorks.
/broadstrokes
People can shit on that show all they want. It’s still fucking awesome.
June 17th, 2011 at 3:07 PM
Damn it.
I think I totally misread Fredos comment.
June 17th, 2011 at 3:07 PM
what a dumb name for a show.
It’s better than if they’d called it Poo Chicken, though
June 17th, 2011 at 3:08 PM
John Adams theme is amazing. It builds into sheer madness and then, victory.
June 17th, 2011 at 3:08 PM
What’s the purpose of having one if it isn’t getting pegged?
June 17th, 2011 at 3:09 PM
Naming Game Of Thrones = Bust
June 17th, 2011 at 3:09 PM
Indeed. The music to the intro is epic. I’m looking forward to Joffrey getting drawn and quartered or something that painful, either in the season finale or next season. Please happen.
/avoids Wikipedia for spoilers
June 17th, 2011 at 3:10 PM
Second-best HBO mini series after Band of Brothers.
June 17th, 2011 at 3:10 PM
Naming Game Of Thrones = Bust
You forgot to get a consensus
June 17th, 2011 at 3:11 PM
One-man consensus
June 17th, 2011 at 3:11 PM
it’s on A&E. not too bad. I was trying to decide between it and the Killing, glad I went with Breakout Kings.
the opening song to Deadwood remains one of my favorites ever.
June 17th, 2011 at 3:12 PM
Grantland is worth it just for Wright Thompson’s whiskey articles.
June 17th, 2011 at 3:12 PM
Wait, Game Of Thrones is stupid b\c I think the title is bad? Even though people in the comments almost universally watch it to rave reviews? Consensus Bust!
/TBL’d
//Never watched it, but everyone here seems to dig it
June 17th, 2011 at 3:13 PM
That’s fucking awesome. I need this on my iPod right now.
Follow the link at the bottom. It’s free to download.
And I was just having a bit of fun. Nothing meant by it.
John Adams theme is amazing. It builds into sheer madness and then, victory.
Second-best HBO mini series after Band of Brothers.
Agree with this.
Right now, I’d say that Game of Thrones is 3rd in HBO series behind The Wire and Deadwood.
June 17th, 2011 at 3:13 PM
Nice to see racism is gone from the south.
/nope
June 17th, 2011 at 3:13 PM
Second-best HBO mini series after Band of Brothers.
my third toe on my left foot is my 2nd best toe on my left foot.
June 17th, 2011 at 3:13 PM
More Princess Bride than Braveheart
June 17th, 2011 at 3:14 PM
Grantland is worth it just for Wright Thompson’s whiskey articles.
I was surprised they got the masked man, and then more surprised that the masked man didn’t even bother to conceal his identity there. So strange.
June 17th, 2011 at 3:14 PM
Nice to see racism is gone from the south.
Mind boggling
June 17th, 2011 at 3:14 PM
I was trying to decide between it and the Killing, glad I went with Breakout Kings.
A smart choice. I’m fucking done with The Killing. I watch this episode on Sunday and that’s it.
June 17th, 2011 at 3:14 PM
Holy shit, I was just reading that.
June 17th, 2011 at 3:17 PM
I like to play the Red Dead Redemption soundtrack to get amped
June 17th, 2011 at 3:19 PM
Game of Thrones the show=awesomeness. A Song of Fire & Ice series=pants-wetting.
Next book is out on July 12, yeah?
June 17th, 2011 at 3:19 PM
yeppers. can’t wait!
June 17th, 2011 at 3:20 PM
I need to check this Pappy Van Winkle stuff out.
June 17th, 2011 at 3:20 PM
LOL
June 17th, 2011 at 3:21 PM
I had to google Scott Raab…and the description given was “self-described ‘fat Jew from Cleveland’”. Is this the guy to whom you are referring? And why do I dislike him?
June 17th, 2011 at 3:23 PM
Yup. I can’t fucking wait.
June 17th, 2011 at 3:24 PM
Did anyone read the “Screw Boston” article on Grantland? http:
Doesn’t it kind of feel like someone said at the end “wait, this is grantland, you need to say ‘fuck’ somewhere in there”
Just seemed a little weird.
June 17th, 2011 at 3:26 PM
OK theaton, next lesson. adding links.
For all of these html commands, you have to both open them and close them. The easiest way to do that for linking is to highlight what you want to use as your link, and then hit link. It will open at the beginning, and close at the end. Very similar to the easiest way to open and close italics.
I didn’t read the Boston thing on grantland, though. I am starting to get choosy with their content already. So much content.
June 17th, 2011 at 3:27 PM
I get that feeling for a lot of the stuff they’ve done so far. I just don’t understand the point of most of the articles, like the wrestling one today. Or the insanely long cricket one by Ken Tremendous and that other guy, which made me as bored as they were watching it.
It seems like a bunch of dudes that collectively think, “Wouldn’t it be cool if we wrote an article about…” only the answer so far has almost always been “No.”
June 17th, 2011 at 3:29 PM
I paid way too much for a bottle last Christmas for my father in law. Neither of us were crazy about it, definitely not worth it. And yes, I drank half the bottle I gave as a gift.
June 17th, 2011 at 3:29 PM
A lot of those posts are too long for my attention span. I think I’ve read four articles since the site went live.
June 17th, 2011 at 3:31 PM
Yeah, that was my bad on the link.
It does seem like they need to figure out more of an identity or it is going to flop. I got really into the Stanley Cup profile that they did and then realized that it was 5 pages long and would take nearly an hour to read. Not really convenient for the work atmosphere.
June 17th, 2011 at 3:32 PM
A lot of those posts are too long for my attention span. I think I’ve read four articles since the site went live.
Same here. Simmons first column was good, but that’s about it for me. Also, not a lot of the stuff they’ve written about have really interested me. Reality TV? Cricket? The writing was decent enough I guess, but if I’m really not interested in those things I’m not going to spend 10 minutes reading the column.
June 17th, 2011 at 3:32 PM
A lot of those posts are too long for my attention span. I think I’ve read four articles since the site went live.
I did maybe 8 or 10. I’ve opened more than I’ve finished, that’s for sure. It’s nice that it’s content, and I think it feels a little forced because everybody who works there is getting something out the door quick in the opening week.
I listened to the lebatard podcast, which I normally don’t, but it was Mavs related, had nothing to do wtih it being on grantland.
June 17th, 2011 at 3:32 PM
For spencer.
June 17th, 2011 at 3:32 PM
Yeah, that was my bad on the link.
no problem, you’re doing good. Your gravatar shows up now, too.
June 17th, 2011 at 3:34 PM
Theaton6
+ 1 Wilf Paiement autographed sweater for the gravatar
June 17th, 2011 at 3:34 PM
New guy! Colorado Rockies avatar! High five! Are you also a current Devils fan by chance?
Guys, it’s gorgeous outside here. I hope where you’re at you can enjoy some sunshine when you get home because it’s amazing right now. Cannot believe Doug Davis is blanking the Yankees right now either. Doug Davis!
June 17th, 2011 at 3:37 PM
Dirt – you getting your roommate any cool Mavs championship gear?
June 17th, 2011 at 3:37 PM
Bringing back the USMNT avatar for the Gold Cup.
June 17th, 2011 at 3:37 PM
I’ll join in with the congrats on a classy gravatar, Theaton, although I remain unconvinced they ever actually existed.
June 17th, 2011 at 3:41 PM
Yeah I love me some Rockies gear. I have an authentic game jersey from Rick Ramage /pre DUI
I am a Hockey fan in general, mostly Avs, but I have a lot of respect for the Devils, Brodeur, Stevens, etc…
Also a huge fan of the Jets coming back to Winnipeg, mostly for the logo.
/fingers crossed
June 17th, 2011 at 3:42 PM
Also a huge fan of the Jets coming back to Winnipeg, mostly for the logo.
/fingers crossed
fetch?
June 17th, 2011 at 3:43 PM
Also a huge fan of the Jets coming back to Winnipeg, mostly for the logo.
New guy is a keeper.
June 17th, 2011 at 3:44 PM
Fuck the avs. Go Wings. But welcome to the new guy.
June 17th, 2011 at 3:44 PM
Listened to that metalish version of the GoT theme three times now, top notch
Dirk being sleeveless at the party was more egregious than his singing
June 17th, 2011 at 3:45 PM
Fuck the avs. Go Wings. But welcome to the new guy.
The fuck is this warm welcome bullshit?! I got no such love. The Barrel Man is a great avatar.
/bitter
June 17th, 2011 at 3:45 PM
No offense, but fuck that guy. Maggie was a good man. Glad we put his number in the rafters.
June 17th, 2011 at 3:46 PM
I think most people, besides Lefty, are fans of Winnipeg having a team. When are they announcing their name?
June 17th, 2011 at 3:46 PM
Keep the grill warm. I’ll be over in an hour.
June 17th, 2011 at 3:47 PM
No offense, but fuck that guy. Maggie was a good man. Glad we put his number in the rafters.
They were best friends, I feel badly for both families.
June 17th, 2011 at 3:47 PM
I didn’t get a warm welcome either. I’m not complaining though. I came out guns blazing getting in arguments with quite a few people early on. Gotta show your strength.
June 17th, 2011 at 3:49 PM
My hatred for the Wings has lessened over the years with more respect for guys like Babcock, Zetterberg and Lindstrom. Along with the Avs going through a bit of rebuilding. I feel like the rivalry has lost a bit of pinache. It will be back, we just need a goalie.
That being said, fuck Scotty Bowman right in his bald head.
June 17th, 2011 at 3:49 PM
I’m firing it up. You’re welcome to come by. Dogs are going on in a few minutes. I got some mango-lemon salmon marinating in the fridge for the nightcap.
Normally not a New Belgium fan, but I got their summer ale. Giving it a run. Also grilling some corn, making German potato salad and got some lebercase from the Paulina Meat Market on the recommendation of my barber.
You live by Lincoln Square, have you heard of Jerry’s Sausage House? Down the street from the Brauhaus apparently? He recommended I check that out too.
June 17th, 2011 at 3:49 PM
I didn’t get a warm welcome either. I’m not complaining though. I came out guns blazing getting in arguments with quite a few people early on. Gotta show your strength.
I chose Spence to start my first pissing match with. I chose. Poorly.
/sips from the golden cup
//disintegrates
///Last Crusade’d
June 17th, 2011 at 3:50 PM
What were your thoughts on Anderson and what they got back for him? I agree, Avs have some solid talent at the forward spots. Just need to shore up the defense. In a bad way too. They were scoring well in December, January and February. Just couldn’t stop anyone.
June 17th, 2011 at 3:51 PM
Gene’s Sausage Shop is the name and it is the most amazing place in the city. I’m half a block from there. Brauhaus . . . . now I want a boot.
June 17th, 2011 at 3:51 PM
Yeah I feel a little guilty with the sweater, Mags was good shit.
June 17th, 2011 at 3:51 PM
SC you throwing a party or you eating all that shit yourself?
June 17th, 2011 at 3:52 PM
Along with the Avs going through a bit of rebuilding.
You don’t know from rebuilding.
/love me some Matt Duchene
June 17th, 2011 at 3:53 PM
Mine was with either SC or Jersey. Can’t remember.
June 17th, 2011 at 3:54 PM
When I cook, I cook in quantity CJ. Nothing wrong with leftovers. My roommate will be back after work and I got a buddy coming over to watch baseball tonight. He and I grew up together, we’re driving back to the burbs tomorrow for Father’s Day.
Watson – My barber said they have boots. I’ve never drank out of one before and I want to. I’ll trek up there next week if you meet me for a beer.
June 17th, 2011 at 3:55 PM
You have to put down a 65 dollar deposit in case you break it. But I’m in if you are.
June 17th, 2011 at 3:56 PM
Dont forget if youre chugging out of a boot, to turn it before the bubble hits the heel
June 17th, 2011 at 3:57 PM
Anderson disintegrated early this year and he could never get his confidence back. I’m not sure he will be huge for Ottawa either, but he is serviceable. From what I can tell, Elliot isn’t going to be much of anything for us. I think our best hope is trying to draft someone.
The Stewart trade hurt a little. Johnson is what we needed, but Stewart was fun to have on the team and he is going to be a threat in years to come.
June 17th, 2011 at 3:57 PM
Dont forget if youre chugging out of a boot, to turn it before the bubble hits the heel
Words to live by. I learned that the hard way at the Essen Haus in Madison.
June 17th, 2011 at 4:00 PM
Yes, this is essential. My softball team chugs a few boots together after every game. We time ourselves. Record time is like a minute and 17 seconds, I think.
June 17th, 2011 at 4:03 PM
Wait, do you HAVE to chug the boot? Or can I just drink the sucker? Not much of a beer chugger here. Even in college I wasn’t good at it.
Not so good at the opening the throat thing. There, I’ve just left you ample material for stoma jokes. I’m going to the grill.
June 17th, 2011 at 4:06 PM
You can just drink it regularly. But it gets warm kind of quick.
June 17th, 2011 at 4:56 PM
[Gravatar image]
Along with the Avs going through a bit of rebuilding.
You don’t know from rebuilding.
From the heights of Peter Forsberg (my #1 hockey crush) and Joe Sakic to…well…hmm…uhh…