This is the type of post that could go on for days so there eventually had to be a cutoff. Allow me to preface it by telling you that these are simply the nicknames of Major League Baseball players, both past and present, that have stuck with me over the years. Or in Pablo Sandoval’s case, since 2008. Feel free to try and argue that Ivan Rodriguez is in fact, the real Pudge.

Carlton Fisk – “Pudge”: The original Pudge. The other Pudge looks like a lesbian anyway.

Pete Rose – “Charlie Hustle”: The inspiration for the widespread neg-burns trend of the 80s never took a play off. Probably a safe bet modern Pete no longer hustles. And you could comfortably say he’s let himself go a bit.

Joe DiMaggio – “Joltin’ Joe”: This one sticks out for me because that “Joltin’ Joe Di-Mag-gio” song on Seinfeld got stuck in Kramer’s head, and then in mine.

Ozzie Smith – “The Wizard”: Well deserved nickname for the defensive maestro with the crowd-pleasing, trademark backflip. If a Gramatica brother tried this maneuver, they’d end up in a full body cast:

Reggie Jackson – “Mr. October”: Knighted with a nickname for playing amazing when it counted the most? Doesn’t get much better than that.

Ray Knight – “Mr. Nancy Lopez”: I’m guessing this is no longer Ray’s nickname, but it was certainly a classic while it lasted.

Fred McGriff – “The Crime Dog”: McGruff the Crime Dog valiantly fought crime, McGriff the Crime Dog courageously fought off nasty pitches; both carried themselves with class. It’s a perfect match.

Lenny Dykstra – “Nails”: Now more commonly known as “Nude Lenny,” he played with reckless abandon on the field and currently feeds us at least one ridiculous story a week.

Ken Griffey, Jr. – “The Kid”: Every time I hear this nickname it reminds me of his Upper Deck rookie card. Great career, but rather than paying for a nice car, his rookie card is only good for a few bags of Swedish fish. To this day, Buck Showalter hates The Kid for wearing his hat backwards. It should be noted that Showalter hasn’t been laid since 1991.

Pablo Sandoval – “Panda”: This name was originally given to the portly slugger by Barry Zito after the movie “Kung Fu Panda” came out. Zito’s funny, he’s just not a very good pitcher. And if Pablo’s a Panda, what’s Prince Fielder? I’m going with Hungry Hungry Hippo.

Justin Smoak – “The Smoak Monster”: Any nickname honoring Lost works for me. The relationship between the Smoke Monster and Mr. Eko Adebisi was too short-lived.

Tim Lincecum – “The Freak”: Describes him perfectly but “Big Time Timmy Jim” is a close second thanks to an awesome “This Is SportsCenter” commercial.

Dennis Martinez – “El Presidente”: Huge marketing opportunity missed here by the former pitcher and Presidente beer. More on this from Darren Rovell later today.

Lance Berkman – “Fat Elvis”: He’s also “Big Puma,” but since he excelled in fatness and falling on the Yankees, he’ll always be “Fat Elvis” to me.

Sean Casey – “The Mayor”: This guy talked to every player that arrived at first base like he had a bucket of wings and bottomless beers sitting in front of him. Everyone loves Sean Casey.

Shane Victorino – “The Flyin’ Hawaiian”: Whether you’re a fan of Shane Victorino or he annoys you to no end, this is just a great nickname.

Randy Johnson – “The Big Unit”: His first name is Randy, his last name is Johnson and his nickname is “The Big Unit.” For those of us with the maturity level of an 8th grader — and there are many of us — we say thank you.

Mitch Williams – “Wild Thing”: One of the most fitting nicknames ever given to a baseball player. Ricky Vaughn should be honored to share this one with Mitch and his mullet.

Frank Thomas – “The Big Hurt”: It’s pretty simple, Frank Thomas was 6’5″ and weighed 275 pounds.

Ryan Braun – “The Hebrew Hammer”: This name really belongs to Adam Goldberg, but it’s so great that if it can apply to a professional athlete, it should.

Lou Piniella – “Sweet Lou”: Unfortunately I only know one person named Lou, but I absolutely call him Sweet Lou.

Dwight Gooden – “Doc”: His nickname was so powerful he hasn’t been referred to as Dwight in decades unless you count police reports.

David Ortiz – “Big Papi”: Similar to Doc, I’m pretty sure his driver’s license even says Big Papi.

Oil Can Boyd: Has anyone ever called him Dennis? I honestly don’t think it’s ever happened.

Mariano Rivera – “Mo”: Simple, effective and fittingly without flair, much like Mo’s classy presence on the mound.

I was not previously aware of this, but Miguel Batista’s nickname is “Beluga Tits“? Outstanding.

[Photo via Getty]