Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries’ Ostentatious Wedding Registry
All, Athletes and Celebrities June 14th. 2011, 1:22pm
You obviously don’t care, but in the event you’d like drop a nice chunk of change and receive (probably) a form-Thank You card from a chick with a sex tape, knock yourself out.
Among the pretentiousness:
- a salad serving spoon for $880
- a jam jar for $380
- a $920 pitcher
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June 14th, 2011 at 1:24 PM
Buy your own shit fuckheads
June 14th, 2011 at 1:26 PM
That clock looks like a Lego with a watch trapped in it. What a piece of crap.
June 14th, 2011 at 1:26 PM
liquidate the both of them.
June 14th, 2011 at 1:26 PM
That reminds me: has anyone seen my jam jar?
June 14th, 2011 at 1:26 PM
Agree with Butters.
June 14th, 2011 at 1:27 PM
More baffling: The untraditional spelling of “Kris” or that he wears cargo shorts while swimming?
June 14th, 2011 at 1:28 PM
most baffling…they put all this on their registry and didn’t think “you know, this might be a tad much.”
June 14th, 2011 at 1:29 PM
I think I’m going to have a wedding registry at that place. There, Radio Shack, the 99 Cent Store and SkyMall
June 14th, 2011 at 1:29 PM
it’s a “celebrity” wedding, they are entitled to only the finest. Fuck em both.
June 14th, 2011 at 1:29 PM
I think Kim K broke Geary’s website. She must have sat down on their server.
June 14th, 2011 at 1:29 PM
How about instead of asking for useless crap they get wealthy guests to donate to a charity. Morons.
June 14th, 2011 at 1:29 PM
i’ll get you the pet stairs for your bed for your wedding gift.
June 14th, 2011 at 1:30 PM
She’s hot.
June 14th, 2011 at 1:30 PM
They don’t have any $880 salad serving spoons in stock, either they never existed or the recession is over
June 14th, 2011 at 1:30 PM
Fully expected this to link to Barry Zito
/worth, not contract size
June 14th, 2011 at 1:31 PM
What is a Cactus Flacon and why am I paying $450, plus shipping and tax for it? Wait… a $840 ASHTRAY? A vase equivalent in value to a down payment on a car?!?
June 14th, 2011 at 1:32 PM
How about instead of asking for useless crap they get wealthy guests to donate to a charity. Morons.
You are familiar with the cult of celebrity in the west, right? You understand that except for a few isolated examples, that no one who is at the center of anyone’s attention in this country has the slightest shred of human decency and does not care at all about anyone but themselves. Certainly this is knowledge in Canada as well. You’ll get more than 3 channels now, right?
June 14th, 2011 at 1:33 PM
Unrelated but I found this funny: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HFIQIpC5_wY
June 14th, 2011 at 1:33 PM
actually, something as cool sounding as “cactus falcon” would probably be worth $450.
June 14th, 2011 at 1:33 PM
gotta cover that cellulite.
June 14th, 2011 at 1:33 PM
It’s people like TBL that keep her around.
June 14th, 2011 at 1:34 PM
I cracked up imagining these two running around a store with the same type scanner the wife and I did at Crate and Barrel
June 14th, 2011 at 1:34 PM
This one gets me most of all. Does it go out and buy the ingredients and make the salad for you as well?
June 14th, 2011 at 1:35 PM
I think I’m going to have a wedding registry at that place. There, Radio Shack, the 99 Cent Store and SkyMall
I wanted to do something similar as a joke, but the wife didn’t think this was as funny as I did.
June 14th, 2011 at 1:35 PM
#humblebrag
June 14th, 2011 at 1:35 PM
I have 2 weddings in the next month and I’m dreading getting gifts. Even a Cactus Falcon.
June 14th, 2011 at 1:36 PM
This one gets me most of all. Does it go out and buy the ingredients and make the salad for you as well?
What if it did?
June 14th, 2011 at 1:36 PM
Certainly this is knowledge in Canada as well. You’ll get more than 3 channels now, right?
Only when the moon is in the seventh house.
June 14th, 2011 at 1:36 PM
Also… they’re getting married on Halloween? I assume this was to save money and not get married during the busy season. They are obviously fiscally responsible.
/looks at registry again
//shakes fist at sky
June 14th, 2011 at 1:37 PM
Only when the moon is in the seventh house.
+universal healthcare.
June 14th, 2011 at 1:37 PM
We have four here now, don’t know about Geez.
June 14th, 2011 at 1:37 PM
I wanted to do something similar as a joke, but the wife didn’t think this was as funny as I did.
I’m pretty sure this is how things will turn out for me as well. But I am going to put some stupendously expensive bullshit on there along with the regualr stuff that people can actually buy
June 14th, 2011 at 1:37 PM
I think we should all chip in and get them 1500 thread count sheets, complete with stains from a homeless person on the sheets.
June 14th, 2011 at 1:37 PM
If someone invites me to their wedding and they are registered at crate and barrel I hope they enjoy their napkin rings.
June 14th, 2011 at 1:37 PM
If there’s anybody out there who can’t get enough Dirk right now, here’s a story from der spiegel.
If you want a brief synopsis: Dirkules, Dirkules!!
June 14th, 2011 at 1:37 PM
Yes. It buys them from Whole Foods and Dean & Delucca. Your grocery bill will be approximately as much as the spoon.
June 14th, 2011 at 1:38 PM
Yeah, but I don’t think it was quite the same:
Me – “I really want this crystal bar set.”
Wife – “It’s too expensive, just keep stealing pint glasses from the bar.”
June 14th, 2011 at 1:38 PM
#humblebrag
Hey we couldn’t normally afford to shop there, so why not try and get the good stuff this way?
/sips coffee out of C&B mug I didn’t want because it was too expensive
June 14th, 2011 at 1:38 PM
That would be pretty cool. I might just have to get myself a set, but unfortunately they’re out of stock.
June 14th, 2011 at 1:38 PM
complete with stains from a homeless person on the sheets
Then they can sue the homeless person because KK has no idea where he got pictures of himself fucking her. At least, that seems to me like the next logical progression for her life
June 14th, 2011 at 1:38 PM
I see someone isnt married. Free stuff is the only good part about getting married, besides the love and all, which isnt worth cash.
June 14th, 2011 at 1:39 PM
If someone invites me to their wedding and they are registered at crate and barrel I hope they enjoy their napkin rings.
The expensive stuff at Crate and Barrel is really for the aunts and uncles who feel guilty that they haven’t seen you in awhile anyway.
June 14th, 2011 at 1:39 PM
I want to have my next wedding at a micro-brewery, preferably at Dogfish Head or Ommegang.
June 14th, 2011 at 1:40 PM
We need more Goodfellas type weddings where the bridge\groom sit down and people hand them envelopes filled with $100 bills that go into a burlap sack.
June 14th, 2011 at 1:40 PM
Beware Crate and Barrel glassware. Their shit is cheaply made and totally overpriced.
June 14th, 2011 at 1:41 PM
If someone invites me to their wedding and they are registered at crate and barrel I hope they enjoy their napkin rings.
Unless they are complete assholes, they should also be registered at Target or BB&B.
June 14th, 2011 at 1:41 PM
Those Mav Championship hats are fucking hideous. They make Bobby Lou’s mask look just peaches.
June 14th, 2011 at 1:42 PM
We need more Goodfellas type weddings where the bridge\groom sit down and people hand them envelopes filled with $100 bills that go into a burlap sack.
It was a pillowcase, but otherwise yes I agree.
Just a little over 9 months until my wedding/hit the lottery of home appliance gifts day.
June 14th, 2011 at 1:43 PM
There are 8 different vases on this registry. EIGHT!
June 14th, 2011 at 1:43 PM
Just a little over 9 months until my wedding/hit the lottery of home appliance gifts day.
I got married almost a year ago, and I still am amazed at the Panini press and coffee pot we got.
June 14th, 2011 at 1:44 PM
There are 8 different vases on this registry. EIGHT!
Bitch likes flowers I guess.
June 14th, 2011 at 1:45 PM
There are 8 different vases on this registry. EIGHT!
She obviously doesn’t know that you don’t throw away the vase that the flowers come in.
June 14th, 2011 at 1:46 PM
Yeah, but I doubt you had a $48 butter spreader on your registry.
Functionally speaking, you can buy all the shit they asked for at Target for less than $100. But, if you have to get all snooty about it, then yeah, go with the $400 jam jar that you’ll only use to store blow.
June 14th, 2011 at 1:49 PM
I think the size of her ass makes it pretty clear the former will be getting a lot more work than the latter.
June 14th, 2011 at 1:49 PM
Free stuff is great for people WHO AREN’T MILLIONAIRES.
June 14th, 2011 at 1:49 PM
/marks calendar to go through the Humphries-Kardashian dumpster around Nov. 10th
June 14th, 2011 at 1:49 PM
I know what I’d put in a $400 jam jar: the fetuses of my human-animal cross breeds, like Goately.
/Dr. Krieger’d.
June 14th, 2011 at 1:50 PM
/relieved I’m not the only one that pilfers pint glasses from bars
June 14th, 2011 at 1:50 PM
Those Mav Championship hats are fucking hideous.
I like the Dirk logo shirts. I really only wear hats to mow the grass.
June 14th, 2011 at 1:51 PM
/relieved I’m not the only one that pilfers pint glasses from bars
I just assumed everyone does this at least a few times in their life.
June 14th, 2011 at 1:51 PM
The greatest thing to ever come from central Illinois since Andy Horonzy.
June 14th, 2011 at 1:51 PM
I’m sure Geary’s paid the 2 of them a nice sum to have their registry there. Think about all of the Gossip blogs that will link to it. It’s a great ad tool for the site. Just playing devil’s advocate here — but regardless of how much money you have, if someone paid you to have your wedding registry there you probably would.
June 14th, 2011 at 1:51 PM
The only request I have at my wedding is that captain Luke takes care of the booze.
Throw on some headphones.
June 14th, 2011 at 1:51 PM
That pitcher is so overpriced I bet Alyssa Milano has screwed it.
June 14th, 2011 at 1:52 PM
That pitcher is so overpriced I bet Alyssa Milano has screwed it.
Did you pay Tosh.o for that stolen joke?
June 14th, 2011 at 1:52 PM
And he clearly is still a fan of the extremely played out douchy “pants below the drawers” look. Wow is he cool…
June 14th, 2011 at 1:52 PM
The greatest thing to ever come from central Illinois since Andy Horonzy.
Skipping the 4th inning?! That’s fantastic.
June 14th, 2011 at 1:59 PM
If I were evil, I would link jar squatter, one of the most heinous thing I’ve ever seen on the internet.
June 14th, 2011 at 2:01 PM
What the difference between peanut butter and jam?…. I can’t peanut butter that jar up her ass where it belongs.
June 14th, 2011 at 2:05 PM
I still havent used the fondue pot or the ice cream maker and its been 3 years
June 14th, 2011 at 2:06 PM
Just seems excessive, doesn’t it? You live in Ben and Jerry’s country.
June 14th, 2011 at 2:07 PM
Just a little over 9 months until my wedding/hit the lottery of home appliance gifts day.
do not, and I repeat, do not put a bunch of piddly shit on there, like spatulas and what not. Put only high quality items, and the people who dont’ want to spend that kind of money will hit you with gift cards.
We got every spatula on the list, and the mayo spreader and all the dumbest junk. We didn’t get some of the good stuff, and we probably left $$$ on the table, letting people off for 14 bucks.
June 14th, 2011 at 2:07 PM
Fondue is overrated as hell, but why haven’t you used the home made ice cream maker? We nearly burned out the motor on my mother’s when I was growing up because we made it almost every single day of the summer.
June 14th, 2011 at 2:09 PM
Duly noted Dirt. Thanks.
June 14th, 2011 at 2:09 PM
I live around the corner from a Dairy Queen.. but I think if I were to put it to use, I’d make frozen yogurt or sorbet
June 14th, 2011 at 2:09 PM
Chris Humphries looks like Jimmy McNulty on Steroids.
June 14th, 2011 at 2:10 PM
One of the best parts about registering for gifts for your wedding is the 15% or 20% off you get on stuff you don’t get as gifts.
I was able to put a PS3 and Blu-rays on our wedding registry from Target (thanks honey!) and bought them at the discounted price with money we got as wedding gifts.
June 14th, 2011 at 2:10 PM
We got the Fondue pot and have used it once. Word of advice? You know you won’t use it, but let her put it on there anyway. Because I let her put that on there, I got to put the super nice pillow I wanted.
/Yeah I didn’t get the pillow
June 14th, 2011 at 2:11 PM
I was able to put a PS3 and Blu-rays on our wedding registry from Target (thanks honey!) and bought them at the discounted price with money we got as wedding gifts.
I wish I had thought of that.
June 14th, 2011 at 2:11 PM
News to me that I live in Ben and Jerry’s country… like what, the rest of the country doesnt have pints of B&J’s at their local grocery store?
June 14th, 2011 at 2:11 PM
Because I let her put that on there, I got to put the super nice pillow I wanted.
tell me more about this pillow. I love pillows.
June 14th, 2011 at 2:13 PM
Body pillows. I’m a big fan of body pillows.
June 14th, 2011 at 2:14 PM
tell me more about this pillow.
So like a billion down feathers outside a bag with MORE down feathers inside a pillow.
June 14th, 2011 at 2:14 PM
Body pillows. I’m a big fan of body pillows.
Do you like to dress them up and pretend they are people?
Yeah I don’t do that either.
June 14th, 2011 at 2:15 PM
You have the actual B&J stores though where you can get their ice cream like you would at a DQ. The entire northeast has them as I understand it. Think they are HQ’d in dirt’s home state of Vermont.
Wish I would have known this man. I got a pair of pillows on Amazon the other week, marked down from $95 to $15.99. They’re made from the NASA material. It forms to my head and I honestly have not slept better since I was a kid. They are amazing.
June 14th, 2011 at 2:15 PM
So like a billion down feathers outside a bag with MORE down feathers inside a pillow.
retail price? Down isn’t for me, I’m on teams memory foam and contour.
June 14th, 2011 at 2:16 PM
Never seen one before
June 14th, 2011 at 2:17 PM
Ben and Jerry’s doesn’t get much market penetration in Texas. The ice cream world down here is dominated by Blue Bell. I am sad for all of you who live in a state which does not have Blue Bell. You are missing out.
June 14th, 2011 at 2:18 PM
Here dirt. They’re only $21.99 now.
June 14th, 2011 at 2:18 PM
retail price? Down isn’t for me, I’m on teams memory foam and contour.
I think it was 220. I knew I wouldn’t get it, but I wanted to show her that the Fondue was frivolous.
June 14th, 2011 at 2:19 PM
We have Blue Bunny here in the Midwest, ms. I think it’s from Wisconsin.
June 14th, 2011 at 2:19 PM
I’m on teams memory foam and contour.
I don’t like NASA technology after I found out that they do testing on aliens
/Team Super 8
June 14th, 2011 at 2:20 PM
I’ve never stepped foot inside a Crate & Barrel. Just popped my Bed Bath and Beyond cherry last year. I guess I’m a late bloomer.
June 14th, 2011 at 2:21 PM
Here dirt. They’re only $21.99 now.
mine have to be contour and memory foam. That could be my bottom pillow, I guess. It all depends on the total height.
Memory foam eventually gets crushed though, even just by your head. So you always end up needing a new one.
I think it was 220
That’s a lot of gooses that must have given up their lives for your comfort. I’m shopping credit card points now for a new pillow.
June 14th, 2011 at 2:21 PM
We have Blue Bunny here in the Midwest, ms. I think it’s from Wisconsin.
I’m from WI… never heard of it.
June 14th, 2011 at 2:21 PM
We have Blue Bunny here in the Midwest, ms. I think it’s from Wisconsin.
We used to have Blue Bunny in parts of Texas. Been years since I’ve had it. It’s pretty decent. But Blue Bell, especially their Homemade Vanilla, is awe inspiring.
June 14th, 2011 at 2:22 PM
I just one-clicked two of those. Review coming in two days.
June 14th, 2011 at 2:22 PM
Dairy Queen>Ben Jerry>Cold Stone>Carvel>Blue Bunny
June 14th, 2011 at 2:23 PM
You have the actual B&J stores though where you can get their ice cream like you would at a DQ.
it’s expensive. But CJ lives in PA and is from Maine. At no point was she in Ben and Jerry’s land. That’s all Vermont.
I’ve been on the factory tour. Oh, and there’s a ben and jerry’s store on 45th street in NY, just on the high west side of times square. It’s expensive, too.
June 14th, 2011 at 2:23 PM
getting married during football season. huge mistake.
June 14th, 2011 at 2:23 PM
I still like Eddy’s or Breyer’s for just store bought ice cream. I get the Half Baked, Phish Food or Caramel Clusters from B&J when I’m really feeling some ice cream.
Actually, Trader Joe’s vanilla is really good. I really haven’t found anything at Trader Joe’s I dislike yet.
June 14th, 2011 at 2:23 PM
All of this talk about pillows reminds me that I’m still pissed the loser who sold me my new bed didn’t throw in a couple free fucking pillows.
June 14th, 2011 at 2:24 PM
Wow. Blue Bunny is from Iowa. How did I not know that? Loss of points for this Hawkeye.
June 14th, 2011 at 2:25 PM
shit yeah it is. vanilla is moving up quickly on my favorite ice cream list.
June 14th, 2011 at 2:25 PM
All of this talk about pillows reminds me that I’m still pissed the loser who sold me my new bed didn’t throw in a couple free fucking pillows
You bought a used bed? Or just the frame. I hope it was just the frame.
June 14th, 2011 at 2:25 PM
Me too. Like SC said, got one of these a little while ago and it’s helped me sleep a lot better.
June 14th, 2011 at 2:25 PM
Yup. I grew up in Gifford’s country. Num Num Num.
June 14th, 2011 at 2:26 PM
I just one-clicked two of those. Review coming in two days.
they had a contour one, so I’m down for two, plus a dog bone neck pillow. Mine won’t get here in two days though.
June 14th, 2011 at 2:26 PM
I’ll vouch for them King of the Elephants. Had ‘em for a month. They’ve been so great. Got a 600 threadcount set of cotton sheets for the summer, too. I think my total order was like $80.
June 14th, 2011 at 2:26 PM
shit yeah it is. vanilla is moving up quickly on my favorite ice cream list.
I constantly get shit on for preferring vanilla to chocolate ice cream. People don’t know what they’re missing. I agree if you buy the generic store-brand stuff it taste like frozen milk and is nothing special… but the good stuff is amazing.
June 14th, 2011 at 2:27 PM
I constantly get shit on for preferring vanilla to chocolate ice cream.
Mint Chocolate Chip from Land O’ Lakes
June 14th, 2011 at 2:28 PM
I prefer vanilla ice cream as well. But when I order malts, shakes or stuff like that, it’s all chocolate. The protein shake I had today was vanilla and it was horrible. The chocolate one I had over the weekend was quite tasty.
June 14th, 2011 at 2:29 PM
/team vanilla
June 14th, 2011 at 2:29 PM
I go Amazon Prime…I order a shit ton of stuff, and never worry about minimums.
June 14th, 2011 at 2:29 PM
We probably all look the same to you, eh?
June 14th, 2011 at 2:30 PM
/team vanilla for milk shakes, protein shakes, shake weights, everything.
June 14th, 2011 at 2:31 PM
Scoop of chocolate, scoop of vanilla. Don’t waste my time.
June 14th, 2011 at 2:31 PM
Oh man, vanilla is light years ahead of chocolate. I’d even take strawberry over chocolate. Not the fake strawberry, but the real strawberry with strawberry chunks in there.
June 14th, 2011 at 2:31 PM
One of the best discoveries ever. My stuff usually gets here next day because there’s an Amazon warehouse right in Chicago. I got it free for a year for being a student, too.
June 14th, 2011 at 2:33 PM
Oh man, vanilla is light years ahead of chocolate.
Right? But it seems like whenever I tell that to people they look at me like I have a third eye and assume I’m a boring/bland dude who’s lazy in bed. I demand we squash this ice cream preference stereotype! I’ll enact some legislation.
June 14th, 2011 at 2:33 PM
Blue Bunny, the pride of LeMars, Iowa. I will be passing through there is a new weeks.
June 14th, 2011 at 2:34 PM
that is my #1.
June 14th, 2011 at 2:35 PM
Blue Bunny’s Moose Tracks ice cream is where it’s at.
June 14th, 2011 at 2:35 PM
Absolutely agree. Good Vanilla>real strawberry>chocolate
June 14th, 2011 at 2:35 PM
I go Amazon Prime…I order a shit ton of stuff, and never worry about minimums.
I can always kick in vacuum cleaner bags, or a case of diapers. I’m always in need of something.
June 14th, 2011 at 2:37 PM
Dirt, diapers are cheaper on amazon?
June 14th, 2011 at 2:42 PM
Dirt, diapers are cheaper on amazon?
much, much, much. They put diapers dot com out of business almost.
You can sign up for monthly delivery and get 15% off of amazon’s price, which is usually 3 or 4 less per case than diapers dot com. 41.99 for a case of size 6′s (we use pamper cruisers) and if you sign up for the monthly delivery, which you still have to consent to or put off, you can get 15% more off every time.
It’s good, and you just open the door and the UPS guy hands them to you. Wipes, too.
June 14th, 2011 at 2:43 PM
37.69 is what I paid for my last case.
June 14th, 2011 at 3:23 PM
We still have numerous items left on our registry at Williams-Sonoma, Macy’s and bb and beyond.