ESPN Book: Dana Jacobson on the Night She Drank Vodka From the Bottle at the Mike & Mike Roast
Remember when Dana Jacobson got drunk at the Mike & Mike roast in Atlantic City in January 2008? She drank vodka from the bottle on stage and was suspended for a week. An Atlantic City newspaper quoted her as saying, “F Notre Dame, F Touchdown Jesus.” Here’s her take on the incident from the ESPN Book (which just arrived today).
My biggest thing that I have stood firm on is I just don’t like the fact that people think I “cursed jesus.” That I was drunk? Fine. That I was inappropriate? Yeah. That I was at a level of out of control that I shouldn’t have been at a work-sponsored roast? You Bet. I made a fool of myself. I embarrassed myself. I embarrassed the company. But I did not curse Jesus!
…
I got some nasty mail; there were a lot of phone calls. It was not a bright, shining spot of my career. The following Monday, when I came back to work, I did an apology on the air that I wrote – a lot of people think it was written for me; it wasn’t, I wrote it.
ESPN Book: pages 636-637
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64 Responses to “ESPN Book: Dana Jacobson on the Night She Drank Vodka From the Bottle at the Mike & Mike Roast”
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May 19th, 2011 at 11:33 AM
She was speaking for all of us, you just keep on keeping on Jacobson
May 19th, 2011 at 11:35 AM
That I was at a level of our of control that I shouldn’t have been at a work-sponsored roast? You Bet. I made a food of myself.
ESPN needs a better editor…
May 19th, 2011 at 11:35 AM
I really hope that was an email or text message replica, because there is some improper grammar and spelling, which shouldn’t get by editors.
May 19th, 2011 at 11:35 AM
Damnit, RealAC!
May 19th, 2011 at 11:36 AM
Asking yourself rhetorical questions is like wearing white pants after Labor Day.
May 19th, 2011 at 11:36 AM
Damnit, RealAC!
A for effort
May 19th, 2011 at 11:37 AM
is it really drinking from the bottle when there’s a spout on the end of the bottle?
weaksauce, Dana.
/i’d hit it
May 19th, 2011 at 11:38 AM
if Dana Jacobson was a food, what would she be?
I’m thinking she’d be on the Jack Daniel’s TGIFriday menu.
May 19th, 2011 at 11:38 AM
Hey, Dana! If you were a hot dog…and you were starving, would you eat yourself?
May 19th, 2011 at 11:38 AM
Was she drunk when she wrote that?
May 19th, 2011 at 11:39 AM
Does Duffy call Dana Jacobsen the most important sportscenter anchor of the last 20 years b/c she went to Michigan?
May 19th, 2011 at 11:39 AM
A watermelon soaked in Vodka.
/summer can get here any day now
May 19th, 2011 at 11:39 AM
ESPN Book: page 636-637
Excuse me, that is not the proper Chicago/Turabian style of citation. This automatically knocks you down a letter grade.
/cracks knuckles.
May 19th, 2011 at 11:40 AM
COME ON
May 19th, 2011 at 11:40 AM
Hey, Dana! If you were a hot dog…and you were starving, would you eat yourself?
It’s a simple question doctor: If the moon was made of BBQ’d spare ribs, would you eat it? I know I would. And I’d polish it off with a tall, cool Budweiser.
May 19th, 2011 at 11:41 AM
No, it’s Rich Eisen.
May 19th, 2011 at 11:42 AM
Trey Wingo did, I trust his judgment and thus will not judge you for this
May 19th, 2011 at 11:42 AM
I bet she’s a tomcat in the sack.
May 19th, 2011 at 11:43 AM
Thinking Touchdown Jesus is actually Jesus is like considering Father Guido Sarducci is really a priest.
May 19th, 2011 at 11:45 AM
“I am not sure why it’s called Hamburger Helper. It does pretty good all by itself”
/Cousin Eddie
May 19th, 2011 at 11:45 AM
Kornheiser:
“Look, I know that Mike Tirico is smart and funny and as quick if not quicker than I am. I admire and respect him, but it killed me that he had none of that for me.
“After many conversations, I came to believe that he had little respect for sportswriters and remembers all the sportswriters who wrote bad shit about him. He loves it when sportswriters get something wrong. And I felt he put me in that group, because I’m part of them.
It wasn’t that I was right and he was wrong. We just couldn’t agree. I had a lot of conversations with [Jay] Rothman and [John] Walsh and some even with Norby [Williamson], and I’ll admit I would get upset. I said, “He’s killing me, and it keeps happening.” They would say, “We’ve talked to him, and it’s going to get better,” but it never did.
He was doing it deliberately; anybody with eyes could see it. He just wouldn’t engage me.”
May 19th, 2011 at 11:45 AM
/i’d hit it
COME ON
which part of her?
May 19th, 2011 at 11:46 AM
God damnit.
May 19th, 2011 at 11:46 AM
I am betting she was exploring her sexuality.
May 19th, 2011 at 11:46 AM
I bet she is like warm apple pie…
May 19th, 2011 at 11:47 AM
I bet she farts during coitus
May 19th, 2011 at 11:47 AM
TBL, will you post more excerpts throughout today and the next few?
May 19th, 2011 at 11:47 AM
maybe i will take this book out from the library afterall if there’s more recent stuff in it.
May 19th, 2011 at 11:48 AM
Wingo looks so happy in the background
May 19th, 2011 at 11:48 AM
cuz he knows it’s a backdoor kind of night when she’s pounding the sauce like that.
May 19th, 2011 at 11:49 AM
I’m already hungover and now I have mental images of a naked Dana Jacobson farting during sex. Fuck all of you.
May 19th, 2011 at 11:49 AM
+1
May 19th, 2011 at 11:51 AM
I guess that’s why my friends call me Whiskers.
May 19th, 2011 at 11:51 AM
+1 more
May 19th, 2011 at 11:51 AM
F Notre Dame, F Touchdown Jesus. I curse Jesus.
May 19th, 2011 at 11:52 AM
SC, ever hear back from the Washington Officials Association guy? I sent a note telling him how great I thought it was that they took a stand on such a divisive and politically charged issue, and held strong against the pinkification of football. I even sent it in Hernia’s sarcasm font.
May 19th, 2011 at 11:53 AM
fresh pineapple is quite enjoyable as well
/love the lake
May 19th, 2011 at 11:54 AM
Haven’t heard anything, Lisk. I would have forgotten I even sent anything if you hadn’t mentioned it.
May 19th, 2011 at 11:54 AM
Michelle Beadle freely admits that she’s not a fan of Erin Andrews. “Everyone who knows me knows that,” she tells me
Bazinga.
May 19th, 2011 at 11:56 AM
that station wagon’s got a nasty backfire…
May 19th, 2011 at 11:56 AM
I’ve always wanted to do this. Is it easy? Like, do I just cut a hole in the sumbitch and pour a fifth in there?
May 19th, 2011 at 11:58 AM
RAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWRRRRRR!!
May 19th, 2011 at 11:58 AM
I’ve always wanted to do this. Is it easy? Like, do I just cut a hole in the sumbitch and pour a fifth in there?
You have to let it sit overnight in the fridge so it gets fully soaked into every crevice.
May 19th, 2011 at 11:58 AM
Yes. Give it a few hours, rotate it a few times. Its a panty dropper.
May 19th, 2011 at 11:59 AM
It’s pretty awesome. Easy way to get sloshed.
/also on team hangover
May 19th, 2011 at 11:59 AM
I bet she farts during coitus
This reminded me of Richard Pryor talking about his girlfriend queefing during sex. “I gave her a weird look, but women don’t get fazed during sex. She just cried out ‘It’s talking to you daddy!”.
May 19th, 2011 at 12:01 PM
do you use a whole fifth? how deep of a hole do you make?
May 19th, 2011 at 12:01 PM
and how to you cut into the sumbitch without making an alcoholic mess?
May 19th, 2011 at 12:02 PM
one of the few comedians who gets me to laugh just as hard every time i see their standups, no matter how many times i see them.
May 19th, 2011 at 12:03 PM
watermelon isnt a strong tasting fruit, imo. adding alcohol to it sounds pretty bad
May 19th, 2011 at 12:04 PM
cut it over a really large bowl.
May 19th, 2011 at 12:04 PM
Hysterical
May 19th, 2011 at 12:06 PM
nah, it’s good. we used to do this when I was bartending at a country club in undergrad. we’d set small bowls around the bars in the club just like we would with mixed nuts and pretzels…those old fuckers loved it. we’d also use rum instead of vodka sometimes.
May 19th, 2011 at 12:07 PM
Jewel has a sale on watermelons. Convenient.
May 19th, 2011 at 12:07 PM
we usually cut it up into cubes and soak it in a big sealable container. makes it more user friendly and creates delicious shots once all the fruit is gone.
May 19th, 2011 at 12:08 PM
It’s like my uncle always making me sit in his lap and telling him what i want under the tree. then finding out he’s not really a santa
out he wasn’t really santa.
May 19th, 2011 at 12:08 PM
cut it over a really large bowl.
Inject the vodka with a syringe, much less mess.
May 19th, 2011 at 12:38 PM
I wish she drank vodka all the time.
May 19th, 2011 at 12:39 PM
May 19th, 2011 at 12:40 PM
Just say yes and we’ll move on!
May 19th, 2011 at 1:09 PM
Well Jeez, Dana, congratulations on writing your own apology.
Odd thing to point out.
I have no problem with her apologizing and NOT losing her job at ESPN. But I can’t stand the mind-numbing double-standard that exists when the wrong person says something that is similarly offensive. Bottom line is “the powers that be” will pick and choose who they want to go to bat for in situations like these and who they want to discard. Juan Williams was fired at NPR for saying a heck of a lot less, IMO. More importantly, Dana Jacobson can explain what her intent was but all that really matters is how it’s perceived. At least that’s what “the powers that be” say when they want someone gone. When they don’t, not so much.
She was extremely fortunate to not lose her job; if for no other reason than embarrassing the network by acting like freakin’ longshoreman on stage. Look at that picture, for crying out loud! Either way, she’s easily replaceable on Sunday mornings.
May 19th, 2011 at 1:12 PM
TBL, just saw some release about ESPN winning the sports media company of the year award. Maybe if they had druken orgies at CBS they’d have a chance to win the same award.
May 19th, 2011 at 4:02 PM
A drunk Dana is still funny.
May 20th, 2011 at 8:57 AM
“F Touchdown Jesus”? I’m surprised that such “foodishness” didn’t get the dimwit fired. Basically I don’t give a … To the atheist, such language is just bad behavior.