Tony La Russa has been suffering from shingles for over four weeks and will not manage tonight’s game against the Cubs, as his condition has gotten progressively worse, particularly during day games because his right eye is extremely sensitive to light. GM John Mozeliak will address La Russa’s status later today.

Pirates 4, Dodgers 1 — The Pirates have been a running joke for pretty much everyone inside and outside of Pittsburgh for the better part of the last two decades. When you’ve been stuck on the losing end of things for 18 consecutive seasons, a constant showering of insults comes to be expected, so the fact that they find themselves with a record of 18-17 in the second week of May is pretty big news. Third baseman Neil Walker is nothing short of ecstatic. But it wouldn’t be the Pirates without a perfectly appropriate Pirates-like headline to accompany this feel-good news:

Only the Pirates can celebrate topping .500 and still manage to be the joke. If this were any other team, this headline about their emotional “in” would have been fixed first thing this morning. They get no respect:

Also, here’s renowned Adonis Zane Smith, who was unceremoniously thrown off the top of this post by Tony La Russa.

White Sox 8, Angels 0 — Edwin Jackson pitched seven shutout innings and retired five batters in a manner that required Hawk Harrelson to shout “he gone!” They also hit three balls over the outfield wall that required Harrelson to shout “you can put it on the booooooooooard, yiii-eeeeeeeeeessss!” Special thanks to MLB Network for providing us with all five strikeout calls and all three home run calls.

Rockies 2, Mets 1 — I enjoyed that in the top of the sixth inning with the bases loaded and the score tied 1-1, Chris Capuano stayed in to bat so he could strike out and end the threat. Would it be so wrong for the Mets to make an attempt to allow the potential for something fun to happen by pinch-hitting there? The answer is apparently YES. No fun allowed.

Reds 6, Astros 1 — Travis Wood had not been pitching that great as of late, but he’s made his last two starts against the Astros. Back-to-back confidence building opportunities will normally do the trick, and they have: 12 2/3 IP, 2 ER, 13 Ks. The Astros are the new Pirates.

A’s 7, Rangers 2 — The Rangers started the season 9-1, but have now lost 17 of 26. Is it time to freak out? At the very least, it’s time for at least three or four “What’s Wrong With The AL Champs?” headlines. Check out Trevor Cahill’s stats on the season. He’s been nothing short of sensational.

Brewers 4, Padres 3 — Zack Greinke struck out nine and gave up two runs in six innings of work in his highly anticipated home debut, but Yuniesky Betancourt won the night with a sick backhanded flip to Weeks to turn two.

Red Sox 2, Twins 1, 11 innings — For the second time in a little over a week, Carl Crawford valiantly brought Boston the game-winning hit, this time thanks to a double off the wall in the bottom of the 11th. So the question to “Red Sox Nation” is, do you like Carl Crawford yet? Is Carl Crawford officially a beloved member of the Sawx? Or do you still have fantasies of cheering on Jayson Werth while wearing a t-shirt that references his beard? On a separate note, Joe West’s name has been seen on Twitter far too much over the last 48 hours for an umpire. How great is it that he was immediately recognized at a Boston restaurant and booed out of the bar? Fantastic work:

Tigers 10, Blue Jays 5 — Austin Jackson and Victor Martinez beat the Jays all by themselves. Max Scherzer wasn’t anywhere near as dominant as he was against the Yankees last week, but he didn’t need to be against Brandon Morrow.

[Photo via Getty]