This Miami Heat Pep Rally Speech Really Exists
All, Kind of Gay, NBA, Video April 27th. 2011, 5:15pm
If you happened to be rooting for the Miami Heat before viewing this video and still find yourself pulling for them after taking in this bro-tastic victory for short films, you probably also perform a nauseating air guitar whenever Scott Stapp’s Marlins song graces the airwaves.
The host of this stirring rally cry is apparently Andres Gabriel Pita of Latin Urban Pop musical trio “Los Primeros,” who makes The Situation look like Robert F. Kennedy. The crafty editing here will inspire you to shave the skin off of your forearms and sprinke it into a snifter of cyonide.
[via With Leather]
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April 27th, 2011 at 5:19 PM
2 minutes and 12 seconds. That was all I could handle. Someone send this guy to Guantanamo.
April 27th, 2011 at 5:20 PM
White wristwatch. Not a good look, brah.
April 27th, 2011 at 5:22 PM
Bomb Cuba
April 27th, 2011 at 5:23 PM
Has the internet given rise to people like this, or have they always existed and I was blissfully unaware?
April 27th, 2011 at 5:23 PM
Hi, were the NHL and we have 2 Game 7′s tonight and one of the games features one of the biggest rivalries in sports.
April 27th, 2011 at 5:24 PM
Someone’s been dipping into the cocaina
April 27th, 2011 at 5:24 PM
they’ve always been around. be thankful for your ignorance, i’ve run into a few in my time.
April 27th, 2011 at 5:24 PM
Next thing you’ll tell me is some Magic fans made a Fear the Beard website…
April 27th, 2011 at 5:25 PM
I’ve been busy mourning all day. Gimme a minute. I’ll send CRM some links.
April 27th, 2011 at 5:27 PM
Longer than I lasted. Who does a Chuckwagon impression while saying “terrible” instead of “turrible”??? I mean, come on, really?
April 27th, 2011 at 5:27 PM
Fantastic. I hate the draft, but I like that Ricky Stanzi is about to be turned into a Hall of Famer here.
April 27th, 2011 at 5:29 PM
2 minutes and 12 seconds. That was all I could handle. Someone send this guy to Guantanamo.
I only made it 27 seconds. But shouldn’t his jersey say “El Heat” ?
April 27th, 2011 at 5:30 PM
Current state of NHL fans: Insufferable
April 27th, 2011 at 5:30 PM
I got through 1:12. Someone call 911 though because there is now a sharp pencil lodged midway into my cerebellum
April 27th, 2011 at 5:31 PM
I just can’t imagine what would compel someone to do something like this. I’m terribly vexed.
April 27th, 2011 at 5:31 PM
I bet the Blackhawks last night. That sucked.
April 27th, 2011 at 5:32 PM
Quick everyone spit on Roger McDowell
http://hardballtalk.nbcsports.com/2011/04/27/gloria-allred-claims-braves-pitching-coach-roger-mcdowell-made-shocking-gay-slurs-to-fans-at-att-park/
April 27th, 2011 at 5:32 PM
Comment 6 could have something to do with it
April 27th, 2011 at 5:33 PM
Not really.
/puts another tally under the SC column
//realizes you have to have one to qualify for “another”
April 27th, 2011 at 5:33 PM
April 27th, 2011 at 5:33 PM
As much as I’m not a big fan of Stanzi… I’m not sure I think he’s any worse than Ponder/Gabbert/Mallett or any other QB that we keep talking about ahead of him. If I was a team needing a QB, I’d much rather use a 3rd on Stanzi, than a 1st/2nd on any of those other guys, including Cam Newton.
Aren’t the odds that Cam Newton fails miserably about the same as with Stanzi, depending on system/coach/talent around him?
April 27th, 2011 at 5:36 PM
Michael Wilbon makes my ears bleed. Fuck that guy.
April 27th, 2011 at 5:36 PM
Stanzi has one thing going for him… he’s accurate. Doesn’t have a big arm though. People liked his footwork at the combine. He’s a leader, though.
I think you could do a lot worse than Rick in the 3rd or 4th round. Put him with Harbaugh and I think you’ve potentially got something. I’ll root for the guy no matter where he lands.
April 27th, 2011 at 5:38 PM
Preds are in the 2nd round, Miz. You and WWOS could get along swimmingly on a bandwagon Cup run. Plenty of seats available. I just sat down on it this morning.
April 27th, 2011 at 5:39 PM
I feel like accuracy and footwork are more important than arm. People dont mention this much, but Tom Brady hasn’t completed a pass over 7 yards in the air since 2005 (not confirmed by me). My two favorite QB’s are Stanzi and Dalton this year. I was really impressed by Dalton against WI. Gabbert and his 16-9 TD-INT this year isn’t exactly overwhelming me…
April 27th, 2011 at 5:39 PM
I was reading…
… and immediately thought of the Niners, and then kept reading and got to…
That was scary.
/takes immediate shower
April 27th, 2011 at 5:39 PM
Oh come on, TBL. Game 7s are definitely worthy of opening that show. Wilbon is a Chicago guy. You aren’t that surprised.
April 27th, 2011 at 5:40 PM
My seats are for game 6, in section 330.
/50-50 that game won’t even get played.
April 27th, 2011 at 5:41 PM
living in Michigan is why I’ve never been able to get into hockey.
April 27th, 2011 at 5:42 PM
Shocking Gay Slurs = “Are you guys a homo couple or a threesome?”
Me thinks they might have sensationalized their headline a tad
April 27th, 2011 at 5:43 PM
I think it could easily go to 6 or 7.
April 27th, 2011 at 5:44 PM
he was soooo terrible as a junior. Like Kirk Cousins bad. I was impressed by how much more accurate he became by his senior year.
April 27th, 2011 at 5:45 PM
/high fives Jose
Hockey Tonk! Go Preds!
April 27th, 2011 at 5:45 PM
I’ve actually been on the Preds wagon 3-4 years now… it’s very tough to attach yourself to a sport in a new city (eg still can’t root for the Titans, at all). Considering the ownership changed, there were money issues, and they have to nearly give away tickets to keep attendance numbers up, they have done pretty well for 10+ years now, despite no second-round playoffs appearance. They far too little TV/newspaper coverage, and if they somehow won another series or two, they’d do a much better job selling out those Tuesday night games vs. Col/Stl.
I frankly figured they’d have left town by now, and as much as it irks me to have Southern city hockey teams, I think that it could actually be a pretty good hockey town with some effort. Interesting to see if the owners really try to capitalize, or if they still want to move back to Canada.
April 27th, 2011 at 5:48 PM
They might be in a new division next year, WWOS. Been seeing a lot of this Thrashers to Winnepeg stuff today. If that happens, I wouldn’t be surprised if Nashville was the team that moved to the SE Division and the Winnepeg team was put in the NW with Minnesota moving to the Central.
April 27th, 2011 at 5:49 PM
I can’t see Nashville moving back to Canada, they seem far too established there now. Plus, there’s really no where to move them at the moment – Winnipeg’s taken by two franchises apparently.
April 27th, 2011 at 5:51 PM
I could see this, depending on a) how the canucks come out tomorrow (not worried about this) and b) how Rinne plays (hard to tell).
The Red Wings/Sharks series should be fun too.
April 27th, 2011 at 5:52 PM
Plus, there’s really no where to move them at the moment – Winnipeg’s taken by two franchises apparently.
Kansas City? Aren’t they clamoring for a tenant in their new arena? That would just be taking a problem and moving it to a different location that will yield the same results though.
April 27th, 2011 at 5:52 PM
That whole division, save for the Canucks, is fucking awful. Those 24 games a year for Vancouver are nice for them.
April 27th, 2011 at 5:53 PM
It would suck to lose the Detroit rivalry. It’s amazing how many Detroit natives live in TN, and it’s always a fun game to play the wings.
PS I think they were franchised to Nashville, I just meant that I’d like to see the Phoenix/Atlanta teams move to Canada, and let Nashville capitalize on the strange country music connection to hockey
/Carrie Underwood for NHL commish
//couldnt do any worse
April 27th, 2011 at 5:54 PM
Preds lose in 5, unless he gets his mojo back. Even still, it’s gonna take a heck of a coaching job to keep them in the series.
April 27th, 2011 at 5:56 PM
True, and given that Minn, Edmonton and Calgary are all going to be in a state of re-building the next few years, it probably won’t get much better for the time being. But, that being said, there are a number of rivalry games there that add a little bit to some of these games.
Right now, I couldn’t care less though. Its all about last night, and the Preds tomorrow night.
April 27th, 2011 at 5:57 PM
This is unquestionably where you have the largest advantage. Trotz is a great coach. Vigneault started his back up over a $10M a year franchise goaltender in a playoff game.
Control that neutral zone and you can beat the Canucks. It’s why they were so great last night against Chicago. Absolutely no room to operate for the Hawks forwards. Trotz has the players on his roster to do so.
April 27th, 2011 at 5:58 PM
Can’t wait, looking forward to it. Sharks took 3 of 4 during the regular season, but that all gets thrown out the window starting Friday. Detroit is a whole other beast in the playoffs, I’m definitely nervous.
April 27th, 2011 at 5:59 PM
As long as the Sharks throw their weight around, it’ll be a good series I think. They seemed pretty motivated (for the most part) against LA.
April 27th, 2011 at 6:00 PM
You beat them in 5 last season, BB. Not much on either roster has really changed. In fact, you upgraded your goaltender since then.
I’ll take the Sharks shaking the Wings hands in 6 at the Joe. Pavel is going to have to find his way in Thornton’s head for the Wings to win. He’s definitely capable, but I like the Sharks.
April 27th, 2011 at 6:02 PM
That’s a big ‘if’ – this has been the Canucks gameplan every game this year, with their defence putting on a ton of pressure and making fast transitions through the neutral zone. Why they stopped for a couple of games there is a mystery. Thankfully one that doesn’t have to be answered anymore.
April 27th, 2011 at 6:04 PM
SC – I know we did, but this is the Sharks we’re talking about. I’ve got years and years of letdowns when they “should” have been able to move on…
Unless Howard (DET’s G right?) channels his inner Quick, the Sharks should be all right. They were playing pretty well and Quick kept that series going as long as he could.
April 27th, 2011 at 6:05 PM
Good lord I’m nervous. Come on you flightless birds! This and a beer should come my nerves for a nice walk to to the bar.
April 27th, 2011 at 6:05 PM
Hmm, why does this sound familiar?!
April 27th, 2011 at 6:05 PM
*calm my nerves
April 27th, 2011 at 6:05 PM
there’s your fuhkin hawkee post!
April 27th, 2011 at 6:06 PM
Going to need to solve it 12 more times. I’d cheer for the Wings if I was you too. That HTML line has the size to park in front of Borat much like Buff did last season. Jumbo isn’t quite as physical as Buff was, but he’s Jumbo for a reason.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go slip Brad Richards’ agent some heroin to see if he can sign here for under $6M a year.
April 27th, 2011 at 6:08 PM
Good lord I’m nervous. Come on you flightless birds! This and a beer should come my nerves for a nice walk to to the bar.
THIS would be better…
April 27th, 2011 at 6:09 PM
Eh, so don’t let Ward/Legwand miss their checks or turnover the puck mid-ice? Be interesting to see if Erat/Geoffriyon/Fisher can get hot and be a top threat.
From what I see, Preds are at their best in ‘halfcourt’ set, and their defense isn’t nearly as good in transition or off turnovers. I’d say the same thing for their offense. Their scores seem to very often be off turnovers, or off rebounds. I don’t feel like they set up many goals with their passing, and they always manage to rush weak shots on goal and give the goalie easy saves.
April 27th, 2011 at 6:10 PM
Oh, and a healthy fuck you to British Columbia for producing Kyle Beach. An extremely talented hockey player that can’t stay out of bar fights. Hawks are shipping his ass out of here, heard that today. Not happy about that at all. We needed his size and physicality next season.
Stan is working with Corey’s agent already on a deal. That is the solace I’m taking from today. Bring back Frolik, Campoli, Stalberg as well and I’ll be a happy human. They’re looking at 2nd line centers, so I hope this heroin is strong enough to fuck up Richards’ agent for a long enough duration to sign him.
April 27th, 2011 at 6:12 PM
you know, i really like burberry scarves…just wish douchebags didn’t corner the market on em.
April 27th, 2011 at 6:13 PM
Crawford was unreal last night, and in Game six for that matter. Better than I ever saw Niemi play last year. That game could have been 3 or 4 nothing but he was just on his game the whole night (eating away at my nerves every step of the way!). It would be crazy to let him go, though I don’t know what the cap space is off hand.
April 27th, 2011 at 6:15 PM
$8,385,331.
Yeah, I memorized it. I also did some amateur math on the new TV deal and read the CBA part about that will affect the cap. My guess it we get an additional $3.2M league wide in cap space for all the teams. So, we’ve got about $11M to play with.
April 27th, 2011 at 6:18 PM
I gotta be honest… if two hockey teams move back to Canada, or the NBA contracts a team or two, I’m going to be pretty damn convinced that the best thing for the fans would be if the NFL lost a full season.
It’s like when your gf/wife messes up and she has to make it up to you. I could use a few years of the NFL dialing down the greedy bastard asshole theme a little bit.
April 27th, 2011 at 6:18 PM
Hilarious and awesome at the same time.
April 27th, 2011 at 6:18 PM
Yeah the Wings suck. They shouldn’t even bother showing up. Bunch of soft Europeans who are past their prime. Unclutch and unskilled for sure.
Sharks in 4.
April 27th, 2011 at 6:18 PM
Now if only the NHL/NBC made versus cheaper on cable, so it was in all the packages, it would get a lot more fans.
April 27th, 2011 at 6:21 PM
Don’t you try that reverse jinx bullshit vladdy, it ain’t happening up in here!
April 27th, 2011 at 6:25 PM
Those last $331 are the most important.
April 27th, 2011 at 6:32 PM
/points at recent past
Win the Cup this year, then you can talk alllllll the smack you want. I make make damn sure they mispell the Children of the Corn’s names though. Helen and Danielle preferably.
Go Preds!
April 27th, 2011 at 6:33 PM
I’m scared right now. Hold me.
April 27th, 2011 at 6:35 PM
LOL, is this today’s hockey post?
April 27th, 2011 at 6:38 PM
So far it has been, yes… lol
April 27th, 2011 at 6:38 PM
It’s all we got CJ! We got a post yesterday and didn’t put enough comments on it, so now we get the Detroit Pistons treatment.
April 27th, 2011 at 6:39 PM
Habs are gonna win tonight.
Price > Mr. Tim Tim
April 27th, 2011 at 6:41 PM
I’m rooting for Pit and Mtl, so with my luck Boston and TB will end up winning…
April 27th, 2011 at 6:44 PM
Tim Thomas will take your lunch and knock up your wife. He statue should be bigger than Bird’s in Boston. Legend.
April 27th, 2011 at 6:44 PM
Is that what you thought I was doing? Honestly, no smack here – just a lot of relief. Yesterday was huge but it by no means is the end for this team. They’ve said they had a bigger goal from the very beginning, and I’m not about to get into it because they won a first round series.
April 27th, 2011 at 6:47 PM
I suck at commenting from a phone. This is undeniable.
April 27th, 2011 at 6:48 PM
Tim Thomas will take your lunch and knock up your wife. He statue should be bigger than Kevin White’s
Bird’sin Boston. Legend/Giant statue near Quincy Market
April 27th, 2011 at 6:51 PM
Bolts will win tonight as well.
April 27th, 2011 at 6:52 PM
I said Go Preds, sir. That still stands.
We need some sort of abbreviation or a new handle for you too. I cannot spell out those letters and numbers. My suggestions would all be derogatory Canucks slangs (Tears of Luongo!) so you can come up with your own. Just make sure you email TBL so you don’t end up in moderation hell if you make a change.
April 27th, 2011 at 6:56 PM
Well bstr is close to bastard, and it would fit with his team knocking yours out…
/no offense bstr, lol
April 27th, 2011 at 6:58 PM
Fair enough, I probably wouldn’t be cheering for the Hawks if they had won (actually I probably would be turning off the tv and walking away from the playoffs for good!)
you could just use bstr and I’d get it. I’m not very good with coming up with handles.
April 27th, 2011 at 7:01 PM
hockey post! woot!
April 27th, 2011 at 7:01 PM
None taken, it’s a nonsense name from my online poker days, and couldnt’ be bothered to change it!
Although if I really was a ‘bastard’ I’d take this opportunity to link the OT goal from last night. Here’s to hoping for more of the same kind of games tonight. I think the Habs/Bruins might just be the one!