Colby Lewis Takes Paternity Leave. Dallas Writer Finds it “Ludicrous.”
Rangers starter Colby Lewis became baseball’s first player to take advantage of the new paternity leave rule, codifying a generally accepted practice to let players leave for 24-72 hours to witness the birth of a child. Richie Whitt, who writes the Dallas Observer’s Sportatorium Blog, is not a fan of the new rule.
In Game 2, Colby Lewis is scheduled to start after missing his last regular turn in the rotation because — I’m not making this up — his wife, Jenny, was giving birth in California. To the couple’s second child.
Don’t have kids of my own but I raised a step-son for eight years. I know all about sacrifice and love and how great children are.
But a pitcher missing one of maybe 30 starts? And it’s all kosher because of Major League Baseball’s new paternity leave rule?
Five or six innings of your baseball career or a special experience that happens a few times per lifetime (unless you’re Travis Henry)? The choice is obvious. This is April. Get your head in the game! You should also ignore your kid for a solid two to three weeks. Let them know the pecking order.
Baseball players are paid millions to play baseball. If that means “scheduling” births so they occur in the off-season, then so be it. Of the 365 days in a year, starting pitchers “work” maybe 40 of them, counting spring training and playoffs.
Definitely, these guys make millions of dollars a year. They owe us, personally. Only procreating at certain times of the year? Forcing their wives to undergo medical procedures at the rest of our convenience? The least we should expect.
If it was a first child, maybe. But a second child causing a player to miss a game? Ludicrous.
Ludicrous indeed! Once you get beyond the first one, they’re just free labor.
[Photo via Getty]

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155 Responses to “Colby Lewis Takes Paternity Leave. Dallas Writer Finds it “Ludicrous.””
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April 21st, 2011 at 1:49 PM
Richie Whitt, your punishment is: 5 kicks to the groin.
April 21st, 2011 at 1:49 PM
This killed me, as if what he was about to say would challenge the reader’s basis in reality
Wonder what he thought when Barry Bonds missed over a week of games after his dad died
April 21st, 2011 at 1:50 PM
I’m probably not the best person to ask since i just had a kid and I don’t play MLB … but massive logic fail, Mr. Whitt.
probably written by a 24-year-old kid with no life experiences who lives through sports.
April 21st, 2011 at 1:50 PM
Don’t have kids of my own but I raised a step-son for eight years.
Presumably the last 8 years before the kid went to college.
He and David Ferrer could be besties.
April 21st, 2011 at 1:51 PM
I think anybody who has ever watched their wife have a kid would agree with me that there isn’t another place in the world you’re supposed to be other than right there. That’s some hard fucking work.
I don’t mean to come off like a pussy (again) but it’s your offspring. Fuck work, even if work is baseball.
April 21st, 2011 at 1:51 PM
So he started raising that stepson when he was 16?
/Nobody reads the posts
April 21st, 2011 at 1:52 PM
I’m extremely disapointed that Rob Neyer defended this stance.
April 21st, 2011 at 1:52 PM
I actually thought the opposite. An old guy who doesn’t believe in paternity leaves and is divorced.
April 21st, 2011 at 1:53 PM
/ sets aside Thesaurus
// relaxes
April 21st, 2011 at 1:53 PM
Don’t have kids of my own
All I needed to read.
April 21st, 2011 at 1:53 PM
Pussy. Let the dead bury the dead.
April 21st, 2011 at 1:53 PM
I’ve read some stupid stupid things before in sports journalism, but that takes the cake.
Moe over Jemele Hill, Scoop Jackson, and Jason Whitlock.
April 21st, 2011 at 1:54 PM
Wow, just noticed.
/ coincidence
April 21st, 2011 at 1:54 PM
Wonder what he thought when Barry Bonds missed over a week of games after his dad died
And he was chasing the home run crown at the time! Unbelievable. Do you know how much money Bonds was being paid? He couldn’t schedule Bobby’s death a little better? Motherfucker
April 21st, 2011 at 1:55 PM
He’s a baseball player and gets paid millions! If he has to schedule deaths so they occur in the off-season then so be it.
April 21st, 2011 at 1:56 PM
I refuse to believe that this guy is serious.
April 21st, 2011 at 1:57 PM
If he has to schedule deaths so they occur in the off-season then so be it.
IIRC it was pretty close to the end of the season. He could have just told him to wait
April 21st, 2011 at 1:57 PM
The guy has to be trolling. That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. What a moron.
April 21st, 2011 at 1:58 PM
Hey guys, wait til you get a load of this one: I’ve got a co-worker that’s going to miss 6 weeks of work because she’s, wait for it, having a baby! WTF?
April 21st, 2011 at 1:58 PM
That’s not good. Neyer is better than that.
I thought MLB had been giving paternity leave for years now, too. I remember seeing a few years ago guys on my fantasy team get the DTD tag because they were off with the wife while she gave birth. I never had a 2nd thought after reading that was the case.
Be with your wife. They call these things “major life occurrences” when you’re filling out your tax papers and benefits for a reason.
April 21st, 2011 at 1:58 PM
You forgot to mention that other black dude.
April 21st, 2011 at 1:59 PM
The whole entry read like a shit stirring piece. It basically said the Rangers stink now because of the last few games and how Jason Witten would never miss a game for a birth. Dumb stuff.
April 21st, 2011 at 1:59 PM
What you mean it’s her third child?? Ludicrous!
April 21st, 2011 at 2:00 PM
Ever since Mariotti disappeared from the say stupid shit to get people to notice you landscape there have been a buncha hacks trying to become the new dipshit.
April 21st, 2011 at 2:00 PM
A.) There is a way to obvious difference there and B.) It would still be none of my business.
They must have written this shit yesterday. Only way any of it makes sense
/wrong threaded
April 21st, 2011 at 2:00 PM
I refuse to believe that this guy is serious.
the guy writes for the Dallas Observer, so it’s not like he’s an authority on anything.
April 21st, 2011 at 2:00 PM
Stuart Scott.
/ boo-yah!
April 21st, 2011 at 2:00 PM
My thoughts exactly. I cannot imagine missing any of my kids being born – would have regretted it for the rest of my life. I can’t even imagine what it was like when fathers had to sit in the waiting room.
April 21st, 2011 at 2:01 PM
Only if they go to the NFL combine.
April 21st, 2011 at 2:01 PM
Some QB wife did this last season if memory serves, had the procedure scheduled for mid-week…part of Phil Rivers’ brood maybe?
April 21st, 2011 at 2:01 PM
it’s always about slavery with you…
April 21st, 2011 at 2:01 PM
TBL: Would you say the same if Sanchez missed the AFC Championship game to tend to the birth of his child?
April 21st, 2011 at 2:02 PM
Thats why she makes %80 of a man.
April 21st, 2011 at 2:02 PM
Then why are you telling somebody else what they should do during the birth of their child?
April 21st, 2011 at 2:02 PM
i like that Neyer clearly states there’s a difference between human being and baseball fan.
none of our business to know the reasons behind his decisions to exercise his right to take time off, and certainly not our right to question or demand he does otherwise.
April 21st, 2011 at 2:02 PM
Somewhere Shawn Kemp is wondering how to get his title back.
April 21st, 2011 at 2:02 PM
People – believe it or not – also can take a few days off when a family member is sick. Get your head in the game! You’re in the middle of a pennant race!
April 21st, 2011 at 2:02 PM
I was just gonna say, sounds like he’s auditioning for Around The Horn here
April 21st, 2011 at 2:02 PM
What if we’re talking about your favorite NFL team’s quarterback? Do you want him skipping Sunday’s big game to attend the birth of his third child? Yeah? What if it’s the Super Bowl?
you forgot some caveats. It’s his wife’s 9th child, and he’s not even sure if the baby is his.
April 21st, 2011 at 2:02 PM
I’m extremely disapointed that Rob Neyer defended this stance
After his weird outrage over the Orioles offseason I’ve taken less stock in what he says
April 21st, 2011 at 2:03 PM
I think only parents and spouses are allowed in the room if the mother is under 18.
April 21st, 2011 at 2:03 PM
What’s next? Is a pitcher going to miss a scheduled start on Yom Kippur because he’s “Jewish”? These fucking spoiled athletes today are ruining everything
April 21st, 2011 at 2:04 PM
i felt pretty useless the first couple weeks with our first child. my job was to hold the baby if he was awake and fussy and she needed to shower or use the toilet. I rather have been at work. now the 2nd kid? all hands on deck.
April 21st, 2011 at 2:04 PM
No, no, no. The one that says Legggooo on Twitter.
April 21st, 2011 at 2:05 PM
(unless you’re Travis Henry)?
Somewhere Shawn Kemp is wondering how to get his title back.
Antonio Cromartie would have a bone to pick with this but the bone is in some hoochie mama as we speak.
April 21st, 2011 at 2:05 PM
What kind of society are we living in when players take off for stupid shit like “birth of a child” or “death of a loved one”?! Three finger Mordecai Brown once pitched a double header when his wife was giving birth to quintuplets, and that was with his team already 35 games out!
April 21st, 2011 at 2:05 PM
but to question someone about this is silly and retarded.
April 21st, 2011 at 2:05 PM
Damn it Steinberg! Take that hat off in my class!
April 21st, 2011 at 2:05 PM
if it were a member of the mets, would anyone notice?
April 21st, 2011 at 2:06 PM
In other words, somewhere Shawn Kemp is reproducing.
April 21st, 2011 at 2:06 PM
Newspaper troll jobs have been very effective as of late.
April 21st, 2011 at 2:06 PM
I fucked my way into this mess and I’ll fuck my way out of it.
April 21st, 2011 at 2:06 PM
Zack Morris is gonna use that excuse to go to a Dodgers game. Oh the irony.
/Cleet’d
April 21st, 2011 at 2:07 PM
It speaks to a sense of entitlement many fans and sports writers have over athletes and their teams.
April 21st, 2011 at 2:08 PM
What the hell is a “met”?
April 21st, 2011 at 2:08 PM
Richie Whitt is on a bad sports station in Dallas, he’s known for his contrarian ways and yes he writes for the Observer, which is known for being free and it’s advertising escorts and massage parlors in the back. So take that into consideration. He sucks
April 21st, 2011 at 2:08 PM
I don’t roll on Shabbos!
April 21st, 2011 at 2:08 PM
It ain’t like the old days no more!
We can’t bust heads like we used to, but we have our ways. One trick is to tell ‘em stories that don’t go anywhere – like the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe, so, I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on ‘em. “Give me five bees for a quarter,” you’d say.
Now where were we? Oh yeah: the important thing was I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn’t have white onions because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones…
/ Grandpa’d
April 21st, 2011 at 2:09 PM
Yeah, he’s an easy target.
April 21st, 2011 at 2:09 PM
Ha.
April 21st, 2011 at 2:10 PM
he writes for the Observer, which is known for being free and it’s advertising escorts and massage parlors in the back
FWIW, I think the LA Weekly (our free rag) has done better journalism and probably won more awards than the LA Times over the last several years
April 21st, 2011 at 2:10 PM
My car gets 40 rods to the hogshead, and that’s the way I likes it!
April 21st, 2011 at 2:10 PM
What about Sanchez missing OTA to take his gf to the prom?
April 21st, 2011 at 2:11 PM
The year was Ninteen-Dickety-One, we had to use Dickety because the Kaiser had stolen our number two
April 21st, 2011 at 2:11 PM
i felt pretty useless the first couple weeks with our first child. my job was to hold the baby if he was awake and fussy and she needed to shower or use the toilet. I rather have been at work. now the 2nd kid? all hands on deck.
this is what people keep saying to me. “It’s more than twice as hard.” Sounds awesome.
April 21st, 2011 at 2:12 PM
You’re going to see more and more of this sort of crap from relatively unknown writers. It’s this simple; any publicity equals good publicity. And pageviews, don’t forget pageviews.
April 21st, 2011 at 2:13 PM
I don’t have any kids of my own but I did have a turtle called ‘Flash’,because I thought would be funny to give a fast name to something that was slow and turns out I was right, so I know the sacrifice it takes to be a parent or something like it. Nevermind that Flash died when I forgot to feed him…you think I missed a deadline? Hell no! I kept churning out nonsensical bullshit like it was my job because by golly it IS!
April 21st, 2011 at 2:13 PM
More likely he is at a Krispy Kreme right now but reproducing is the second most likely answer.
April 21st, 2011 at 2:13 PM
If I was a baseball player’s wife and decided to have kids, I, being the organized, slightly anal person that I am, would probably try to get pregnant so that I was having the baby in the offseason. I would want my husband to be home to bond with the baby and have time together as a family. That being said, this guy needs to shut the fuck up. This woman just carried a child for 9 months, the least her husband can do is show up to the birth.
April 21st, 2011 at 2:13 PM
And pageviews, don’t forget pageviews.
USA Today is scouting this guy as we speak
April 21st, 2011 at 2:14 PM
I used to be with it, then they changed what it was. Now what I’m with, isn’t it and what’s it seems weird and scary to meee. It’ll happen to yoooouuu.
April 21st, 2011 at 2:14 PM
I’m probably not the best person to ask since i just had a kid and I don’t play MLB … but massive logic fail, Mr. Whitt.
probably written by a 24-year-old kid with no life experiences who lives through sports.
Late to the show, but TBL, given that this was from the Dallas Observer, what you wrote is entirely possible. The Observer is a joke.
April 21st, 2011 at 2:14 PM
Well, Bomani Jones did make it on there doing this.
Zack has his hands full with Kelly atm.
April 21st, 2011 at 2:15 PM
People with kids arent doing a good job selling the whole ‘having kids’ thing to me. Just the other day at lunch these ladies were telling me how their first babies just ripped their vaginas apart. Yeah, sign me up for that.
April 21st, 2011 at 2:15 PM
I was thinking Fox News.
April 21st, 2011 at 2:17 PM
When I was laid off I stumbled upon an Oprah episode about the after effects of childbirth on women’s bodies. I was completely scarred for life.
April 21st, 2011 at 2:18 PM
Two still allows you to go “man to man” but when you get to three and above and have to play a “zone” it just gets a little more difficult.
/can’t remember what it’s like to have only one
April 21st, 2011 at 2:18 PM
Zack has his hands full with Kelly atm.
Zack and Kelly went ass to mouth? Sounds like they are a couple of George Wills in the bedroom.
/trying to make this a meme.
April 21st, 2011 at 2:18 PM
The worst.
April 21st, 2011 at 2:18 PM
Just the other day at lunch these ladies were telling me how their first babies just ripped their vaginas apart.
they sew it back up though. They don’t just leave you there, ruined. (although if your wife isn’t into sex subsequently, you know pretty quick. It’s like fucking a warm, rotten cucumber.)
April 21st, 2011 at 2:19 PM
piece of cake.
April 21st, 2011 at 2:19 PM
I’m abstaining from this bullshit. The day /Team Carosi died, a little bit of me died.
April 21st, 2011 at 2:19 PM
Just the other day at lunch these ladies were telling me how their first babies just ripped their vaginas apart. Yeah, sign me up for that.
Can you say “elective Caesarian Section”?
/it keeps everything tight down there.
April 21st, 2011 at 2:19 PM
MS how far is that wildfire in Amarillo from where you live?
April 21st, 2011 at 2:20 PM
A lot of the independent type of women think like this nowadays. Don’t blame you at all, but shouldn’t having a kid or not having be based more on living life first/finding the right person/ financial stablity rather what it does to your vagina??
April 21st, 2011 at 2:20 PM
(although if your wife isn’t into sex subsequently, you know pretty quick. It’s like fucking a warm, rotten cucumber.)
This might be the most depressing thing I’ve read in a month.
April 21st, 2011 at 2:20 PM
when you get to three and above
ouch. So many kids.
April 21st, 2011 at 2:20 PM
phones ringing dude.
thanks donny.
April 21st, 2011 at 2:21 PM
I call kids ‘Fuck trophies’..ex: “Oh, I see she has a car seat in her car for a fuck trophy, that tells me she puts out”
April 21st, 2011 at 2:21 PM
My lunch isn’t sitting so well what with all the ravaged vaginas that seem to keep popping up in here.
/vomits
April 21st, 2011 at 2:21 PM
Go on…
April 21st, 2011 at 2:21 PM
I’d say the difficulty rises exponentially. I have 3 kids and remember how easy 1 was. Now that they out number my wife and me, sleep is an after thought.
/No regrets about having kids
April 21st, 2011 at 2:21 PM
Probably the same people who don’t have kids because they’re “messy”.
April 21st, 2011 at 2:21 PM
This blog has ruined me. I thought atm meant “ass to mouth.”
April 21st, 2011 at 2:21 PM
MS how far is that wildfire in Amarillo from where you live?
Amarillo is several hours west of here, in the Panhandle. There’s a fire around the town of Palo Pinto which is closer than Amarillo…it’s about 3 hours west of Dallas.
April 21st, 2011 at 2:21 PM
/ record scratches
What?
April 21st, 2011 at 2:22 PM
The guy who wrote this is an asshole. Period.
April 21st, 2011 at 2:22 PM
It’s all about the rippin and the tearin…
April 21st, 2011 at 2:24 PM
Two still allows you to go “man to man” but when you get to three and above and have to play a “zone” it just gets a little more difficult.
This is the logic we are using, 2 of us, 2 of them.
April 21st, 2011 at 2:24 PM
It’s like fucking a warm, rotten cucumber.
Oh my. Dirt, let’s talk more about that Clint Eastwood movie on the mountain where he got at least one of his stunt guy’s killed. I’m just trying to change topics so stick with me here: I was pleased with the very generic 70s soundtrack that was composed by John Williams
April 21st, 2011 at 2:24 PM
During delivery of both my boys, the doctor made a perpendicular 3-4″ cut on the vagina for proper delivery. Yeah that was pretty tough to watch.
April 21st, 2011 at 2:24 PM
It’s called an episiotomy (sp).
April 21st, 2011 at 2:24 PM
Probably the same people who don’t have kids because they’re “messy”.
kids are so gross. They just let snot and boogers run out of their noses all over the place. They don’t care about poopy butts or grubby fingernaiils. And they think bathing is for squares. They’re good at kicking and fighting about the aforementioned things.
April 21st, 2011 at 2:25 PM
This thing can’t be real, cannot? FUCK THAT SHIT.
April 21st, 2011 at 2:25 PM
Well here’s the thing. Do I want to put my kids before my marriage? Do I want to still enjoy having sex with my husband? Do I still want to feel good about myself and the way I look so that I’m not depressed all the time? Half the people having kids aren’t looking at their finances or the stability of their relationships before getting pregnant. Heaven forbid a woman worry about the way her body is going to feel before she decides to have a kid.
April 21st, 2011 at 2:26 PM
Dude I already have the marriage/financial stability thing down. The only holdout for me is getting over what a kid will do to my body and giving up my life as I know it. It’s a huge hurdle for me.
April 21st, 2011 at 2:26 PM
Was expecting that link to be this
April 21st, 2011 at 2:27 PM
Oh my. Dirt, let’s talk more about that Clint Eastwood movie on the mountain where he got at least one of his stunt guy’s killed.
did a stunt man really die? I liked all the “light” racism and sexism. It was funny. Not a good movie, and poorly directed.
April 21st, 2011 at 2:27 PM
Wow.
Glad I’m a dude.
April 21st, 2011 at 2:27 PM
Was thinking about this as I hit submit.
April 21st, 2011 at 2:28 PM
I guess I am lucky I skipped that part. Went straight to the toddler stage.
April 21st, 2011 at 2:28 PM
According to Wikipedia:
Big, but not like the picture.
April 21st, 2011 at 2:29 PM
If that’s who i think it is, then no. That is not real. And as much as I love me some plump in the dumps… naw.
April 21st, 2011 at 2:29 PM
This guy is a legendary idiot
April 21st, 2011 at 2:30 PM
Just movin’ the needle.
April 21st, 2011 at 2:30 PM
And quite frankly, none of you fucking idiots with a penis should even THINK about critcizing a woman for worrying about having her vagina ripped to shreds during labor. Not a single one of you has any idea what it could possibly feel like to carry a fucking alien inside you for 9 months, go through excruciating pain pushing that alien out of you, then living for YEARS with the after effects of the alien being in your body.
April 21st, 2011 at 2:30 PM
Cool. Interesting perspective. I’ve always thought most girls would want to have a kid of their own at some point or another, but yeah, its a lot to consider. I still don’t know how teenagers can be careless enough to have kids at 16-20. Protect your dick.
I’m 22, but at least 5 of the people I know have had kids after highschool. why the fuck are you rushing??
April 21st, 2011 at 2:30 PM
I’m not afraid of a lot of things (Candaian national anthemr song by 20,000 drunk Canadians during the playoffs aside). But Jellyfish… oh motherfucker…..
April 21st, 2011 at 2:30 PM
I think I’m sophisticated
cos I’m living my life like a good homosapien
But all around me everybody’s multiplying
Till they’re walking round like flies man
So I’m no better than the animals sitting in their cages
In the zoo man
cos compared to the flowers and the birds and the trees
I am an ape man
April 21st, 2011 at 2:31 PM
Hear. Hear. + infinity
April 21st, 2011 at 2:31 PM
SG just won the Hater’s Ball for 2011 with that statement. Hate, hate, hate hate.
April 21st, 2011 at 2:31 PM
Such wonderful motherly advice.
April 21st, 2011 at 2:31 PM
Well said SG and you didn’t even have to use CAPS or swear.
April 21st, 2011 at 2:31 PM
Yeah, at least one of the guys died and another was seriously injured. When I was watching I kept thinking they were using a lot of miniatures and wondered about the stunts. It turns out it’s mostly filmed on location and Clint Eastwood actually did most of his own stuntwork
April 21st, 2011 at 2:32 PM
I spoke too soon.
April 21st, 2011 at 2:32 PM
I’m 22, but at least 5 of the people I know have had kids after highschool. why the fuck are you rushing??
You dont abide by the “Have kids, ask questions later” credo?
April 21st, 2011 at 2:32 PM
To be fair, you don’t know what it feels like either. But I get your point.
April 21st, 2011 at 2:32 PM
Not a single one of you has any idea what it could possibly feel like to carry a fucking alien inside you for 9 months
I’ve taken some pretty big dumps before. The shit got all over my cock’n'balls so I can understand where you’re coming from
April 21st, 2011 at 2:32 PM
Aforementioned C-section. You can start your kegels back up before even leave the hospital.
April 21st, 2011 at 2:33 PM
You jinxed it.
April 21st, 2011 at 2:33 PM
Ummm, neither do you.
April 21st, 2011 at 2:33 PM
Agree on this point. There are people from my high school that already have three kids. Why?
I’m turning 29 in Sept, the soon to be wife is 33, no rushing on our part…I hope.
/she’s gonna want one soon
//end of my life soon enough
April 21st, 2011 at 2:34 PM
Boss just told me I can leave at 3. Thank you Jesus(literally)!
April 21st, 2011 at 2:34 PM
ruminations with spinstergal116.
April 21st, 2011 at 2:34 PM
This. I think too many people just get married and have kids for the sake of doing it, then all hell breaks loose.
April 21st, 2011 at 2:34 PM
I don’t really understand how that makes me a hater…
April 21st, 2011 at 2:36 PM
Women should have children before the age of 30 or not at all. Child raising is for the young.
April 21st, 2011 at 2:36 PM
I mean, it started off with “You idiots”, not that I mind, but, you know… CONTEXT and all
April 21st, 2011 at 2:36 PM
And quite frankly, none of you fucking idiots with a penis should even THINK about critcizing a woman for worrying about having her vagina ripped to shreds during labor. Not a single one of you has any idea what it could possibly feel like to carry a fucking alien inside you for 9 months, go through excruciating pain pushing that alien out of you, then living for YEARS with the after effects of the alien being in your body.
The closest would be passing kidney stones or having a catheter jammed up your urethra. But I get your point and I don’t think anyone with half a brain would seriously criticize.
April 21st, 2011 at 2:37 PM
Dude I already have the marriage/financial stability thing down. The only holdout for me is getting over what a kid will do to my body and giving up my life as I know it. It’s a huge hurdle for me.
I know many couples who’d make wonderful parents but have chosen to not have children for various reasons. I wouldn’t be surprised if this was one of them.
Ultimately it’s each person’s choice whether or not they want children. No right answer and no wrong answer.
April 21st, 2011 at 2:39 PM
You work for a guy named Jesus?
April 21st, 2011 at 2:39 PM
/ grenade
Unless you’re a baseball player.
April 21st, 2011 at 2:39 PM
Jersey, I was pointing to a specific group of people: any guy criticizing a woman for contemplating pregnancy due to body changing side effects. I’m guessing that’s a small group of people.
April 21st, 2011 at 2:40 PM
Won’t matter when Heldover and I get our “Better Parents for America” Act passed.
April 21st, 2011 at 2:40 PM
I’ve taken some pretty big dumps before. The shit got all over my cock’n’balls so I can understand where you’re coming from
Disgustingly fantastic response stark.
April 21st, 2011 at 2:41 PM
Oh I ain’t mad at ya. You know me, I love the fueled SG tirades. Especially when they come to womanly things like babies.
April 21st, 2011 at 2:41 PM
I agree with the basic idea of what is said here, BUT it’s something that millions of women have done for thousands of years with a lot less medical care and anesthesia.
April 21st, 2011 at 2:41 PM
I believe its pronounced HEY-Soos.
April 21st, 2011 at 2:43 PM
But let’s get one fucking thing straight, women. If you aren’t going to have kids, at least make sure that body is fucking tight. There are no fucking excuses.
April 21st, 2011 at 2:45 PM
Do I look Puerto Rican to you? He didn’t call me Hey-soos he said Hey Zeus. My Name is Zeus.
Zeus?
Yeah, Zeus. As in father of Apollo, god of Mount Olympus, don’t fuck with me or I’ll shove a lightning bolt up your ass, Zeus!
April 21st, 2011 at 2:48 PM
i’m depressed because no one mentioned my brood. seriously.
i think way too much of my impact
April 21st, 2011 at 2:51 PM
Is it anything like vez’s brood?
April 21st, 2011 at 2:51 PM
Yeah. I don’t know, its a tricky issue. I do believe though, you gotta have kids at SOME point…pass your fucking genes on.
/ personal belief only
April 21st, 2011 at 2:56 PM
Screw that. Not everyone should have kids. Asshole parents raise asshole kids.
April 21st, 2011 at 4:22 PM
I bet he would have blasted Koufax was skipping a World Series start because of Yom Kippur.
(I almost wrote “he would have crucified him.” Ooops)