Portland Timbers Celebrate Goal With Chainsaw
Here is “Timber Joey” slicing off part of “the Victory log” with a chainsaw during the Portland Timbers’ 4-2 win over the Chicago Fire last night. The tradition dates back to the NASL team in the 1970s. Timber Joey has a resume to make us hold our manhoods cheap, or at least snicker with glee at the number of double entendres. He was once a U.S. National Rugby Player and a professional bare-back bronco rider. He is a certified lumberjack who competes in “pole climbing, jack double bucking, fire hose relays, axe throwing, log rolling and hot saw operation” competitions. He makes his living by owning a concrete finishing company and being the “security manager” at a restaurant. [Video via Mocksession]
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April 15th, 2011 at 11:02 AM
I’m an advocate of more chainsaws at sporting events. And we need the Pacific NW to handle more American soccer stuff. Just awesome.
April 15th, 2011 at 11:02 AM
Words. I have no words.
April 15th, 2011 at 11:04 AM
I’ve enjoyed the Whitecaps games so far this year. Great comeback against Kansas City, had a chance to win too.
April 15th, 2011 at 11:04 AM
I’m a lumberjack and I”m ok! I sleep all night and I work all day!
April 15th, 2011 at 11:04 AM
Don’t give Jack Del Rio any ideas
April 15th, 2011 at 11:05 AM
Cut that
meatwood.April 15th, 2011 at 11:05 AM
I’m a lumberjack and I”m ok! I sleep all night and I work all day!
Well done.
April 15th, 2011 at 11:07 AM
How is there that many people that excited to be at a soccer game in America? Are we sure that wasn’t somewhere in Scandanavia?
April 15th, 2011 at 11:07 AM
There is nothing more surprisingly enjoyable to watch than lumberjack competitions, IMO
April 15th, 2011 at 11:08 AM
Log Driver’s Waltz.
April 15th, 2011 at 11:08 AM
I’m a lumberjack and I”m ok! I sleep all night and I work all day!
I cut down trees. I skip and jump.
I like to press wild flowers.
I put on women’s clothing
And hang around in bars.
BTW….Loved the national anthem being sung by the fans.
April 15th, 2011 at 11:08 AM
Madison got the Great Outdoor Games one year (might have been the last year ESPN did them, I forget)…after about 10 minutes of watching log-rolling you’ve pretty much seen it all
April 15th, 2011 at 11:09 AM
How is there that many people that excited to be at a soccer game in America? Are we sure that wasn’t somewhere in Scandanavia?
I was very impressed by the crowd.
April 15th, 2011 at 11:09 AM
Beaver Stadium gets 100K to come watch the guy from Up shit his pants all day, so this shouldn’t be shocking to you.
April 15th, 2011 at 11:10 AM
It’s a New America, playa. Get with the times.
April 15th, 2011 at 11:10 AM
Been saying forever that it definitely adds to the excitement. Watching Canadians sing Oh Canada before big hockey games still intimidates the fuck out of me.
April 15th, 2011 at 11:12 AM
Been saying forever that it definitely adds to the excitement. Watching Canadians sing Oh Canada before big hockey games still intimidates the fuck out of me.
Do they add Rush lyrics to it?
April 15th, 2011 at 11:13 AM
I loved using Chainsaws back when I worked construction.
April 15th, 2011 at 11:13 AM
Watching Canadians sing Oh Canada before big hockey games still intimidates the fuck out of me.
Mark Donnelly is one of the few things I like about the Canucks.
April 15th, 2011 at 11:14 AM
Watching Canadians sing Oh Canada before big hockey games still intimidates the fuck out of me.Really, Jersey? Really?
April 15th, 2011 at 11:15 AM
We do that at Union games as well. Jackass Red Bulls fans actually tried to disrupt it this past weekend, by singing lyrics slightly faster than the rest of the crowd. Total jackassery.
April 15th, 2011 at 11:16 AM
There’s a video from about 2006 of Oiler (or was it Flames?) fans singing Oh Canada for one of the games of the NHL Finals. It was literally every single fan in the arena getting up on thier feet and belting out Oh Canada acapella, and it gives me the chills every time I watch it. Its crazy.
/ …and then there’s the NBA
April 15th, 2011 at 11:16 AM
Soccer. Please be relevant. Please. We’ll highlight every gimmick. Every unique tradition. Just ignore the shitty quality of play and come to the game!
April 15th, 2011 at 11:16 AM
Pacific Northwest is hotbed of soccer. Very impressed. Seattle Portland Vancouver is gonna be crazy rivalry.
April 15th, 2011 at 11:16 AM
If thats true then maybe those doom and gloom politicians are right, America as we know it is in trouble. I want the America I grew up in, where soccer people are weird and shunned from society.
April 15th, 2011 at 11:16 AM
that’s hilarious, though.
April 15th, 2011 at 11:16 AM
Will never forget this one.
April 15th, 2011 at 11:16 AM
National pride turns me on. What can I say?
April 15th, 2011 at 11:18 AM
Haunting.
April 15th, 2011 at 11:19 AM
Ehh, I prefer this – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EqAcfy5G23k
April 15th, 2011 at 11:19 AM
I have this in the garage. It is one of the weapons I intend on grabbing once the zombie apocalypse begins.
April 15th, 2011 at 11:20 AM
You catching the Mrejr disease, too?
April 15th, 2011 at 11:20 AM
Jersey… it intimidates you? Really? I could see you saying you think it’s cool, but intimidating? Fuck that noise. Are you intimidated by Mariah Carey when she hits high notes?
April 15th, 2011 at 11:21 AM
I’m good with that. You’ve paid your buck-0-five.
April 15th, 2011 at 11:21 AM
I fucking hate Gary Bettman and the NHL. Word is that him and the NHL told officials at the Joe that if anyone throws an octopus on the ice they are to be ejected and pay a $500 fine. This policy was set in motion starting in the 2nd period of game 1. It’s a fucking tradition. Next time someone scores a hat trick they better mandate everyone who throws a hat on the ice be ejected and pay a fine as well.
April 15th, 2011 at 11:21 AM
You’ve been stocking seeds, non-persishables, gold, and ammunition in your security bunker right? I hope so because I’m not sharing mine.
April 15th, 2011 at 11:22 AM
The whole crowd singing the anthem in unison? I mean, if you didn’t realize you were in enemy territory before, that is a good loud reminder. I think it’s impressive. Guess that’s just me.
April 15th, 2011 at 11:22 AM
This is the worst thing I’ve ever seen.
April 15th, 2011 at 11:22 AM
Echo sucks…Stihl is the way to go.
April 15th, 2011 at 11:23 AM
Not really. Shut up.
April 15th, 2011 at 11:23 AM
Maybe he’s just intimidated by Canada’s national anthem cause it’s more badass than the American one.
/ launches grenade
// bolts
April 15th, 2011 at 11:24 AM
Top notch but he seemed to fall a little short at the end though, kinda like the Bears
April 15th, 2011 at 11:24 AM
The long pole is optimal, but it doesn’t really provide quick movement from one target to another, I mean what if you are sawing one zombie’s head off and another one comes at you from inside the pole radius? I prefer my zombie weapons to have great range and/or great manueverablity.
April 15th, 2011 at 11:24 AM
Wait until the BYU post goes up.
April 15th, 2011 at 11:24 AM
By someone that good-looking and talented, SG? Yes.
April 15th, 2011 at 11:25 AM
This guy takes the movie Canadian Bacon to heart.
April 15th, 2011 at 11:25 AM
Anyway, North America doesn’t have shit on Euro crowds, for any sport.
April 15th, 2011 at 11:26 AM
Maybe he’s just intimidated by Canada’s national anthem cause it’s more badass than the American one.
/ launches grenade
// bolts
Best line in the Canadian national anthem is the last one. “Oh Canada, we stand on guard for thee.”
April 15th, 2011 at 11:26 AM
Carey in the video for Honey = Wow.
April 15th, 2011 at 11:26 AM
Madison got the Great Outdoor Games one year (might have been the last year ESPN did them, I forget)…after about 10 minutes of watching log-rolling you’ve pretty much seen it all
The dog long jump never, ever gets old. So you can just take that back right now.
April 15th, 2011 at 11:26 AM
I prefer my zombie weapons to have great range and/or great manueverablity.
Go with the Lobo, for close range combat.
April 15th, 2011 at 11:27 AM
Maybe he’s just intimidated by Canada’s national anthem cause it’s more badass than the American one.
Oh get the fuck out of here with that.
April 15th, 2011 at 11:27 AM
That’s fucked up.
April 15th, 2011 at 11:27 AM
The Euros care more, they throw flares at the field when upset and shout racist remarks…gotta support the team
April 15th, 2011 at 11:28 AM
Why is the Pacific NW such a hotbed for soccer? Is it because that part of the country is full of soccer-loving hipsters? I don’t get it.
April 15th, 2011 at 11:28 AM
Not enough rioting?
April 15th, 2011 at 11:29 AM
I see you caught my grenade.
April 15th, 2011 at 11:29 AM
Agreed. They are streets ahead when it comes to hooliganism and racist jeering.
April 15th, 2011 at 11:30 AM
I’m not sure, but think of the other sports teams and their fanbases that are up in that area. They are absolute psychos for any pro sport.
April 15th, 2011 at 11:30 AM
Dont forget the overt racism.
April 15th, 2011 at 11:30 AM
Was actually being sarcastic a bit, trying to see if Bill Simmons saying is true that women explode when you compliment Mariah Carey or the ugly chick who was on the WB years ago who tried to be a singer, blanking on her name.
April 15th, 2011 at 11:30 AM
Does not compute. I have yet to meet a hipster who even follows sports, let alone watches soccer.
April 15th, 2011 at 11:30 AM
Green Street Hooligans is a kick ass movie.
Apparently, they made a fucking sequel to it.
But seriously, fuck Hollywood.
April 15th, 2011 at 11:31 AM
Why is the Pacific NW such a hotbed for soccer?
Can’t speak about Seattle and Portland, but Vancouver has a very multicultural population base and a strong soccer history dating back the USL and NASL.
April 15th, 2011 at 11:31 AM
It is. Whoever thought of this should be shot out of a cannon.
April 15th, 2011 at 11:32 AM
No way. Nobody was going to Trailblazer games there for awhile. And I don’t see these people flipping out over the Mariners.
April 15th, 2011 at 11:32 AM
Women explode if you compliment anyone that is not them.
April 15th, 2011 at 11:32 AM
This is the most I’ve ever commented in a soccer post. I feel kinda dirty.
April 15th, 2011 at 11:33 AM
Not a soccer guy but was very happy for the Timbers fans in the PacNW.
Last night was a long time coming and a lot of hard work was done to overcome one the worst city governments in the country.
April 15th, 2011 at 11:33 AM
I see you caught my grenade.
Yep. Then pulled the pin and threw it back.
April 15th, 2011 at 11:34 AM
You seen their lineup? It’s a wonder they get any fans at all…back when they had a product those crowds were strong
April 15th, 2011 at 11:34 AM
You’re kidding, right? You should see all the hipsters at The Globe in Chicago. I know lots of hipsters that like sports. Usually it’s non-mainstream sports but sports nonetheless.
I’d pay to watch that. Person shot out of a cannon > guy cutting wood
April 15th, 2011 at 11:34 AM
Pretty sure the Blazers own the longest home sellout streak in US pro sports.
April 15th, 2011 at 11:35 AM
They had a brief 3 year stretch where they sucked and still got the place to like 75% capacity. Sonics had a pretty diehard fanbase. Seahawks are self explanatory. I got nothing for the Mariners. But Vancouver loves their sports like no one’s business.
April 15th, 2011 at 11:36 AM
Pig-chasing.
April 15th, 2011 at 11:36 AM
They had a brief 3 year stretch where they sucked and still got the place to like 75% capacity
Jail Blazers era, fans were put off by the frequency and severity of off court issues.
April 15th, 2011 at 11:37 AM
OT but when can the hipsters go the fuck away? Guess what you’re going to conform eventually. Deal with it.
April 15th, 2011 at 11:37 AM
Not sure. Maybe it’s because they’re the most healthy and educated area?
April 15th, 2011 at 11:38 AM
Portland has a deep for the Trail Blazers but the Jail Blazer era was just too much to take and the only way the fans could voice their distain of the product was the stop filling the Rose Garden. Paul Allen and the Vulcans did nothing to change the culture of the team until fans and sponsors started to withdraw their support.
Once the Blazers gutted that roster and started to rebuild the fans came back in force.
And their are M’s fans in Portland but bottom line that’s a Seattle team and Portland will never fully get behind a Seattle sports team.
April 15th, 2011 at 11:40 AM
The Packers’ streak goes back to the 60s, the Blazers didn’t exist then
April 15th, 2011 at 11:40 AM
I found this interesting… Harvard entrance exam from 100 years ago (allegedly). I showed the math part who is boss, but the rest made me feel like an Arizona State graduate…
April 15th, 2011 at 11:40 AM
They also get degrees in very obscure majors and grow beards while not being in shape, and wearing suspect t-shirts.
/ sticking it to the man
April 15th, 2011 at 11:43 AM
Yeah what are they going to do with their philosophy or English or theology majors? We need scientists not hipsters.
April 15th, 2011 at 11:44 AM
Trucker caps and ultimate frisbee? Or did I move onto the wrong group… I don’t fully understand what a hipster is.
April 15th, 2011 at 11:44 AM
/Raises hand excitedly
//Realizes he’s wasted most of his morning on this blog
///lowers hand
April 15th, 2011 at 11:45 AM
This video seems appropriate.
April 15th, 2011 at 11:46 AM
Actually, most philosophy or English majors I know are not hipsters. Most people in English actually hate the few hipsters in the class, since they tend to argue with the professor about everything. There’s very few of them though.
Cultural Studies, Theology, French (and nothing else)…those are usually the hipsters I’ve come across.
April 15th, 2011 at 11:48 AM
I had an idea, and then I used wikipedia to confirm. I had the right idea.
April 15th, 2011 at 11:49 AM
I was generalizing more or less. I was a history/econ double major and I turned out ok.
April 15th, 2011 at 11:49 AM
Let’s not take a gigantic dump on humanities degrees in order to make a point about the douchiness of hipsters. Doing so is horribly uninformed.
April 15th, 2011 at 11:52 AM
Humanities are a waste of time and money. Nothin but sissies and women.
/Engineering’d
April 15th, 2011 at 11:52 AM
Don’t have a problem with the degrees at all, I think all degrees are worth their weight if you market yourself right. Hipsters are kinda annoying though. Friendly, but annoying.
April 15th, 2011 at 11:53 AM
coop, you kissed a guy. On the mouth.
/debate team.
April 15th, 2011 at 11:53 AM
You’re right. Most games is what I meant. Like 800-something.
April 15th, 2011 at 11:53 AM
I think all degrees are worth their weight if you market yourself right
This is 100% correct.
April 15th, 2011 at 11:55 AM
That SMU debate team is about as good as your football team. Which is to say terrible.
April 15th, 2011 at 11:59 AM
I actually wasn’t on the SMU debate team or football team. So your slings and arrows torment me not.
April 15th, 2011 at 12:00 PM
My brother’s a hipster. He’s getting an engineering degree and can’t grow a beard.
April 15th, 2011 at 12:15 PM
Phillies games are full of hipsters these days.
Ha! Sounds like he’s only trying to be a hipster…
April 15th, 2011 at 12:22 PM
I have noticed this as well. Ugh.
April 15th, 2011 at 3:52 PM
Will make it that much easier to go watch the Rangers play them next month with my hat on. Hipsters don’t fight, they love each other!
/Chris Farley’d
April 17th, 2011 at 3:04 AM
Basically anything you can do to gather indoors in the dark and rainy times of year to watch on TV as a group will do well. Lots and lots of pubs combined with lots and lots of tvs in those pubs is the ultimate answer.
While this was addressed by a couple of people above who addressed why Blazer fans stopped going to games, it got so bad with the jailblazers that I know people who only kept going to boo the players. It was not a fun time. We had players getting arrested for dog fighting, pot possession, weapons charges, brawling in strip clubs amongst a varied list of other law enforcement issues. It was to the point some people kept “numbr of days since” counts, you know how a factory posts numbers of days since the last injury on the factory floor counts.
It was not worth it to support these thugs and criminals any longer so people stopped going. Now the Blazers have one of the longest strings of sellouts going.