Roundup: Americans are Stupid, Stupid American Goes to Israel, Gay Conversion App Meets Apple’s Terms of Use, A-Rod Feels Healthy
Good morning, internet. Daddy McIntyre is home with his family. CRM and I have the car keys for a few more days. The lovely miss Alison Brie [via Getty]. Real Americans are stupid. Scratch that. Americans are real stupid. Wyclef might have been shot in Haiti. Estimated damage from Japan earthquake: 18,000 dead, $235 billion. Palin goes to Israel. Pretty sure my mom will forward this to me in the next 48 hours and suggest I should move.
We’ll probably run this again, but here are the announcer pairings for the Sweet 16. Gus has Florida/BYU and Wisconsin/Butler. [Turner Sports]
Don’t judge Jim Tressel too harshly. Incredibly, this wasn’t from an Ohio State site. [HuskerExtra]
Thou shalt not use your Apple product for pornography, but converting the gays is acceptable use. [Telegraph]
Five super old video game commercials. Love the Legend of Zelda rap. [Plugged In]
AT&T got really sick of those T-mobile commercials. [Reuters]
Time to “throw the book at Cooke.” [Edmonton Journal]
Billy Ray Cirus wrote a movie script for Whoopi Goldberg. [NYPost]
Definite headline of the year candidate: “Deputy: Strip Search Finds Crack Between Buttocks” [WYFF4]
Juan Agudelo, the next big thing in American soccer. [Goal]
Man steals car. Smashes owner’s front door with club and yells at him to make sure he’s aware. [ABCActionNews]
Alex Rodriguez hasn’t felt this healthy since he was using… [MLB]
NASA employees have an incredible amount of spare time.
Don’t steal parking spaces, while driving a convertible.
Allman Brothers? Allman Brothers.
- John Tortorella And a Ref Dropped F-Bombs On Live TV During the Rangers-Bruins Game [Video]
- LeBron James and Paul George’s Epic Game 1 Battle Looks Even Cooler in Slow Motion [Video]
- Manchester City Players Were Super Excited To Catch Passes From Eli Manning [Video]
- Miami Heat Remix of Pitbull’s “Feel This Moment?” Dále!
- Buffalo Bills Fan Has O.J. Simpson Mug Shot Tattoo on His Thigh
- orly57 on John Tortorella And a Ref Dropped F-Bombs On Live TV During the Rangers-Bruins Game [Video]
- yorwifesahor on Buffalo Bills Fan Has O.J. Simpson Mug Shot Tattoo on His Thigh
- Nada on Fox Sports 1 Heavily in Pursuit of Former NFL Player Trevor Pryce and ESPN Chicago's Sarah Spain
- Nada on Fox Sports 1 Heavily in Pursuit of Former NFL Player Trevor Pryce and ESPN Chicago's Sarah Spain
- A.P. on Buffalo Bills Fan Has O.J. Simpson Mug Shot Tattoo on His Thigh
82 Responses to “Roundup: Americans are Stupid, Stupid American Goes to Israel, Gay Conversion App Meets Apple’s Terms of Use, A-Rod Feels Healthy”
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March 21st, 2011 at 8:46 AM
it’s very terrorist-y in here this morning.
March 21st, 2011 at 8:50 AM
Allison Brie is in my Top 5.
March 21st, 2011 at 8:50 AM
Dong in a circle?
March 21st, 2011 at 8:52 AM
Had two three-team parlays this weekend: SDSU/Pitt/UConn and UConn/UNC/Texas. So the two ridiculous endings and a grand total of two points cost me about two grand.
F-bombs were flyin’.
March 21st, 2011 at 8:53 AM
I know a duffy headline when I see one
March 21st, 2011 at 8:54 AM
1:18 reminds me of this time I squished a spider in my house and hundreds of tiny baby spiders scattered. freaked. me. out.
March 21st, 2011 at 8:57 AM
So Jim Tressel created an app to convert gays so he won’t be judged too harshly?
/ty put these two stories next to each other for a reason
March 21st, 2011 at 8:58 AM
That hit was so stupid. I’m guessing he gets at least 5 games.
March 21st, 2011 at 9:00 AM
Well if Barry Switzer thinks it’s OK.
March 21st, 2011 at 9:00 AM
NASA employees have an incredible amount of spare time.
They better have done that nonsense on their lunch break.
Ty is an Allman Bros’ fan? Color me stupified.
March 21st, 2011 at 9:01 AM
Cuck – I had the same Pitt/UConn/SDSU parlay. I also had a standalone moneyline bet on Texas. Not quite as much money on the line though.
/yesterday was a gambling debacle after a profitable first 3 days
March 21st, 2011 at 9:02 AM
Friendly reminder. First round of Special Guest Region of the SBTB tourney voting is still open.
March 21st, 2011 at 9:03 AM
is that like a mauve?
March 21st, 2011 at 9:11 AM
What am I supposed to listen to?
March 21st, 2011 at 9:12 AM
I think it’s taupe
March 21st, 2011 at 9:13 AM
What am I supposed to listen to?
Rage Against the Machine and Neil Young for starters….
March 21st, 2011 at 9:14 AM
Nothing freaks me out more than that clusterfuck happening again. Charlotte can kiss my ass.
March 21st, 2011 at 9:15 AM
WTF?! What the fuck kind of spider did you kill?! I hate you for sharing that story.
March 21st, 2011 at 9:17 AM
Eddie Money.
March 21st, 2011 at 9:19 AM
+ 2 tickets to paradise
March 21st, 2011 at 9:20 AM
WTF?! What the fuck kind of spider did you kill?! I hate you for sharing that story.
Puppies? Not ok to squish. Cats? Same thing. Spiders? fuck-em
March 21st, 2011 at 9:22 AM
One of my favorites: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hA1wDgPZCDA
March 21st, 2011 at 9:24 AM
I think it was a wolf spider, which isn’t poisonous, but fucking ugly and scary looking. I learned firsthand that the females carry their eggs sack and babies around. it was absolutely disgusting when it happened. I may have yelped…don’t judge me.
March 21st, 2011 at 9:25 AM
That hit was so stupid. I’m guessing he gets at least 5 games.
The hit was malicious, he came in with the elbow and made no attempt to connect with anything other than McDonagh’s head, Cooke is lucky McDonagh was able to return to the game. My guess is that he gets 6-8 games, and I’m hoping 8.
/CJ, the Oilers signed Tanner House from UMaine.
March 21st, 2011 at 9:26 AM
dogs and cats don’t generally try to kill you in your sleep.
March 21st, 2011 at 9:26 AM
He deserves double that penalty. Easily.
Ridiculously dirty hit. I wonder how his boss feels about that.
March 21st, 2011 at 9:27 AM
is there an awesome mashup of this out there? there needs to be one of bulls on parade and long may you run.
March 21st, 2011 at 9:27 AM
Allman Bros? Wow, didn’t know Artie Lange was assisting Duffy with the Round Up.
March 21st, 2011 at 9:27 AM
Someone’s never had a Maine Coon sleep on your chest during the night.
March 21st, 2011 at 9:28 AM
i wasn’t saying “wtf” because I was upset he killed a spider. I fucking hate spiders. I was freaking out because of the hundreds of baby spiders thing… that literally made me shudder.
Also, I had a wolf spider land on me when I was laying out on a boat. I’ve never jumped in the water so fast.
March 21st, 2011 at 9:29 AM
You lose no guy points with that. I’ve had to peel 3 leeches off of me at one time, and I’m pretty sure that I would have screamed like the King of Pop if I saw that spider shit.
March 21st, 2011 at 9:31 AM
My mom found the shell of a snake in her yard this weekend, I literally screamed for her to STFU as she was telling me the story.
/Don’t care that they eat mice
//Spiders and snakes creep me the hell out
March 21st, 2011 at 9:32 AM
“Whoa! How does he make that sound with his mouth?”
March 21st, 2011 at 9:32 AM
quite a frumpy sweatsuit.
March 21st, 2011 at 9:33 AM
Spiders are often responsible for about 1 million insect kills. I respect them outside but as soon as they cross the threshold into my place it’s game over.
March 21st, 2011 at 9:33 AM
You knew they were going to send Nantz to follow Duke or UNC around, but CBS has been selling Jimmer really, really, really hard.
March 21st, 2011 at 9:33 AM
sadly, I knew the Zelda rap from beginning to end.
good choice on the Allman’s Duffy, nice start to the week.
March 21st, 2011 at 9:37 AM
Are you saying they shouldn’t be?
Nantz was pulling a Musberger in the UNC/Washington game yesterday, audibly sounding let down anytime Washington scored. I laugh when Uncle Brent does it (probably because I don’t care about college football) but I wanted to throw something at the TV yesterday.
March 21st, 2011 at 9:37 AM
I know I hate watching great players too
March 21st, 2011 at 9:37 AM
Now with video…
Seriously, it’s time to sit him down for 15 games, preferably the remainder of the season and the entire postseason. I’m sick of talking about this guy and his desire to end other people’s seasons and possibly their careers. At some point you just have to get rid of someone who is making a mockery of the game’s rule system.
March 21st, 2011 at 9:38 AM
is there an awesome mashup of this out there? there needs to be one of bulls on parade and long may you run.
No, but there should be. Check this one out with RATM, REM and David Guetta. It’s the 2nd one from the bottom.
March 21st, 2011 at 9:38 AM
declan sullivan case details coming out, hoops team shows fraudiness and michael floyd gets a DUI
it’s be nice to Jersey day
March 21st, 2011 at 9:38 AM
yep.
March 21st, 2011 at 9:39 AM
I’m still on Florida time and detoxing after all my drinking on St. Pattys Day. Wake me up on Wednesday.
March 21st, 2011 at 9:39 AM
And if Ray Shero or Mario Lemieux open their big fat Shittsburgh yaps to defend this guy, I want the Penguins contracted.
March 21st, 2011 at 9:39 AM
Love how they had to push the name “Nintendo Entertainment System” since the term “video game” was poison in that era thanks to Atari.
March 21st, 2011 at 9:39 AM
There’s also a Sweet Home Alabama/Country Grammar mashup that’s not bad.
March 21st, 2011 at 9:41 AM
Strong, strong start to the week Duffy
March 21st, 2011 at 9:42 AM
why why why is palin allowed outside of our country?
March 21st, 2011 at 9:43 AM
At some point you just have to get rid of someone who is making a mockery of the game’s rule system.
Easier said than done in the era of guaranteed contracts, the only real recourse (save for a career ending suspension, which is not happening) is for the Penguins to buy him out. However, he would find another suitor within the first couple hours of free agency. It’s a shame.
March 21st, 2011 at 9:44 AM
Because we’re hoping she’ll forget where it is and get lost on her way back
March 21st, 2011 at 9:45 AM
I doubt they defend it – Bylsma was essentially ‘biting his tongue’ to avoid calling Cooke an idiot during his post-gamer presser.
It’s also been reported that Shero/Bylsma have met with Cooke at least 3 or 4 times this season relative to his ‘style’ of play.
March 21st, 2011 at 9:46 AM
didnt think of that butters. she probably doesn;t need bodyguards in the middle east….our enemies will make sure she’s safe
March 21st, 2011 at 9:47 AM
Put him down for the season and postseason. End of story.
March 21st, 2011 at 9:49 AM
I heard TBL is still looking for the real father.
/Just kidding! Congrats Jason and Mrs. McIntyre
March 21st, 2011 at 9:51 AM
Put him down for the season and postseason. End of story.
This shouldn’t be misconstrued as me defending Cooke, but do a quick review of the number of suspensions in league history that have included the entirety of the playoffs. Rightly or wrongly, I’ll be shocked if this one includes any playoff games.
March 21st, 2011 at 9:53 AM
I heard TBL is still looking for the real father.
Seriously? I know its a joke, but that’s not cool.
March 21st, 2011 at 9:54 AM
Alison Brie is a good way to start the week but any consideration given to her co-star on the show?
The Blonde one, not sure of the name.
Joel McHale or something. Crap. Was that out loud?
March 21st, 2011 at 9:54 AM
TBL’s wife had a baby? I didn’t know they were expecting! Congratulations to them!
/Low 7 figures must have put them on the baby track
March 21st, 2011 at 9:54 AM
Jimminy, I’ve really been out of the loop–there is a bouncing new Baby McIntyre?
Link, somebody, link…
March 21st, 2011 at 9:55 AM
OK, so now I don’t feel so bad…
March 21st, 2011 at 9:56 AM
How long ago was that deal announced? About 9 months ago? Hmmm…
March 21st, 2011 at 9:57 AM
That was not the point I was trying to make. I was just making an observation.
March 21st, 2011 at 9:58 AM
Yes major congrats in order for Mr. and Mrs. TBL.
March 21st, 2011 at 9:58 AM
Thundercock on ESPN Radio right now.
March 21st, 2011 at 9:59 AM
Same here! Now waiting for someone to photoshop a pic of a baby with really big guns!
March 21st, 2011 at 10:00 AM
\
Any chance my dream of a BBoB themed day comes true?
March 21st, 2011 at 10:00 AM
Girl? Boy? Spill Duffy…
March 21st, 2011 at 10:01 AM
bryce gavin is the lad’s name
should be Woo Hooo!
/nine months ago theory
March 21st, 2011 at 10:01 AM
Fuck yeah Allman Brothers! That Eddie Money song is awesome as well.
March 21st, 2011 at 10:01 AM
Smedium Jets t-shirt
March 21st, 2011 at 10:02 AM
That’s a preposterous notion
March 21st, 2011 at 10:02 AM
that was awesome. help yourself to a few internet points.
March 21st, 2011 at 10:02 AM
Adios Bill Henrickson.
March 21st, 2011 at 10:04 AM
The middle name is in honor of our very own Gavin McLeod.
/Not confirmed by me.
March 21st, 2011 at 10:05 AM
The people who just heard the TBL baby news need to get on Twitter.
March 21st, 2011 at 10:05 AM
We talking about this today or allowing for a grace period of a day for those who kept with the basketball deep into the night?
March 21st, 2011 at 10:08 AM
The middle name is in honor of our very own Gavin McLeod.
and my 4yo
March 21st, 2011 at 10:12 AM
it depends. who the fuck is Bill Hendrickson?
March 21st, 2011 at 10:15 AM
Big Love, badger. Series finale was last nite.
And Butters, I won’t say anything else, guess you are right, a lot of people probably didn’t watch it yet.
March 21st, 2011 at 10:22 AM
James the actor, ftmfw.
/Haaaaaaaaahvard
March 21st, 2011 at 10:34 AM
Jay V: Thanks a lot for all of the advice for Vegas.