Timofey Mozgov Got Married at a Drive-Thru Church in Las Vegas. In Sweats.
Timofey Mozgov, the newest Denver Nugget, had a fantastic All-Star weekend – he got married. In Las Veags. At a drive-thru church. Wearing sweats. And that’s not even the best part of the story. Thanks to Google Translate, everyone is aware of how good a gambler Mozgov is – he took $700 in profits. This part, well, isn’t so great: “And to continue our consultations with lawyers. By the way, their services are insanely expensive!” Welcome to the party, pal. Mozgov had a nice February with the Knicks, but has yet to play in two games with the Nuggets. [via Alexander Chernykh and Brian Windhorst]

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129 Responses to “Timofey Mozgov Got Married at a Drive-Thru Church in Las Vegas. In Sweats.”
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February 28th, 2011 at 12:20 PM
My parents were a Vegas wedding (still classed it up though with the formal wear), it was the last interesting thing they ever did…that’s the way to do it though, weddings are just a financial drain and with the divorce rate as high as it is not even a good investment
February 28th, 2011 at 12:22 PM
Butters: I agree a MILLION, BILLION percent.
February 28th, 2011 at 12:22 PM
Yippee Kay-ay Mister Falcon.
February 28th, 2011 at 12:23 PM
“Baby, we gots to make this NBA money last!”
February 28th, 2011 at 12:23 PM
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME BRAYLON?
February 28th, 2011 at 12:24 PM
Yippee Kay-ay Mister Falcon.
Mister Falcon. ha. That’s some professional dubbing right there.
February 28th, 2011 at 12:24 PM
I respect this man. Vegas. Drive thru wedding. Sweats. Winning.
February 28th, 2011 at 12:26 PM
Oh, damn.
February 28th, 2011 at 12:26 PM
/forwards Butters’s comment to future wife.
February 28th, 2011 at 12:26 PM
I have a friend who refused to buy his fiance a diamond ring b/c said diamonds don’t appreciate in value.
February 28th, 2011 at 12:27 PM
This.
The only question becomes, which is more expensive? The marriage, or the cost of divorce.
February 28th, 2011 at 12:27 PM
in soviet russia, church drives through you!
February 28th, 2011 at 12:28 PM
She’s cute. He definitely out-kicked his coverage. Must be nice being an NBA player. Even one that I’ve never heard of before.
/sighs
//stares at the pile of paperwork on my desk
///hasn’t been on a date in months
////cries softly into my hands
February 28th, 2011 at 12:28 PM
weddings are just a financial drain and with the divorce rate as high as it is not even a good investment
A wedding can be done with a moderate budget, as long as your future wife is reasonable.
February 28th, 2011 at 12:29 PM
Neither do women.
/ducks
February 28th, 2011 at 12:30 PM
Friend of mine is getting married to a girl who’s getting hitched for the second time yet she’s still doing the whole wedding thing without the faintest hint of self-awareness…back in the day such a thing was looked down upon
My favorite was when she said she bought some bridal magazine, had to bite the lip pretty hard to keep from asking “Things change that much in the last five years?”
February 28th, 2011 at 12:31 PM
Marko Jaric agrees
February 28th, 2011 at 12:31 PM
A wedding can be done with a moderate budget, as long as your future wife is reasonable.
The in-laws must also be reasonable as I am discovering. It’s amazing how much propriety they are feeling over this simply because they say they are paying for much of it.
February 28th, 2011 at 12:31 PM
That’s what future father-in-laws are for.
February 28th, 2011 at 12:31 PM
I have a friend who refused to buy his fiance a diamond ring b/c said diamonds don’t appreciate in value.
He’s a douche for using the appreciation value as a reason; but he’s right about engagement rings being a racket.
If there’s a lady I think I might like to propose to, but she strongly hints that she wants a engagement ring that will set us back years financially, she can take a hike.
February 28th, 2011 at 12:32 PM
If ever get married Im going to at least walk in. Maybe wear a tuxedo shirt.
February 28th, 2011 at 12:33 PM
/throws waffle
February 28th, 2011 at 12:33 PM
If there’s a lady I think I might like to propose to, but she strongly hints that she wants a engagement ring that will set us back years financially, she can take a hike.
This is where I disagree to an extent. If you’re going to go above and beyond on something, it should be the ring. But that’s also going to vary from woman to woman.
February 28th, 2011 at 12:33 PM
Spot on. She’s a cutie, he’s a troll.
February 28th, 2011 at 12:33 PM
The in-laws must also be reasonable as I am discovering.
Important as well. Got married overlooking the pond/fountain at a golf course, had the reception in the club house, toonie ($2) bar. Cost wasn’t that bad.
February 28th, 2011 at 12:33 PM
This, plus
This = HEAD ASPLODES
February 28th, 2011 at 12:33 PM
That’s funny. But some women can hold on to their looks longer than others.
/crosses fingers and hopes my wife pulls a hellen mirren and looks hot in her 70s.
February 28th, 2011 at 12:33 PM
I just learned recently that you’re supposed to buy women engangement rings and wedding rings. That is fucking bullshit.
February 28th, 2011 at 12:34 PM
My fiancee and I are getting married by a justice of the peace with a couple of witnesses and then taking off to the caribbean for a two week honeymoon later this year. I’m ecstatic about not having to the traditional wedding thing. Her parents, not so much.
February 28th, 2011 at 12:34 PM
Thought you’d been playing a little “bump, set, spike” of late
February 28th, 2011 at 12:34 PM
That’s what future father-in-laws are for.
Yeah, another reason I hope I never have a daughter. Along with the fact I can’t fathom being a parent to a 12-21 year old girl these days.
February 28th, 2011 at 12:35 PM
/crosses fingers and hopes my wife pulls a hellen mirren and looks hot in her 70s.
She looked good last night too.
Pregnant Natalie Portman just looks odd to me.
February 28th, 2011 at 12:35 PM
You had a cash bar at your wedding? FAIL
February 28th, 2011 at 12:35 PM
Everything said so far is true…however, I had a blast at my wedding, and my friends and family still talk about it 5 years later.
Like Geez and ms said, all parties involved need to keep things in prespective during the planning. The best advice I got was that people only remember 3 things about a wedding, the food, the music, and the people, so that’s where all your attention/money should be focused. Screw flowers, table gifts, etc.
February 28th, 2011 at 12:36 PM
Much easier said (or in this case, written) than done.
My cousin did this in her second marriage. It was kinda funny, but I do give her marks for not trying to do the exact same thing as her first wedding. The first wedding was larger and more Catholic…..the second was swankier, but sorta non-denominational.
February 28th, 2011 at 12:37 PM
Wedding rings are not that expensive…
Also, men, I know I read on here once that Husker got the same deal I did…make sure you are getting an engagement gift. A nice flat screen at least.
February 28th, 2011 at 12:37 PM
I dropped some coin on the engagement ring, but that was more for greedy purposes. I wanted people to look at her ring and be like, “your man is a baller.” But then we bought the wedding rings together once we had a joint account. Hers was like 800 bucks, mine was 60.
February 28th, 2011 at 12:37 PM
Like Geez and ms said, all parties involved need to keep things in prespective during the planning. The best advice I got was that people only remember 3 things about a wedding, the food, the music, and the people, so that’s where all your attention/money should be focused. Screw flowers, table gifts, etc.
And you better have a half decent bar too. Booze doesn’t have to be top shelf, but it shouldn’t be only discount stuff from the liquor store either.
February 28th, 2011 at 12:37 PM
TIMOFEY?
February 28th, 2011 at 12:38 PM
You had a cash bar at your wedding? FAIL
Easy to say if you’re not paying for the booze, pretty common up here. Saves on people ordering drinks, taking one sip and leaving it there.
February 28th, 2011 at 12:38 PM
If your wedding has a cash bar, a band with a median age of 55 or you thought doing your registry at Crate and Barrel was a good idea, I’m not coming. My $50 Applebee’s gift card will be in the mail, cheapskate.
February 28th, 2011 at 12:39 PM
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME BRAYLON?
“I came. I saw. I dropped it” just doesn’t have the same ring.
I just learned recently that you’re supposed to buy women engangement rings and wedding rings. That is fucking bullshit.
That’s just for starters. Wait till you gotta hit her up on anniversaries, birthdays, Valentine’s, Christmas and Mothers’ Day every year. Meanwhile you just get a 2-BJ pack (one for birthday and one for anniversary).
February 28th, 2011 at 12:39 PM
Nothing worse than this move.
February 28th, 2011 at 12:39 PM
Gotta go open bar. I don’t see any way around this.
February 28th, 2011 at 12:40 PM
I think it depends on the girl. If they are high maintenance, they will want a high maintenance ring. I think girls want the rings more than the lavish wedding.
February 28th, 2011 at 12:40 PM
Pretty much every wedding I’ve been to has been free beer and a cash bar…always thought that was standard operating procedure
February 28th, 2011 at 12:40 PM
You married the wrong woman.
February 28th, 2011 at 12:40 PM
This = HEAD ASPLODES
Yep. Going through a bit of a rut. New job + new city + long hours + lame co-workers = not a great social life.
/excuses, excuses
February 28th, 2011 at 12:40 PM
jesus tittyfucking christ this is a sports blog, not aunt amy’s spinstertorium.
February 28th, 2011 at 12:41 PM
As someone who has been married AND divorced, this is great advice I wish I had received.
Once you give her that engagement ring, that’s a sunk cost, financially speaking. Don’t expect to see that $$ again if things don’t work out.
February 28th, 2011 at 12:41 PM
A dry wedding.
/one of my buddy’s
//lots of trips to the parking lot
February 28th, 2011 at 12:41 PM
A lot of guys don’t realize that when she says “I do” she finishes it up in her head as “I do…. not give blow jobs anymore”
February 28th, 2011 at 12:41 PM
Only wedding I’ve ever been to with a cash bar was my cousin’s. He got a fresh box of Iowa prairie air as a gift.
February 28th, 2011 at 12:41 PM
Pretty much every wedding I’ve been to has been free beer and a cash bar…always thought that was standard operating procedure
Pretty much every one I’ve been to has been toonie bar, with the exception of the wedding party who drink for free. I paid for most of my wedding and it wasn’t that bad because my wife was reasonable about it.
February 28th, 2011 at 12:41 PM
LOL
February 28th, 2011 at 12:41 PM
This is why Wisconsin sucks.
February 28th, 2011 at 12:42 PM
What did Bralyon do? Site blocked.
We had mix of cash/open bar. We provided beer and wine, mixed drinks you paid for.
February 28th, 2011 at 12:42 PM
Yep. Still get foreplay beejed, every time.
/counts blessings
February 28th, 2011 at 12:42 PM
Nothing worse than this move.
A dry wedding.
This.
February 28th, 2011 at 12:43 PM
That’s how our wedding was…but we had an open bar between the ceremony and dinner.
We also had ours on a Friday instead of Saturday – we paid no cost for the reception room rental, just food.
February 28th, 2011 at 12:43 PM
You’re right, we should be posting links to puppies. That would be much more appropriate.
February 28th, 2011 at 12:43 PM
Isn’t that highly based on the girl though. I think if the woman is adventerous enough, a job and a ring won’t slow her love for that.
/ some women loving giving it
// probably not when they have screaming kids
February 28th, 2011 at 12:44 PM
You’re right, we should be posting links to puppies. That would be much more appropriate.
BOOM. ROASTED.
February 28th, 2011 at 12:44 PM
She wanted diamonds on the wedding band. I got titanium. I don’t care. She makes a lot more money than I do. And I make decent money.
/high fives all the guys in here
//and my sex life is nothing like these losers describe, it’s AWESOME
February 28th, 2011 at 12:44 PM
good Lord, that’s the saddest thing I’ve ever read in here.
February 28th, 2011 at 12:45 PM
Great. Now I feel like getting drunk at 11:45 am on a Monday. Thanks guys. Thanks a lot.
/opens
liquor cabinetbottom desk drawerFebruary 28th, 2011 at 12:45 PM
sounds like fighting words.
February 28th, 2011 at 12:45 PM
Thats why Im not getting married.
February 28th, 2011 at 12:45 PM
That was a post typing fail.
February 28th, 2011 at 12:45 PM
Gotta go with the Tungsten. Inexpensive and indestructible.
February 28th, 2011 at 12:46 PM
She wanted diamonds on the wedding band. I got titanium. I don’t care. She makes a lot more money than I do. And I make decent money.
Titanium is a good move. I went with white gold. My friend has platinum which looks great the day of the wedding, but platinum gets dinged up too easily for something you wear every single day.
February 28th, 2011 at 12:46 PM
Exactly. Know your woman before you marry her.
February 28th, 2011 at 12:46 PM
Just curious…is that as awkward as people make it seem like it is?
February 28th, 2011 at 12:47 PM
Do you realize how much brandy is taken down at a Wisconsin wedding? You throw in the free beer as a deterent to the guests cleaning out the Korbel inventory.
February 28th, 2011 at 12:47 PM
LOL @ aunt amy’s spinstertorium
February 28th, 2011 at 12:47 PM
Stop scaring the single dudes. BJs dont stop with marriage, anal does.
February 28th, 2011 at 12:47 PM
/runs to buy mixer from vending machine
February 28th, 2011 at 12:47 PM
depends on your area. if you get married in NJ, be prepared to have a wedding soley to impress the guests, the bride and groom are just accessories to show off the parent’s ability to throw an overpriced party.
February 28th, 2011 at 12:47 PM
I don’t think its anything to be sad over honestly. Just do you (literally) and sh*t will fall into place sooner or later.
/ unless you’re 50+, then its a lot harder
February 28th, 2011 at 12:47 PM
Just curious…is that as awkward as people make it seem like it is?
If you base your life and manhood on your paycheck then it could be. But if you are secure in who you are and in your relationship, then it really isn’t even an issue.
February 28th, 2011 at 12:48 PM
My wife and I don’t give a shit.
February 28th, 2011 at 12:48 PM
I had a cash bar at my wedding, thank you. I paid for beer and soft drinks. Wine and had alcohol was on your dime.
February 28th, 2011 at 12:48 PM
Stop scaring the single dudes. BJs dont stop with marriage, anal does.
This is WINNING.
February 28th, 2011 at 12:48 PM
Any kind of cash bar is a weak move. You pay for a gift and likely a hotel room, and possibly travel, drinks should absolutely be on the host.
Thankfully, only been to one that was cash bar. To no surprise, it was a Boston couple.
February 28th, 2011 at 12:49 PM
i thought this said “rum vending machine” at first.
a rum vending machine would be cool.
February 28th, 2011 at 12:49 PM
**I meant, not literally
February 28th, 2011 at 12:49 PM
This.
February 28th, 2011 at 12:50 PM
Notice how its all the single dudes complaining about cash bars. They have no fucking clue how god damn expensive open bars are.
February 28th, 2011 at 12:51 PM
Yep. Still get foreplay beejed, every time.
/counts blessings
that’s why it pays to shop.
On cash bars: dick move. Save up and have people drink free on you.
Another dick move? Money dances. WTF is that?
February 28th, 2011 at 12:51 PM
I wonder how many dudes here had thier woman actually request it before they even insisted.
February 28th, 2011 at 12:51 PM
i want an open bong at my wedding.
February 28th, 2011 at 12:51 PM
I had an open bar. I’m not complaining about having one. It was awesome.
February 28th, 2011 at 12:51 PM
Au contraire. If I had to pay for all my asshole buddies to drink for free, then they better reciprocate when they get hitched.
February 28th, 2011 at 12:51 PM
Any kind of cash bar is a weak move. You pay for a gift and likely a hotel room, and possibly travel, drinks should absolutely be on the host.
Skimp on the gifts then. Not sure if you are married Hernia, but if not wait until you see the price tag on the booze.
February 28th, 2011 at 12:52 PM
HA. My wedding was open bar. No other way to go.
February 28th, 2011 at 12:52 PM
haha, if you look at the numbers, alcohol can take 50-60% of the total cost of a venue. and no matter how hard you try, you will hardly eat the food or drink what you’re paying for.
February 28th, 2011 at 12:52 PM
Yeah, if you do open bars, you gotta cut costs from something else. Weddings are bloody expensive.
/ Brother got married; ungodly expenses
February 28th, 2011 at 12:53 PM
Exactly. It’s the only way to go. The rest of you suck.
February 28th, 2011 at 12:53 PM
Nope, $$ is $$. No worries at all.
February 28th, 2011 at 12:54 PM
Of the 5 close friends I have that have been in extended relationships or are married, 4 of them are outearned by their significant others. Women are starting to be more successful in sales roles. Pretty much all of them are attached to saleswomen. The one who isn’t is the only one making more than his SO.
February 28th, 2011 at 12:54 PM
Notice how its all the single dudes complaining about cash bars. They have no fucking clue how god damn expensive open bars are.
Considering that these are your friends, who likely spent on a gift plus suit plus any other expenses that may come along (travel, other food, parking, etc) I think it’s kind of a douche thing to then say “You want a drink? Pay for it.”
February 28th, 2011 at 12:54 PM
My mother in law pissed off at me when I got married because I didn’t want to spend an extra 1000 on candy during the reception. And she didn’t contribute anything to the budget at all.
February 28th, 2011 at 12:54 PM
I can’t wait till Mrs. Mizerle06 graduates residency and I get to find out first hand how truly awkward* it is.
*by awkward, I mean not awkward at all
February 28th, 2011 at 12:55 PM
I’m gonna have an open bar, but cash edibles.
February 28th, 2011 at 12:55 PM
I guess not all of us pull in the blogger’s salary. I wasnt going to go into debt for my wedding.
February 28th, 2011 at 12:57 PM
if they don’t have suits and are grown men that’s their own problem.
i get it with the gift, then again, it’s not like they sit at a table with grilled cheese and potato chips.
February 28th, 2011 at 12:57 PM
I mean seriously? Do none of you like beer or wine? You HAVE to have rum? Then fuck you.
February 28th, 2011 at 12:57 PM
Open bar is pretty standard with weddings. It’s included when you book almost any hall, so I dont see how this could not have one when you get married. The only question is do you go extra for the top flight stuff.
February 28th, 2011 at 12:57 PM
I’m quite aware. How often do you throw this kind of party? Hopefully only once. Make it a good one. Don’t skimp on the fair. That, and don’t invite 300 people.
February 28th, 2011 at 12:58 PM
Believe me, Miz, it’s all worth it in the end. Even though residency was brutal (for all involved)
February 28th, 2011 at 12:58 PM
We had an open bar because if we didn’t, my family and groomsmen would have torn us limb from limb like Maenads.
February 28th, 2011 at 12:59 PM
A general question. As much as I like her, I have been dating a girl for over a year now who, thought she has a very soft side, is absolutely hell bent on getting power and is unsettlingly attracted to it.
Your thoughts on women like that before they have even entered the work force?
February 28th, 2011 at 1:00 PM
Took me 5 years to out earn my wife. She’s a teacher, so she started at a higher base, while I have pay my dues climbing the corporate ladder. Last year we were pretty even, this year I’ll be a bit higher.
February 28th, 2011 at 1:01 PM
it’s way tougher on her than me. she’s in her last year too…got the fellowship coming up though.
February 28th, 2011 at 1:01 PM
That’s not a very nice description.
February 28th, 2011 at 1:02 PM
Based on my experience (thankfully from a distance), they will get fired from at least one job. B/c they will do something over the top, thinking it will catapult them into the next big job. I wish I could share a story about this, but it would take too long to explain it.
February 28th, 2011 at 1:02 PM
From my experience, all my family in NH it’s 50/50 open/cash bar. Getting married in NJ, it’s assumed to be open bar.
February 28th, 2011 at 1:03 PM
As much as I like her, I have been dating a girl for over a year now who, thought she has a very soft side, is absolutely hell bent on getting power and is unsettlingly attracted to it.
Ooohhh…leather and whips?
Your thoughts on women like that before they have even entered the work force?
Doesn’t matter. The real work experience will knock some sense into her. Or she’ll never hold a steady gig.
February 28th, 2011 at 1:03 PM
It’s about fucking time.
February 28th, 2011 at 1:03 PM
We were crazy enough to have our first kid just before residency. So it was crazy for all of us. I lived on 3 hours sleep for about 5 years.
February 28th, 2011 at 1:05 PM
is she Lex Luthor?
February 28th, 2011 at 1:05 PM
Whoever I marry’s gonna have to make more money than me. I’m not fuckin around with that alimony shit.
February 28th, 2011 at 1:05 PM
I figured. I think she’s more “into” power than she is at actually obtaining it (my original description was a bit of an exaggeration) if that makes any sense.
February 28th, 2011 at 1:05 PM
Miz – forgot to add one thing. Don’t let her toil in fellowships for too long. Some just keep sub-specializing for years on end. We still have one friend who is in her 9th year of residency/fellowship. Just can’t make up her mind.
February 28th, 2011 at 1:06 PM
Al – some of my wife’s fellow residents have kids. I can’t imagine having a baby during residency.
February 28th, 2011 at 1:07 PM
I think I over exaggerated to a large degree.
She just has moments when she’s really into the prospect of obtaining power. I’m used to dating weaker-willed girls I guess so I’m not used to it.
February 28th, 2011 at 1:08 PM
I’d say Dr.Doom.
February 28th, 2011 at 1:09 PM
Al – thanks for the advice. she knows exactly what she wants to do though and has known it since highschool or earlier (way before she ever met me). she almost changed her mind last year because the fellowship was another 2-3 years and that was major depressing to her, but I convinced her to do it because I was afraid she’d regret it way down the road.
February 28th, 2011 at 1:09 PM
I’m quite aware. How often do you throw this kind of party? Hopefully only once. Make it a good one. Don’t skimp on the fair. That, and don’t invite 300 people.
Wise wise words.
We’re inviting less than 150 people.