Dallas-Fort Worth Area Suffering Worst Stripper Shortage In Recent Memory
All, NFL, Strippers, Super Bowl, Super Bowl Road Trip January 28th. 2011, 2:45pm
With the Super Bowl just over a week away, people are flocking to the Dallas-Fort Worth area from all over the world. Businesses are expecting a boom, but some proprietors are worried that there aren’t enough strippers to fill all the laps of the Super Bowl week patrons. John Walsh, who manages Showtime Cabaret in Kennedale, is looking to bring on an extra 70 dancers for the big week and estimates that the area is short some 1,000 exotic dancers total. I think we’re going to need a telethon.
[MyFOX, Image via Getty]
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67 Responses to “Dallas-Fort Worth Area Suffering Worst Stripper Shortage In Recent Memory”
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January 28th, 2011 at 2:49 PM
Just don’t bring them in from New Orleans.
/shudders.
January 28th, 2011 at 2:49 PM
OH THE HORROR!
Those with a shortage must not have wanted to pay for top Vegas quality and got left in the cold.
January 28th, 2011 at 2:50 PM
Quick! Someone send a bus to Tampa Bay!
January 28th, 2011 at 2:51 PM
That picture is bliss.
January 28th, 2011 at 2:51 PM
(Insert Michael Irvin joke here)
January 28th, 2011 at 2:52 PM
If you can’t trust the math of a guy that runs a titty bar…..I mean, what do we have left as a society?
January 28th, 2011 at 2:53 PM
If the Cowboys were in the Super Bowl, Jerrah would have never let this happen.
January 28th, 2011 at 2:53 PM
Man his life veered in a different direction after America’s Most Wanted
January 28th, 2011 at 2:53 PM
If there is one thing I have learned in my years roaming this planet, it’s that men like bewbs.
January 28th, 2011 at 2:53 PM
The Asian girl is nice, but the rest are kind of skanky.
Either way, as long as there are enough hookers, I’m sure everything will be fine.
January 28th, 2011 at 2:54 PM
This is worrisome. If there arent enough strippers I’d guess there is probably an insufficient amount of cocaine as well.
January 28th, 2011 at 2:55 PM
demand for bewbs > supply of bewbs.
January 28th, 2011 at 2:55 PM
Mexico is just a hop, skip, and drug mule away.
January 28th, 2011 at 2:55 PM
Mike Price just put his super bowl tickets up on e-bay.
January 28th, 2011 at 2:55 PM
Home of the Cowboys though. Plenty to go around.
January 28th, 2011 at 2:56 PM
demand for bewbs > supply of bewbs.
This. And sadly it will ALWAYS be true.
January 28th, 2011 at 2:56 PM
Off topic, sorry. So I found the name of a guy in the department at a company I need to contact about a dispute my client has with them. I decide to google the guy. His name is Oscar Gutierrez. Turns out that is also Rey Mysterio Jr’s name. Random.
January 28th, 2011 at 2:57 PM
Don’t worry about the cocaine, Charlie Sheen is coming to Dallas on business.
January 28th, 2011 at 2:57 PM
the one on the top right has the dead eyes that strippers are so famous for.
January 28th, 2011 at 2:58 PM
Just don’t bring them in from New Orleans.
Ha ha…wait…fuck you!
I’m picturing a scene where a big-bellied club owner wearing a satin shirt that’s open, runs out into the street, wads of billowing cash in his hand, screaming “THERE’S NOT ENOUGH HOOKERS IN THIS TOWN! THERE’S NOT ENOUGH HOOKERS IN THIS TOWN!!!”
January 28th, 2011 at 2:58 PM
The invisible hand is always reaching for a bewb. Adam Smith said that once.
January 28th, 2011 at 2:58 PM
I just saw this story somewhere else with a baby orangutan attached to it.
January 28th, 2011 at 2:59 PM
I’m not interested brown brick weed or fake imitation pharmaceuticals.
/fuck Mexico
January 28th, 2011 at 2:59 PM
As Chairman of the Super Bowl XLV Host Committee this embarrassment falls squarely on the shoulders of Roger Staubach…unless Captain Comeback rallies late and gets some road beef to Dallas by early next week the whole event’s been a failure
January 28th, 2011 at 2:59 PM
link?
January 28th, 2011 at 2:59 PM
Which is why I say tiffany > debbie gibson
January 28th, 2011 at 2:59 PM
The center one is only a few steps away from doing doing porn.
January 28th, 2011 at 3:00 PM
That cancer patient hating Aaron Rodgers will most likely resort to either homicide or sodomy now for fun. Clay Matthews will corner an unsuspecting Texas undergrad in a dive bar bathroom in Dallas. Donald Driver will be kidnapping 12 year olds and stuffing them in his closet at the hotel. God only knows how many 7-Elevens Greg Jennings is going to knock over.
Dallas is doomed. These degenerate Packers need a place to raise hell. The Steelers will probably work a soup kitchen or something.
January 28th, 2011 at 3:01 PM
I read that as well.
January 28th, 2011 at 3:03 PM
Are you confusing this with top 5 heist movie “Any Which but Loose”
January 28th, 2011 at 3:04 PM
Liking bewbs doesn’t cancel out Tiff’s bolt-ons or the fact that musically Debbie shits better than Tiff eats.
January 28th, 2011 at 3:04 PM
Are you confusing this with top 5 heist movie “Any Which Butt Loose”
/fixed for these strippers starring in the porn parody version
January 28th, 2011 at 3:06 PM
Strippers have a nose for the cash and cocaine (see what I did there). Things will be fine by next week.
January 28th, 2011 at 3:06 PM
link?
What are you, making a name for yourself or something, miz?
January 28th, 2011 at 3:07 PM
All the strippers are probably in Hawaii for the Pro Bowl this week. Logistics will have this cleared up by Monday
January 28th, 2011 at 3:08 PM
Busted
January 28th, 2011 at 3:09 PM
The two people who actually went out for the game will have quite a bounty to choose from then it seems.
January 28th, 2011 at 3:09 PM
Burt Reynolds is a living legend.
January 28th, 2011 at 3:09 PM
Ha ha…wait…fuck you!
Sorry Fredo, NOLA had some of the ugliest strippers I’ve ever seen.
January 28th, 2011 at 3:10 PM
NHOH
January 28th, 2011 at 3:10 PM
Sorry Fredo, NOLA had some of the ugliest strippers I’ve ever seen.
Where did you go? French Quarter or to one of the outta the way clubs?
January 28th, 2011 at 3:11 PM
John Daly is -9 after 1!
January 28th, 2011 at 3:12 PM
Mike Florio has poisoned your mind
January 28th, 2011 at 3:12 PM
Liking bewbs doesn’t cancel out Tiff’s bolt-ons or the fact that musically Debbie shits better than Tiff eats.
Bolt-ons implies fake. I’m pretty sure Tiffany’s are real.
/and they are spectacular.
January 28th, 2011 at 3:12 PM
We know. You like your winters bone cooked just down the street by your daddys cousin.
January 28th, 2011 at 3:12 PM
There’s a reason they keep it dark in nudie bars.
/not a fan of the strippers
January 28th, 2011 at 3:13 PM
I thought they were fake, my bad. I stand by my support for Deb, even with the fantastic funbags on that hose hound.
/really pissed I got no dap for my Adam Smith joke
January 28th, 2011 at 3:13 PM
Where did you go? French Quarter or to one of the outta the way clubs?
French Quarter. We ventured out of the Quarter for normal bars, but stayed in the Quarter for the nudity. Poor choice as it turns out.
January 28th, 2011 at 3:16 PM
Only been a couple times for birthdays. I’m very much anti-strip club. Why the fuck would I pay all that money to girls that are just dancing when I can go to the bar and buy a girl 1-2 drinks and take her home at the end of the night? Makes no sense at all to me.
January 28th, 2011 at 3:18 PM
I chuckled, but not hard enough to hand out dap.
January 28th, 2011 at 3:18 PM
She looks beat in more than one way.
January 28th, 2011 at 3:18 PM
Big fan of Canadian strip clubs. Get a bigger bang for your buck.
January 28th, 2011 at 3:18 PM
I disagree with this portion, but your overall statement is very, very factual.
January 28th, 2011 at 3:18 PM
Fair enough. I could have used your decimal points to round out my total though.
January 28th, 2011 at 3:19 PM
Vancouver is a fun place.
January 28th, 2011 at 3:19 PM
New post
January 28th, 2011 at 3:20 PM
Big fan of Canadian strip clubs. Get a bigger bang for your buck.
Just stay out of the ones in Manitoba and Saskatchewan.
January 28th, 2011 at 3:22 PM
I’ve been keeping one tab open that has the home page that I keep refreshing and another tab for each post as it comes up.
/Free recent posts/comments
January 28th, 2011 at 3:23 PM
New post
Change places!
January 28th, 2011 at 3:24 PM
d/fw will be fine. their are plenty of harlots in the surrounding areas that will be “working through college” by the end of the weekend
January 28th, 2011 at 3:24 PM
Brad Clooney?
January 28th, 2011 at 3:24 PM
Who will sound out the Horn of Sluttery to summon the required number of strippers to DFW? Does Jerry do that?
January 28th, 2011 at 3:25 PM
January 28th, 2011 at 3:26 PM
Did that triumph of blogging ever get a post here?
January 28th, 2011 at 3:26 PM
Who will sound out the Horn of Sluttery to summon the required number of strippers to DFW? Does Jerry do that?
Oh he has his ways, his charm.
January 28th, 2011 at 3:28 PM
No, but I linked Awful Announcing’s response to that garbage. They ripped him apart and it was glorious.
January 28th, 2011 at 3:29 PM
The worst outcome of the whole thing was my enjoying a Gregg Doyel column that was written in response to Florio