Jason Whitlock on Pat Riley, the Heat & Strippers
Jason Whitlock on Riley’s Inevitable Return to Coaching: “I’m starting to think Pat Riley is as needy as a 24-year-old stripper, addicted to the drama, the dysfunction and the lust of wealthy men willing to make it rain … The Big Three free-agent decision is the equivalent of Kim Kardashian, Paris Hilton and Bristol Palin agreeing to film a porno. Check that. I’d support that project wholeheartedly and would sit through several one-hour, Jim Gray-hosted infomercials about how the deal came together.” Strippers and porn. How can you not love Jason Whitlock? And Phil Jackson’s quotes in the article are dead on. Stan Van Gundy should really just stick to looking fabulous rather than getting his nipple tassels in a bunch over the Zen Master making sense. [FoxSports; photo via Getty]
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November 24th, 2010 at 3:04 PM
This is proof that Whitlock takes his laptop into strip clubs.
November 24th, 2010 at 3:04 PM
That’s some funny stuff from Whitlock. Bravo.
November 24th, 2010 at 3:04 PM
Riles, looking like a young Chest Rockwell in that photo.
/keeping topic on porn
November 24th, 2010 at 3:10 PM
How can you not love Jason Whitlock?
Because Bristol Palin and Paris Hilton are gross.
November 24th, 2010 at 3:12 PM
So are hairy nipples.
November 24th, 2010 at 3:13 PM
Cry Baby James can’t do this by himself!
November 24th, 2010 at 3:13 PM
I’m ready to get shitbombed
November 24th, 2010 at 3:15 PM
This. Looks like you guys have been doing some work today.
Fuckin Bristol Palin is gross. The only reason I’d stick it to her mom is because she looks like she could use a good hate fuck.
November 24th, 2010 at 3:15 PM
Was their a consensus reached on the worthiness of getting drunk the night before Thanksgiving feast?
/knows that obviously there was no consensus
November 24th, 2010 at 3:15 PM
Whoever does that When I Think About You song needs to be drowned in shitwater.
Stupid work radio.
/can’t wait to go into the field again
November 24th, 2010 at 3:16 PM
The introduction of the Big Three violated just about every core principle Riley holds sacred.
The only core value I have ever associated with Riles is the drive to make himself look good at any and all expense.
November 24th, 2010 at 3:17 PM
This, but I would have went with that horrible fucking “Hey Soul Sister” song. The guy from Train should be beaten with a rubber hose.
November 24th, 2010 at 3:18 PM
Fuckin Bristol Palin is gross. The only reason I’d stick it to her mom is because she looks like she could use a good hate fuck.
It’s really quite fascinating how much Lisa Ann and Sarah Palin look alike.
*note: do NOT google Lisa Ann at work.
November 24th, 2010 at 3:18 PM
A hungover thanksgiving sucks because you don’t appreciate the food nearly as much. Everything’s off if its a true “meet up with the old band” night.
November 24th, 2010 at 3:18 PM
The only core value I have ever associated with Riles is the drive to make himself look good at any and all expense.
this.
November 24th, 2010 at 3:20 PM
See, I go to my parents every Sunday for dinner and my mom is always making good shit, so Thanksgiving has never been that big of a deal for me.
November 24th, 2010 at 3:20 PM
The Lion’s start at 1230 tomorrow. I plan on still being drunk when the game begins.
November 24th, 2010 at 3:20 PM
I endorse this.
November 24th, 2010 at 3:21 PM
Check out whose Nailin’ Palin when you get home.
Fuck. I have to work but that shit isn’t stopping me from making this truth.
November 24th, 2010 at 3:21 PM
Fun fact: Lisa Ann made a porn as the character Sara Paylin or something like that. No, I haven’t seen it. Yes, it was somewhat news-y around the 2008 election.
November 24th, 2010 at 3:21 PM
This made me laugh out loud (I’m still in the office). And yeah, it’s absolutely fine to be drunk and/or hungover on Thanksgiving is if you’re a Lions fan.
November 24th, 2010 at 3:22 PM
Isn’t Bristol Palin, like, 16-17?
I’m about to get drunk at work…uh, on the clock. UK’s playing, I have shit to do after pregame.
November 24th, 2010 at 3:22 PM
Well, PLSK beat me to it.
November 24th, 2010 at 3:22 PM
Well it is true, I spend the other 364 days joustng with BeetleJuice for the last can of beans.
November 24th, 2010 at 3:23 PM
PL, how often do you get drunk (or at least a buzz) while on the job? I’ve always wondered that about bartenders….
November 24th, 2010 at 3:23 PM
is she the one from Bangin Palin?
November 24th, 2010 at 3:23 PM
Tomorrow is not going to be a good day for us Lions fans.
November 24th, 2010 at 3:25 PM
Isn’t Bristol Palin, like, 16-17?
I’m about to get drunk at work…uh, on the clock. UK’s playing, I have shit to do after pregame.
She’s gotta be 18 by now, doesn’t she? Brick Hardcastle was supposed to go off to college when he was knocking her up.
November 24th, 2010 at 3:25 PM
Leach is suing ESPN and no word of it on their home page.
Lovely
November 24th, 2010 at 3:25 PM
Who the F is playing quarterback for the Lions tomorrow?
November 24th, 2010 at 3:26 PM
Fun fact: Lisa Ann made a porn as the character Sara Paylin or something like that. No, I haven’t seen it. Yes, it was somewhat news-y around the 2008 election.
That’s what I was referencing NDub. It’s crazy, all Lisa Ann had to do was put on rimless glasses and put her hair up and, boom, Sarah Palin.
November 24th, 2010 at 3:26 PM
Scott Mitchell?
November 24th, 2010 at 3:26 PM
Leach is suing ESPN and no word of it on their home page.
Lovely
I’m sure the ombudsman will have some incisive thoughts on this.
November 24th, 2010 at 3:27 PM
Are we really discussing a porn parody from 2 years ago? Perhaps my dick is only into new releases.
November 24th, 2010 at 3:27 PM
I see what you did there.
November 24th, 2010 at 3:27 PM
Speaking of 18 Miley Cyrus is 18 as of yesterday. O/U on how many years until there are nude cell phone pictures of her? 2.5 sounds about right to me.
November 24th, 2010 at 3:28 PM
id watch that.
like there is anyone in the league that would not of done the same.
November 24th, 2010 at 3:28 PM
At least she didn’t win DWTS!
/nice legs, though
November 24th, 2010 at 3:28 PM
More than i like to admit, brah. Always get a little buzz goin on, never really get trashed unless it’s one of those slow ass tuesdays in the middle of February or something. I’ll probably over serve myself a little tonight though.
November 24th, 2010 at 3:28 PM
I’d put TBL’s mortgage on the under.
November 24th, 2010 at 3:29 PM
Shaun Hill. He was boooooooorn freeeeee
November 24th, 2010 at 3:29 PM
The Big Three free-agent decision is the equivalent of Kim Kardashian, Paris Hilton and Bristol Palin agreeing to film a porno.
No. No it is not.
November 24th, 2010 at 3:29 PM
Wait… wait a minute! By GAWD, THAT’S DAN ORLOVSKY’S MUSIC!!
/runs out the back of the end zone
November 24th, 2010 at 3:29 PM
They’re probably already out there. She’s engaged to a 26 year old, isn’t she? I was reading a site a while back (surprisingly not found on this one) that said she was planning to get wed on her 18th birthday. I guess that fell through.
/Still hard to decide if I’d take Miley over Selena.
November 24th, 2010 at 3:30 PM
Party in my fuckin pants!
November 24th, 2010 at 3:30 PM
/tries to get directions to PLSK’s job
November 24th, 2010 at 3:31 PM
Asante Samuel was fined forty large for that hit on Hagan. Apparently, if one of the Eagles beat writers is to be believed, it was initially fifty, but Reid called the league office and talked them down.
I… uh, didn’t know you could do that.
November 24th, 2010 at 3:31 PM
/Still hard to decide if I’d take Miley over Selena.
If Miley was just some chick at the mall you wouldn’t even consider capturing her and taking her back to your lair.
November 24th, 2010 at 3:31 PM
well that was some unfortunate timing on my post’s part. hahahaha
November 24th, 2010 at 3:32 PM
I know, but she’s not. She’s got that Disney money. I’d probably go Selena.
November 24th, 2010 at 3:32 PM
I remember everyone made a big deal when the Olsen twins reached 18 and look how those two trolls worked out.
I saw pictures of her at her party yesterday and she actually looked real good. Maybe aging will do some good for her.
November 24th, 2010 at 3:33 PM
Maybe aging will do some good for her.
It’s how it works with scotch.
November 24th, 2010 at 3:34 PM
I keep on hearing this Demi Lovato is a freak in bed.
November 24th, 2010 at 3:34 PM
The Olsen twins looked like crap even when they were on their own shitty show on TGIF.
November 24th, 2010 at 3:36 PM
Looks like a young Lisa Ann.
November 24th, 2010 at 3:36 PM
Demi Lovato loves the coke, from what I hear.
November 24th, 2010 at 3:37 PM
Ha. VY sent Fisher a text saying he was sorry and wishing the team luck and such. What a puss! He couldn’t even meet Fisher face to face.
November 24th, 2010 at 3:38 PM
Does anyone else’s family have a nice dinner the night before thanksgiving? My immediate family started doing surf and turf the night before b/c not everyone goes to the same thanksgiving anymore (work/marriage/etc).
November 24th, 2010 at 3:38 PM
Is Lovato the cutter?
November 24th, 2010 at 3:38 PM
Stan Van Gundy should really just stick to looking fabulous rather than getting his nipple tassels in a bunch over the Zen Master making sense.
You write this before or after Rachel McAdams nipples?
November 24th, 2010 at 3:38 PM
No Ballin’ today???
November 24th, 2010 at 3:38 PM
PL takes it full circle.
November 24th, 2010 at 3:39 PM
Looks like a young Lisa Ann.
Let’s hope that if Demi Lovato ever opts for implants, they turn out better than Lisa Ann’s.
/she’s got googly eye nipples.
November 24th, 2010 at 3:39 PM
Ha. VY sent Fisher a text saying he was sorry and wishing the team luck and such. What a puss! He couldn’t even meet Fisher face to face.
He isn’t allowed in the building.
November 24th, 2010 at 3:39 PM
False. WHile her face isn’t great, her body is smoking and has been since she was like 16. Neck down she’s A+ all the way. That said, I’d take Selena too. I also like the blonde girl on Miley’s show
November 24th, 2010 at 3:40 PM
I agree. Or at least call the guy. I swear this generations kids are gonna be a bunch of dimwitted social retards. This texting shit is getting ridiculous.
November 24th, 2010 at 3:40 PM
WHile her face isn’t great, her body is smoking and has been since she was like 16. Neck down she’s A+ all the way.
This is the most falsity falsey false thing ever written by anyone ever.
November 24th, 2010 at 3:40 PM
GF’s family does it Friday night, but same idea. It only works if everyone lives close to begin with though
November 24th, 2010 at 3:41 PM
Are you arguing bad body, or good face?
November 24th, 2010 at 3:42 PM
This is the most falsity falsey false thing ever written by anyone ever.
I don’t know TST, she’s not bad from this angle (from the neck down): http://www.idontlikeyouinthatway.com/pictures/20101123/Miley%20Cyrus%2018/miley%20cyrus%20hacked%20email%20pics%203.html
November 24th, 2010 at 3:42 PM
Maybe someone with a journalism major can better explain how Paris Hilton, Bristol Palin and Kim Kardashian making a porno works as an analogy to LeBron, D Wade and Chris Bosh playing basketball together. Are we supposed to assume that Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton are two of the most beautiful, most sought after women in the world?
November 24th, 2010 at 3:42 PM
Its not a bad body, but an A+? Your standards are disturbing.
November 24th, 2010 at 3:43 PM
TST is right on here. Miley Cyrus’ body looks like she has 12 elbows and 14 kneecaps. Awkward as fuck. Not sexy.
November 24th, 2010 at 3:43 PM
her dad is Billy Ray. it’s not going to be pleasant.
November 24th, 2010 at 3:44 PM
I don’t know TST, she’s not bad from this angle (from the neck down):
There is no way she doesn’t have nude cell phone pics already. Just a matter of time til those surface.
November 24th, 2010 at 3:44 PM
Maybe someone with a journalism major can better explain how Paris Hilton, Bristol Palin and Kim Kardashian making a porno works as an analogy to LeBron, D Wade and Chris Bosh playing basketball together.
It would be easier to explain the necessity of human suffering than to explain that analogy.
November 24th, 2010 at 3:45 PM
I don’t have a journalism degree but, clearly, LeBron is the most beautiful, sought after woman on the planet
November 24th, 2010 at 3:45 PM
Well I think the most obvious thing is that we agree that Bristol is Bosh.
November 24th, 2010 at 3:45 PM
Well you have to realize who wrote the article.
November 24th, 2010 at 3:46 PM
Well I think the most obvious thing is that we agree that Bristol is Bosh.
She’s the Rupaul of big men.
November 24th, 2010 at 3:46 PM
I am going to say way under on that. if you would have said sex tape that would have been more like it.
November 24th, 2010 at 3:46 PM
Thats what she claims she went to rehab for, but it seems agreed upon by people she did it because of drugs and alcohol. She just said it because if its drugs, then she gets the boot from Disney, but if its cutting then it makes it look like she has a serious issue that young women everywhere deal with every day.
And she also like girls as well.
November 24th, 2010 at 3:46 PM
Or here: http://www.inquisitr.com/24211/miley-cyrus-bikini-pictures-bahamas/
Or even here: http://www.thesuperficial.com/miley_cyrus_in_a_bikini_2-05-2010
Great stems in the last one
November 24th, 2010 at 3:47 PM
i don’t even know what this means or how you came to this, but i got a hearty laugh.
November 24th, 2010 at 3:47 PM
Its not a bad body, but an A+? Your standards are disturbing.
If you’re talking to me, then I didn’t say she was an A+ either. I’m not sure what teachers you’ve had in the past that ‘not bad’ is equal to A+.
If you weren’t talking to me, then uh, Happy Thanksgiving.
November 24th, 2010 at 3:47 PM
Just finished off our potluck lunch at work…these Asians can bring the ruckus with their home cooked shit.
/same with the dude whose wife is a pastry chef
November 24th, 2010 at 3:48 PM
And she also like girls as well.
Go on…
November 24th, 2010 at 3:48 PM
Lovato just won
/assumes cornholio is right about those things
November 24th, 2010 at 3:48 PM
@Taguchi: Wrote it before. ‘Twas fate, for it is nipple day.
November 24th, 2010 at 3:49 PM
Hands off, he taken.
/sorry, i had too
November 24th, 2010 at 3:49 PM
Three NBA players who are friends deciding to go play on the same team in the sport they already engage in is like two women who got famous for sex tapes and the child of a political candidate who got knocked up deciding to enter the world of legit porn on a one time only basis to make and sell a sex tape together because Whitlock liked that sentence. And Kardashian is Wallace.
November 24th, 2010 at 3:50 PM
why do I feel like Chris Hanson is going to show up at my office any minute now for looking at that?
November 24th, 2010 at 3:50 PM
I’m thankful for PLSK. He just linked to the site I was thinking of but was too lazy to try & remember
November 24th, 2010 at 3:50 PM
Spurs up 2-0! Going to the round of 16!
November 24th, 2010 at 3:50 PM
If you’re talking to me, then I didn’t say she was an A+ either. I’m not sure what teachers you’ve had in the past that ‘not bad’ is equal to A+.
If you weren’t talking to me, then uh, Happy Thanksgiving.
wasn’t talking to you, other dude who said “A+ body.” Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours.
November 24th, 2010 at 3:51 PM
Where Wallace at, Gooch?
November 24th, 2010 at 3:53 PM
no…we’re assuming dwade, lebron and bosh are dirty, skanky whores.
November 24th, 2010 at 3:53 PM
Isn’t Riley a team executive. Wouldn’t he have a say on this matter? Didn’t the Heat also have a big celebration for Shaq’s arrival? So, in Whitlock’s mind, Riley would make everything better by telling James and Bosh to shut the fuck up, I guess assuming that they would immediately do it because he said so, like his name is Deebo. Whitlock is a hack.
November 24th, 2010 at 3:55 PM
In reference to the original comment, I stand by my statement that in terms of seeing girls at the mall, she’s A+. Plus, she’s only now 18, she won’t peak until 23-24.
Shocking result without van der vaart
November 24th, 2010 at 3:56 PM
She apparently gets drunk and likes to take a guy and girl with her to her room for a threesome. There are rumors she used to be in a relationship with Selena Gomez, but I dont know if I believe that. Either way, she is a sex freak.
One of the few things I actually know anything about. Sadly.
November 24th, 2010 at 3:56 PM
Whores getting together for a slumber party gangbang. Makes perfect sense.
November 24th, 2010 at 3:57 PM
D-Wade did get sued for giving his old lady the clap or something, right?
November 24th, 2010 at 3:59 PM
We get it, Whitlock. You hate your job so you just throw shit on the wall like a Paris-Kim-Bristol porn reference and see what sticks. But at some point you need to come to the realization that not everyone who sees your shitty writing is dumb enough to think you sound intelligent or funny… or that you’re even making a valid point.
November 24th, 2010 at 3:59 PM
She apparently gets drunk and likes to take a guy and girl with her to her room for a threesome. There are rumors she used to be in a relationship with Selena Gomez, but I dont know if I believe that. Either way, she is a sex freak.
/google to make sure she’s 18
//confirmation
Awesome.
November 24th, 2010 at 3:59 PM
Is it five o clock yet?
November 24th, 2010 at 4:00 PM
I don’t know about that – Bremen is not that great this season and Spurs are playing at home. Tottenham is good, I don’t know why people can’t wrap their heads around it.
November 24th, 2010 at 4:01 PM
Where are you getting this?
November 24th, 2010 at 4:01 PM
Is it five o clock yet?
3 more hours and no turkey to look forward to.
/here’s a good song to waste 3.5 minutes.
November 24th, 2010 at 4:02 PM
Disney star turned porn star has a nice ring to it and is something i can endorse.
November 24th, 2010 at 4:03 PM
I used to cover entertainment for a few years. I still know a few people and they tell me what they hear when I see them.
November 24th, 2010 at 4:04 PM
Didnt some Miss America or Miss USA turn to porn?
November 24th, 2010 at 4:04 PM
Is there linkage for this?
November 24th, 2010 at 4:04 PM
It’s not that people can’t wrap their heads around the fact that they’re good, it’s that until they don’t choke it away, people will continue to be skeptical. This is what Tottenham does, they start off great and then fade away to a 5th or 6th place finish.
November 24th, 2010 at 4:05 PM
Cornholio, I think you should write a blind item column for TBL
November 24th, 2010 at 4:07 PM
I liked it when Miss USA and Miss Teen USA were having a wacky drug-fueled lesbian affair and then they had to both apologize for it. I think that’s the way the story went. They were corrupting each other. I bet they weren’t good enough actors for Spencer to care but I remember those girls being hot, too
November 24th, 2010 at 4:07 PM
Make a Disney Stars Sexual Playoff and you’re on the payroll!
/seriously though, good shit
November 24th, 2010 at 4:08 PM
Well it would never happen that young. If it were to happen soon it would be a disney star from the 90′s. Aguilera or Spears or something
November 24th, 2010 at 4:09 PM
That iCarly girl from Nick looks like she lives a rough life.
November 24th, 2010 at 4:12 PM
Regina Spektor does something to me
November 24th, 2010 at 4:13 PM
Regina Spektor does something to me
Karen O > Florence Welch > Regina Spektor
November 24th, 2010 at 4:14 PM
I have horrible news, Goose just died.
November 24th, 2010 at 4:15 PM
Thank you ManCity for those delicious Miley pics. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.
November 24th, 2010 at 4:16 PM
Mav’s about to lose his edge, isn’t he?
November 24th, 2010 at 4:20 PM
Painful to watch. =(
November 24th, 2010 at 4:20 PM
In terms of… musical talent? Definitely not looks, right.
November 24th, 2010 at 4:24 PM
In terms of… musical talent? Definitely not looks, right.
Musical talent.
/and looks
//Karen O does something to me, I can’t explain it
November 24th, 2010 at 4:27 PM
Where has Fiona Apple gone? She was like a much more talented, crazier, 90′s alternative music version of Lady Gaga.
November 24th, 2010 at 4:28 PM
Where has Fiona Apple gone? She was like a much more talented, crazier, 90’s alternative music version of Lady Gaga.
…
…
…
…
…
(lights a cigarette)
(leaves)
November 24th, 2010 at 4:29 PM
Soooo, no more posts today?
She walked into a rather strong gust of wind and hasn’t been seen since.
November 24th, 2010 at 4:29 PM
nice, TSTNwZ.
November 24th, 2010 at 4:30 PM
…
…
…
…
…
Dammit man, put that away.
November 24th, 2010 at 4:34 PM
Are we done?
November 24th, 2010 at 4:35 PM
Kelli Mccarty. from that to Passions to softcore to one hardcore flick.
November 24th, 2010 at 4:36 PM
I guess the day is done here.
November 24th, 2010 at 4:38 PM
I’m still here… fucking hourly job. I hate my life.
November 24th, 2010 at 4:38 PM
I guess the day is done here.
Power Rankings are up.