[UPDATE] DIVORCE! Tony Parker Sent Hundreds of Texts to a Woman, and Eva Longoria is Pissed
1-liner, All, Athletes and Celebrities, NBA November 17th. 2010, 9:49am
Eva Longoria: Yesterday, her and Tony Parker were getting a divorce … then they weren’t … and today … Us Weekly reports that Eva Longoria found hundreds of texts Parker had sent to a female friend. [UPDATE: Longoria filed divorce papers today, says People Magazine.] No word on the divorce … yet (“plans to file” doesn’t count). Right now, she’s just feeling “betrayed.” Way to ruin the Spurs’ 8-1 start, Tony. Wonder if the media in Texas will ask him about it tonight before or after the game with Chicago? Calling Derrick Rose’s line now, even though they played last night (and won): 35 points, 13 assists.
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November 17th, 2010 at 9:50 AM
Either delete the texts or, if your s. other checks phone bills, get a burner. It’s not rocket science.
November 17th, 2010 at 9:53 AM
Another dumb athlete. Of course, why would any wife expect their NBA husband to be faithful?
November 17th, 2010 at 9:56 AM
But, in Tony’s defense, there are thousands of Eva doppelgangers running around this city.
November 17th, 2010 at 9:58 AM
What’s the line? “No matter how hot a woman is, there is a man somewhere that is tired of her shit?” Too bad Tony didn’t have the Kirilenko deal.
November 17th, 2010 at 9:58 AM
You know what they say…for every hot woman out there, there’s a man who’s sick to death of her.
November 17th, 2010 at 9:59 AM
Ha…great minds, cleet.
November 17th, 2010 at 10:00 AM
Indeed Hoss.
November 17th, 2010 at 10:01 AM
I always thought Vanessa Marcil was hotter.
November 17th, 2010 at 10:01 AM
so TMZ was wrong? wow had to be the first time ever
November 17th, 2010 at 10:02 AM
Phone companies should start offering the ‘cheat on your wife’ plan to athletes. Texts automatically deleted after 24 hours, nothing shows up on the bill except calls to the wife and employer and 900 numbers are free.
November 17th, 2010 at 10:02 AM
They’re placing the blame on the county courthouse. Or that’s the scuttlebutt, at least.
November 17th, 2010 at 10:03 AM
how fucking hard is it to delete some texts? damn, if you are going to attempt to cheat on your wife you are already trying to be sneaky. dumbass.
November 17th, 2010 at 10:03 AM
First time I’ve ever seen that middle picture. Splendid selection, TBL.
I know it’s easy to say this from afar, but if I’m a pro athlete, I’m not getting married. The temptation is everywhere. We should learn this from Tiger and now Tony. Just plow as many broads as possible while you’re unmarried and without kids, then when it’s all over and you’re retired, settle down.
November 17th, 2010 at 10:03 AM
My Co worker has 3 phones. Nuff said
November 17th, 2010 at 10:04 AM
They still show up on the phone bill. I know, because I got a nasty call from a husband a couple days ago asking if I was sleeping with his wife. I am.
November 17th, 2010 at 10:05 AM
They’re placing the blame on the county courthouse. Or that’s the scuttlebutt, at least.
about to say Harvey has multiple sources
November 17th, 2010 at 10:05 AM
Este.
November 17th, 2010 at 10:05 AM
Sanders the homewrecker. How did the phone call go?
November 17th, 2010 at 10:06 AM
George Brett agrees.
November 17th, 2010 at 10:06 AM
Pneumonia my ass…..
November 17th, 2010 at 10:07 AM
He wasn’t happy. In my defense, she basically jumped me outside my gym and I didn’t know she was married. At first. And I feel really bad about it. So there’s that. I’m a bit of a scumbag, but not a total scumbag.
November 17th, 2010 at 10:07 AM
Just plow as many broads as possible while you’re unmarried and without kids,
I’m pretty sure you just summed up Shawn Kemp’s plan, with Cromartie and Henry both also used.
November 17th, 2010 at 10:08 AM
sounds like maybe its not the athlete that is dumb.
November 17th, 2010 at 10:08 AM
I was kidding Sanders. You actually confessed?
November 17th, 2010 at 10:09 AM
What is the 3rd one for?
November 17th, 2010 at 10:09 AM
jumped you outside of the gym? cmon more to the story
November 17th, 2010 at 10:10 AM
Husband’s pissed he now knows how he caught the Pneumonia.
November 17th, 2010 at 10:10 AM
/grabs popcorn
//waits for Steamy Workouts, the bsanders story
November 17th, 2010 at 10:10 AM
Husband’s pissed he now knows how he caught the Pneumonia
lmao
November 17th, 2010 at 10:11 AM
drug running.
November 17th, 2010 at 10:11 AM
Nah, he left me a voicemail and she later texted me saying he knew what was up. So he made her call me and tell me “it’s over” while he was on the phone so he could hear. It was kind of funny. I mean, incredibly sad for them and everything, but also darkly funny.
November 17th, 2010 at 10:11 AM
I can’t keep up career high. Its actually quite annoying when trying to reach him.
November 17th, 2010 at 10:11 AM
Whats a burner?
And booooooo Sanders boooooooooooooo
November 17th, 2010 at 10:12 AM
sanders: That dude didn’t try to fight you?
November 17th, 2010 at 10:12 AM
Maybe he got tired of looking at her without makeup?
November 17th, 2010 at 10:13 AM
Jump off for the jump off.
November 17th, 2010 at 10:13 AM
Marlo Stanfield is not impressed.
November 17th, 2010 at 10:13 AM
/high fives Vlad
November 17th, 2010 at 10:13 AM
Well if you need to sell some redcaps or dem wmd’s you get a burner.
November 17th, 2010 at 10:14 AM
I knew there was a reason I wasn’t a fan of her.
November 17th, 2010 at 10:14 AM
He’s apparently a really nice guy. And he works out at the same place so I’ve seen him before. I’m not very coordinated so he could probably kick my ass, but he doesn’t know that and he’s a lot smaller, which is probably why he doesn’t want to fight me. Or he realizes that won’t solve anything, plus she probably told him I wasn’t aware of the whole “marriage” thing and that she instigated it. At least that’s what I tell myself to not feel so shitty.
November 17th, 2010 at 10:14 AM
Ha! My girlfriend made me do that in highschool, call the girl I banging and tell her it was “over” while she listened. Good times.
November 17th, 2010 at 10:14 AM
What I will never… EVER… understand is how these dudes do not get another line and have the bill sent to the Arena or place where the practice facility is.
November 17th, 2010 at 10:15 AM
That’s hillarious. Clue to Big Bird: you’re wife doesn’t like you.
November 17th, 2010 at 10:15 AM
I love the way you guys answer a serious question with more vague references. It’s awesome.
November 17th, 2010 at 10:15 AM
Awkward…..
So….you still gonna hit it?
November 17th, 2010 at 10:16 AM
Noooooooo!!!!!!!!
November 17th, 2010 at 10:16 AM
Brett Favre approved!
November 17th, 2010 at 10:16 AM
Or a pay as you go phone
November 17th, 2010 at 10:17 AM
CJ, burner phones are ones you can get at wal-mart that you can dispose of easily and just go get a new one. Change your number and stuff. That way, the po-leece can’t track you.
November 17th, 2010 at 10:17 AM
CJ, 2nd cell phone. usually a pay-as-you-go so there is no paperwork.
November 17th, 2010 at 10:17 AM
$500 says he is going to try and spot you the next time you bench press.
November 17th, 2010 at 10:17 AM
Virgin mobile is your best friend if you have a goomah.
November 17th, 2010 at 10:18 AM
I don’t think so. She still texts me from her work number, but it just seems like added stress I don’t really want.
November 17th, 2010 at 10:18 AM
What is the 3rd one for?
That’s a typo.
November 17th, 2010 at 10:18 AM
So THAT’S what happened to Stafon Johnson…..
November 17th, 2010 at 10:19 AM
That’s some awkward shit, sanders. Hopefully you won’t need a spot and end up like Stafon Johnson.
November 17th, 2010 at 10:20 AM
Typo? Nope
November 17th, 2010 at 10:20 AM
Or you could, you know, not cheat on your girl.
November 17th, 2010 at 10:21 AM
Damn it Sanders. Couldn’t keep it on the down low…
November 17th, 2010 at 10:21 AM
Or just get out of the relationship before you start banging other people.
November 17th, 2010 at 10:21 AM
/vagueified’d
/snoop’d
November 17th, 2010 at 10:22 AM
Why not go paperless? Save the world and no paper trail… unless she checks the online account.
November 17th, 2010 at 10:22 AM
I mean, of course that is number 1. But still, if you are going to fuck that up, be smart about it.
November 17th, 2010 at 10:22 AM
Haha. I feel bad. I’ve never cheated on anybody before. Been cheated on, but never done it. Never been “the other guy,” either. It feels crappy.
November 17th, 2010 at 10:22 AM
Buzz Bissenger must have snorted three eight balls this morning. He is out of control on the twitter this morning.
November 17th, 2010 at 10:23 AM
You know whats good for stress? quite the catch-22
November 17th, 2010 at 10:24 AM
/high fives CJ
November 17th, 2010 at 10:24 AM
It has to be awkward at the gym. I’m not even sure it would be ok to talk to the guy. Just watch your back
November 17th, 2010 at 10:24 AM
and then tea bag you.
November 17th, 2010 at 10:24 AM
I’d shoot you both and put you out of my misery.
November 17th, 2010 at 10:24 AM
The problem is you saw the other guy’s face. What you got to do is imagine that he is a big enough scum bag to deserve you pipin’ down his girl. That’s how you numb those “morals” and deal with that “conscience”.
November 17th, 2010 at 10:25 AM
i’d eat to corn out of her poo.
November 17th, 2010 at 10:25 AM
sanders: we often think with the wrong head
November 17th, 2010 at 10:26 AM
Seriously. That just seems so much easier than dealing with the stress of lying and all that phone crap.
November 17th, 2010 at 10:26 AM
. Been cheated on, but never done it. Never been “the other guy,” either. It feels crappy.
the thing about being cheated on is that you really don;t know if you have, unless you actually know. i have been the other guy a few times, never a friend, though have been acquainted. i too have an empty black soul
/rolls egg with long fingernails
//angel heart’d
November 17th, 2010 at 10:26 AM
Sanders, I can get the part where you didn’t know she was married. Now if you say you’d do it again knowing that she was married would really make you a fucking scumbag.
/has been a victim of this shit
//marriage broke up cause of this shit
///taking it out on some anonymous internet guy.
November 17th, 2010 at 10:27 AM
I’m gonna call this The Four Loko Philosophy.
November 17th, 2010 at 10:27 AM
Phone companies should start offering the ‘cheat on your wife’ plan to athletes. Texts automatically deleted after 24 hours, nothing shows up on the bill except calls to the wife and employer and 900 numbers are free.
SC: its called http://www.ashleymadison.com
Bsanders: sounds like the dude is a cuckhold. You’re gonna be invited over to bang her while he’s watching in the closet
November 17th, 2010 at 10:29 AM
Yes!!!
November 17th, 2010 at 10:29 AM
anyone see this Anthony Bourdain with Snoop from the wire on it? She wasn’t acting.
November 17th, 2010 at 10:29 AM
Lol jpq
November 17th, 2010 at 10:29 AM
LOL. JPQ, shit you not, she just texted me saying that he just agreed to try out an “open marriage.” This gets weirder by the second. I think I might just try and get out while I’m ahead and still have some shred of decency left.
November 17th, 2010 at 10:30 AM
the duck blind. a classic move.
November 17th, 2010 at 10:30 AM
Another victory for Pussy Galore!
/Whitlock’d
November 17th, 2010 at 10:31 AM
LOL. JPQ, shit you not, she just texted me saying that he just agreed to try out an “open marriage.” This gets weirder by the second. I think I might just try and get out while I’m ahead and still have some shred of decency left.
is there any penicillin in your medicine cabinet? Because if it doesn’t now, it’s probably going to hurt when you pee tomorrow morning.
November 17th, 2010 at 10:31 AM
Mrs.Christie doesn’t look so insane now, does she?
November 17th, 2010 at 10:31 AM
or: facebook.
it’s all bad news. had a friend from college ping me out of the blue, she wanted to get together and hang out, remember the good times. turns out her husband cheated on her and she wanted something more than coffee. i blocked her after taht.
that modern family episode was awkward to watch with my wife since i didn’t find it funny…at all.
November 17th, 2010 at 10:31 AM
sanders: I’m all for brosephs getting some tail. Especially strange tail. But if I was you, I’d get out now. You hit it. Now quit it.
November 17th, 2010 at 10:32 AM
LOL. JPQ, shit you not, she just texted me saying that he just agreed to try out an “open marriage.” This gets weirder by the second. I think I might just try and get out while I’m ahead and still have some shred of decency left.
I’m the Nostradamus of sex
November 17th, 2010 at 10:32 AM
Yeah, I think that’s really the only play here.
November 17th, 2010 at 10:32 AM
sanders – sounds like a plot to get you both together in the same room so he can shoot you both.
/what I would do
November 17th, 2010 at 10:32 AM
If you ladies weren’t so attracted to a taken man, this wouldn’t be a problem.
No, I’ve never cheated. I have been cheated on.
/cries with Sanders
November 17th, 2010 at 10:33 AM
Run, run for your life young Sanders. Here let me distract you, what is the scouting report on Dakota Blue Richards?
November 17th, 2010 at 10:33 AM
Run.
November 17th, 2010 at 10:34 AM
Though, you leaving really depends on how good the sex was. Amiright?
November 17th, 2010 at 10:34 AM
/steve mcnair’d
//too soon?
November 17th, 2010 at 10:35 AM
Good friend was banging a married woman for a long time, at least 6 months. He knew. He eventually cut her off. Now she drives by his house at least once a week. Sends him blank text messages “on accident”, presumably hoping he replies.
November 17th, 2010 at 10:35 AM
not too soon.
/cause it was justified
November 17th, 2010 at 10:36 AM
I dunno, I mean, I really think I’d just rather be involved with someone who isn’t married and involved in some kind of marital experiment. I’m gonna cut my losses.
November 17th, 2010 at 10:36 AM
you seem like a good dude bsanders, but you should feel like a scumbag.
/she should feel way worse though
November 17th, 2010 at 10:38 AM
Eh. I’m not a bad guy, really, and if I told you the story of how it began I’d come out more sympathetic, but the moral of the story is I messed up and now is the time to get out.
November 17th, 2010 at 10:40 AM
at least you are smart enough to get out now. hell, i’d probably start working out at a different time than normal.
November 17th, 2010 at 10:40 AM
I dated a married woman for about a year. Though technically married, her and the hubby were separated and going through a long, drawn-out divorce . That part was kind of weird since they had no kids, but he actually asked for spousal support from her since she made more money.
/no scumbug
//at least I don’t think so
November 17th, 2010 at 10:41 AM
Yeah, like pretty much everyone else says, you gotta get out now. I should have also mentioned in that little story that this woman now uses phrases like “it’s your fault my marriage is dead”. Even if your conscience wasn’t speaking to you — it sure seems it is, though — it can get very ugly and very stressful in a heartbeat.
November 17th, 2010 at 10:42 AM
the morality is bad if you are friendly with the cheatee. if not, it would be someone else if not you, but in general, unmarried much preferable. does this discussion include unmarried but serious gf/bf or living together? morality police, open to you?
November 17th, 2010 at 10:43 AM
Good friend was banging a married woman for a long time, at least 6 months. He knew. He eventually cut her off. Now she drives by his house at least once a week. Sends him blank text messages “on accident”, presumably hoping he replies.
I met this chick a couple of times.
November 17th, 2010 at 10:43 AM
It’s your fault, Sanders. You really turned her on when you were doing Zumba.
November 17th, 2010 at 10:44 AM
Stick with it Bsanders! You’ve been shot before, this is nothing.
November 17th, 2010 at 10:47 AM
The Whigs are fantastic, esp. the first album
It’s your fault, Sanders. You really turned her on when you were doing Zumba.
hee hee. + leotards and legwarmers
November 17th, 2010 at 10:47 AM
I’m trying to remember the part of the story where BSAnders promised in front of God and his friends not to cheat. Oh wait, that was her.
In grad school I was a bartender at hipster doofus joint. One night my friend came in and said “Hey.” She was hot. She had worked there before, and the other tenders knew her, too. I asked her what was up, and she said “Clint had to fly out for the weekend. I guess I’m not doing anything all weekend.” My buddy John, the other bartender, said “So, the husband leaves and you come up to give the all clear for a weekend fuckathon. Cool.” She looked at me, and said “You told them?” John and the other bartender Danny looked at me with the most surprised face I have ever seen, and I said “No. You just did.” Maybe the most awkward thing I have ever been around.
November 17th, 2010 at 10:50 AM
Hey look everyone, golfercraig is a horrible person
November 17th, 2010 at 10:50 AM
Awesome golfercraig
November 17th, 2010 at 10:50 AM
I’ve been waiting for this ever since Miz brought it up.
November 17th, 2010 at 10:52 AM
No. The horrible person is the married one. Not my problem. 23, getting another graduate degree, working in a bar with hot chicks that are dumb enough to get married for all the wrong reasons does not make me a horrible person. Only the married one is a cheater.
November 17th, 2010 at 11:00 AM
No. The horrible person is the married one. Not my problem. 23, getting another graduate degree, working in a bar with hot chicks that are dumb enough to get married for all the wrong reasons does not make me a horrible person. Only the married one is a cheater.
/Sits back and opens up a Costco sized bag of chips.
November 17th, 2010 at 11:03 AM
again, I’d shoot both of you.
November 17th, 2010 at 11:04 AM
Good thing bullets bounce off me.
November 17th, 2010 at 11:05 AM
Now I see why sanders can’t write NFL for S&F anymore. I expected better, sanders. You’ve let us all down.
November 17th, 2010 at 11:05 AM
pretty saintly behavior considering he is a Missouri fan
November 17th, 2010 at 11:05 AM
you ten feet tall too cap?
November 17th, 2010 at 11:06 AM
Why did I just picture you with Wonder Woman bracelets?
November 17th, 2010 at 11:07 AM
Ha. I wish that was why. Nah, just no uninterrupted downtime at work right now and I didn’t want to do a half-assed job. Everyone loses then.
November 17th, 2010 at 11:09 AM
Come back for the playoffs if You can
November 17th, 2010 at 11:09 AM
god i admire you
/pushes up glasses
//fetch’d
November 17th, 2010 at 11:12 AM
Am I the only one who is getting near-porn for sidebar ads on Football Outsiders? In no way am I complaining. It’s awesome. It’s just… not what I’d expect there.
November 17th, 2010 at 11:39 AM
I’m so grossed out by this thread.
November 17th, 2010 at 12:03 PM
Like she wasn’t/isn’t banging that choad Mario Lopez.
November 17th, 2010 at 12:16 PM
sg, you don’t like fletch?
November 17th, 2010 at 12:44 PM
just look at what happened to artie lange. that’s what happens when you half ass it on TBL.
November 17th, 2010 at 3:40 PM
coincidental reference to a legendary magician. or merely an illusion?
November 17th, 2010 at 5:04 PM
Longoria looks like some New Yorker’s maid in a fancy dress she stole from her employer’s closet.