Almost every week Stephen Douglas (CRM) and Tim Ryan (TSH) will take you on a journey through links and pictures related to the previous days. Sometimes, we’re too hungover or too-on-vacation to compile a post such as this. In that case you’ll go without it and be forced to use the previous page option to remember the big stories. This is three in a row. We’re on fire!


1. Brett Favre’s Dong
CRM - Of all the things I didn’t need, this is the thing I didn’t need the most. Favre is 40-years-old. He’s old enough to know better than to send pictures of his cock to anyone. This is something that young people get in trouble for. Not people who have grandchildren. Its past the point where you tell someone to keep it in their pants. That’s not even the problem these days. The correct thing to tell someone is to keep a camera out of their pants. Oy, indeed.

TSH – If I were Brett Favre, I would have went with Sam Ryan of CBS rather than Sterger. But the cell phone wang pic stories are getting a bit redundant. Can someone please hack Vida Guerra’s cell phone again? (NSFW)

2. Umpires
TSH – If C. B. Bucknor were umping, none of this would have happened. 

CRM – As usual, the story turns to the poor state of officiating in a professional sport. The playoffs highlight the incompetence of the officials in every league, yet we still act surprised. Until we switch to complete robotic computerized RefBots, we will always be subjected to the whim of human beings. By the time you read this, the ALDS could be over.

3. Pitchers Playoff Performances
CRM - Is the second no-no in postseason history being overshadowed by the umpires? A little bit and its a shame because Roy Halladay was sick. And the sickest part? Tim Lincecum may have been sicker! 14 K’s, 2 hits, 1BB… Sick. 31 swings without contact. Cliff Lee was great Wednesday afternoon, but after the last two nights, his stat line looks like it belongs to a hobo.

TSH - Several players seem to have shown up to the playoffs this October with the appropriate amount of flare. It’s very much appreciated. Lincecum’s performance last night is why I badly wanted the Giants to make the playoffs. He good.

4. Randy Moss and Marshawn Lynch Traded!
TSH – Randy Moss resurrecting his career in New England was a great story and certainly fun to watch, especially in 2007. But being grateful for the opportunity eventually wore off and he — to no surprise, really — bitched his way out of town. Returning to Minnesota makes it interesting, but I would be enjoying this story much more if he were traded to the Bengals. Along with Brandon Marshall. And Braylon Edwards. And some other dickhead.

CRM – The Packers should have got Lynch and I can’t believe Randy Moss got traded. I mean, I can, but I did not see it coming. Damn diva wide receivers.

5. NBA Jam? NBA Jam.
CRM – Got my copy for the Wii on Wednesday and its pretty damn fun. Surprise, I know. I love the new features and the fact that I got to beat John Starks and Patrick Ewing with Jeff Green and Durantula last night.

TSH – It begins and ends with Detlef Schrempf and Shawn Kemp. A splendid partnership built on merciless defense and unrivaled passion.

Honorable Mention
John Elway interview … The Mighty Ducks: Best bank robbery film of all-time? … A fucking hat!

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This Week in Retarded Pictures Of Snooki
TSH – I bet most corpses smell better than Snooki’s farts.

CRM – What kind of nitwit tries to save a lobster? And let me take this opportunity to say that The Situation was acting really creepy last night. I hope the people that vote on Dancing With The Stars didn’t see that or he might be gone on Tuesday. For shame, Sitch. For shame.

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Query of the Week
So, Ellio’s, Stouffer’s or fuck frozen pizza with a rusty pipe?