The NBA Media Day blitz has been going on for various teams all week long. During this time, photographers tend to get the players and coaches to pose for wacky, wild and often times very scary photographs. Let’s dive right into the mess. Starting from left to right we have Richard Hamilton, Ben Gordon and Tayshaun Prince on some kind of glacier; Raptors 6′ 11″ forward David Andersen somehow looking about as fierce as David Spade; David West bursting out of a picture frame presumably saying “boo”; and Raptors coach Jay Triano with his wedding party shortly before playing 18 holes.

The brooding bookends here are pretty disturbing. On one hand, we have Big Z, who no matter what he does will always appear likable. He’s trying to show his dark side and all I can think of is Wallace from Wallace & Gromit. Mike Miller, however, looks like he’s living inside a Dexter promo. It really might be the most terrifying picture ever taken. As for the Kaman love, the assumption is that he’s made a sincere promise to Craig Smith and DeAndre Jordan to never, ever grow his hair out again.

Here we have what I’m guessing is Amar’e “feelin’ silly,” which I think we can all agree should never happen again. Up next, it’s Anderson Varejao, who purposely shaved seconds before the shoot because it’s his desire to look exactly like a woman. Then there’s Shaq, who’s wearing No. 36 this year? When you’re an NBA center donning the same number as Merton Hanks, it’s time to hang it up. Rounding things out is DeMarre Carroll with this year’s crowd pleasing version of the Costanza.

Finally, it’s Tyrone Hill, who amazingly doesn’t look like he fell asleep in a cigar room, Nick Van Exel (he’s a coach?), Popeye freaking Jones and three Adonis’s that need absolutely no introduction.

[All photos via Getty]