Almost every week Stephen Douglas (CRM) and Tim Ryan (TSH) will take you on a journey through links and pictures related to the previous days. Sometimes, we’re too hungover or too-on-vacation to compile a post such as this. In that case you’ll go without it and be forced to use the previous page option to remember the big stories. Unlike the last couple weeks, we’re alive. Let’s chat.

1. Michael Vick! Kevin Kolb! Controversy!
TSH – Andy Reid sounded terrible in his press conference announcing Vick as this week’s starter. It’s barely Week 3 and the guy appears as though he’s on his 29th life in Contra. Not good. I fully expect him to show up to the podium in a sweatshirt with ketchup and mustard stains by Week 6. And as much as I want to see Michael Vick do well, I kind of want the Eagles to lose this weekend just to see everyone in Philly freak out again.

CRM - *Talks about Fantasy Football* As big of a dick as Vick is for the dog fighting thing, he’s still fun to watch. You just have to wonder if he’ll be the Vick he looked like he would be earlier in his career. *More talk about Fantasy football*

2. Braylon Edwards
CRM – Well, he certainly is an idiot. You know what I would give to have a driver at my disposal 24 hours a day? I’d never have a non-alcoholic beverage for breakfast again.

TSH – Everyone keeps asking the obvious question which is, why didn’t Braylon have a driver since he was out boozing? But even without the booze, I’m puzzled as to why anyone with mountains of cash would prefer to drive around Manhattan at all. Give me Braylon’s contract and I’m hiring Lloyd Christmas as my full-time chauffeur within ten minutes.

3. Steinbrenner Bronzed in the Bronx!
TSH – I’m surprised and disappointed Big Stein’s monument wasn’t at least partially done in color. Would have stood out much better amongst the other monuments. Plus, he’s not wearing a turtleneck. Bullshit.

CRM – The deification of this man really grinds my gears. And the 30 For 30 on the new stadium was hilariously pointless. I can’t tell if it was just a nod at Seinfeld since it was a documentary about nothing.

4. Cy Young Debate
CRM – I still prefer Sigh Young.

TSH – The fact that Felix Hernandez is in the discussion for the Cy Young award means the internet is winning. Give yourselves a pat on the back, but don’t take too long in doing so, there is more jousting to be done.

5. Matt Diaz, Hero
TSH - I’ve been waiting for a player to take out a fan invading the field of play for ages. I just wish Diaz had opted for an unorthodox running crane kick.

CRM - Anyone that runs on the field should be tackled and beaten. I’m all for violence against people that ask for it.

Honorable Mention

RIP Kenny McKinley … SEC Poon is being updated again? Fuck yeah… Chael Sonnen’s steroids … FJM reunion … throat slashing returns… Pigsplosion on a Thursday? … a fucking hat!

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This Week in Retarded Pictures of Snooki
TSH – That poor fucking dog.

CRM – I think its great that Snooks and Angelina are hanging out and getting along again.

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This Week In Katy Perry On Sesame Street

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Query of the Week
So, Gummy Worms or Swedish Fish?