Minka Kelly & Sofia Vergara … Worm eats Cedar Rapids man’s retina … rich people are angry! … J-Woww has been offered $400k from Playboy … teachers, students, you know the drill … if you care about education in this country, take 30 minutes and read this … pocket notebooks of 20 famous men … great last name for someone running a brothel … a nice Blake Lively slideshow with a catchy title … can kids get fat from the common cold? … “Whisky made from diabetics’ urine” … Katy Perry’s cleavage takes a trip to Sesame Street … if you like rap, you’ll love this … sexting scandal in Wisconsin …

It’s like clockwork – it’s September, and the Twins win the AL Central. [Star Trib]

Can’t wait to see Adam Morrison in that Wizards jersey. [Wash Post]

BYU lost its QB for the season, so highly-acclaimed true freshman Jake Heaps will take over as the starter. [BYU Sports]

Washington’s MeAngelo Hall with some idiotic comments about Houston’s Andre Johnson. [Chronicle]

Houston goes from a fringe Heisman contender at QB to … yikes. [Pre-Snap Read]

Green Bay linebacker Clay Matthews: From USC walk-on to NFL sack leader. [LA Times]

Of prospects and fake identities. [SI]

Middle school teacher arrested with 20 pounds of weed. [KOB.com]

Tom Brady’s keeping the long, Bieber-like hair because … Gisele likes it, of course. [Herald]

Blind item: “Which former baseball star — who is married — was chatting up a couple of pretty young things at the bar of the Mark Hotel? The women didn’t recognize the player, who went into cliché-pickup territory by discussing their zodiac signs.” [Page 6]

Bango the Buck … unmasked! [Journal-Sentinel]

Those attending Emory can take a class on The Wire. [Emory Wheel via Ben Shpigel]

“Juvenile Hall employee faces trial on charges she had sex with detainee.” [Southwest Riverside News Network]

Michelle Beadle has a lot of fans. Especially in Iowa. [via Hotties in Cleats]

Very old. Very funny. Very real?

The only thing that would have made this cool was if the cat’s jersey would have been more obscure … like the Astros or something.