Russell Branyan is Doing Nothing to Enhance the Image of Baseball Players as Tough Guys
Russell Branyan of the Mariners suffered an injury in July closing the curtains in his hotel room and missed a few games. Now, this: “I took my family to a pizza parlor. They had plastic chairs, and after we’d eaten, my little guy had kicked one of his flip flops off. I was sitting on the edge of the chair, leaning down to pick it up, and the chair slid out from under me on the cement floor. I landed right on my tail bone.” Could someone be this unlucky twice in two months? He’s day-to-day. Hope he doesn’t sprain a wrist turning on the radio.

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60 Responses to “Russell Branyan is Doing Nothing to Enhance the Image of Baseball Players as Tough Guys”
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September 22nd, 2010 at 3:09 PM
You lose this much in a season, you find ways to not play.
September 22nd, 2010 at 3:10 PM
I landed right on my tail bone
not even broken?
September 22nd, 2010 at 3:11 PM
Russell Branyan is a
Pussy Pussy Pussy Pussy Pussy Pussy Pussy Pussy Pussy Pussy Pussy Pussy Pussy Pussy Pussy Pussy Pussy Pussy Pussy Pussy Pussy Pussy Pussy Pussy Pussy Pussy Pussy Pussy Pussy Pussy Pussy Pussy Pussy Pussy Pussy Pussy Pussy Pussy Pussy Pussy Pussy Pussy Pussy Pussy Pussy Pussy Pussy Pussy
/still beating the horse.
September 22nd, 2010 at 3:11 PM
I wouldn’t blame him for not wanting to play
September 22nd, 2010 at 3:13 PM
says the dude who only got thru 23 of the 50 states.
pssh…when are you going to finish something you started?
September 22nd, 2010 at 3:13 PM
I wouldn’t blame him for not wanting to play
can you imagine how boring a baseball game is if you’re used to playing and you have to watch it from the dugout?
I guess he can take a nap in the clubhouse.
September 22nd, 2010 at 3:14 PM
can you imagine how boring a baseball game is if you’re used to playing and you have to watch it from the dugout?
True, but if every game you play you lose, it probably isn’t much fun.
September 22nd, 2010 at 3:14 PM
I’ve landed hard enough right on my tailbone on ice patches while skiing that hurt so bad I thought I was going to piss myself. didn’t break though. I can’t even imagine that pain.
September 22nd, 2010 at 3:15 PM
neither is zack grienke
tyduffy’d
September 22nd, 2010 at 3:15 PM
Hell no, that’d be awesome. Take 3 or 4 huge dips per game, sit on your ass, AND get paid? Sign me the fuck up.
September 22nd, 2010 at 3:16 PM
Pat Forde likes to praise a dead horse, not beat it:
September 22nd, 2010 at 3:16 PM
True, but if every game you play you lose, it probably isn’t much fun.
I would spend most of my time adjusting my genitalia.
September 22nd, 2010 at 3:16 PM
When I’m at a game always am fascinated by watching the outfielders out there, has to be amazingly dull since you can go innings without having a ball hit at you
September 22nd, 2010 at 3:17 PM
And there is simply no doing justice to what Secretariat did in the Belmont. Greatest athletic performance in history.
love the horse, love the race, and love you tube for having the race. But I think only 6 horses ran in the race, and all of the other pretty good horses took a pass on the race rather than get pounded.
But 31 lengths is 31 lengths.
September 22nd, 2010 at 3:18 PM
The bullpen creatures are the most interesting at a ballgame, IMO.
September 22nd, 2010 at 3:19 PM
this is why people need tails, ones that can be used like an appendage, like monkeys. not only to avoid pain, but to hold things, like a beer when you’re trying to put your change back in your pocket in a busy liquor store.
September 22nd, 2010 at 3:21 PM
i’ll get our best scientists right on that.
September 22nd, 2010 at 3:21 PM
What Secretariat did was awesome, but it’s a freaking horse. It may be the greatest athletic performance ever..by a horse, but you can’t compare it to what humans do or what they are capable of.
September 22nd, 2010 at 3:23 PM
I once slid off the back of a high bar stool in slow motion and landed right on the ol’ tailbone, but I was so drunk I barely even noticed that I’d hit the floor. Felt pretty shitty the next day, though.
September 22nd, 2010 at 3:23 PM
Amazing job.
September 22nd, 2010 at 3:23 PM
but you can’t compare it to what humans do or what they are capable of.
you’re saying a person couldn’t run a mile and a quarter in one minute fifty eight seconds with a tiny mexican on their back?
That’s keen analysis.
September 22nd, 2010 at 3:25 PM
Are you saying Secretariat couldn’t hit a curveball?
September 22nd, 2010 at 3:25 PM
I kno ryte, and get this, horses have twice as many legs as we do!
September 22nd, 2010 at 3:25 PM
Chucky Cheese needs better chairs
September 22nd, 2010 at 3:25 PM
Hey now…Ronnie Turcotte was a Cajun, not a Mexican.
And, for once, Pat Forde speaks the truth.
/All hail the gravatar
/Knows it’s going to be Disney schlock, but haven’t looked this forward to a movie in quite some time
September 22nd, 2010 at 3:27 PM
All this time I thought it was a soccer ball on there. Never knew it was a horse until I gave it a closer inspection.
September 22nd, 2010 at 3:27 PM
Man: Faster than giraffe, slower than zebra
September 22nd, 2010 at 3:28 PM
Secretariat might have been my favorite SportsCentury episode ever.
September 22nd, 2010 at 3:28 PM
….
……….
……………
Really?
September 22nd, 2010 at 3:28 PM
Knows it’s going to be Disney schlock, but haven’t looked this forward to a movie in quite some time
I’m right with you. In face, I’m going to watch the Belmont right now.
September 22nd, 2010 at 3:28 PM
It’s Secretariat on the cover of Time with the caption “Super Horse”
September 22nd, 2010 at 3:28 PM
Richie Sexson > Russell Branyan
September 22nd, 2010 at 3:29 PM
They’ve finally run out of underdog stories to make movies about so they tapped Secretariat? I suggest Anthony Anderson play Charles Barkley in the film about the ’92 Dream Team
September 22nd, 2010 at 3:30 PM
Man: Faster than giraffe, slower than zebra
That is surreal.
September 22nd, 2010 at 3:30 PM
which is as fast as we need to be, we have rifles with a scope.
September 22nd, 2010 at 3:30 PM
This chimp was clearly not motivated in this match against the SEAL. It must have been like a bowl game to the little guy.
September 22nd, 2010 at 3:31 PM
Seattle Slew > Secretariat
September 22nd, 2010 at 3:31 PM
What? The checkerboard thing looks like a soccer ball. It’s 32×32 pixels. Not easy to tell unless you blow it up. Perhaps I haven’t been eating enough carrots lately, though.
September 22nd, 2010 at 3:32 PM
forget what I said earlier. 5 horses in the Belmont, including Sham, who finished second (and the only horse in the picture) in the Derby.
September 22nd, 2010 at 3:32 PM
No. But I would consider your argument if you said Spectacular Bid.
September 22nd, 2010 at 3:32 PM
In he last 90′s, Ben Johnson raced against a horse and a car. He came third.
September 22nd, 2010 at 3:33 PM
You sayin’ that Secretariat beat the shit out of far inferior competition? Maybe even patsies? Sounds more like college football to me.
September 22nd, 2010 at 3:33 PM
I thought it was an advertisement for Covert Affairs.
/I kid, I kid
September 22nd, 2010 at 3:33 PM
seattle’s best > Seattle Slew > Secretariat
September 22nd, 2010 at 3:34 PM
Man: Faster than giraffe, slower than zebra
on that same show, 41 midgets working in unison were more powerful than an elephant
September 22nd, 2010 at 3:34 PM
You sayin’ that Secretariat beat the shit out of far inferior competition? Maybe even patsies? Sounds more like college football to me.
i ended up being wrong, having talked out of my ass.
September 22nd, 2010 at 3:34 PM
The Belmont $take$
September 22nd, 2010 at 3:34 PM
Dirt, here’s a good review from my fav racing scribe, Steve Haskin: he notes that they try and make Sham the “enemy”…when he was really anything but.
http://cs.bloodhorse.com/blogs/horse-racing-steve-haskin/archive/2010/09/19/big-red-on-the-big-screen.aspx
September 22nd, 2010 at 3:39 PM
try and make Sham the “enemy”
I’m familiar with the idea, having met the great and terrible War Admiral in Seabiscuit.
September 22nd, 2010 at 3:40 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ua3M1O-WQrM&feature=related
/for spencer
September 22nd, 2010 at 3:43 PM
Man O’ War > Seattle Slew > Spectacular Bid > Secretariat > Sarah Jessica Parker
September 22nd, 2010 at 3:44 PM
Horses aren’t athletes, they’re horses. Running is something they have been very good at for a very long time.
September 22nd, 2010 at 3:44 PM
September 22nd, 2010 at 3:45 PM
Don > Seattle Slew > Secretariat
September 22nd, 2010 at 3:49 PM
Horses aren’t athletes, they’re horses. Running is something they have been very good at for a very long time.
I love an oversimplification as much as the next guy, but race horses are really, really fast. And when you train them, they get even faster.
And not all horses are good at running. Some enormous ones, are good at pulling enormous weights. Some horses just sit around and get fat eating grain. But some horses are athletes, even amongst horses.
September 22nd, 2010 at 3:51 PM
And not all horses are good at running
equestrian
September 22nd, 2010 at 3:53 PM
D. Wayne Lukas in the house!
September 22nd, 2010 at 3:54 PM
Chawhee.
/5yr old me
September 22nd, 2010 at 3:56 PM
still pissed about the indians trading branyan when he was on pace for single season strikeout record
September 22nd, 2010 at 4:01 PM
And now, running for Pepperidge Farms……Don.