Boom…Roasted? With Miami taking on Ohio State, a Columbus “humorist” decided to outline the many ways Columbus is superior. Be gentle, Ohio is still mastering this whole “irony” concept. “Florida’s well-known reputation for goofiness should come as no surprise. That unfortunate state has a high water table that precludes basements. Thus, Miamians have no place to sit out a tornado, tinker with tools or send the kids when the noise gets unbearable.” Thankfully, this took a different direction from my real life friend’s portrayal of Detroit. [Columbus Dispatch]