Kate Mara, the only palatable thing about the NY Giants … in case you missed Jessica Alba on Letterman Monday … only in Arkansas: “Witness Recalls Gunfire at Baptism Party” … strip club drama in Detroit … because we forgot to link the ‘Dancing with the Stars’ cast yesterday … 11 people who earn less money than ‘The Situation‘ … Salma Hayek never seems to disappoint … “Butts arrest in Boob case” … man tasered three times in his own house (with video) …

Our favorite sports headline of the day: “At USC, it’s so quiet you can hear a Heisman drop.” [LA Times]

You know you want to read this Sarah Palin profile. [Vanity Fair]

Hiker pulls a Plaxico Burress – tucks gun into the back of his pants, shoots himself in the butt. [ABC 12]

An Oregon State vs. TCU preview. That’s probably the 2nd or 3rd best game of college football’s opening weekend. [My QB Has Moxie]

Tampa Bay has cut former Giants’ running back Derrick Ward. [Joe Bucs Fan]

At an auction, someone paid $460 for the jock strap of a Rugby player. [Out Sports]

Mets trade outfielder Jeff Francoeur to the Rangers. [Morning News]

It seems as if nobody is thrilled Bob Bradley will return to coach the USA soccer team in the 2014 World Cup. [Union Trib]

Stanford biology major to start at fullback and linebacker Saturday against Sacramento State. [USA Today]

Kevin Durant has gone global. [Oklahoman]

“Rachel Uchitel, whose fiancé died in the Twin Towers on 9/11, visited Ground Zero last week to shoot scenes for her upcoming appearance on VH1′s ‘Celebrity Rehab.’” [Post]

Don’t know about you, but we’re loving all these Red Sox concession stories. [Herald]

That kind of morning, folks.

This appears to be Demi Moore dancing at a Snoop Dog concert.

Icelandic soccer team calls this the ‘toilet.’ [via Hot Clicks]