Megan Fox … she’s trying to be the world’s fattest mom … look, it’s a graffiti’d penis on a drawbridge! … so other wives hate when their husband goes with the Fu Manchu? Good to know … Keith Olbermann vs. Daily Kos … a guy died by firing squad this morning … Arizona may go after anchor babies … for DC denizens: sportscaster Steve Buckhantz is getting hitched … David Lee, please keep your distance from that midget … two guys from Sacramento won a Beer Pong tournament and $25k … “Police find 2 intoxicated naked men in woods” …

Things that will never, ever happen – Roger Goodell banning NFL players from strip clubs. [Fox Sports]

Two really old men got together – Sid Hartman and Lou Holtz – and then the one who works for ESPN said Notre Dame should join the Big Ten. [Star Trib]

Man killed by his own family for trying to change the channel to a World Cup game. [ESPN]

After one round, your US Open leaders: Shaun Micheel, Paul Casey, and Brendan de Jonge. Tiger is tied for 47th, but just five shots back. [CBS Sports]

Here’s a rather scathing piece on the Suns owner, Robert Sarver, who just lost his GM (Steve Kerr) and presumed heir to that role (David Griffin) in a 48-hour span. [Arizona Republic]

David “Calamity” James is expected to start in goal for England tonight, replacing Robert Green. [BBC]

Wouldn’t you know it – a Tottenham player has a hot WAG. [Kickette]

See, not everyone dislikes the World Cup analysis of Alexi Lalas. [Guardian]

Using Google Maps to look at every MLB Stadium. [Snippets.com]

If the Buffalo Bills fielded a soccer team, this would be their starting 11. [Buff News]

Abby Sunderland – victim or heroine? [LA Times]

The San Diego Union-Tribune is hiring “junior staff writers” – what is that? For what it’s worth, the pay (30-35k) is more than we made at our first newspaper stop a decade ago. [NBC San Diego]

That’s talent.

Peep that overprotective deer at the 1 minute mark.