Tiger Woods is the subject of a lengthy profile in this month’s Vanity Fair. While the full story isn’t online yet, we’ve plucked a few of the choice highlights below. The female on the left is the Perkins waitress he shagged (one particular detail is gnarly); the blonde on the right is Loredana Jolie Ferriolo, the one who placed third in the Tiger Woods Mistress Beauty Pageant.

* Mindy Lawton says she met Woods for one rendezvous at 5:30 in the morning, before he had to leave for a golf tournament. Although she was menstruating, he insisted on having sex with her, but when the key card to access his office didn’t work, he drove to a nearby parking lot, where they had sex in his car.

* The notoriously stingy Woods did buy dinner for Lawton — but only once, and even then, it was a chicken wrap from Subway, she said.

* Years earlier, however, John Merchant [a lawyer who had been connected to the Woods family since the mid 1990's] had warned Woods to avoid Jordan and Barkley, saying of Jordan, “Stay away from that son of a bitch, because he doesn’t have anything to offer to the fucking world in which he lives except playing basketball.” Merchant adds, “Are they his black role models? You’ve got to be kidding me.”

* Of the women interviewed, Woods spent money on only one: Loredana Jolie Ferriolo, a former Playboy model he met through madam Michelle Braun. Ferriolo says she went on $15,000 shopping sprees and charged everything to Tiger’s hotel room.

[Vanity Fair; this photo was actually in the paper today]