The Chicago showdown between White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen and couch columnist Jay Mariotti has the feel of the Apollo Creed-Ivan Drago press conference in Rocky IV where trash talk is exchanged, fingers are pointed, but alas, the two are separated. The only problem with that analogy is that Mariotti would actually have to show up at the press conference.

It’s been a mud-slinging week, but we thought this was finally the coup de grace, courtesy of Rick Morrisey at the Chicago Tribune, who called Mariotti – gasp! – a blogger:

I’ll give Mariotti this: Whether he realizes it or not, he might have been the nation’s first blogger, without actually writing one.

He has led the way by not leading the way to the locker room or the clubhouse. He writes what he wants without ever talking to a soul.

The only difference is he travels often to events, unlike bloggers, many of whom sit in their underwear all day and update, update, update.

But it’s not the way most columnists do their jobs. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

But no. Mariotti the mouthy hack is not giving up his crusade to have Guillen suspended. Today, he urges commish Bud Selig to check out Ozzie’s sex-crazed history:

One incident involved Guillen himself on a night in Baltimore when he stood naked behind me in the clubhouse and — how do I put this? — pretended to have sex with me. If that happens out on the street, he gets arrested for lewd behavior. A screaming Carl Everett, mean guy, confronted me outside the Sox’ clubhouse last October. Oh, and before a playoff game, while I joined a live ESPN “SportsCenter” segment on the field, Guillen yelled at me from the dugout, “Get off our field before I kick your ass!”

Will these two just settle it like men, in a no-holds barred steel cage match?

EARLIER: Ozzie Guillen vs. Jay Mariotti. We Think We Know What Set Him Off.
Ozzie’s slurring topped only by Ozzie’s skating (Chicago Sun Times)
The right way: You write it, you show up (Chicago Tribune)